» Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:22 pm
''Mom, mom?'' I asked her a couple of times, but I noticed soon enough that she wasn't responding to me at all, not that I was expecting otherwise. She was still sleeping on the couch with bottles of wine next to her. Not one of them wasn't empty, and not one of them was older than just one day. I placed both my hands on her cold body, and started shaking her from side to side. Still hoping for a reaction. But it didn't bother.
''Mom!'' I screamed into her left ear, and I noticed she was waking up. I thought she might startle, but she seemed barely alive. Still not sober I think.
''Oh, it is my lovely Mope!'' she laughed.
''It's Hope, mom, I'm called Hope - remember?'' I noticed that my voice was almost begging her. I didn't know what I was begging for, and neither did she. She got up and took a seat in the old couch, which had some wine stains on it.
She looked older than ever.
''Well Hope, why did you woke me? Didn't I teach you to leave your mother alone when she's sleeping!'' she said while searching for a bottle. I didn't tell her that not a single bottle was still filled with wine - she had to see for her self.
''Mom, I have to talk to you. You know the Arcane University? Well, -'' she interrupted me with a loud cough. She usually did that to make clear that she wanted to speak.
''Mages school?''
I nodded while taking a seat on the chair facing the couch she was sitting on. She raised one bottle from the floor and she examined it with her eyes, and clearly she was disappointed when she noticed it was empty.
''Well, I want to go to the Arcane University and study there, becoming a m-''
''A what?'' She started to laugh. Her laugh was hysterically and halfway she began to choke. She thought it was funny? My dream was just a big joke to my mother, and that was hurting me.
''Hope,'' she said still laughing. ''You're a Dunmer, and Dunmer aren't typically mages.''
''There are many Dunmer mages,'' I said. My voice was weaker than before and I was almost sure that she noticed that she caused me a lot of pain, but I was also almost sure that she didn't care.
''Well, you're not. Being a Dunmer mage is harder than a Breton mage or an Altmer mage. Only when you're willing to learn, smart and when you've got some talent you would be able to make it.''
''There are plenty of people who have that - including ME!'' I said and I pointed with my index finger to myself. Again she was laughing. I stood up and looked down at her.
''Hope, you're a piece of nothing, you're not worth a single coin in this world. Just like your mother,'' she was whispering. ''But if you want to proof yourself: come on, set me on fire. Electrify me.''
''Mom - mom I c-can do it, just believe me!'' I felt the tears in my eyes, I noticed them. And so did she - it only caused another laughter.
''Come on little Hope, set me on fire, set me on fire - oh, you can't! You know why? Because y-''
I didn't know what really happened next. I only remember that the house was set on fire. It was a wooden house, and the fire, what a single moment ago wasn't there, spread himself all over the place.
I examined it. It reached the ceiling and caressed it with his warm arms. The warm tongue of the fire whispered something to me. I didn't really know what it said, but it said something. But one thing was bothering, and a second later I knew it: my mother.
Slowly I moved my view to her and yes, she was already dead. A moment of regret, tears and sadness appeared. I couldn't believe it. I was a killer, a cold heartless killer. My mother was right. She was just right. I'm worth nothing.
And by the sound of people screaming I could notice that I was in trouble. In big trouble.