[LuCY sCoTT]

§1. Anyone with an opinion differing from your own is wrong.

• They are also trolling, their only purpose here is to personally annoy you (and only you).
  
• Almost everybody other than yourself on this board is a [fan boy/hater] (choose one).
  
• If you happen to agree with anybody they are your best friend, but beware of future betrayals (see: §1 title.)
  
• Anybody who claims not to be in either camp has a hidden agenda, and their hidden opinion is wrong.
  
• Anybody with seemingly mixed opinions has a hidden agenda, and their hidden opinion is wrong.
  
• Anyone who believes in "polite disagreement" has already lost the argument and is trying to save face.
  
• Keep your cool even if you actually have spittle on your keyboard, you are never wrong.

§2. Trash every thread with an opinion differing from your own. You are always right and your charisma can change anyone's mind.

• Make lots of threads to complain about the [fan boys/haters], nobody else is aware of their conspiracy and you alone must stop it.
  
• If there are five of these threads already on page one, they are decoys. You are responsible for the genuine article.

§3. If you are a console user then PC gamers are idiots and trolls.

• All PC gamers are pirates and PC gaming is unprofitable, only stupid people spend $3,000 (the minimum for PCs) on a gaming system.
  
• Mods are low quality and usually break Bethesda's already-perfect game. Only heretics try to improve on perfection.
  
• PCs can't use gamepads or large TVs, PC gamers are chumps for slumping in front of a crappy little screen.
  
• PC gamers are so elitist they want to turn your game in to a spread sheet, don't let them.

§4. If you are a PC user then console gamers are idiots and trolls.

• All console gamers are 12-year-olds who just got here from Call of Duty 3, this is their first TES game anyway so they are wrong.
  
• Console gamers are jealous of mods, not that a console gamer knows how to install one (folders are too complex for them).
  
• Console gamers want to ruin the PC version of any game because they don't have the pocket money for a PC.
  
• All console gamers are so idiotic they want to dumb down your game, don't let them.

§5. Anyone who doesn't play on [difficulty level] is a [casual/powergamer].

• Destruction is [fine/broken], anyone who disagrees needs to learn to play.
  
• Anyone who levelled up too fast with crafting skills is a stupid [newbie/a victim of Bethesda's incompetent design].

§6. Skyrim is the [best/worst] game ever, anyone discussing individual aspects of the game is too ashamed to show their incorrect opinion.

• There are [zero/infinity] bugs, you know this because your game is [perfect/unplayable].
  
• Bethesda just need to ban everyone except you from their forums so you can [praise/criticise] them in peace.