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http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?s=&showtopic=844198&view=findpost&p=12573802

Heya!

EDIT:
Okay, the fan-fic is still in my signature, but I've been advised to just post it here, so... here goes!

Note:
If you trip upon any severe grammar and spelling mistakes, feel free to send me a PM and I'll correct them. Go easy on me, I'm not a native speaker (or writer, for that matter). So, anybody still there and reading? Great, let's go!


Chapter I - Enter Kira


The beetle happily climbed a blade of grass to enjoy the first rays of sunlight, which painted the West Weald in soft, warm tones of red and orange. Yes, this was certainly going to be the best day of its life! Then, without warning, the little insect's world turned dark as it was grabbed by a furred hand and tossed into a mouth full of sharp teeth, which crushed the life out of the bug.

"Hmm.... crunchy!" Kira was on all fours, carefully scanning the grass for possible friends and family members of her breakfast, her tail swishing back and forth in excitement.
"Eww! Yuck! That's so gross!" Spark turned away in disgust.
"Oh c'mon, Spark! You've never tasted one, so how can you say that?"
"What if that was a dung beetle? Aren't you afraid to get sick?" She flicked an ear in confusion.
"Sick! Bah! Dung is said to be full of minerals and the bug looked perfectly healthy to me!"
Agoran cleared his throat to get their attention. "Ahem... are you quite done, yet?"
Kira got up and stuck her tongue out at him. "Pffft! No one asked you, Stinky!"
"Stinky? How many times do I have to tell you this isn't me? It's the alchemy ingredients! It's not my fault alchemy requires so many parts of dead animals and fungi and what not. Anyway..." He pointed east. "Bravil is still far away, because someone was too stubborn to spend some gold on a horse! Let's get going, shall we?"

Kira bit her tongue and started walking. Her companions had joined her to help her on her mission for the Fighters' Guild in Bravil and upsetting them would have been a bad idea. Most of her unusual, white fur was hidden by a dark cowl and her black leather armor, which was reinforced with heavy steel plates. Her arsenal of weapons, which consisted of two katanas, a longbow and a quiver full of silver arrows rattled and clanked with every step.

Spark was the exact opposite of Kira. She was taller, her sand-coloured fur always carefully brushed, not trying to defy the laws of gravity like Kira's. Her light armor allowed her to move with feline grace and agility, enabling her to sneak up on her enemies to slit their throats with her blades, without ever letting them know what hit them. Together, they were the embodiment of chaos and sixiness. And one could easily tell which of them played the former and which of them played the latter part.

Agoran the battlemage was the oldest member of the little group. He was also the least talkative one of them. There was no dark and evil aura about him, though - he was merely more focused on the task at hand and not getting distracted by beetles, flowers or wild sheep. His dark, flowing robe made him appear even more serious, almost majestic.
Kira silently cursed herself for refusing to buy a horse. Her feet hurt and her heavy gear made her sweat. She felt the need to tell her friends about how her butt starts itching whenever she sweats under her tight, heavy armor, but they'd only nag at her. Stupid expensive horses! Stupid sun! Stupid feet! Stupid armor! Stupid butt! Stupid... what the....

A fearsome battlecry interrupted her inner monologue. A bull-headed monster jumped on the road from behind a tree, easily one foot taller than the Khajiit and at least three times her weight, its tan, muscular body almost fully exposed, save for a loincloth around the waist. The little bones and fangs on the creature's necklace danced back and forth as the monster was waving its crude war hammer at Kira. She hissed, her lips curling back to reveal her sharp, bone-white fangs. "You want a piece of me, minotaur scum? Come get it!!" She charged at the monster, smashing the hilts of both her katanas into its teeth as she unsheathed them, not noticing the second minotaur, which appeared behind the group to attack Agoran with a massive stone axe.
"Kira! Over here", he yelled. The air around his hands flickered as he began to focus his energies. He prepared to fire a bolt of lightning at the minotaur, but it was already too late. The monster sent him flying with a powerful blow of its axe.

Kira kicked her opponent in the groin with the steel-tip of her boot and then broke the monster's nose with her forehead, using her thick skull like a weapon. When the minotaur hit the ground, she turned around to face Spark, who rammed both her short swords into the other minotaur's belly. She paused to watch it sink on its knees, then ripped her blades out, tearing him wide open. "And you call me gross for eating bugs! Did you have to exectue him like that?" Then, in the corner of her eye, she saw how the first minotaur got back on its feet, trying to run away. She sheathed her katanas, let out an annoyed sigh, drew her bow and shot it in the back.

