My charecter is an Ayleid born in a remote ayleid city named Searin Dol-Sacrelith, hes of a very low caste but was allowed to learn higher magicka due to his friendship with the leader's (for a single alyeid city is it king or duke or what?) son. though all of the residents there know of the fall of the ayleid empire they dont know the extent and many of them plot about retaking cyrodill. Searin leads many of the ayleids on a raid of an imperial fort and the leaders son is killled, the leader banishes searin from there halls along with the ayleids who followed him. the ayleid force proceeds to the ayleid ruins of vilverin where they try to whipe out the undead and necromancers desecrating there sacred halls but after clearing out the first half the necromancers leader there Jalbert seals off the lower levels. the ayleids make camp in and around the ruins but are whiped out by the imperial legion all but searin where killed. Searin is taken to prison where Patrick Stuart comes and gives him the amulet of kings, searin of course being a proud ayleid decides to keep it hidden and not deliver it to jaufree at first, he finds some texts on the ayleids and learns the truth about his people and how they where defeated, he holds a grudge against everyone he meets but is a survivalist above all and allows himself to co-exist not so peacefully with thr imperials. i plan to take him through vilverin where he will take revenge on jalbert and he will eventualy take the amulet of kings to jaufree and complete the mq after completing the daedric shrines his patron diety azura will tell him that mehrunes dagon must be stopped. searin is very arrogant and will not tolerate anyone desecrating ayleid ruins or artifacts... he may have murdered one Irlav Jarol for possesing an Ayleid Meteoric Iron Staff (thanks to OOO)

this was my roleplaying idea i posted in oblivion general discusion... would it make a good fan fic?

Only problem with your idea is that the Alyeids are extinct apart from Ocato... and there are probably 0%(excluding Ocato) left.

It is quite possible that a person is of Ayleid descent, but the thing is that their cultural identity has been annihilated. There is only one person left who might be considered culturally Ayleid, and that's Umaril.

edit: and even he's dead, so...

edit 2: also, its been thousands of years since the fall of the ayleids. Why'd it take them till the third era to mount a counter attack?

First of all, Aylieds don't worship Daedra. Second, when was the emperor renamed Patrick Stuart? Third, your writing style needs quite a bit of work.

ok really quikc heres my answer to each accusation

1. Ayleids dont worship daedra- The Ayleids controlled the entirety of Cyrodiil, thanks to their mastery of magic and their alliances with the Daedric princes
Ayleids' close relationship with the Daedric Princes is explored in greater detail. It is revealed that they held their human subjects in check with Daedric magic which allowed them to maintain armies of undead and lesser daedra. Their subservience to the Daedric Princes and their immense cruelty towards their human subjects (elaborated upon ingame in the book The Adabal-a) were contributing factors to the Aedra giving their aid to the human races.

keyword subserviance to the daedric princes, not a big leap twoards worship it would be fair to assume some did btw source wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayleid#Ayleid

2. Patrick Stuart... cmon it was a joke, did you play oblivion Uriel Septim was voiced by patrick Stuart...

3. if you read the entire thing you would see it was just a roleplaying idea i had not a real fanfic the question was would it be a good basis for a fanfic

now you can respond :celebration:

Oh. Oops, shot myself on that one. I'm not going to argue it, not in the mood for it.

to expand it a bit, they arnt mounting a counter attack, one small civilisation was left alive due to its remote location and its kings decision to keep its inhabitants in the dark about what has happened to an extent and ban wandering far from the ruins. the 'counter attack' is a small group of arrogant youth who are over confident in there abilities and think that all other races are weak from the stories that are passed down from there civilisation

Searak already countered the lore part of that, I just wanted to throw in Umaril (bound to Meridia, Daedra). They liked the Daedra, though they acknowledged the Eight as well. Their main goal was to return to being a part of the Aetherius, which Lorkhan took them from and bound them into mortal bodies. Hence the Towers [/lore rant]

Now, just saying that his style needs work is not very good criticism. The whole point behind constructive criticism is that it offers advice and solutions, or at least insights. I don't really have the time anymore, but when I used to give more critiques I was always sure to offer lengthy descriptions of my advice. It's gotten a bit more sour as of late, I get condescending much more quickly, but the point remains the same. Not to say that I don't agree, but that's no way to help anyone.

The key thing about presenting an idea is the organization. You want easily read paragraphs, with good punctuation and enough empty lines between the text that it is not the dreaded "wall o' text". Much easier to read when formatted correctly, and punctuation is a skill every writer should master as quickly as they can




Alright, let me stop you there. As an amateur, wanna be lore buff as well as a writer of fan fiction, one thing with trying to make a lore based story is that you can't always play inside the lines. You need to stop trying to conform with lore, don't appease or give in to the harsh criticism of "That's not lore friendly!", take creative license. Writing isn't about re-writing the UESP, it's about adding to the world by going into detail about a specific thing you like. If you just stay with the established lore you'll hardly get anywhere with anything that puts a lot of emphasis on it. I will tell you that there is no way you can bring Ayleids into the third era and not get any guff about it. People just aren't willing to accept the breaking of what we call canon, and they have a valid point. If you break the lore it's no longer fan fiction.

However, you can take creative licence (aka do whatever you want because it's your book) and change things up a little. With the Ayleids it's going to be hard finding a reason for them to have survived due to the Alessian Order and their persecution of everything that wasn't them (they were pretty bad, they ended up causing a Dragon Break). So, you have to make a choice: stick with the Ayleids or choose a different idea. Now, if you want to stick with the Ayleids that's fine, but you would need to appease the lore monsters out there (like me) with enough real lore along with your own interesting spin. My primary suggestion for that would be to set the story back when Ayleids were still dominant. Nothing ever said you need to write in the current period, historical writings can be the most fun

Of course, nothing says you have to write Ayleid. I don't see anything in your idea that can't be tweaked to change it from Ayleids to, say, Dunmer, or Bosmer. Heck, they could just be Imperials, who knows? My advice, Ayleids don't have enough lore, and there's no way you can learn it all in short enough a period to write this. So I would say move on, just to keep people from telling you all about how your story breaks the lore. I wouldn't care, so long as it's a good story, but this is fan fiction, so you need to try and stick with the lore.

Oh, and as someone I highly respect says on another forum:

Ideas mean nothing, it's all about how you write.

Thanks, and keep up the good work :goodjob:

Ocato not being an Alyeid, it's a little easier to say they are all gone. Except for the book On Wild Elves, which claims there are plenty of them around.

right, but its a real stretch of logic that they haven't tried something like this for thousands of years and that the old propaganda still sticks. It'd make munch more sense if this was only a couple of hundred years after the rise of Alessia and the first empire of man. Several Ayleid cities remained in working order after the revolt of mankind and Ayleids were even incorporated into the power-structure Alessia and her cohorts created.

Well now, that is an interesting http://www.imperial-library.info/obbooks/wild_elves.shtml. I remember seeing it before, but never gave the dates it mentioned much thought. Looking at it now though it does seem strange. Does it imply that Ayleids actually live in their form (not an evolution) somewhere on Tamriel? At least at the time of the Second Era, that is. I could swear the commonly accepted theory is that they're all extinct :shrug:

The Ayleids that survived are taught from birth to stay close to there city, leaving is treason of the highest degree and those who strayed and are never seen again usualy where killed and there bodies hidden due to the covenant with the Daedric lord Azura the only reason searin was able to survive leaving was he was needed to by prophecy and azura recognised this, its based on my oblivion charecter im roleplaying like the buffy the bowgirl stories

btw i decided to start work on it, expect to see episode 1 in a few days!