I read a http://www.computerandvideogames.com/ article (British gaming mag that I've been buying for years) in an old issue once. It was concerning girlfriends and their lack of love for all things games. Some freelance writer had contributed. It went along the lines of: If you can't get her onto games (which let's face it is pretty hard) get her into your games...

"What did he say do again?"

I wasn't listening.

"Can't understand this... here we go." *listens, plays, forgets* "Where..."

He said you have to find the key by solving puzzles or something in the third room.

"Which room?"

The third.

"This one?"

No... I think he meant that one there.

"Aaah thank God you're paying attention..."

*pays more attention having one upped you, and having scored some bragging rights*

- lol, works better for the world of consoles all cozy in the livingroom. On PC you're pretty much screwed.

Sorry! I've seen people give advice like that so it's hard to tell it's a joke :banghead:




God, me and my husband do this all the time.

"There he is, over there!"

"OH MY GOD HEALING ITEM HEALING ITEM"

"That's the bump strip, love."

Etc.

get her into gaming
sparta Kick her in the face
take away whatever she enjoys doing
get her into gaming

He'll have more success if he leaves out options #2 and #3. Trust me on this one.

OP: Has your wife ever seen The Sims? Maybe she'd like that game?

Ask her why she doesn't want you to play video games. Just listen to her. Without getting ready to relay your position, just listen. Then tell her you'll think about it. Next day tell her why you like to play video games. From there you have a dialogue. You both have expectations of how the married relationship would be and if you want to stay together you need to have good communication.

Murder answers everything.

1.divorce it worked wonders for me
2.get her own PC or console
3.bribe with gifts and a good night out
4.be a man and tell her to bugger off while you are playing Fallout 3
5.Gunmaster95 has answered that one

Smack da hoe cross da mouf

Okay, I'll be honest and give some real advice. I agree with everyone who says to introduce her to gaming. As has been mentioned, The Sims might be a good place to start, but you know her best, so you probably have a better chance of choosing something she might actually like. Oblivion is a good choice as well and you can get her tons of clothing mods if she likes playing dressup (I am so guilty of this). You could also get a console and introduce her to gaming that way. Even my parents, who are almost in their 60s now, like playing Wii Sports. A Wii might just be the thing to help introduce her, and they're not too expensive, either (if building her a PC is a bit too pricey). There's some other great games on the Wii that she might like (it really is a very friendly platform for introducing people to video games). I don't think introducing her directly to FO3 is a good idea since someone who has never played videogames in their life might have trouble getting into it. You have to start out small and friendly (I only say Oblivion because it can be a pretty easy, friendly game and the fantasy setting helps.. for some people, FO3 is too "real").

Stay up late and play your game while she sleeps. Separate rooms. Every time she does something to relax, go ahead and make her feel bad for it, tit for tat. Maybe she'll learn to leave you alone.

The problem with marriage is women know they have you by the sack. You can't divorce them because they take half of everything, plus alimony on top of that. If you have kids, child support will make sure you'll be poor the next 20 years. Whatever random guy she sacks up with will get to see your kids more than you, spend your money, live in your house, and she won't complain about his gaming time! After all, he's in a position to leave whenever he wants.

All this crap about being nice and trying to understand where she's coming from is wife propaganda. They don't live by those rules, but demand men be caring and understanding.

All this introduce her to gaming stuff is suspect, she can't flay Fallout with you and if she's playing Sims for hours on end you won't be playing Fallout.

I have no advice for you, marriage is a mistake that can't be fixed. Still, living in a cheap hotel with your console as company isn't so bad, is it?

Aren't we a happy little ray of sunshine? Shall I rattle off a list of male stereotypes for you to refute? I'm sure that there's a few that don't describe you, yet with what you've already said, I should feel free to say them.

They may not be able to play Fallout as a multiplayer game but they can certainly play together. Believe it or not, some couples have side by side computers so they can game together. My husband often plays a different game while I am playing Fallout 3. Sometimes I watch his game and cheer him on, sometime he watches me and cheers me on in mine, sometimes we're both in our own little gaming worlds. Fallout 3 is not a game only men play or enjoy. Not by a long shot.