Agoran was still on the ground, with his face in the dirt. Kira kneeled down to turn him around. "Ewwww! I think the cow-boy broke his neck!" Spark's ears flattened. "Bastards!", she hissed. "Hey, Spark! Look! I think his Eye is coming out! Whoa! Now it's stuck on my finger! Coooool!"
"Will you please stop it? Maybe a really experienced healer could resurrect him!"
Kira looked at her with a wicked grin. "Well, looks like you gotta carry him to Bravil."
"Bravil? That place is a half day away from us! And why am I the one who gets to carry him, huh?"
Kira gently bounced up and down a few times, her katanas, arrows and bow making lots of noise. "You know... if you'd like to carry my heavy gear and have me running around naked with a corpse, then...." "Alright, alright, just shut up, already!"

Kira lifted the young Breton's corpse to help Spark put it on her shoulder. Spark's eyes widened as a stream of blood gushed out of Agoran's wound and splattered on her armor. "EEK!" She jumped back and Agoran fell head on into the dirt again. "Damn! Why did you do that?"
"He's bleeding on me! I can't carry him!" "Hmm..." Kira rubbed her chin. Then she grabbed one of Agoran's legs. "You grab the other one. We will drag him to Bravil, together."
"Umm... Kira? Don't you think we should turn him on his back before we start dragging him all the way to Bravil?"
"Whoops!"


The noble Sir Cronk examined his mighty broadsword a last time before sheathing it, strapped his giant tower shield on his back and put on his winged pot helm. The weight of his bulky suit of plate mail was enough to bring any man to his knees, but the huge, muscular orc moved around in it, as though it had been made of cardboard.

His white steed's eyes widened, as he proceeded to mount it. "Ahh, my faithful Louise! We are on a quest today, to hunt down an infamous criminal! It may not be the most glorious mission of all times, but I shall make a name for myself as an Orcish knight step by step, you'll see!"

Louise wheezed under the heavy weight of her owner and slowly carried him outside the gates of Bravil, one step at a time.



"So, what are your plans here in Cyrodiil, Kira?" Spark sat next to Agoran's corpse, massaging her ailing feet.
"What do you mean?" Kira's muffled voice came from behind a bush.
"Well, you know... Are you just gonna become another one of those sword-swinging fighters' guild grunts now?"
"Oh, nonono! I'm doing this to boost my reputation a bit, maybe earn a little gold, but I really want to travel the land, become a famous treasure hunter, that kind of thing."

"WAH!" Spark jumped up as a huge crow landed on Agoran's head and proceeded to peck at his remaining eye. "Um... Kira? Think you could help me here?"
"No! What's going on?"
"A crow is pecking at Aggie's corpse!" Spark watched in horror, as the crow dug the eye out of Agoran's skull.
"Well duh, scare it away! It's just a bird!"
"But Kira, it's kinda huge... why can't you do it?"
"?????????????Because my friggin' pants are somewhere around my ankles!?????????????"
Spark looked around, picked up a rock and tossed it at the crow. She missed the bird by a few inches as it flew away and hit Agoran in the head. Kira sighed, as she stood behind Spark, rearranging her pants. "Nice, Spark. Nice..."




Sir Cronk followed the road that leads from Bravil to the Imperial City and Skingrad. His overburdened horse slowed him down more than doing him any good, but every true knight should have a horse and Cronk was in no hurry, knowing the criminal he had been sent to kill was said to be coming down this road, anyway.

He pictured himself in his own fortress, commanding an order of knights, sending them out to help people in need and make the world a safer place. Yes, he would be doing great things and become a known hero! And then the lovely Mazoga would come to his fortress and they'd spend all night and day on the warm, cozy furs by the fireplace and he'd f... "Halt, Louise!"

The orc's train of thoughts was interrupted by what sounded like angry shouts. "I think this is coming from the river. Wait here, Louise!" Sir Cronk dismounted and carefully walked towards the upper Niben, his horse keeling over behind him.
He spotted a shrouded black figure and a Khajiit, who seemed to be dragging somebody behind them.




