I've been trying for ages to purchase the house in Windhelm. The wiki says to complete Stormcloak missions to unlock the ability to do so. I did several, and the Jarl said to speak with his steward to arrange to buy a house. I did this, and the Steward said "There's been some unpleasantness- the house is unavailable". I went back to the Jarl to ask him "Wtf??" and he talked to me about becoming Thane. So I thought, "Ok, I must have to be a Thane to purchase the house." I did the assisting Eastmarch people 5 times, and it listed that objective as complete. I talk to the Jarl about becoming Thane, but there's no new speech option...
I go back to the Steward to see if anything's changed about the house,
"There's been some unpleasantness- the house is unavailable."
Okay....
HOW DO YOU GET THIS HOUSE???!!

I wouldn't touch the Windhelm house with a 10 foot pole anyways. There's a certain quest involved with it... it isn't pleasant.

name of quest? the one that is "unpleasant"?

There's a mission involved. Try going to the graveyard in windhelm.

I like the quest you do for the place....

All I did was the graveyard mission (at the start)

I've been there. Just gravestones. There aren't any questgiving people there, if that's what you mean.

It took a while for it to be there for me. I've literally just bought the house now after ages trying..... Have you done 'the white phial' mission? It came up after that for me.

Yes there is.

The guard who is investigating the scene gives a quest, you talk to the people there and then talk to him again.

Not sure how the whole quest goes, I bypassed almost all of it. If how I did it was the legit way that is a croc.

No, I haven't. The thing about this that makes me think it's a bug is that the Jarl specifically said there was a house available now, and that I should talk the the Steward. The Steward still continuously tells me about an "unpleasantness", which I apparently have no power to alter.

after 3 in-game days after first discovering windhelm a random occurence (a murder) while walking through the graveyard will take place

All I can suggest is completing 'the white phial'. If that doesn't work there's a couple of smaller quests down by the docks. Maybe if you do them the people will be in the graveyard. I done all them brfore there was anybody in the graveyard (and I checked the graveyard ALOT of times)

Well, I've been doing missions for Windhelm people for much more than 3 days. I keep checking the graveyard but there's never anything there. Is it really necessary to do this quest in order to get the house?

Ok, did the White Phial. I also talked to a bunch of new people and gave some guy an amulet he wanted. None of these things seems to have triggered the "Graveyard quest" that some of you are convinced is necessary. I've tried waiting around outside the city walls for days, then coming in and checking the graveyard. I tried waiting inside the city. I tried sleeping several nights in the inn. It just won't happen.