Alright. Thanks to Kik's thread about the lack of super-mutant fanfics, I've decided to start my own. It's about three muties and their adventures in the DC wasteland. It's suppose to be fairly comic, however some parts will be serious to a degree. Each chapter will be fairly long, so be warned.

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Chapter One
Out of the Vat and into the Wasteland - Part One

"These three fresh out of the goo." Came a gruff voice that echoed within vault 87's cold, blood-stained steel walls. It was the voice of an aged super-mutant, his skin was beginning to take more of a green tint, rather than a sickly yellow. He was talking to another, bigger, supermutant whilst standing infront of three fairly weedy looking mutants. "Send them out. They go get humans." He barked, giving out orders to the less experienced one. He turned, looking upon the three new muties. "You go out of vault. Find..." The mutant help his hand up, holding up five fingers after counting each one out loud, "...You find six humans! Bring back alive, ok? And no eating them!" After speaking the final part, he seemed to gaze off, imaging feasting on a human. Mendal, the small and smartest of the three stepped forwards and spoke out.

"Ok, Grish. Do we get guns?" Grish shook his head, knowing that if he gave them guns, they'd end up killing the humans, rather than capturing them. Ham's face dropped, he was the biggest and dumbest of the group. Grish had ran out with half-decent names by the time he'd come to Ham, so named him after one of his favourite treats. "Ham want rocket shooter!" He began protesting to Grish, a frown upon his leathery face. "No!" The large supermutant bellowed at him, pointing out of the door. "You go to armoury, get..." He pondered for a moment, before the eldest one spoke out. "Get hammers...And stuff!" He was clearly fustrated by all the talking within his room; It made his brain ache. He began to throw pencils, cups and other, random items at the group, screaming for them to go...

Not much later, the three immerged from the vault, armed to the teeth with...Crap. Grimm, the most average of the group had a large plank strapped to his back with a few bent, rusty nails forced through the end and a makeshift metal helmet upon his skull. Mendal had come a bit more prepared, having recieved a large custom made club, coated in sharps of metal and sharpened bone. Attatched to his body, he had his own personal armour, created from various pieces of cars. As for Ham, he'd chosen a nice big sledgehammer, good for crushing limbs and hopes of escape. His armour, on the other hand, was, well, unique. To protect his thick skull, he wore a large bucket, with eyeholes and a smiling mouth cut into it. His body armour was the strangest of all; Two large slabs of brahmin steak. Ham's theory was that if he got hungry, he could eat it, "Tasty armour!" As he put it.

Mendal lead the misfit group of mutants forwards. They were heading to a settlement known as Arefu. Mendal had heard stories of it being a small Human settlement with exactly six inhabitants and not only did it have the required amount of Humans, it was also poorly defended and fairly close. "Convenient", thought Mendal, "Whatever that mean.". The group wandered from the vault, content on their little hunting trip. It didn't take the trio long until they found their first human. A weak looking man wearing a black leather jacket and holding what appeared to be an empty sawn-off shotgun.

He jumped out from behind a rock, thinking he'd be confronting a group of large Humans, only to find it was infact, three large super-mutants. "Oh...Uh." He turned on his heels, dropping the shotgun and started to run, but it was too late. Grimm already had the man in his grip. "Haha! Weak Human try to run from Grimm." He lifted him up, his hand wrapped around both his legs and held him up for all the mutants to examine. "Oh god, d-don't eat me!" He tried to plead with the mutants, but it was no use, he stood no chance against these giants, with force or with words. "Mendal, what we do with silly human?" He thought for a moment, for moving down to the human's head, getting extremely closing, exhaling a concotion of pungent smells into his nostrils. "Boo!" He yelled, causing Mel to do two things. Firstly, he lost control of his bladder and then he passed out. All three of the mutants began to laugh at him. "Silly Human. We hold onto him, might come in handy." Said Mendal and they continued to walk. Grimm slipped him into a large brown sack and strapped him onto his back.