"Way to go, Kira, really!" Spark hissed.
"Oh shut up, will ya? He lost his other eye because you were afraid of a stupid crow!"
"So what? Let's walk along the river, to avoid getting ambushed by bandits, you said. Let's sit by the river and rest for a while, you said! It's your damn fault he got washed into the water and we could only get him back after the slaughterfish had chewed his leg off!"
Kira rolled her eyes and waved the severed leg at Spark. "Yeah, yeah, I have it right here, so they can attach it again, provided the guy isn't beyond healing, anyway!"

Kira and Spark stood side by side when they detected an armored figure, who walked towards them. The white Khajiit hid the severed leg behind her back. Best not alienate strangers with severed limbs! Spark glared at her. "Why the heck are you even trying to hide the leg, while there is a friggin' corpse right next to us", she whispered.

"Good day to you!" Sir Cronk bowed to the Khajiit and pointed at Agoran. "Have you been ambushed?"
Kira nodded. "We are on our way to Bravil to have him fixed by a healer."
The orc hesitated for a moment. "Fixed? As in, prepared for his burial? Your friend appears dead to me! Everybody knows that even the most powerful healers cannot raise the dead. Unless... you're not selling corpses and random body parts to necromancers, are you?"
"Noooo, of course not... heheh..." Kira dropped the severed leg and kicked it into the river behind her. "We were just taking him to Bravil to have his last rites performed for him, so he can get a proper burial."

"svcks to be him", Kira whispered. Spark hit her in the side with her elbow. "Heal him, huh? We could have buried him right there, but nooo, we had to carry him all the way here and protect his dead ass with our lives!"
"Hey, didn't you say a skilled healer might be able to help? Grrr!"
Sir Cronk kneeled in front of Agoran's corpse. "By the gods! He is missing his eyes, a leg, his skull is cracked... what kind of psychopath could possibly do such a thing?"
Kira cleared her throat. "Erm... yeah, we're lucky to be alive, really."
Sir Cronk picked the dead Breton up and nodded at the Khajiit. "Bravil is not far from here. I'm on a quest to hunt down a dangerous criminal, but I can't leave two ladies behind like that. I shall carry your friend to the gates of Bravil for you, so you can bury him there."

He waited for Kira and Spark to move, then followed close behind. The taller, sand-coloured Khajiit wore a suede doublet and suede pants, dyed in midnight blue. She carried a little toolbag and two short swords. The other Khajiit was covered almost entirely in black armor, only her white tail swishing back and forth in front of him as she walked towards the road to Bravil. White tail?

Sir Cronk stopped. "Excuse me, mylady..."
The Khajiit turned around and gave him a confused look. "Would you reveal your face to me?"
Kira and Spark looked at each other, then looked at Sir Cronk. "Huh?"
"I suppose it's only fair if I start." The orc lifted his pot helm, revealing his green-skinned face, a massive jaw with giant, tusk-like teeth and thick, black hair tied to a pony tail. "Now, if you would please show me your face..."
Kira shrugged and removed her cowl, showing her cat-like face, which was so typical for her kind. Her snow-white fur, however, was rather unique.
"You are Kira, are you not?"
"And why does that matter to you, orc?" Her ears flattened.
"Clearly abhorred by the gods, themselves, with that sickly look of yours."
"You know, that really hurts, coming from an orc with such bad breath and a face so ugly, I could be talking to your butt, instead! What do you want with me, anyway?"
Sir Cronk put his helmet back on. "You are a wanted criminal."
Kira tilted her head in thought. "Wanted criminal... Ooooo that guy I punched in the face?"
"Punched? They say you've nearly killed him!"
"Well, he was drunk and he wouldn't leave me alone until I punched him and then a tooth came out... and then a lung or something..."
The orc drew his sword. "Either way, I'm going to have to kill you now. I hold no personal grudge against you. It's my mission."

Spark reached for her blades, but Kira shook her head at her. "It's alright, let me play with him for a while." She unsheathed her katanas, one of them faintly aglow with ice energy, the other one burning with magical fire. "Well then, shall we dance?"

