How are your knees? : V

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:40 am

So, since it seems that every guard in Skyrim has been handicapped at one point or another by an arrow to the knee, I propose either a mod or future patch inclusive or DLC or whatever.

There needs to be two things.

1, a wandering high level enemy named 'The Kneecapper' who wields a unique bow.

2, a unique bow carried by this guy also named 'The Kneecapper' that slows the opponent on hit. Also it should transform them instantly into a Whiterun guard and send them sprinting there, yelling "I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW IN THE KNEE"

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:07 pm

So, since it seems that every guard in Skyrim has been handicapped at one point or another by an arrow to the knee, I propose either a mod or future patch inclusive or DLC or whatever.

There needs to be two things.

1, a wandering high level enemy named 'The Kneecapper' who wields a unique bow.

2, a unique bow carried by this guy also named 'The Kneecapper' that slows the opponent on hit. Also it should transform them instantly into a Whiterun guard and send them sprinting there, yelling "I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW IN THE KNEE"

There's an NPC in Windhelm that used to be a guard but retired after getting hit by a sword in the chest. Seems like the big cycle of life in TES games

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:34 pm

Or we could meet up with the guards' cousins. They're all off fighting dragons, so they're probably pretty cool peeps.

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:57 pm

..I need the CS.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:15 am

He should also have a spell called 'Detect Cousin of Kneecapped Guard' to avoid disabling the cousins of the guards he has shot, because apparently everyone's freaking cousin is out fighting dragons.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:22 am

Oh this would be awesome... I definitely want to see something like this.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:47 am

Whiterun Guard- Someone stole my sweetroll!

I think I might just reverse pickpocket one, and then pickpocket it.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:13 am

So, since it seems that every guard in Skyrim has been handicapped at one point or another by an arrow to the knee, I propose either a mod or future patch inclusive or DLC or whatever.

There needs to be two things.

1, a wandering high level enemy named 'The Kneecapper' who wields a unique bow.

2, a unique bow carried by this guy also named 'The Kneecapper' that slows the opponent on hit. Also it should transform them instantly into a Whiterun guard and send them sprinting there, yelling "I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW IN THE KNEE"

i concur

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:20 pm

There's an NPC in Windhelm that used to be a guard but retired after getting hit by a sword in the chest. Seems like the big cycle of life in TES games

You're kidding. Well, just figured out what I'm doing tomorrow.

"I used to be quite the Adventurer, until I took an arrow to the knee. Then I became a guard. I used to be quite the guard until I get stabbed in the chest."

He should also have a spell called 'Detect Cousin of Kneecapped Guard' to avoid disabling the cousins of the guards he has shot, because apparently everyone's freaking cousin is out fighting dragons.

I'm laughing so much. Nobody in my house understands!

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:04 am

So, since it seems that every guard in Skyrim has been handicapped at one point or another by an arrow to the knee, I propose either a mod or future patch inclusive or DLC or whatever.

There needs to be two things.

1, a wandering high level enemy named 'The Kneecapper' who wields a unique bow.

2, a unique bow carried by this guy also named 'The Kneecapper' that slows the opponent on hit. Also it should transform them instantly into a Whiterun guard and send them sprinting there, yelling "I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER UNTIL I TOOK AN ARROW IN THE KNEE"

You haven't seen that guy? He is in game. He's up in the cloud district, but you probably don't get there much..

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:17 pm

You haven't seen that guy? He is in game. He's up in the cloud district, but you probably don't get there much..

hehehe^^

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:14 pm

Amusingly, I was flipping into 3rd person earlier today (seeing how some of the "clothes" options from the store in Solitude looked) and I realized.....

I had an arrow.

In my knee.

hmy:

:rofl:

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:53 am

*hides bow*

It's an...... uuuummmmmm.....

Mystery. Yeah.

*sprints off*

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:36 am

my knees arent the problem but lets just say my hero wont be leaving any descendants...

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:00 pm

Amusingly, I was flipping into 3rd person earlier today (seeing how some of the "clothes" options from the store in Solitude looked) and I realized.....

I had an arrow.

In my knee.

hmy:

:rofl:

That happend to me the very first time i heard a guard tell me that. Before, i noticed an arrow was stuck in my knee. Later, a guard told me he used to be an adventurer like me until he has an arrow in his knee. I went to third person and saw the arrow amd laughed so hard. I even created a topic on this forum about it. (that was like 3 weeks ago, so yeah)

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:41 am

Amusingly, I was flipping into 3rd person earlier today (seeing how some of the "clothes" options from the store in Solitude looked) and I realized.....

I had an arrow.

In my knee.

hmy:

:rofl:

I want to freeze time and put an arrow into EVERY Whiterun guards knee.

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 11:57 pm

You're kidding. Well, just figured out what I'm doing tomorrow.

"I used to be quite the Adventurer, until I took an arrow to the knee. Then I became a guard. I used to be quite the guard until I get stabbed in the chest."

I'm laughing so much. Nobody in my house understands!

^ :rofl: I'd have the same problem if my room wasn't out of ear shot of the living room I laugh so hard at a lot of these threads, jokes may not be intentional but damn a lot of the things people say crack me up. :wink_smile:

I agree with OP haha just don't let that knee caper hit you or you'll end up retiring early as a guard as well. Leaping atop dragons and smashing their heads in haha sure.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:34 pm

It's quite worrying that the security of these major cities is composed of the maimed relatives of the people who are actually cut out for protecting the masses. We're basically left with the drop-outs of the League of Dragonfighters, dimwitted oafs with their heads in the clouds, daydreaming about being the Dragonborn and wondering who stole their sweet roll. The kind of folk who are completely incapacitated if you so much as put a bucket over their heads. This strikes me as a problem.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:48 am

How...how can you all be so heartless ?!?

This is a very serious matter!

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 11:10 pm

How...how can you all be so heartless ?!?

This is a very serious matter!

Ha! Well played.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:02 am

The Kneecaper is clearly a hero or heroine. Thanks to him or her, our cities are safe. In fact, there is a Chapel of the Kneecaper in the Cloud District, but - Oh. What am I saying. You don't get there often.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:17 am

Yes pl0x

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:17 am

How...how can you all be so heartless ?!?

This is a very serious matter!

Speak of the Devil! How ya doin', buddy? Got any sweet rolls stolen lately? Look, I just wanted to let you know something: I've got the dragons covered. I'm all over that little issue, alright? Don't ask how, I just am. So why don't you, say, call your cousin back from his dragonfighting duties and have him give you a hand with the whole 'guarding' thing, eh? Atta boy.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:16 am

Well, considering I spend about 99% of the game in sneak mode, I'm surprised my knees still work in the first place, what with being hunched down the whole time.

I find myself sneaking across the street when I don't even have to.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:58 am

Well, considering I spend about 99% of the game in sneak mode, I'm surprised my knees still work in the first place, what with being hunched down the whole time.

I find myself sneaking across the street when I don't even have to.

You spend alot of time on your knees?