Further up the winding road, the muties came across a fairly large hound, who's fur was matted and in a small amount. Ham's face lit up inside of his bucket, charging at the dog, yelling: "Poochie!" The dog's eyes filled with horror as the huge, screaming mutant charged it. The thoughts within it's head sumed up to, "Oh hell no." Before it had a chance to run, it was already being straddled in the bulky mutants arms. "My poochie! Grimm. We feed dog silly man?" Grimm looked over to Mendal, giving him a inquisitive look. Mendal rubbed his chin for a moment, then nodded. Grimm hurled the sack of his back to the ground infront of Ham. The sound of breaking bones and then those bones ripping through flesh and skin filled the air. Anxiously, Ham opened the bag with one hand, as the other gripped the squirming dog. "Time for din-din Poochie." He placed his foot ontop of the back, holding the body of Mel down and his hand gripped a leg. He screwed his face up as he pulled on the leg. Inside the bag Mel screamed and cried out, but his protesting was soon replaced with the ripping of muscle.

Poochie feasted on the severed leg, realising that going along with the mutants may be a good thing, free food and protection. The four wandered on, Ham holding the leg by his side so Poochie could take a bit whenever he pleased. Soon, they were near the overpass Arefu was on. Mendal scoped the place out, his common sense told him they should wait until night to attack. So they did. Night soon fell, plunging the wasteland into perpetual darkness. Ham strapped the leg onto his back, considering it as a possible weapon if needed, but held in his hands the sledgehammer he had named "Hammer". Grimm gripped his club in both hands, ready to grab and bag some humans, while Mendal approached entirely unarmed, knowing that his unarmed skill alone would be enough to take down any humans. Together, the four crept up the overpass towards the makeshift housing, even Poochie seemed to be sneaking.

They approached the first house, Mendal took point and motioned for Grimm to follow and for Ham (and Poochie) to stand guard incase they alerted anyone else. The two mutants managed to make it through the doorway and into the little shack. Mendal signalled to Grimm, who opened the bag containing Mel's corpse inside. With his knowledge of the Human body and brute force, Mendal grasped Ken Ewers' neck, stopping him fron breathing. He thrashed around, making very little noise. Luckily, Mendal applied just enough force and hadn't crushed his windpipe. Once his body stopped moving, Mendal lifted the unconcious human up and placed him in the sack, smiling to Grimm. The commotion had woken up Ken's wife, Brailee Ewers, though. She looked up at the two mutants holding a sack. "Santa?" She asked to Grimm, whom was holding the sack. The two mutants exchanged bewildered looks for a moment before Grimm nodded towards here and then delievered a punch right into her innocent face. He couldn't help giving a little laugh at the clearly insane women after stuffing her in the bag. "Two down...Four more." Whispered Mendal as the two exited the house.

Chapter One
Out of the Vat and into the Wasteland - Part Two

Once out of the Ewer's residence, Mendal tied the top of the sack with a thick metal wire he'd taken from the vault inorder to keep it's contense inside. "Grimm," Whispered Mendal, looking around the small settlement as he spoke to his brethrin, "you, Ham and Poochie stay out here. If you here noise from house, get ready for fight." He then proceeded to the next house, the abode of Karen Schenzy whilst Ham took his place with Poochie by the West's home, standing by the door, listening. Grimm was standing by the door to Evan King's house, club in both hands, incase he needed to clobber the inhabitant of the house, oh he hoped he would.

Karen tossed and turned in her bed, plagued by nightmares of supermutants and ghouls, she called out quitely in her sleep as she rolled, "No...No, don't take me. No, I don't want to be..." Her sleep talking was ended when Mendal bludgeoned her head with a conveniently placed iron; Sadly for Karen, she'd been doing her ironing before she went to bed, so now had a iron imprint burnt onto her skin. Mendal, despite his 'vast intelligence', couldn't resist slapstick humour and chuckled whilst stuffing her in a fresh bag. The mutant crept out, throwing the bag containing Karen ontop of the already full bag. He then approached Grimm, who was standing by Evan King's house. "Now, you go in an get hi--" The mutant's speech was cut short as a bowling ball impacted upon his unarmoured skull.

"Take that you person snatching, milk svcking, radiation loving, hole living, brahmin...Uh, brahmin herding green sonnava [censored]!" Yelled Evan King as he shook his fist at the now unconcious Mendal. Unfortunately for the mutants, Mr. King drunk too much water that evening and had to use the little boy's room and over heard the mutants. Grimm looked to his fallen comrade and called out with rage, "I come for you now, little man!" He kicked the door down with one massive, size god knows foot and stormed in, only to be met with a hail of bullets from the Human's assault rifle. Luckily for Grimm, there was a wall nearby to hide behind which shielded him from the bullets.

