So, it is a long story. I had a girlfriend, we had this relationship that lasted two years, we broke up quite well, no fights and no bad feelings, we still being quite close friends. So, time passed and she started meeting this guy, a "rockstar" wannabe guy who were into drugs (even heavy drugs) and she started telling that she could change him, she would make him a better person, thing is: as a friend, I told her to stay away from this guy. Well, of course she didn't. It was two months ago. We kept talking and it has been a while since she spoke about him, I found it strange but didn't say anything about it. Now comes the part that is really killing me: I am a person who is VERY hard to gain trust. It takes a lot of time until I can trust someone and all my friends knows how I am, if you break this trust, you will never have it again and probably will lose a lot of my friendship. So today I was doing my daily running to lose weight and saw her drinking wine and smoking cigars (things she never did before, I remember she telling me that hates the smell of the smoke) and then I went to her house and spoke to her, she lied to me. I gave her my full trust and she just lied at my face. we had some sort of discussion and now I am very very sad. I don't know why, but I thought about seeking guidance here :/

She is the oldest friend I have and probably the only person I would literally do anything for, not because she once was my girlfriend because even before that I already had such feelings for her and she already hung out with some other guys.

Am I exagerating?

svcks to hear dude, but there's not much you can do besides what you did. It's up to her to figure out she is making a mistake, sometimes people have to make the mistake before they learn anything. It svcks she betrayed your trust, but you might just have to leave her be and let her figure it out on her own.
Everyone has to figure out how to drive their own badass self.

It sounds like she was the one who became changed, rather than changing him though.
It's usually never good going into a relationship expecting you're gonna change a disfunctional person.

Some women are just like that though, hell even my mom told me the other day that she isn't even interested in a guy unless they have some sort of drinking or drug problem, and it took her decades to realize that.

I don't know what to say though, just try to be her friend, express your concerns in a healthy matter, but don't push them on her, you might drive her away.
She might have to fall down figuratively before she realizes the wisdom of your words.

Just try not to be too angry with her, who knows what's going through her head. Hopefully it all works out for you dude.

She turned you into her beta orbiter. You're nothing but a source of validation for her at this point.

Either cut her out of your life, or persist in the doomed world you have created for yourself.

I never understood why some women think this, "Oh he's a bad boy and I can change him." in the end they're the ones who end up changing and not for the better. My advise for the OP pretty much what Anthortis said, she's walked down this path and is only using you, best to cut her from your life and move on.

This is sage advice, OP. You should take it.

Oh I know, I cut ties with her. Explained the situation and said that when she bashes her face against the wall she better not come after my advice.

Well, thanks buds.

Wise choice... (and for god sake, don't look back)

Just make a new relationship, you don't wanna such kinds of problems in your head...believe me. !!!

Everyone makes his own choices, and you should make your own.

Good Luck, and take care of yourself. !!!

Well that is heartening. Someone with a 'personal problem' post solved their own problem.

Good man.

As others have said, and I know this is easier said than done, either walk away or watch on the sidelines in misery.

The only person who can change anyone is that one person. She has changed, not her "boyfriend." If she does not see that, or want to, there is nothing you can do. This is one of the hardest parts of life, watching someone you care about slowly slip away...

Best of luck in whatever you do

Sorry to hear that, buddy. Really svcks I wish I knew what you should do but I don′t.

The only thing I can say is everyone makes their choices. You can only ever give your opinion and advice, whether they follow it is up to them. I hope she comes around and realizes what she′s doing.

Good luck

sounds like she lied to you cause you're the sort of dude to make a post on a gaming forum criticising people for smoking, drinking and taking drugs.

tbh i dont understand why this is a big deal to you, why does it matter that she smokes now?

99% sure it's a thing everyone does. I did it, thinking I could change someone. Baaaad idea.

I didn′t try to change my her per say, however I thought I could reach her via good influences. Didn′t work either.

If you would "literally do anything for" her... let it go. Drinking wine and smoking a cigar isn't a big deal, and if she knows that you're so adamantly against it, I can totally see why she'd lie to you. You didn't catch her shooting heroin with a needle she found in the dumpster or something.

If her drinking, smoking, and not telling you about it is a big deal, then dump her as a friend. Neither you nor her are going to benefit from lying and being angry at each other. You can't tell people what to do, even if they're your friends, and its up to each individual to decide what is a good life for them. Sometimes that involves making mistakes, but they have to be the ones to decide that it's a mistake, not you.

To be honest, dude, this kind of stuff doesn't make me think you were a very good friend to begin with. "Do everything I say or don't come to me when something doesn't go your way" isn't how healthy relationships work.

people change man, smoking and drinking aren't something to get upset about. I'd recommend in the future not judging your friends too much or you'll end up losing most of them :/. Let your friends be themselves and just don't go around them when they're drinking or ask them not to smoke around you (within reason)