I have not heard those things from a Doctor.

However, I smiled when I read the Topic. 2 things came to mind about what a Doctor might say to a patient:

1) "Oops!"

2) "What the HELL is that?!?"

The Doctor, House, Dr. Phil (reality, questionable at best), Some of the professors from Half-Life? They probably have a PhD in something. The Mad Dok from Dawn of War?

Hint: It's the Doctor that would be able to tell my future and explain it in some timey-wimey-wibbly-wobbly way.

Of course... Dr. Seuss.

The EMH in a weird episode of Voyager?

Strangelove?

Computers and video games aren't "bad." Some side-effects of spending a lot of time with computers/video games can be bad if you over-do it.

I find it rather annoying when people like doctors talk down to people like that. Saying that video games are bad is like saying that water is bad because you can drown in it.

Why can't we all be like uncle Ozzy Osbourne? SOB bit a bat and didn't contract nothing.

That may be due to the unique composition of his bloodstream. Unfortunately, one cannot even try to replicate it without breaking various laws...