The commotion had woken up the Wests, all three of them. As Mr. and Mrs. West ran out to see what was happening, Ham took care of both of them with two might swings with Mel's half-eaten leg. "Haha. That's what LEGGING it get you, human, haha!" The only joke Ham would make and only Ian West and Poochie heard it, neither of them seemed to appreciate it much. Whilst Ham was gloating about his joke to himself, Ian, overcome by his cannibalistic strength and rage, dived out onto the mutant, taking him completely by suprised. The mutant fell, letting go off the leg causing it to fly off, a fair amount of his reach. For a Human, Ian was extremely strong, strong enough to overpower the mutant. Ham lay on the floor, trying to keep Ian's mouth from his neck. "Poochie help Ham! Poochie help Ham!" The mutant called out for his four legged friend, yet the dog too had a dilemma; He was torn between saving Ham, his master or gorging himself on the succulent leg of Mel that was within his reach. "Poochie help master, please!"

Grimm peaked round the corner of the wall, noting the position of Evan before retreating back round to avoid another volley of hot lead. The mutant looked around for something to help him. Infront of him he say a variety of things. A metal box that appeared to have small, green objects in. Next to it was a hunting rifle with quite a few .32 caliber rounds surrounding it and then...An object which filled Grimm with fear. An object of such horrific proportions, he almost began to cry. Summoning all his courage, Grimm gripped onto 'the object' and moved out from his cover, diving to the side. He flung the object at Evan's face with such terrifying speed, "What the blazin--" Smash. The blood red cap shattered against his nose. It's pale white face crumbled and cracked, flying into his eyes. Grimm had managed to take down two threats; Evan King and...The gnome, who was in pieces, embedded in Evan's face. The mutant sighed in relief.

Outside, Ian got closer to Ham's neck, his teeth were audiable as they clicked together, moving closer to the green skin that coated his neck. "Poochie!" Called out the mutant as he struggled to hold the crazed youth back. The teeth of Ian ripped into the mutant's skin, cutting through it like a hot knife through green butter. "Agh!" He called the mutant as blood poured from his wound. His strength was albeit gone, the cannibal moved down to finish Ham off, only to stop halfway through. Ian's eyes opened wide and filled with tears, he let out a blood curdling scream, before passing out and fall down. As his body fell, Ham saw his loyal companion, Poochie, with his teeth sunk into what he imagined to be the Human's 'meat stick'. Ham began to laugh uncontrollably as Poochie jumped up onto the mutant's chest. "Good Poochie! Poochie save master, master happy!" The dog began to lick Ham's face and Ham was happy...Until he remembered where Poochie's mouth had just been. "Ew! No Poochie no!"

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All comments, critism and input is welcome, as long as it isn't blatant flame or trolling. Enjoy. I'll probably do chapter two tomorrow or at least start it. One thing I will say is that it'll involve The Family ^_^

Truly, murder and human trafficking have never been made so hilarious on these boards.

9.5/10, a few of the expressions and sentences ran on or cut off early, but very well written and through the writing we can see some of your sharp wit.

:thumbsup:

Thanks, Dracth. Just wait till the next chapter, hehe. Humour, slapstick violence and of course, super mutant idiocy at its best. I'm off for tonight (Its 23:02 in England, lol). Cheerio.

Who's a good Poochie, thats right you are, you're a good Poochie. Good Poochie!

Seems interesting, but you might want to make their, the super mutants, surroundings a tad more gritty or bleak, unless that's not what your aiming for. I give it a 7.5/10 so far.

I wouldn't say that's what I'm going for. I'm trying to make it a bit more light-hearted, you know? I think it has a nice feeling at the moment, but as the story develops, I think I'll make it slowly more serious. Oh and if anyone thinks they've got a suitable name for chapter one, please, post it up

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Chapter Two
Blood's Thicker Than F.E.V. - Part One

"Run, Wes! I'll hold of the mutants, you and your brothers go!" The cry came from the hallway, yet it was overshadowed by the noise of something trying to batter down the front door. Wes stood in the kitchen, frozen by fear. His brothers, Todd and Neil, stood with him, also gripped by the terror. Their father called out again, his old hunting rifle dug into his shoulder. "Hurry up and go!" He bellowed, firing a shot through the door and into the thigh of an attacking mutant. "Aggh, now you die Human!" It screamed just as the stone head of a sledgehammer broke through the door, sending the rifle wielding man back and onto his back, ribs broken, organs torn. Neil began to cry as he saw his father on the floor, clinging to both life and his rifle.

