I love how you change the story from one 2 another plus I love the necromancer side, so funny

Bumped for grand justice!

I'm loving the Thalassan-Naala relationship. It's extremely well-done, and very entertaining. It makes Thalassan a much more accessable character, and... well... Naala's just adorable.

I also feel you did a lot better at drawing me into the story this time. It's nice to see the trio working together as a group, now, and I agree on the Kira-is-not-immortal thing mentioned above. :twirl:

I also dislike UBER-GOOD and UBER-BAD. Even a holy crusader and a mad criminal mastermind are still people, no matter how hard they try not to be. They still love and lose, make mistakes, miscalculate, hope and fear, have insecurities, and all that little stuff that we mundane folks have to worry about. I struggle sometimes with getting that across in my own stories... I think I should start taking lessons from you. As I said above... Thalassan is, while on the "evil" side of things, still entirely accessable because of the way you wrote him. You did a very good job of that.

So, of course, keep it up. Can't wait to see part three (damn cliff-hangers!) :goodjob:

Once again, thank you ever so much for all the feedback. And such praise coming from BSparrow is certainly the best thing that could possibly happen to me on the fan-fic forums! If I died now, I'd leave a happy, smiling corpse.

Honestly, you have no idea how happy I am, considering how you guys take the time to read through my stuff and tell me what you think, especially since some of you are really incredible writers! It really means a great deal to me and I'm happy and proud beyond imagination right now! I know my enthusiasm over all your nice words about my tiny little story is blowing everything totally out of proportion, but I'm too hyper to feel weird or bad right now! :hehe:

I really love the Thallasan-Naala relationship too! It's so cute and comical, haha. You know what would be cool is if you inserted screen shots to go along with your stories.

Can't wait for chapter 3!

I'll admit, again, a slight confusion on race here; perhaps a bit on the name, and also the description of his hair as a "mane," made me confuse Thallasan for a Khajiit for a moment there, though looking through again, that confusion's cleared up.

At any rate, the Kira/Spark/Cronk section was decent; good to see "the good guys" lose for once, especially in a fanfic... Though I must agree with the sentiment implied by most that your necromancy scenes are a real gem. Vedaa pretty much summed it up perfectly two posts up.

Keep it up; I'm eager to read your next chaper!

Well, since there was some slight confusion regarding the characters' races at the beginning of the first chapter (frankly, I love delivering details bit by bit rather than giving a big, detailed description in one paragraph ), I decided to mention the races straight away in chapter two (young dunmer, useless lizard etc.)
The "mane" part might be a lil confusing. In my language, it's a fun, valid expression for wild, poofy hair, but maybe it's a little different in English, so perhaps I should rephrase that part a little bit.

The next bit is currently in the making and should be done within the next 1-2 days. Once again, I have to apologize for the delays, but I have lots of stuff going on right now and I'd rather wait for creative moments, where I have lots and lots of time to work on my story than rush it out in a few minutes. I want the story to remain fun to read and I'd hate to disappoint after all the incredible feedback I got from you guys.

Hang tight, the next update is already in the making!

No, it's perfectly valid in English. It's just that like most terms in English, it has a whole load of possible meanings. Partly it was my own fault for the confusion.

Please don't forget about this. Its been a while since I read a good fanfic with khajiiti characters...

Aww, I'm terribly sorry about the delay. A mix of the European football Championship and Age of Conan keep me so busy these days! I've been a baaaad Kira. I'll update any day now :angel:

Age of Conan any good?

And be careful, be too much of a baaad Kira and you might be...punished. :shifty:

AoC is awesome, but my RL problems just dissolved themselves, so I am writing on my next chapter this very moment.

Stupid real life. Thanks for providing us with this wonderful story. :hugs:

Well, I got a phone call a few moments ago telling me I finally got a new job after several dozen (!) job interviews! So, I'll be able to eat and pay my bills again, there's no more RL crap to worry about and the newest bit of my story shall be uploaded within a few hours. Sorry for being a drama queen. Back to writing with me!