Cronk stormed towards Kira, ready to strike her down, as she threw herself to the side, rolled past him and prepared to strike. The orc whirled around, parried her attack with his shield and sent her flying on her back. "You're fast for a fat, chunky orc! Why is a knight like you hunting down so-called criminals, anyway?" She jumped back on her feet.
"It is my duty to fight for the weak!" He attacked her with a mighty, vertical swing, which Kira blocked with both her katanas, high above her head. She kicked Cronk in the shin, causing no more damage than a slight dent in his greaves. She looked up at the armored orc. "Uh oh!" He sent her flying again with another powerful shield bash.

"So you're one of the good guys, huh? Fighting for fame and fortune, that kind of stuff?" She slowly got back on her feet again.
"What would a criminal like you know about good deeds or fame?" He released a furious howl and rushed towards her. "Not this time, buddy!" Kira waited for him to get close enough, then pounced him, hoping to throw him on his back. To her great surprise, Cronk was still standing and she was merely giving him a comical hug now, her legs wrapped around his waist. She hissed, dropped her swords and grabbed his helmet, took it off him and threw it away.
Kira repeatedly punched him in the face with both her fists until he finally started to grow weak on his knees. "If it's fame and fortune you want, you're free to join me. Turned out we just got a vacant spot." She hit him in the face again, full force. The orc stumbled and ended up falling on his back, Kira sitting on his chest, continuing to mercilessly pound his face into pulp.
He groaned and spat blood at her. "I'd rather die than join the likes of you. Kill me if you want, at least I will die in battle!"

She wiped the blood off her armor and got off his chest. "I'm no murderer. And I'm not a criminal. In fact, you and I are both after the same thing. So, you could join me, so we can fight for fame and fortune together. Or I can spend the rest of the day punching you in the face, it's really up to you." Kira reached out for him with her hand. "What do you say?"
Sir Cronk sat up without her help, wiped his bloody mouth with the back of his hand and looked up at the Khajiit. "Not many would dare to attack me like that... and live. And yet you didn't rob or kill me. Perhaps I was wrong about you, after all."

"Of course you were. And now get up and come to Bravil with us. We still have to bury our friend here and we're on a mission for the fighters' guild."

And so, the three of them stepped through the gates of Bravil with a dead body and an exhausted horse. In the distance, there was the cry of a fisherman. "Oh ye gods! A human leg!"

To be continued...

http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?showtopic=844198&st=20&gopid=12318478&#
http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?s=&showtopic=844198&view=findpost&p=12408289
http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?s=&showtopic=844198&view=findpost&p=12539977
http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?s=&showtopic=844198&view=findpost&p=12573802

Shouldn't this be in TES fan-fic forum?

Oops! Yes, it should.

Yeah, people might be more interested in it there. Just ask a moderator to move it.

Well, looks like moving it here didn't really help either. Guess I'm just not interesting enough.

It helps if you actually post it, rather than providing a link. I would imagine you lost many potential readers from this, but I'll read it, just thought I may as well tell you...

Never done anything with fan-fic or this section of the forums. Thanks for the advice, I'll edit my first post and put the story here.

With a disclaimer like that, what is there to comment on?

Your command of english is very good for a non-native speaker. In fact, you write better than many native speakers I know. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to grammar, spelling, or any other thing like that.

I was a bit confused about Agoran's race for a while there, since you failed to mention whether he was man, elf, or beast-folk until he was already a corpse. Just be careful about that in the future, and remember that the readers don't have the picture in their head that you do in yours.

Although, the screenshot gallery on your site helps quite a bit. Kira's very pretty.

The humor was pretty good, although not really my type. Slapstick and wacky situations like you have here don't appeal to me as much as sarcasm and a dry, dark humor. As such, it's cool, but it didn't have me in laughing fits. Well, except for that last line; that had me going for a bit.

Also, note for future reference that Elder Scrolls magic doesn't use spell components. There is Alchemy, but that's completely different from spell-casting. Yep, I know you said to svck it up if your story doesn't follow Lore... but I commented anyway. Nah nah.

The most important part of fanfiction writing is that you're having fun. I can tell that you had fun throwing this together; it shows through in the writing. I can also tell that you're very fond of your characters... well except for Agoran, poor guy. Keep it up, and always have fun with it. That's all that's important.

Oh, I'm fully aware that magic in TES doesn't require any spell components, but to me, mages need to carry around lots and lots of really disgusting stuff. You know, maybe I should really change that bit and make that stuff alchemy components, not spell ingredients.