Agreed

Given that the majority of people you're asking on here for advice is teenagers, I'd say you're better off shooting yourself in the foot

Exactly. My husband and I do that all the time. I'll go over to his computer to watch him play games and cheer him on. Sometimes he'll play them on the projector and it's fun to watch (and I seem to be better at keeping track of healthbars )

I certainly love this game and the last time I checked, I was a woman. Maybe that changed overnight or something?




So true. I keep forgetting that. It's a little odd to me because I can still remember when I was the teenager on the forums (and was just as idiotic)

I know you already got that all sorted out, but I just wanted to state that I didn't see him once say he was proud of anything in his sentence, since a whole debate got started over that.

And Good God, please do not take any advice you've gotten here thus far Alowen. I'm 19 years old, and even I know that every single suggestion here besides "You're better off shooting yourself in the foot than taking advice here" is junk. The man obviously has a wife who doesn't like gaming in general, and so all those who said get her into gaming that just won't work. My ex-girlfriend used to come over my house and even though she'd be tired from college/work and fall asleep for a while on my bed, she STILL got mad when I turned on the Xbox while she napped. I tried getting her into some games but she just kept saying she couldn't understand and didn't want to play anything. Indiana Jones worked for a while on co-op but that soon died too. Gifts are a temporary solution, once the initial feeling of gratitude wears off it'll be the same thing all over again. So no offense to all those who were just trying to help, I just think this is something he needs to find out on his own.

So here's what I suggest you do. TALK to the woman. She apparently wants to spend time with you, which is a good thing, so next time she tells you not to play Fallout ask her what she wants to do instead. Then ask her sometime, when will she be okay with you playing the game, because you guys have to compromise somehow. And I'm sure you didn't spend hundreds of dollars on the console/computer just to let it collect dust. Best of luck man.

I know a guy who's wife would call himFROM WORK to make sure he wasn't gaming. That's BS.

Regardless of my tongue-in-cheek previous response ( ), here is my understanding and background: I am divorced, was married for 20 years. Your woman wants to be with YOU, not you and your game. You need to compromise. After all, if you're not with HER, then there is no YOU AS A COUPLE. That being said, your partner must also understand that there are some activities and hobbies that he/she may not like in the other partner. Such is the nature of attraction, you have something different about you, and you are not the same as the person you are with. People tend not to understand another's draw to something unless it is explained to them. Why you love it, blah blah blah. Even then, some will still not be convinced of the value of your hobby. Just like you're not convinced that the book club she has with her friends, is not just a front for all the girls going out to the bar to commiserate and get hammered.
My ex never really understood my enjoyment for video games, paintball, carpentry or going out with my buds for alcohol... but she did understand that it was an opportunity for me to unwind and let loose, as long as it did not interfere with the marriage. And she was cool about that. As long as there is something meaningful and fulfilling that you BOTH enjoy together, can you also make your hobbies work for you.

i think for anyone to give any good advice or how to work it out you need to first explain why she dosnt like you playing games.

does she want you to do stuff her her instead? does she not like that its violent? or is she just a [censored] and dosnt like you having fun?

To be fair I think many of the responses were never intended to be genuine advice that he should take. Asking for help in a forum dedicated to gaming... you're gonna get a lot of advice from dedicated gamers. lol Most probably single and responding for the quick quip kudos. My g/f plays The Sims 2 / 3 so I'm all right... and she can spend hours doing so. I admit with shame that I actually got into them myself from a deviant standpoint. But gaming doesn't really get in the way of our relationship. I liken it to non-gamers and their apparent inability to tear themselves away from trash TV broadcasts when they have some free time. Be it soaps or sports or whatever.

It boggles my mind when we visit other couples and come to realise that they spend the majority of their time sitting in front of the TV being mildly engaged and entertained as their brains slowly rot. lol These are the people who grimace when you mention games and simply can't get their head around it. More often than not they're the types who tackle maybe one or two books a year, too. Whereas we're almost constantly in a book. So when asked by those types I compare it to TV, only, with interactive elements that can demand some thinking, critical, lateral... thinking! lol It can demand creativity (God games) imagination (The Sims) skill (FPSs) or a combination of the lot (RPGs). Which is why a trip to the movies can pale in comparison with firing up a new game for the first time.