Frantically, he began firing unaimed, wild shots through the gaping whole in the door. Wes turned to the kitchen's back door, opening it. "Come on, let's go get help!" Wes had already dashed out of the kitchen; He had no intention of getting help, he knew that everyone was dead and that the nearest settlement was miles away. He rounded the corner, Neil and Todd in close pursuit. "Suprise!"...

Mendal awoke, he looked around, seeing the half split bowling ball next to his head. "Ugh," He looked around, noticing both Grimm and Ham sitting just by the sacks, which were now full of movement as their occupants had woken up. "Oh my god, there's a dead guy in here! Let me out goddamnit!" The voice was of Ken Ewers, who'd just met his new room-mate, Mel. Ham threw a Mel's missing body part at Ken, annoyed at the Humans complaining. Ham looked over to see Mendal sitting up, a large, red lump upon his head. "Mendal! Ham so happy Mendal alive!" The special super-mutant rushed over to his good friend, lifting him up off the floor and onto his feet. Grimm pointed to the bag in which Evan King was in, "He threw ball on your head. I got him with a gnome." Mendal was confused, not just because of the knock to the head, but confused by how you can get someone with a gnome. He decided not to ask.

Grimm scratched the back of his head. "There problem." He said, looking disappointed. Mendal still looked confused, he waited for an answer from Grimm, who was obviously dreading tell him. "One Human escape. We went to sleep, he vanished! Bowling man know something, he talk about 'Ian' and his family--", he was cut off by Evan, who was clearly annoyed by the mutant's stupidity. "Jesus Christ, you're as thick as brahmin dung on a hot summer's day in...Spain. Whatever. Not HIS family, THE family. Ian is the lad who's been taken, seen him talking to their leader, Vance, down by the river a few days ago. Think they've got a base down at Seneca Station." Grimm nodded, then punted Evan in the head with his huge foot, knocking him out once more. "He talk too much."

The three mutants came to the assumpition that this 'family' had taken Ian, and if they hadn't, it'd be more Humans to take home. Grimm also mentioned something he'd heard Evan say, about them being armed with rifles and other weapons. For a moment or two, Mendal disappeared into Evan's house, before returning with a few boxes and some firearms. "Rocket shooter?!" Exclaimed Ham, his face lit up, only to be disappointed when he was given a 10mm SMG and some ammo. "Why rockets so small?" He got no reply, even Grimm knew that they weren't rockets. Mendal took the assault rifle for himself and a whole load of 5.56mm ammo. Grimm was left with the hunting rifle and a belt of grenades. They looked a force to be reckoned with...Apart from Ham with his bucket helmet and an upside down SMG.

They set off for Northwest Seneca Station, north of Arefu. It didn't take the three mutants and Poochie to arrive at the metro tunnel. They wandered in, looking around for the family. All of a sudden, down the hallway, a door opened and a ghoul holding a loaded assault rifle. Immediatly, Grimm put a pull in his head with a well aimed shot from the hunting rifle. "Bad family, steal our Human!" He laughed as the man hit for the. Mendal rubbed the back of his head as a voice called out. "Holy crap, you just dropped Barrett. H-Hey, don't shoot, I'm not part of The Family." Murphy, a Ghoul scientist wandered out from the open door, hands up in the air. Grimm raised his rifle to pop Murphy's head, but Mendal told him to stop. "Who you and where are the family?"

"Oh god, Barrett, goddamnit. I-I'm Murphy, just a simple scientist. The Family? They, oh god, they live...East of here, but there's a manhole in the backroom that'll lead you...It's a bit too smal--" Ham charged through, happy he'd be able to get to the Family even quicker, sending chemicals flying, smashing test tubes and knocking Murphy to the ground. After ripping the door from its hinges, Ham removed the manhole cover and tried to climb down; He instantly met with a problem. His thigh, let alone his body, was too big for the small access point. "Ugh! Ham's leg stuck. Stuck!" He called out, Poochie let out what sounded like a sigh. Underneath, a mirelurk heard the commotion and wandered over, seeing the mutant's leg hanging down. "Food!" and instantly, it gripped it's claw onto the mutant's leg and tried to rip a nice chunk of green meat from him.