Thanks for the encouragement and the criticism. Greatly appreciated. :angel:

What fun. I really appreciate the fact that you don't take everything too seriously... the "facts" should never get in the way of a good story. And it takes creativity to just use the TES world as a starting point and then weave the threads of your tale. Poor Agoran.... But he should have known that cats aren't the most sentimental of creatures....

Thank you very much.
I'm trying not to stray from the lore *too* much, to keep it at least somewhat believable, even if it's all certainly on the whacky side. And I've changed the spell components into alchemy ingredients for the sake of staying a little closer to the TES realm. I'm glad you guys like my story a little bit and get some enjoyment out of my characters. :angel:

Nice job kira. I write a few stories here and there, but share them with my friends. Sadly, were all nerds.

Thank you. I'm grateful for every bit of feedback I get.

I got a lil story here too http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?showtopic=844446

Thanks for sharing. Not sure how I feel about dog overlords, buuut to each their own. :hehe:
Anyhow, working on chapter 2 this very moment!

I thought it was interesting. Oddly enough, it gives me a better appreciation of Khajiits. I've never been a big user of Khajiits, but Kira sounds amusing to be around. She seems to have her own way of doing things. I find her likable. Always good with character development me thinks. I'd like to find out what else Kira is doing.

I've always thought Khajiit in TES were a little too dumb and slow and they rarely ever got much attention, because they're usually slaves, skooma addicts or some other kind of losers. I never liked that. Cats should be wild, mishievous, random - you get the idea. I want Khajiit with cat personalities and Kira is the loud, omnipresent minx-type of cat and Spark is the silent and deadly huntress. I hope to flesh them out some more over the next chapters and make them seem more alive and fun all of that boring, stereotypical Khajiit NPCs.

And once again, thank you so much for the feedback. I really can't wait to put up the next chapter now!

I absolutely adore your style of writing Kira. Really entertaining and captivating right from the beginning!

I've got to admit it took me a loooong time to figure out who was what race, not that it really mattered because the story was so well written. Kudos on that.

Looking foward to the next chapter! :clap:

Keep going!

P.S. Never woulda guessed you weren't a native speaker (or writer as you put it)!

Ah, excellent. Had me smiling at a number of parts, laughing at a couple. Glad to see a fanfic that doesn't take itself too seriously, like 99% of them. And I must say your mastery level of the English language is better, sadly, than the majority of native speakers I've encountered on the Internet.

I do agree that there was a slight problem at Agoran's race; I kept subconciously thinking of him as an Argonian due to the name, and it wasn't until he was already dead that I knew otherwise. Also, you forgot quotes on the paragraph that began with "Sir Cronk picked the dead Breton up..."

Still, very good work, and one of very few fanfics I've read and not gone "I want those 15 minutes of my life back" afterward. Well done.

Thank you, Mirage and Nottheking for taking the time to read the whole thing!
As for Kira's and Spark's race, I thought all the talk about fur (and maybe the fact I'm a little full of myself) gave away they're Khajiit (or Khajiiti as the plural used to be in Daggerfall).
As for Agoran and who or what he is... well, I'll admit it's kind of an evil thing I've seen in quite a few novels, too. You know, the author using a paragraph or two talking about a certain character without revealing even basic stuff such as his looks, race and such.

And hey, he's really like one of those poor svckers in Star Trek, who are entirely new crew-members you've never seen before, they have 1 or 2 lines of text referring to their beautiful wife and how they dream about building a nice little house with a white fence one day and then they get sent on a mission with Captain Kirk and never make it back in one piece. You get the idea.

I'm feeling a little guilty about taking so long with chapter 2, but I want it to be perfect, so please bear with me. And if it's too annoying to check back on this thread every once in a while, there is always my website, which also contains my fan-fic. *points at her signature*

Oh and thanks for pointing out the missing quotes! I can't believe I (and everybody else, apparently) missed them!

And now, without further ado, the biggest part of Chapter 2!