The noble Sir Cronk could hear the shrieking sound of the arrows, felt them drumming against his heavy armor, piercing through it, tearing through steel, skin and flesh. So this is how the Nine wanted him to die, but he'd go down in a fight!
He rushed towards the three bandits, the leader and one of his henchmen quickly backing off, the third of them glaring at the orc in horror, as Cronk grabbed his throat and slowly lifted him up several inches above the ground. Another arrow tore through his armor and right into his shoulder, but he barely noticed it, feeling little more than just a punch. He squeezed the thug's throat, crushed it with his plated fist and tossed the lifeless body to the ground. He roared fiercely and proceeded to approach his remaining two opponents, but his body refused to obey. He tried to focus on the blurry bandits, threw several punches but he only hit thin air. He could feel his warm blood oozing from several gaping wounds and all of a sudden, his armor weighed a hundred billion tons.

He kept on stumbling towards them, slowly, one step at a time. He had to pause when he was struck by another arrow, made a little step backwards, then blinked a few times to see the bandit leader, who seemed to carry what looked like a crossbow. The bearded man's lips moved for a brief moment, shaped a crude, sinister grin full of rotten teeth, but Cronk didn't understand him. So this is what dying feels like, he thought. He felt no pain. He was just weak and tired. So very tired. Then the bandit fired his crossbow. And the world faded to black.

Chapter III - Rotten to the core

Poor unloved, rotten creature you,
not quite alive, yet not quite dead.
Got no more toes to fill your shoe,
but maggots in your head.

Poor hated, feared, undead beast,
unwanted - just like me.
So restless and yet so deceased,
your friend now I shall be.

Like me, you'll never know true love,
mere slaves is what we are.
Neglected by the Nine above,
and freedom is so far.

I'll give you clothes, a hat a name!
To him it might seem like a game...
But you're a friend - my friend!
My only friend...

-Naala


Hector lowered his crossbow when the bloodied orc finally crashed to the ground after he killed an ogre and one of his men and got hit by several arrows and his iron bolt. Such a shame how Goran got killed by that nasty green beast, but that meant all the more loot for him and his surviving companion.

He nodded at Ulf and pointed at the lifeless adventurers. "Go and loot their corpses. They might have carried some gold or magical weapons. But be sure to slit their throats, just in case!" -"Aye, chief!"
He stepped further into the hall and kneeled over the first of the three adventurers, a khajiit in a dark blue suede outfit. She was flat on her back, her jerkin rolled up a bit, revealing her furred belly. Her fur was short and shiny, almost golden in the torch light and felt incredibly soft to the touch. Ulf looked back over his shoulder and saw Hector walking back towards the corridor, probably making sure there were no more ogres nearby.

Ulf swallowed nervously, looked back once more, then slowly slid his hand a little further up her suede doublet. Without warning, from one second to the next, her eyes were wide open, huge, oval-shaped orbs of amber gazing at him. The young Nord wanted to shout for Hector, but he was mesmerized as she put a clawed finger to his lips. "Shhh...!"
She drew him closer, purred at him, put her cheek against his and whispered, "Such a shameless boy! I thought you came here to plunder, not to explore...?" She shifted under him, his shivering hand was pressed against her chest now.
"I hope you're enjoying this, because it's the last thing you're going to feel in this life!"
Ulf gasped as the cold steel of Spark's blade pierced right through his heart. She gave his cheek a gentle stroke, petting him almost lovingly. "Hush now, it's almost over!" She bared her fangs and twisted her short sword with all her might, sat up and coldly pushed Ulf's corpse away from her.

She walked straight towards Hector. "You", she hissed. "You filthy piece of goblin crap dare attack us while we fight some monsters which you don't have the guts to face head on! And then you send your dirty little lapdog, who couldn't keep his filthy hands off me!" Hector prepared to aim his crossbow, but Spark reached for her belt pouch and pierced his hand with a throwing star in one quick motion. He screamed in pain as he held his bleeding hand and Spark grabbed him by his hair and smashed his head into the wall several times until he slid to the floor.