"AAAH!" He called out, waving his leg around, kicking the mirelurk off. Sadly, the commotion brought more mirelurks to his leg and they all began trying to get a piece of him. "Help! Help! Crabmen eating leg, aah!" Grimm and Mendal rushed in, crushing Murphy against the wall, they gripped an arm each, pulling him out of the whole and onto the floor. They brought him out into the metro, to give him space. "You doctor, help Ham's leg!" Growled Grimm as Murphy began to breath again. "I'm a scien--" He stopped, understanding that the mutant probably didn't know the difference between an astronaut and a postman. He rushed into the back room, recovering his first aid kid before dashing out to Ham.

He pulled out a stimpack from the small box and some bandages, jabbing the stimpack into his leg then wrapping the bandages around the bleeding wound. "There...He's all good now. So...You guys gonna leave me to my work now?" Mendal looked down at Murphy, realising that he could be handy as a medic. "No. You come with us. Show us where the family is, heal us when we need. We protect you." The poor Ghoul had no choice, if he refused, he'd be killed. "Alright, alright. Let me gather some stuff..." He walked into his makeshift lab, grabbing some stuff, including a sawn-off shotgun, muttering to himself, "Stupid freakin` giants, always pushing us ghouls around, grr. Damnit Barrett." Upon hearing Barrett's name, Ham reached out for the downed Ghoul's body, taking his assault rifle and strapping it to his back, smiling. "Bigger missile thrower."

Sorry I haven't updated this in awhile, I haven't been feeling in the trio mood. Nevertheless, I'll give it a shot now.

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Chapter Two
Blood's Thicker Than F.E.V. - Part Two

With an unwilling Murphy in tow, the group exited Northwest Seneca Station, only to be confronted by a group of three men. They looked pretty tough, but were suprised by the appearance of the misfit group. The leader, whom was standing closest to the gate, lifted his hat from his face and rubbed his eyes. "You ain't that Vault 101 kid, huh?" He stuttered slightly, his outstretched laser pistol shaking as he spoke. Unfortunately for the regulators, the Mutants hadn't eaten in a fair amount of time and the regulators, despite their grizzled looks and tough clothing, would make a good meal, or so Ham thought. The largest mutant gripped the Regulator, lifting him into the air. "Holy [censored], they got the boss. Run!" The other two ran, leaving the captured Regulator behind. "H-Hey, lets not be hasty..." It was too late, Ham had made up his mind. "NOM NOM NOM."

They left the area, heading for Meresti Trainyard, the headless Regulator with them, Murphy wasn't impressed by the dead body, Poochie on the other end, was delighted, chomping away on the exposed flesh. After a short trek through the wastelands, the party arrived at Meresti trainyard. Murphy looked around anxiously, not really wanting to get involved with this fight. He was certain the Mutants couldn't win, but then again, if he were to back out now, he'd probably end up as dog excrements, not a pleasant thought. He lead them inside, opening the door into the dark metro tunnels. Ham took point, and again, ran into trouble. Well, stood on trouble. "Ouch, feets hurt!" He'd managed to stand on a beartrap...And a second one. Both his feet were encased in cold, serrated teeth. "Get off, get off!" He began running around, restricted by the chains. Due to his excess movement, he fell, straight on his face. "Ham sad." Murphy sighed, muttering about his thick skulled companions. He pointed to Grimm, speaking in simple terms to help him understand. "You. Grab both sides of the trap. Pull away from his leg. Hold it open, let him move the leg. Then do the same with the other. Ok?" Grimm nodded, understanding (most of it) what he had to do. Firstly, however, he ended up pushing the trap deeper into Ham's foot, "Oops."

From then on, Murphy decided to lead, sporting the laser pistol which once belonged to the Regulator in his hand. "Eh...I don't like the look of that." He gestured to the pram, and it's contense. A head, a clock and what appeared to be plastic explosives. "Stand back...Lemme fix this obstacle." He knelt down, picking up a bent tin can from the floor. Moving backwards to avoid the blast, he threw it at the pram, triggering a high pitched whine, followed by an explosion. "That was a close one, eh?" Nobody was listening, Grimm was too busy stomping on the baby's head which had flown at him. "Demon baby! Demon!" Murphy simply buried his hand in his hand. After an ample amount of crushing, Grimm declared himself the master of the baby, picking up the head and putting it on his belt, along with the broken gnome that took down Evan King.