Chapter II - Something in the air tonight


Somewhere in the candle-lit depths of a hidden cave, a young Dunmer was chanting ancient, black magic spells. His hands rested on the chest of a rotten corpse, which had been placed upon a crude altar made of solid rock. The dark elf gathered all his energies, felt them tingling in his chest as they grew ever more intense. He held his breath, fully concentrated, and slowly began guiding them towards the corpse. His palms started to glow and the air around him crackled with magical power.
The corpse slowly began to float several inches above the altar. The Dunmer's red eyes widened under the hood of his light brown robe, his heart starting to pound like mad. He would complete it this time! He was so close!
He swallowed and small droplets of sweat covered his forehead as he tried hard not to lose focus. The dead body floated towards him and slowly shifted into a vertical position. The dark elf chanted his dark formula again, shouted it out and demonic, red flashes of lightning rocked through the twitching corpse. Then all became silent and the body slowly came back to the ground and stood on its feet.

The robed Dunmer excitedly walked around the standing corpse a few times. "Did... did it work? Oh... okay, Thalassan, calm down! Let's give this a try!" He walked several steps away from the corpse, turned towards it and said, "Zombie, I command you to come here!" And the rotting corpse slowly began to waddle towards him, mechanically, a dead body animated by the blackest of magicks to do its master's bidding. Thalassan cheered. "Yes! YES! Hahaha! Soon, my undead friend, many more zombies shall join you and then I will form an army and have them invade the cities and plunder everyone's homes! I'll be rich and powerful beyond imagination! Hahahaaaa!"

Thalassan took off his hood and revealed a mane of untamed, white hair. He peered around the cave for his servant, but she was nowhere to be seen. "Zombie, you wait here!"
The young necromancer stepped outside and gazed into the night. "Naala? Naala! Come here, you useless lizard!"
"Yes, master", a scratchy voice replied in the distance and out of the dark, an Argonian in a light brown robe, similar to Thalassan's, appeared, a small basket in her hands.
"Naala! What in Oblivion were you doing out there?"
"I was picking flowers, master!" She proudly showed him her basket. He took a deep breath, raised his fist at Naala and prepared to yell at her, but then he just sighed.
"Naala, have you ever heard of any successful necromancers who decorate their hideouts with flowers? And what.. what's up with this?" He waved a light-brown sleeve of his robe before her green, scaly face. "Weren't you supposed to dye them black?"
"Yes, master, but the dye washed out too quickly. We should try putting it on red or green robes in the future, instead of plain white ones." She nodded excitedly as she told him.
Thalassan glared at her as she was standing before him, both hands firmly attached to the handle of her flower basket.

"Anyway, there is something I'd like to show you." He beckoned her inside and presented his newly-created zombie. "Zombie, come to me!" And once again, the undead corpse waddled towards him.
"Oh master, you have completed the spell this time! And so quickly! Surely, you are a natural at the dark arts of necromancy!" The zombie stood before them, motionless, awaiting new orders.
Naala tilted her head. "Hmm... something is missing." She thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. "Oh, I know! Zombie... can you moan for me, please?" And without hesitation, the zombie began to moan and groan in a creepy, zombie-like fashion.
Thalassan's eyes widened. "No.. what! NO! STOP! I am your master! You are only supposed to follow my orders, you stupid, rotting idiot!"
The zombie stared at him with its cold, dead eyes. "Hurr...?"
Naala gently tucked at the side of his robe. "Aww, don't be so harsh with him, master!"
"Him? It's a living corpse! It's almost skeletal! It's not a person, it's not a him or her, it's just a thing, a slave, a mindless, undead soldier!"
Naala chuckled. "You have to admit, though, the moaning was a pretty nice idea! Right, master?"
"Get out of my sight before I skin you alive! BOTH OF YOU!"




Kira, Spark and the noble Sir Cronk had spent the night at an inn after burying the remains of Agoran. The next morning, they were exploring a ruined fort after getting detailed information from their fighters' guild client in Bravil.
"Why would a bunch of ogres want to live in a place like this?" Spark grimaced at the dirt and dust that covered the crumbling stone walls around them. She lit every torch along the walls of the wide corridors as they carefully ventured deeper into the ruins. Khajiit eyes can see more shades of grey than those of any other race in all of Tamriel, but even their ability to see in the dark required at least some light to work. Besides, Cronk would have been entirely blind, had it not been for the torches.

