» Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:56 pm
I've been "in love" and had crushes so many times that I don't really believe in it. Those butterfly feelings only last a couple of years at most, anyway.
That's what I told the vicar when he asked if we were ready to get married: that I thought it would last not because we loved each other, but because we liked each other. We're just best friends who happen to be attracted to each other.
Ten years on from when we first started dating, I don't get that falling-down-an-elevator feeling when he kisses me. I don't sit there fretting about whether he's going to email me at work, or open his messages with my fingers trembling. Then again, I'm not constantly paranoid or worried that I'll say or do the wrong thing. I don't have to stare at the telephone, willing it to ring. So, from that angle, our relationship is very different to what it was a decade ago. You could say that those feelings you associate with "being in love" are long gone.
On the other hand, are we happy together? Yes. Would I prefer to be with someone else? No. Do I look forward to seeing him every day? Yes. Do we still get on as well as best friends? Yes. Do we still fancy each other? Yes. I still smile when I think of him, so you could say that we're still as in love as ever.
I think True Love is Westley and Princess Buttercup in The Princess Bride. Real love is Miracle Max and Valerie, fifty years later.