Once Ham had been shot by baseballs and bludgeoned by the carcass of a Brahmin, the team saw a sentry. He didn't look impressed in the slightest by the ragtag group of mutants. "What the hell do you want? This is the Family's turf. Go away, freaks." Ham frowned, or at least tried to, it was pretty hard to move his face under all the tightly pinned back, leather skin. He managed to pull a weird sort of angry face at the sentry, who turned around and puked at the horrific sight. "Oh god, that's bad." Murphy said, holding his hand over his mouth and backing away. Ham threw his assault rifle at the sentry, clobbering him in the back of the head, causing him to fall face first into his own vomit, KOed. Murphy looked back, seeing what the mutant had done. "You know...You could of shot him." Ham tilted his head to the side, looking confused. "You know...Shooting? Pull the trigger?" Ham scratched his head. "...Make gun go boom boom." Ham's face lit up, looking at Murphy. "How Ham make boom boom?" The Ghoul started to explain, but then decided it was probably safer that he didn't know. "I'll tell you later, now, we've gotta get in there and take out the family."

As a team, they rushed into the Family's hideout, apart from Poochie who was left chewing on the sentry. As they ran in, Murphy began blind firing with his laser pistol, missing his targets but managing to take out one of the lights, raining sharps of glass on the floor. Mendal followed in a close second, strafing with his assault rifle, unleashing a hail of hot lead on Alan, who recieved a fair amount of bulletholes. Grimm ran out from the doorway, sliding to a stop as he took aim with his hunting rifle. He popped Alan's head like a rip melon and then darted in to cover. Finally, Ham rolled through the door, holding his SMG upside down, he began aiming around randomly, calling out, "Pew pew pew!" The Family went to shoot him, but stopped, watching the mutant shoot them. Justin began to snigger as he watched the mutant continue his charade. The rest of Ham's friends would of taken the opportunity to finish off the Family, but were too stunned by their ally. "Pull the [censored] trigger!" Hissed Murphy, pointing towards the rusted piece of metal near Ham's finger. The mutant listened to Murphy, pulling hard on the trigger. Instantly, he took down both Karl and Justin with his spray of ill aimed bullets, then ran back into cover.

The Family decided enough was enough and began pounding the attacker's cover of an old train. "What now, Murph?" Asked Mendal, unsure of what to do in this situation. The Ghoul peaked around the corner of the train, only to retreat back as bullets seared past. He looked over to Grimm, who had a belt of grenades strapped to him. "You there, Grime or whatever, throw a grenade over the train, get it as far as you can, ok? Then we it explodes, Mendal, you follow me and provide me with cover, alright?" Murphy had a plan, but first, he had to get closer to the shop. "Now!" Called the Ghoul, getting ready to run for it. Grimm popped a grenade and waited for the explosion...A few minutes past, nothing happened. Murphy looked over his shoulder, eyeing Grimm slowly. "You did pull the pin, didn't you?" Grimm looked blankly at him, "Pin?" For not the first time that day, Murphy face palmed. "You pull the freakin` pin, then it goes boom, k?" Grimm nodded, pulling out another grenade, pulled the pin and threw it...The pin that was. "No! Don't throw the p-- Quick, just throw the [censored] 'nade!" Grimm hurled the cooked grenade over the train, nailing Brianna in the nose and exploding. Mendal and Murphy made a break for it, dashing towards the shop, Mendal firing up the towards Vance and his wife, missing completely but it did pin them down.

Murphy slid behind the cover of the shop walls, narrowly missing a well aimed shot from Holly's 10mm pistol. Mendal also slid into cover, but not on purpose, he managed to stand on one of Brianna's kidneys and slide behind a worktop. Murphy wasted no time and began to take what he needed. "Alright. That fire extinguisher...That frag mine, oh and those grenades." Quickly, he began to create a strange sort of missile, equipped with a proximity detenator. He ran out of cover, smashing the end of the extinguisher off and releasing the makeshift missile, sending it twisting and bending at Vance. "Oh snap--" Vance dived out the way, leaving his wife's face to take the impact, and the explosion. Murphy had dived behind the workbench along with Mendal. Grimm and Ham came out from cover, moving up to meet Mendal and Murphy who had risen. "Haha! Murphy smart, Murphy did good job." Grimm patted his Ghoul friend on the back, perhaps a bit too eagerly and took him down. The happiness didn't last for long as the sound of an engine of sorts revving up was heard, followed by a scream and the sight of Vance diving down at Mendal, flaming blade in hand...