"With Bravil being just around the corner, it's the perfect place to have a quick snack on random passers-by and patrolling guards", Kira responded. "It's perfect for monsters."
Cronk, who had been leading the way through the seemingly abandoned fort, stopped abruptly and raised his hand. "Hush now", he said and pointed at some dried blood splatters on the ground. Him and Kira drew their weapons as they cautiously moved on, Spark lighting more torches behind them with the one she held in her hand.

The corridor lead to a hall, which contained the remains of some old, rotted wooden chairs and a huge dining table. Most of the furniture was smashed into pieces and the floor was littered with bones. "Well, at least they figured out what the dining hall is for and ate their victims right here", Kira whispered.

Suddenly, a deafening, wild roar seemed to shake the entire fort! Spark watched in horror as a huge, hideous creature charged at her. She dropped her torch and proceeded to draw her blades, but the ogre had already reached her and hit her with a mighty backhand blow. The Khajiit crashed into the wall like a lifeless little puppet, before she slowly fell to the floor and remained motionless.
Kira rushed towards the ogre, slid down under it between its feet and thrusted one of her katanas right into the monster's back. The pale, hairless humanoid howled in agony, but to Kira's great surprise, it quickly whirled around and threw a mighty punch at her with its large fist, the katana still stuck in its back. The ogre hit her entirely unprepared and Kira landed flat on her back. Fiery circles danced before her eyes as she slowly tried to get on her feet again. She felt a stinging pain in her right arm and fought for her consciousness.

Meanwhile, Sir Cronk fought for his life as a second ogre appeared from the far, dark end of the hall. He parried several punches with his shield and then launched a flurry of attacks. His broadsword dealt various bleeding cuts to the monster's thick, leather-like skin, but eventually, the ogre stopped his sword mid-swing with its bare hand and broke the blade apart.

Kira held her burning katana in her left hand, her right arm dangling lifelessly. She anticipated the ogre's next attack and ducked away under its blow, then slashed the monster's belly with a quick sword strike. It screamed in pain and hit Kira with another punch, throwing her right on top of the old dining table. She gasped and her chest burned like fire. Although visibly wounded, the hideous creature seemed nowhere near finished and slowly limped towards the white Khajiit to finish her off. Kira could hardly breathe, one of her katanas still stuck in the monster, the other one lost somewhere on the ground when she got whirled onto the table and the pale-blue giant steadily moving towards her. As it reached her and raised its oversized fist to crush the life out of her once and for all, she reached for her quiver, gathered all her remaining strength and sat up, ramming a silver arrow through the ogre's eye. She pushed it in as far as she could and spun the arrow a few inches until it was firmly stuck inside the skull. The ogre didn't even have time to scream and Kira rolled to the side and fell to the floor to avoid getting buried under the creature's lifeless body. Then everything turned dark around her.

Cronk pummeled his enemy into submission with one mighty shield slam after the next, only stopping every now and then to strike at the ogre with his armored fist. Unlike his fragile feline companions, he rivaled the monster in raw, physical strength and eventually, the monster became visibly slow and tired. It stumbled backwards a few steps and just when Cronk prepared to put an end to this fight, the ogre began to twitch several times, then dropped dead, revealing several arrows, which were stuck in its back.

The confused Orc detected three dark figures in the corridor, that lead to the dining hall. They wore leather armors and two of them wielded longbows. Strangely enough, they kept their bows ready and aimed at Sir Cronk. The third of them, a skinny old man with a grey beard and untidy, grey hair stepped towards him.
"Well, well... looks like we came here just in time!"
Cronk reached for the sheath of his sword, then let out a silent curse when he remembered his sword had been broken. "Who are you?"
"Adventurers, just like you. Seems like we've just slain these hideous monsters. Too bad we didn't make it here before they killed you. But we shall inform the fighters' guild of your heroic battle and put your gear to good use after spending the reward, which we will get for killing these foul ogres. Do you have any last words?"