"Oooh no, we're not done, yet!" She sat on his chest and got a little vial out of her tool bag. She pinched his nose, so he'd be unable to breathe. "The choice is yours. You can choke now or open your filthy mouth!" He gasped and Spark poured the vial's clear fluid down his throat. She got back up and let go of the gargling and coughing Hector. "What did you do to me? What did I just drink there?" he demanded.

"I have poisoned you. Your intestines are slowly dissolving as we speak. Two hours from now, your innards will be but a bloody mess, which will pour out from every available exit. Nasty way to die, if I may say so." Spark shrugged at him.
"You... you fiend! Tell me how to stop this process or I swear I will tear you apart with my bare hands!" Hector clutched his burning stomach. He could feel cold beads of sweat gathering on his forehead.
"Tsk, tsk! I really don't think you're in a good position to threaten me."
Hector felt weak. He could feel the poison eating him up from the inside. "Alright, alright... look! We were after the ogres, just like you, but there was no way we could have defeated them on our own, so we followed you instead and when I saw you were having trouble, it just came over me and... just tell me how to make up for it, please! I don't want to die!"

Spark tilted an ear. "Hmm... okay, here's the deal: Our horse is waiting just outside this fort - and I'll kill you without hesitation if you bastards have done anything to her! You will help me drag my companions outside and get them to town with me, so I can take them to a healer before it's too late! And then you will follow me to the fighter's guild and explain what happened, so you will receive proper punishment there! After that, I will give you an antidote!"
Hector glared at her. "But... but I'll be dead in a little less than two hours! We will never make it in time!"
"Well, we sure as hell won't if you just stand here and cry to me, so get moving already!"

Sometimes all it took was a vial of water and a convincing story.



A few days later, in a dark, hidden cave, Thalassan counted his loot. 20 Septims, a bag of potatoes, a pitchfork and some moldy cheese. Naala gave him a hug, but he just sighed and pushed her away. "Aww, master! It wasn't so bad for a first time, was it?"
"Not so bad? Are you kidding? The villagers had seen my zombies coming from miles away and fled before I could get any fresh corpses for my army! And they left nothing of value!"
Naala rummaged through the spoils their zombies had brought them from the village. "You know, master, if you'd give me 1 or 2 of the gold coins, I could go buy some vinegar and make a really nice potato salad!"

A skull hit the wall right next to her and exploded into a hundred little pieces. "Don't get upset, master, I'm only trying to help. Now that we've learned about how slow and easy to detect zombies are, we can plan our next attack in the middle of the night. Besides, there is an addition to your army now, even if it's just a little one."
She pointed at an undead rabbit, which was nibbling a moldy carrot in a dark corner of the cave. He rolled his eyes. The rabbit had been already dead before he even sent his zombies there. How did she even talk him into animating it? And did he really want to get into a discussion about how zombies don't have to eat? How did she manage to make them moan and eat and wear silly hats and do all kinds of useless things, anyway?

Naala poured the potatoes in a barrel, grabbed the empty bag, took Claude by the hand and walked outside to sit in the grass. There she sang her secret little song to him and started shaping a potato-bag shirt for her only friend.

(to be continued...)

Love Naala's love song to the zombie. Ineptitude is so funny. However, the kitties need to make a comeback and save the day. I couldn't care less about the orc. Just please bring back the pretty kitties.

The kitties are back with a vengeance, don't worry. I'm still editing the previous post and adding more and more text, so be sure to check back on it until the "edit" text says it's finished

EDIT: Okay, go back to the last post on page 2 for the full update now. Naala is still adorable and cute, but for some weird reason, she seems a lot more "tragic" now. I felt like crying after finishing the last parts of that post...

