Jokes : Othor Games

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:14 pm

I don't get it. :confused:

He put hairspray on his "worm" to get it stiff and put it back where it belongs

Last one for tonight:
A gynaecologist gets bored with his work (Yeah...) and decided to re-school himself as a painter. His painter master gets curious one day about his pupils work and calls the firm to check up on him. "Oh he is simply AMAZING! We have no one better. Send more of his kind. He's painted and wallpapered THREE apartments... Through the mail slot!"

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:50 am

I don't get it. :confused:

We'll tell you when you're older.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak

:shakehead:

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:30 pm

And, as the friend of the inventor of the feces-powered helicopter said: "That [censored] will not fly."

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:04 pm

He put hairspray on his "worm" to get it stiff and put it back where it belongs

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! HAHAHA that is funny......and gross.... LOL

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 12:48 pm

An Irishman walks out of a bar. :laugh:

Also, @this isn't my name: Not even half of Ireland is british, more like 1/5 of it, actually. Also, if you were to go to Ireland and refer to it as British, I don't imagine it would be very well received.

Anyway, back to the jokes

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:55 am

A priest, a Rabbi, and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The barman says, "Get the hell out of here, I've heard this one before!"

Ha, I like this one.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:40 am

How many wasps does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler

One

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 1:34 pm

Electron tells his friend Quark that he thinks he's got cancer.

Quark replies, "Are you positive?"

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:53 am

Two rednecks are sitting on their porch with a dog. The dog bends down and starts licking his umm ... private area. The first redneck watches the dog for a second and says "Boy howdy Clem, I sure do wish I could do that." The other redneck says, "No you don't Cleetus, he bites."

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:52 pm

Electron tells his friend Quark that he thinks he's got cancer.

Quark replies, "Are you positive?"

:laugh: That is good!

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:02 pm

This is another from the app I have for my Droid:

One day, curious little Susie asked her mom where all the people came from. Her mom tells here that a long time ago God created Adam and Eve and they had kids, and so on. She asks her dad the same question and he explains the theory of evolution. Then she asks her mom why she said we were created by God and daddy say we came from monkeys. Her mom replies: "Well I explained my side of the family, and your dad explained his."

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:58 pm

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

Spoiler

A flat miner.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:33 am

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

Spoiler

A flat miner.

:rofl: That is amazing!
This is a good thread!

» Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:02 am

How many wasps does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler

One

Oh if we're starting these then I have one we all can relate to. (well most of us)

How many Gamestop employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler

Three. One to screw in the lightbulb. One to ask you if you'd like to pre-order a new lightbulb. And one to be fat and stand around.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 7:19 pm

Oh if we're starting these then I have one we all can relate to. (well most of us)

How many Gamestop employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler

Three. One to screw in the lightbulb. One to ask you if you'd like to pre-order a new lightbulb. And one to be fat and stand around.

You forgot the one that asks you if you want to subscribe to Bulb Informer.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:35 am

You forgot the one that asks you if you want to subscribe to Bulb Informer.

And the one that tries to convince you to buy the Bulb of The Year Edition.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:47 am

And the one where you buy a brand new lightbulb from them for $60, then after you've had it for a while, you want to trade it in on a new lightbulb. So they tell you they'll give you $5 for it, and then try and sell it to someone else for $55.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:27 pm

And the one that tries to convince you to buy the Bulb of The Year Edition.

Don't forget the Bulb Strategy Guide.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:08 pm

*Clears throat*

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? - It was a blind date

Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple? - She heard it through the graqevine

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well? - She screamed her hands off

Did you hear about the new Helen Keller doll? Wind it up and it walks into walls.

Why did Helen Keller's dog jump off a cliff? - You would too if your name was Uggggrrrrrrggggghhhhh

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her for swearing? - They washed her hands with soap

Did you hear about Helen Keller's new book, "Around the Block in Eighty Days"

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:07 pm

Did you hear about Helen Keller's new book, "Around the Block in Eighty Days"

:rofl: So cruel, yet so funny. That is hiliarious!!!

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 2:34 pm

What does a Polish girl do after she svcks [censored]? - Spits out the feathers

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:05 am

What does a Polish girl do after she svcks [censored]? - Spits out the feathers

:blink: Woah.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:33 pm

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:51 pm

*Clears throat*

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? - It was a blind date

Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple? - She heard it through the graqevine

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well? - She screamed her hands off

Did you hear about the new Helen Keller doll? Wind it up and it walks into walls.

Why did Helen Keller's dog jump off a cliff? - You would too if your name was Uggggrrrrrrggggghhhhh

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her for swearing? - They washed her hands with soap

Did you hear about Helen Keller's new book, "Around the Block in Eighty Days"

Why Couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Spoiler

She was a woman.

» Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:55 pm

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

:rofl: Hahaha!!!!

Why Couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Spoiler

She was a woman.

That is win. And so true! :laugh: