These frogmen are as generous as they are ugly!

By the Gods -- that's VERY VERY VERY GENEROUS!

i have noticed. Perhaps ill join you on that last part?

FART?

yes, that just happens to be the "last part" of your previous statement, you fickled oaf

You insolent whelp!

FART it is -- but have you know my backside has played a mistrel's song in many taverns from sea to mountain! I have been called the Pied Piper of Pee-Yew, the Muse of Murky Mists, The Wind-Strumentalist, and my favorite -- The Almost [censored] His Pants Barbarian!

Many a fair lady has asked me -- "How can you make such beauty from such a sour note?" To which I respond -- "Wanna screw?"

so... you take pride in your farts? befuddled idiot...

and were you successful in wooing the fair lady?

Huh... So what is this? A skyrim Duke Nukem? Fine then, I will say to you what I said to him. Your balls of steel cannot stand the heat of commitment! HAH! just try and best that!

I'm sure I was successful -- though I can't remember you bastard! What are you my half-witted chronicler!? Or one of my whiny sons with never enough pocket money to fart his own tune!

The art behind the fart is one only a Man can master. I believe Nord's are generally qualified as men upon birth. Even the women. Especially the women.

Once there was a foolish Nord,
Who passed his gas.
When he went to Riverwood,
There wind flew from his ass.

Enraged by his insolence,
An orc stood, roaring.
"You foolish buffoon! I would lash out,
But beating on fools is boring!"

The Nord responded,
Not to anybody's surprise.
By tooting his instrument,
And taunting all the guys.

The orc shook his head,
And drew his axe.
The Nord smiled dumbly,
Worse than a collector of tax.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"
Shouted the crowd.
The orc responded,
"NOT SO LOUD!"

The guards burst in,
"STOP RIGHT THERE!"
"Resist arrest." The Nord said,
His voice not so fair.

And so the orc stated,
"The source of this quarrel, is his ass."
The law was obliged
And silenced was the Nords gas.

All because he couldn't,
Despite his efforts, contain,
The gas in his bowels,
Did he suffer such pain.


I made that WHOLE poem ON THE SPOT. Me-1, Barbarian-0

You are very right on your score, Petunia... You are minus 1 and I am minus 0... Probably true with women as well... Even if they know I'm a complete Zero, there's still worse in Mr. Minus One... But good poem for chuckle

I sure as hell hope that I am not the spawn such a fool...

I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than you!

Leave it to a Nord to not know how to read.

"I made that WHOLE poem ON THE SPOT. Me-1, Barbarian-0"

Barbarian -0 , You -2

Drink up -- fools...

are you sure you know how to count? need me to help?

Thou uncouth ruffian hath insulted me by inferring that he holds more mental intellect than I. Shall we draw rapiers at dawn? Verily, I will prove my superiority a second time. In the mean time, study thy Arithmetic, so thou can count the times I hath slashed thee in your time in the bowels of Hell.

Good day, sir.

ill bring the popcorn

This Nord knows of negative numbers? Oh my, maybe he is smarter than originally perceived... anyways, if he fails in gutting you, i will step in a personally finish the job myself

Have you no eyes with which to read literature, ruffian? Have you not studied proper writing. If I were to say Me1 Barbarian0, I would like QUITE the fool, much like yourself. But since I was educated in the use of English and language, I know to separate those words and numbers with hyphens, what I used. So, please study your arithmetic and grammar, so that you may understand the insults I hurl at thee and the wounds your foolish body receive in our duel. Have at thee, uncouth fool, for you have insulted me for the last time, in your drunken stupor.

If thou lack the ability to wield a weapon of precision and skill, I demand a dual of longswords. I challenge thee, hooligan, to meet me on the top of Dive Rock, sword in hand.

A woman wizard named ... Uh... I can't remember... Once spoke of this mystical (-) rune. She explained the manner of my lovemaking as a value below ZERO. As fascinating as this lesson was, it was a bitter understanding of the ways of woman. Though I find all female wizards talk too much!

All females talk to much

By chance- be you a woman wizard hidden under your cloak? If so -- I am sorry -- and... May I buy you a drink on the Frogman's tab? He has surely had enough, sitting in a puddle of his own ooze...

*stabs barbarian* Alcohol is for the weak!