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Dum dum dum! Stay tuned for the next...Grimm, Mendal and Ham! *Epic music begins to play*

I don't think I've found another Super Mutant story. Or a funny one, for that matter. G'job, good read!

Wow, this is turning out to be a bit bigger than just a short story.
Nice one Ribbotson!

I lol'd at the whole grenade scenario. He throws the first grenade, but doesn't pull the pin. He then throws the pin of the second grenade, before throwing the grenade, hilarious.

I'm starting to really love this ill-fated group :lmao: They're just so hopelessly clueless and it's cute. Then the unnecessary violence is good, too

@ Nuclear; I know, strange huh? Such an unexploited tap of laughs.
@ Lavanoth; I blame Kik! That horrid person made that topic and I was hooked.
@ Argonian; I can't remember where I got the inspiration for that from...Hm.
@ Kik: Oh...You're here. >_> RUN. Is unnecessary violence EVER bad? Hm?

Got a title for the first chapter; Out of the Vat and into the Wasteland. Influence obviously from "Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire", seems to fit. Also, for all you readers, should I get rid of Murphy, or do you think he deserves a spot in our little ragtag group of misfits?

Part Three of Chapter two will probably come tomorrow.

Keep Murphy. I love his reactions when someone does something really stupid. Plus, they have a higher chance of actually succeeding with him there

True, true. I think Murphy'll stay then. I'm trying to think of other possible members for the group. A centaur perhaps? Patches the Centaur...Now with added slime, *Cheesey wink and thumbs up.* Oh I can just imagine it now. Patches meets Murphy. Patches falls in love. Murphy tries to run. Young love (well, presumably old due to their genetic makeup).

Oh dear :rofl:

"Aaaugh! Keep your tongue..tentacle.. things offa me!"

This is what fanfiction is all about. High Praise! :wave:

Very nice. Gotta hand it to you, you took a strange topic and made it awesome. Congrats. I would offer criticism, but I'm dead tired and have PMs to answer. But I'll keep up.

Ok, lets get the next part going. ^_^

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Chapter Two
Blood's Thicker Than F.E.V. - Part Three

Mendal looked up, his gaze was met by the flaming edge of Vance's sword. "Ugh?!" Mendal covered his head, bracing for the impact of the mighty blade. Yet, there was no impact, at least on Mendal. Poochie the wonderdog had barrelled over the work bench, diving straight into the side of Vance and knocking him into the wall. "S-Stupid dog!" The leader sent a kick straight into the dog's jaw, giving an audiable crunch as the dog slid along the floor, motionless. "Poochie?!" Ham cried out, tears welling up in his eyes. His tone changed from sorrow to pure anger in a flash as he turned to Vance, screaming. "Ham CRUSH silly man!" The mutant raised his foot, stomping upon Vance's body, crushing his ribcage. Ham didn't stop there, he continued pounding the Human's body, before picking it up and hurling it against the wall; Vance was dead.

Murphy was already down by the side of Poochie, examining the dog. "Haha! He's alive. In pretty bad shape, but alive." Ham proceeded to dance The Happy Dance whilst Murphy carried on givng him the once over. Mendal on the other hand walked over to Vance, taking his flaming sword from him. "Mine now." He smiled, trying to fit the gas tank on his back, but failed. So instead, he simply hung it over his head and walked up the escalator. "I will find Cannibal." He walked off, leaving the others to loot what was in the base. Ammo, some food and for Poochie, a stimpack or two. While he was now healed, he was in no fit state to be walking, so Ham picked up the hero in his arms, carrying and rocking gentley.

Grimm, Mendal and Murphy stood outside Ian's holding cell, waiting. Murphy began to whisper the plan to both Grimm and Mendal. "Aight...I'll go in and get 'im out. Say I'm here to help. Then...You bag him!" He pointed to Grimm, the mutant nodded and the plan was set into action. After hacking the terminal, Murphy opened the door and walked in. "Hey...Lets get outta here! Those guys were gonna eatcha`." Ian looked around bemused deciding there was no point staying if they were dead anyway. He got up and followed Murphy out. Woosh, the bag fell over him...Him being Murphy. "You freakin` moron! Its me, Murphy. Jesus FREAKIN` Christ!" Grimm took the bag of Murphy whilst Mendal captured a very confused Ian. The Ghoul went the scould Grimm, but sighed, waving his hand, "Fergetit." He walked off, the two mutants and Ian in tow. "Ok, greenies. So you got more people, right? Where are they?" The mutants looked around each other, their faces equally bewildered. "Ya` gotta be kidding me...You left your captives, and you forgot where?!" Murphy walked around, fuming for a minute or two before Mendal piped up. "On a bridge with houses near here!" The mutant seemed happy for himself having remember the location.