I didn't get to proof-read the whole thing, yet, so I might rephrase a sentence here and there or correct some typos, repetitions and grammar mistakes in a bit.

EDIT2: Eek! So many people in this thread right now, I'm so scared of negative criticism! :blink: Haha!

Bwahahhahahaa! I love it! :rofl:

I am especially beginning to love Sparks. That one line was all it took to make me LOL

So glad to hear you found a job Kira! I'm waiting to hear back from somewhere too, so I can finally get rid of my dad's annoying Phone Bills

Aaaah, the many trials of an evil wizard. :rofl:

And Spark definitely had a Moment of Awesome, there. Quite delightful.

I sometimes have trouble getting through action scenes when they're clumped into one paragraph, but that's probably more a personal preference than anything. Something to do with the pacing, I think.

Not much else to say on it. I'm glad to see you're back on it... and trust me. I know exactly how you felt. I've been hunting for a job for a while too, and that just has a way of sapping creativity.

agreed, job= death of all creativity.

I've been meaning to continue the story for soooo long now, but it's like you said - some situations can really drain you of all creativity. I'm very grateful for your support!

And you're right, the fighting scenes are a lot shorter this time around, but considering how the first 2 bits of my story only take about 15 minutes to read and they're really full of fighting, I thought I'd compress the action scenes a bit this time around. I'm not sure if I'm really happy with how quickly Cronk goes from squeezing throats to getting all trippy and starting to die, so I might really inflate that part some more.

I'm glad you guys enjoyed the Spark part. She hardly got any attention so far and it was about time to give her some personality. I'm also happy with the Naala bit, even though it's relatively tiny this time around. She's still adorable and childish, but also very sad now.

I'll give the action scenes some polish (3x "filthy" in one paragraph, that's just too much and it really feels a lil too compressed) and I already have some ideas for the next bit, so hopefully the next update will come a lot faster.

There is a reason I go job fishing, instead of job hunting. In an unrelated note, I am unemployed at the moment.

Naala is really cute, with her friendship with the zombie. However, I hope her relationship doesn't develope to the point she makes Falanu Hlaalu envious of her... though this doesn't seem to really have any indication of heading that far down that path.

I envied the unlucky bastard who got to pet the kitty... until he was stabbed. That incident reminded me of a recent encounter with my cat, though it wasn't quite as deadly. I found her lying on my bed, somewhat sleeping, so I gave her a few strokes, started her motor, flipped her over and stroked her belly, and then, while still purring, she growled at me and attempted to scratch and bite my hand off. Cannot understand cats, which is why I love them.

Y can't any khajiit exist in real life /whine.

totaly off topic @scow2: Thats why im a dog guy...

Well, Naala is quite obviously feeling unloved, which is no surprise, being a mere servant and all. However, you mustn't forget that she is female and to most girls, "love" is solely a matter of the heart, not "OMG I wanna get laid right NOW!" Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make fun of guys or anything, but... well, ya know, genetics. Guys simply don't function that way. Ahem... anyway! She wants to feel loved and wanted and cared for, but she's definitely not gonna start humping zombies now!

I really loved the story about your RL cat! It's sooooo true! Some cats just purr at you like crazy, they wanna be cuddled and from one moment to the next they start biting and clawing at you like mad! Maybe that's what I had in mind when I wrote that little part about Spark. I'm glad nobody felt offended with it being a tiny bit on the sixy side.
I wanted her to be hot, wild and passionate, yet stone-cold and brutally efficient, both at the same time.

I'll admit it's lots of fun giving all the characters some entertaining, multi-faceted personalities. I always wanted to create my own character(s) for a big and exciting video game or at least a really huge RPG mod or something, but I guess writing a fan-fic isn't so bad, either.

So that is why I can never get a date...


I mentioned an almost daily occurance with Pico. I raise and breed cats for pocket change.



Who here would get offended? There has been far more than that on these forums. I seriously hope we are going with the British PG-13 standards.