I think that its actually pretty funny, but I'm getting all of the Mages guild recommendations, and the lady at the Anvil Mages guild tells me that this will be a harsh and tough "undertaking". I, however, being the leader of the Fighters guild, Dark Brotherhood, Thieves guild, and being Champion of Cyrodil, did not. (Conflicting associations much?) I always laugh at stuff like this. Anyone else have similar stories?

Recently I played through the entirety of the Mages Guild questline, but I took a really long time to do so as I was playing very roleplay-heavy, so it would be several days between being given a new task by Raminus, and a lot of time spent studying in the Arcane University.

I can't tell you how annoying it got when, even at the rank of Master Wizard, the Battlemages would greet me with "Ah, you must be the Arcane University's newest addition!" Despite having been there for MONTHS and out-ranking pretty much everyone else in the University. Only when I became the Arch-Mage did they finally stop.

I remember that through my multiple playthroughs of the mages guild as well.... You also got to love it when the bandits yell out things like, "I've fought mudcrabs fiercer than you!" (This one is used often hehe) and yet they never seem to realize that they are trying to kill the Grand Crusader, Champion of Cyrodil, Madgod, or whatever you might be o.o

It's also amusing to hear bandits/marauders shout "Jump on my sword while you still can!", even though they're using an axe, mace, dagger or bow. Then there's the residents of Anvil. Some of them claim that ships sail from Anvil to Yokuda, even though Yokuda sank into the ocean in "ancient times" (much like Atlantis).

And then there's Jauffre. The guy is an absolute idiot. First, some escaped prisoner brings him the Amulet of Kings, tells him a wild tale and Jauffre trusts him implicitly. I can just imagine the conversation:

Jauffre: "You brought me the Amulet of Kings? Who are you? Explain yourself!"
Player: "Well, it's like this. I was in the imperial dungeon for something I totally didn't do. I was just chillin' in my cell when the Emperor and three of his bodyguards walked in and opened a secret passage. I decided to follow them out through it. No, I wasn't stalking the Emperor, I just wanted to get out of the dungeon. Anyway, some weirdos in red robes attacked us and killed one of the bodyguards. We got separated after that. I wandered through caves and whatnot for a while killin' rats and goblins (and even a zombie, if you can believe that). I met up with the emperor and his two remaining guards just as they were attacked by more of those weirdos. One of his guards was like 'Kill the prisoner, (s)he's one of them' and the emperor was like 'Naw man, Chill. (s)he's cool'. So we kept goin' and gettin' attacked by those weirdos and then we got trapped at a dead end. That redguard guy (Walrus or something) told me to hang with the emperor while he and the other dude fought the weirdos. Then the emperor handed me his bling and told me to give it to you. And then one of those weirdos came through the wall and killed him. So, here I am."
Jauffre: "Cool, I believe you. Hey, since you couldn't keep the emperor alive even with two Blades helping you, would you mind going to Kvatch alone to rescue his only surviving heir?"

And Jauffre's stupidity doesn't stop there. He sends the Player on multiple missions necessary for the survival of Tamriel itself and never once sends even a single Blade along with you. Seriously, WTF?

Must be pretty tough mudcrabs...

Of course, they say "I've fought mudcrabs more fiercesome than you!" while fighting a mudcrab?

It's also always amusing to see guards kill someone in the street, then after a moment check the body, and say "The body's still warm, the killer must be nearby." Well, yes, I'd imagine the killer IS nearby, when the person saying this is the killer.

And of course, occassionally, NPCs use the wrong pronoun when referring to a character, calling a female character "he" or a male character "she", City-Swimmer even says this when speaking of herself.

My favorite was going into a tavern for a Dark Brotherhood mission where I needed to kill the barkeep with an Imperial Soldier in the room. I snuck behind the barkeep while the Soldier's back was turned, and hit him with a single sneak attack so hard that his body flew clear over the bar and past the Soldier. That must be some good ale to just keep on drinking after seeing a body slide across the floor in front of you.

This is the greatest defect of Oblivion, in my opinion. It goes beyond "ignorant npc" and screams "poor story-telling."

There is technically a reasonable explanation for this. Marauders and bandits and the like live outside of general civilization, and might not be aware of things such as the current Grand Champion, Mages Guild Arch-Mage, Champion of Cyrodiil, etc.

Besides, the bandits usually are wearing better armor than I am. You can't blame them for making that mistake.

I agree. Jauffre is the Grandmaster of the freakin' Blades and he just sends some escaped prisoner he'd never even met before on all these vital missions, with absolutely no idea of what skills that prisoner has or his/her level of proficiency in them. It would make a lot more sense for him to send a team of Blades that he's known for years and who have actually done something to earn his trust.

Martin is a pretty big idiot, too. Beware of spoilers!

Years of studying and hard work finally brought my character to the position of Arch Mage of the Mages Guild. Yes, he may be old, tired and aged now, but he is still powerful and brave. He decided to take a stroll through the university one day, watch all the apprentices learning. So inspiring, to see so many young minds being put to good use.

He pleasantly smiles and walks up to one of his scholars and greets them, however they reply with: "Why do the guards insist on letting you rabble inside University grounds? Take your pedestrian gawkery to the Arena! Begone!"