"Well done, ya` wanna medal or what? Lets get going to Arefu, c'mon." Leading the pack, Murphy set off to Arefu. The trip longer than expected due to several encounters with underequipped Raiders, but on the brightside, it meant Poochie was able to keep his strength up. Back at Arefu, they found their captives still there. "Hey, hey! Over here! Help us!" Called out Evan King having heard nearby movement. "Shut up!" Yelled Grimm, laughing at the captured man. "Why you..." For once, Evan King had run out of insults and just gave up. "Grab the Humans, we go back to Vault now." Each Mutant loaded up with people and set off to Vault 87 and hopefully a rest. Murphy walked on, sniffing the air. There was a strange, rotten sort of smell. It was pugent, even for the Ghoul. "What the hell is that? One of you guys drop some gas or what?" Ham looked over his shoulder at the dripping bag he was carrying. "It Mel. He been in back for long time. Maybe other man and women in there scared and make toilet?" Ham sniffed again slowly, smiling when he turned around. "Ham right."

When they made it to Vault 87, they knew something was wrong, they could feel it...And see it; The sentry's head of pinned to the wall by a spike of sorts. "Oh...This looks bad." Murphy took point once more, examining the mess inside. "Not nice at all." Through the halls they wandered, it wasn't unusual for them to be covered in blood and gore but, not this much and it wasn't Human gore, it was bits of their fellow mutants. As they made it deeper into the Vault, they found Grish on the floor, barely alive. His arm was pinned to the wall as he coughed up blood. "Grish! What happened?" Mendal looked down at him, he was in a right state. "Man come...Blue suit with 1, 0 and 1 on that back. He kill everyone, freed Fawkes. They look for...GECK? Then they go away, but men in steel suit come kidnap them. I only survivor..." Grish then slumped down, dead.

Murphy's eyes opened wide; He had heard something. He stood behind a corner, waiting for whatever it was to come down the corridor. "Now Murphy now!" Laser pistol in hand, he moved out from the corner and aimed down the hall. To his suprise, it was a centuar. The centuar, uh, sat (?) there, looking up at Murphy with a loving gaze. Murphy returned the gaze, his eyes open and his face twisted in disgust. He looked over his shoulder, calling to the others, "What tha` hell is this thing?!" Whilst he was slightly distracted, the love-crazed Centuar made its move, lunging at Murphy. With its deformed body, it took the Ghoul down, lieing on his chest. It began to lick his face relentlessly with the three slimey tounges protruding from its mouth. "Patches!" Grimm walked over and rubbed the Centuar's head, smiling. "Patches went in Eff-Ee-Vey with us. Think was a cat...Or somethin`. What a cat?" Grimm began to ponder for a moment, as Murphy was wrestling with its tounges. "I don't care what it is! Get your slimey tounges...Tenatcles...WHATEVA`s offa me!"

===

Hurrah for Patches, the newest member of the group. Future Casanova eh?

Yay licking!

But now what shall they do?! Those three on the loose.. yikes. Poor Murphy.

I'm thinking of having the group follow the Vault 101'er as he does various quests and then mess up what hes fixed.

I can't wait for more adventures of Ham and Poochie.

Oh yeah, definitely do that! That sounds like it'd be great. Only they're not messing things up on purpose, they're just trying to track the Vaultie down to.. smash him or eat him or whatever for killing their brothers. It just so happens that along the way, they managed to totally screw everything up that they come across, mostly on accident.

Yup. And when it comes to an end (which it will have to ), they'll have an epic, hilarious fight with the Dweller. Or maybe, I'll include a twist.

Why not do both! Have an epic battle that ends with a twist! That sounds fun.

Plus I can't get the mental image out of my mind of the story ending with them all walking off into the sunset and Murphy shouting, "Seriously, stop it!"

HAHAHAh......oh man.....patches....now all they need is a pack brahmin with 2 personalities, the frightened female head and the fierce male head... one looks away as the other bites peoples heads off.


Fluffy and killer


For added laughs, have them get the names mixed up, calling the dangerous head fluffy, etc