Thalassan was pleased. He had spent all morning animating a half dozen of the corpses he had been hiding in his cave. Soon, he'd be leading an army of zombies and start invading his first small village. Anybody who'd dare get in his way would make a nice addition to his little army. He inspected them excitedly as they stood ready, waiting for his command, blankly staring through their dead eyes. Or the gaping holes in their skulls where their eyes used to be. His excitement came to a sudden end as he heard a creepy moan coming from behind him. He turned and saw his first zombie, which had not stopped moaning and groaning ever since his servant told him to do so. There was a little hat on its rotting skull and it wore a necklace, which was woven entirely out of wild flowers. "NAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Moments later, the Argonian appeared from one of the many winding tunnels inside the cave. "Yes, master?"
"Naala..." He took a deep breath, dropped his head and put his fingertips to his forehead as though he was suffering from migraine. "What... just..." he sighed. "What in the name of all Daedric princes is this?" Thalassan pointed at the zombie, which had been decorated so lovingly.
Naala giggled. "Aww master, I just wanted Claude to feel a little appreciated, being a scary, rotting corpse and all."
"Claude???"
She nodded excitedly.
"Naala, are you aware that I am going to become a feared and powerful necromancer, who will send his undead armies all over Tamriel to pillage and burn the homes of everyone who would dare to stand in my way? Do you think anyone will be scared if my zombies wear funny hats and flower-necklaces? This zombie is entirely useless to me now! Remove that silly decoration and tell him to STOP MOANING! It drove me up the wall when I tried to sleep last night!"
"But master, why can't we leave him the way he is now? Just this once? Pretty please? I'll take good care of him and stay away from your other zombies! Please, can I keep him?"

Thalassan gnashed his teeth. "How about you and Claude get out of my sight and finally get us some black necromancer robes? NOW!!!" Good servants were so incredibly hard to find these days...

(To be continued...)

Kira...I missed you so much

And now I know why :rofl:

I loved it

Quite simply put: I loved it. It made my day to see that you'd put out chapter 2 while I was out. There are many things I'm liking. Kira is a tough fighter, but she's not a God. I think too many people tend to make their characters God-like. Though I don't want to see them beat around, it's interesting to see that sometimes things don't always go smoothly. Does that make sense? Another thing I'm enjoying? Your evil Necromancer. I suspect when I'm going through some place with the Undead, I'm going to think of funny hats and necklaces. Though, I'll probably also think about getting Brownrot, Greenspore or Serpignous Dementia from them as well. Now I have to patiently wait for chapter 3.

Aww guys, you have no idea how much all of this nice feedback means to me! :angel:

And yeah, I hate nothing more than overused cliches when I read a story. The untouchable ?ber d?ber hero, who wades through piles of corpses, with absolutely nothing being able to stop them. Oh joy. IMO, you can only be a hero when you're afraid, when you can be hurt and when you risk your life and you overcome all of that stuff and fight for your dreams and loved ones. I can't feel sympathetic with somebody who is practically invincible. Heck, I'd save the world, too, if nobody ever stood a chance against me.

Another thing I dislike is 100% pure goodies or 100% just plain evil and hateful bad guys. Nobody is pure, out of the soul good or evil. When Agoran died, I wasn't going for a David Caruso style "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU WILL BE AVENGED! I PROMISE!" Apparently, they didn't know him very well and they did have the intention of having him resurrected, but when they figured out it was impossible, they got over it pretty fast. Tamriel is a dangerous place, people die all the time and they're just used to it too much to pull off a lot of drama because of it.

Same with Thalassan, really. Of course his plans are absolutely evil and selfish. He wants power, he wants to be feared and he's not afraid to raise the dead just to achieve all that! At the same time, he is too kind and nice for his own good! What evil, self-respecting necromancer would put on an ugly, brown robe? He gives Naala a hard time about it, but he doesn't punish her and he actually puts up with his silly outfit for the time being. And Naala isn't the typical, spineless, obedient servant. She's incredibly childish and naive, she's not the least bit evil and obviously, she isn't all that scared of her master, either. She probably knows his soft spot and uses that to her advantage.

I'm trying to make my characters lovable and more "alive", by adding little odd twists here and there. When I read a story, I'm usually trying to find a character who is a little bit like me, so I can relate and maybe identify myself a little bit with them. And we all have weaknesses, we all contradict ourselves a little bit here and there. I couldn't read about a fearless, invincible hero or a plain, evil sorcerer with no personality at all and think, "Wow, that character is just like me!" Anyhow, enough babbling, I have another chapter to write! :hehe:

Chapter 2 certainly didn't dissapoint!

It's really refreshing to read a well-written fan fic with a healthy balance of comedy and action.

I love the way the characters are each being developed, and I'm really looking foward to our next instalment!