:confused:

As for "I fought mud-crabs more fearsome than you" you need to remember the npcs leveling up with you. That could well have been a level 30 mud-crab with an enchanted shell and deadric pincers.

alleast they stopped they still say that to me.

In Vilverin they ambush merchant carts, and I'm sure all the other bandits and marauders would do "similar" things, or at least get food and water (I don't know how they do this 0.o). It would seem to me that after having annihilated so many groups of bandits and necromancers and conjurers you would think that at least ONE bandit would get the picture and spread the word. (My full madness armor should help be scary enough in its own right o.o)

The answer is simply you have never left anyone alive to tell the tale. Dead bandits cannot warn anyone about you.

Meh. I doubt that any one person could be that badly informed that this crazy guy in WTF?!?!? looking armor is charging us with a purple sword. By now its a moot point, IMHO its all on your opinion. The Storyline "issue" pointed out by The Vyper is pretty funny though. Although I must admit, when you came to him with the amulet, he could really do anything but trust you, at least I think. Oh well, I just tried to get out of the shivering isles jail on exactly half difficulty and got my rear end handed to me by one grummite

Long-distance communication doesn't seem to be very effective in Cyrodiil (news being carried by a single rider galloping as fast as they can, for example, instead of a caravan with many leaflets...), especially to areas where there isn't any civilization. The Black Horse Courier is available in cities and if you happen to catch the rider. Even if one bandit knows who you are (it's possible, maybe someone from the civilized parts of Cyrodiil turned rogue and went off to live with bandits or they raided a caravan that happened to be carrying a copy of the BHC), why would they spread the word to anyone outside of their own "troop"? It would actually be beneficial for that one bandit if you killed off all the other bandits, so that they have more areas to raid in peace. You see different hostile NPCs fighting each other all the time, so apparently they aren't very close, either.

Also, I might question bandits' and marauders' literacy. It could always be that they can't read, making the BHC useless, and they never encounter "civil" NPCs long enough to hear anything other than "JUMP ON MY SWORD WHILE YOU STILL CAN" or "YOU MOVE LIKE A PREGNANT COW", so the latest news don't spread that way. :shrug:

And, as mentioned before, if Mages Guild members don't realize they're talking to the Arch-Mage, I don't expect bandits and marauders to... They don't have photographs in Cyrodiil, so it could be that they've only heard/read your name, and never seen a rendering of your physical attributes. If you don't say who you are, they might have a tough time recognizing you. Another point to the marauders, whom you never chat with, just attack.

Very true, Very true.... But personally, I don't care how much group morale you have, full madness armor + fearless redguard charging my bandit compadres, I would run like hell xD

And lets not forget, Jauffre decided to keep the Amulet of Kings safe by hiding it in his sock drawer :facepalm:

I would have considered that a valid explanation if I didn't walk into Cheydinhal the day after closing the first Oblivion gate and be hailed with "Oh look, it's the Hero of Kvatch!"

How come the news travels blazing fast for certain events, but slow as hell in others? I walk into a prison in Bruma where some guy has apparently been kept for a while, but he starts a conversation with the guard talking about the slaughterfest that happened in Anvil.

The guard was shocked to hear the news. :facepalm:

Even some criminal rotting in a cell knows stuff that free people don't!

I have another story from the Mages Guild and one from the Fighters Guild.
In the Mages Guild I was sent to Skingrad to fetch a book(you guys know what I'm talking about) and ended up being accused for being unknown despite being the most famous person in the world, having all other titles than Arch-Mage.
In the FG the recruiter in Blackwood Company accused for being weak even if I was the Grand Champion and Champion of Cyrodiil and The Divine Crusader. I don't think they ever get out their respective Guild Halls ever.

I have one...

I was robbing a bookstore somewhere, there where so many shelves with valuable books. The owner wakes up and then rushes to me and says "you shouldn't be here" and the dumb store owner did not see that there was nothing in the shelves, yet they only question me about trespassing...

This deserves a laughing-out-loud moment

I don't really know how to do one of the spoiler things so
SPOILER ALERT!!!


If you kill somebody after completing the knights of the Nine quest and go to the Shivering Isles, people greet you with "I used to think you were a hero, but now I see that you're no different than all the rest of us." or something like that.


END SPOILER

This.

I walk into a pub and wreak havoc. I burst in through the door waving my sword around, jump onto the table and kick all the cutlery in the faces of the patrons, pull out random trash from my inventory like some year old copy of the Black Horse Courier and toss it around the place along with my other useless stuff, then I start damaging their stuff by slicing at the chairs and walls. Stepping in food and kicking bottles around, and that's not even the worst of it. . . However, no one says a word, they continue their conversations and act as if I'm not even there. Some dumb-ass even has the audacity to pleasantly greet me while I'm in this state of anguish!

After I'm done raging. I decide to cool it and apologize. Lowering myself, I decide to pick up one of the bottles I kicked from the table in the back into the bartenders face. The second I touch it I hear a customer yell "Guards! Guards, there's a thief on the loose!"

:facepalm: