I need to know how i get fose to use the fallout 3 exe.

I may not have explained myself properly.

Hopefully someone will know what i mean.

You don't need to, it will do it automatically if you use the _loader.exe file. Just put FOSE in your game folder, then use FOSE_loader.exe to boot the game, not the default Fallout.exe.

I would like for games for windows live to be open. and using the fose loader its not.

Also my game crashes alot with fose because i need to use large address aware which i cant use for fose? i need to use the fallout 3 exe for that dont i?

FOSE is not compatible with GFWL.

Setting the large address aware flag on Fallout3.exe still works when FOSE is launched, to the best of my recollection. The fose_loader.exe doesn't replace Fallout3.exe, it only makes a few alterations to it in memory when it launches the Fallout3.exe.

That has nothing to do with FOSE. If your game is crashing because you're using large address aware then the game simply isn't compatible with that mode. If you're using Windows XP, you definitely don't want to be using it. You'll run into memory address conflicts with your drivers which will crash your game on a regular basis. I ran into all sorts of problems when I tried to use it on my machine, even ending up with total system crashes. And you don't need to use the extra RAM, the game was designed with a 32 bit system in mind and will run just fine without requiring anything extra.