My brother has been in a relationship with a gal who used to fit your girlfriend's description, for nearly two years now. They've just had a baby. I have a pic on my desktop of my nephew wearing a headset and holding a 360 controller, and he's looking a little bewildered. Aaah the uninitiated waiting to be filled with his dad's passion for games. Anyway, my brother's missus hated that he gamed a lot, but considering he was out on the town just about every weekend when she met him, always partying, when she complained about it to me I said, "At least you know where he is! He's not out on the town with ladies hanging off him like he used to be." First Christmas they spent together I got her a DS. He got her a Wii. lol Like, "Welcome to the family." I don't know anyone who has more consoles than my bro. Everything from Atari 2600 onward, still boxed... he has Mech Warrior controllers, ROB, NEO GEO... all this crap from decades of gaming. S'like... you knew he was into it when you started going out! She's gone some way to moulding him into her perfect man... but some things will stick. His is gaming. On the chart of what it could be instead... it's pretty forgivable. -_-

When we go 'round there now, when the baby is asleep... you'll generally find my bro playing on the 360 in the livingroom (Mass Effect at the mo) and she's on the DS or reading. The weird thing about people not into gaming is how they view it. This guy's wife might be fine watching him sit in front of a TV flicking fom garbage to garbage, never uttering a word about how he is doing it too often. But stick a console on the same TV and suddenly it's very weird. My step-dad couldn't get it... ex-Navy, ex-police... all about hard work, career... but his hobby, his passion, he loves all things WW2 oriented. Rots in front of the History Channel. (Gotcha!) He'd go on forever about how weird we all were for liking games. Me and my bro put to and bought him a 360 with a copy of IL-2 Stirmovik. *cups hand to ear for complaints from step-dad* Nothing. *watches his slack jawed expression as he guides a plane around the skies in a skirmish of the Battle of Britain* ... "Welcome to the family!"

Of course if you're over doing it on the games there's no excuse, and room for complaint. Meh. A healthy dose of other stuff makes them all the better I find. If those folks bent on generating mods of naked ladies and six additions got out a little more, I think we'd likely see less of it. ^_^

Haha yeah I get ya man. And I agree with the above statement as well as almost all of your reply. My girl would watch these really sickeningly stupid shows like "The Hills", and like most other girls she could text all day on a cellphone (which is virtually a mini computer nowdays). Yet when games are mentioned for some reason this "nerd" stigma is stuck in her head. It's pretty hypocritical. My dad is also Ex-Navy & Ex-Police Officer, and his passion now is his new Kawasaki ZRX1200. We all have our things don't we?

Use the Mesmotron!

Should have married someone with whom you shared some common hobbies.

I hear ya, man. FO3 is the first RPG I've played in *years* and am totally immersed in it. However, I have a 14 month old and another on the way, so time is a scarse resource.

My suggestion to you is to just explain to your wife how fun and important it is for you to have some "alone time". Set out a schedual ahead of time or something. I'll assume she has time to herself too (friends, shopping, whatever), so unless you're tasked with looking after kids (assuming you have any) take advantage of that.

What I've been doing and don't suggest, is playing when everyone's in bed. I mean really, how much sleep does one need?

Raise your Speech Skill and take the Lady Killer Perk.

IMHO its a more serious problem than Fallout 3. My first marriage ended not because of the computer, but because my ex would compete with the computer for my attention - the computer became competition. I have seen and heard of similar problems with other couples, and it can lead to a bad place unless you can address the problems. Now I really have NO idea what's going on in your situation, but in mine the core issue was jealously of my time on the computer = insecurities about our relationship or about herself. It often leads back to simple insecurities, and those can be fed by any number of issues.

I would recommend a good conversation with her about it, let her know how important the game time is to you and that you really don't want to compete between her and your PC. I would also recommend examining why she would feel this way, and try to address the core issue that makes her want to compete for your time on the PC. Perhaps communicating more about it will lead you to the real root causes, which can help both your relationship and your trigger-time in the wasteland.

Luck!

Miax