I have a friend who works at a Gamestop. In my dream Skyrim had already shipped, but weren't up for sale yet. Luckily, this friend sold me one anyway, because in dream land legalities are an afterthought. I ran home as fast as I could, got to my TV, stuck the game disk in and turned on the Xbox. Instead of the usual click-click HUMMM I got a sound like a chorus was starting up. "Holy crap" I thought, "This is going to be awesome, they even got rid of the usual hardware noise." (Hardware limitations also don't exist in dream-world.) The screen jumped to life, and I saw a beautifully rendered ethereal fog. After a moment I realized it was parting, or I was moving through it, and on the other side was the firmament, every start twinkling and lighting up my room. Lines began to be drawn between certain stars and I understood that they were tracing the star signs of the game. But, before the lines could finish, the game slowly panned downward and I saw Nirn in all of its majesty. I could see Tamriel, and Akavir as clearly as if they were NASA photographs. Then, like a roller coaster, the game shot me downwards towards Skyrim, it slowed as it hit the surface, and the camera traced a lazy, winding circle around a mountain as the Title materialized. I selected new game, and everything faded to black.

But, then... Then this gigantic penis swooped in from the distance and appeared to collide with the inside of the TV screen. It looked painful. I thought it was over, and that the game would let me start playing, but no. It started trying to escape the confines of the TV and get into the real world. It beat itself against the screen, it tried tunneling out, and it even looked like it was throwing a tantrum for a little while as I stared in utter bewilderment. Eventually, I think I started crying in the dream because I just had no idea what was going on. Eventually, this dong started to make this high-pitched whining noise, I thought it was crying because it was trapped in my TV. Thankfully, the whining was just my room mate's alarm, which woke me up. So, in short, I am terrified of actually getting Skyrim now, for fear that it will just be a tallywacker in my TV.

That is so strange....

LOL wtf did i just read???

*Holds in laughter*

:rofl: One of the funniest things I've read today.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Too bad you didn't dream about cigars.

Wonderful

I think your depiction of the intro of Skyrim is amazingly beautiful, I would love to see what you wrote become reality.
Up to a certain point in the story, that is.
When I select new game I really would want the character creation screen pop up and then the prison/ tutorial thing.
Up to a certain point in the story, its an amazing vision.

Wake up Mr. Freud, you're needed.

the second paragraph i just laughed so hard "It beat itself against the screen, it tried tunneling out, and it even looked like it was throwing a tantrum for a little while as I stared in utter bewilderment." :rofl:
The funniest post ive seen in a while.

I.. just died, of laughter.. as did my whole family.. I read it aloud...... okay... can we replace all the Attribute threads with this? Please? :rofl:

Dude, wat.

Best. Thread. Ever. LOL
I am screencapping this, for nostalgia-LOLing, a few years from now...

WTF i can't stop laughing LOLOLOL.

Uploaded this to FunnyJunk :disguise:

Haha you sir should work for Bethesda, that would be the funniest intro ever !

your friend at gamestop was probably a very good modder

Now i wont be able to get the faint background image of a giant [censored] when i first start up Skyrim.
Thanks OP.

omg, you made my day, when my brother wakes up i am having him read this and hoping he laughs as hard as i did, i really hope this wasnt a made up dream just to get laughs, that way its much funnier , If your friend ever offers you skyrim in real life, make sure you turn it down =p.

I'm guessing you have a MAC

What I am reading is perfectly normal.

Dreaming about gigantic pencses?

Hmmm...
;)

Learn how to lucid dream, then you can play Elder Scrolls XIII.

As I qualified psychologist, I'd say this dream clearly shows you spend too much time on the Besthesda forums, and gay porm sites.

(I'm not a qualified psychologist)

I also had a dream a while ago about Skyrim, but this one had multiplayer, so I guess they were equally as bad

I would fear for the poor guy if that was a lucid dream.