Journey Of A Vault Dweller

Post » Fri May 27, 2011 7:29 pm

Chapter One
This Chapter Details Alex Kane's Escape From Vault 101


Alex Was Awaken By Screaming And Gunfire , Alex's Long Time Friend Amata Rushed Into The Room , She Told Alex His Father Was Gone , He Had Left The Vault , Alex Was Stunned With Disbelief, She Told Alex Her Fathers Guards Are Looking For Him , Right After That Sentence H Knew He Had to Leave , He Couldn't Be Stuck In That Vault Any Longer , He Had To Break Out , He Just Had Too Too . He Didn't Know What He Would Do When He Left But He Knew Anything Was Better Then Being Stuck In This God Forsaken Vault Being Hunted Like An Animal , He Had To Leave No Matter What The Cost. He Pushed Past Amata And Walked Towards His Dresser, He Opened A Drawer And Pulled Out A 10mm Pistol That Alex Stole From The Security Office Several Weeks Ago Just Encase Butch Harassed Him Again, He Loaded It , Amata Turned To Alex And Said " Please Don't Do Anything Drastic " , He Replied With , "Im Not Making Any Promises" And With That He Left The Room . As He Opened The Door To The Hallway In The Next Room He Was Greeted By Gunfire , Officer Kendall Was Firing at Three Radroaches, He Snuck Around Kendall, Hoping He Didn't Notice Alex , Once He Got Out Of Kendall's Sight He Started To Run Down The Hallway As Fast as He Could , He Ran Right Into Butch , Butch Told Alex His Mom In Danger , He Was Begging For Him To Go Save Her . Alex Thought For a Minute Then Said "Fine I'll Help , But It Comes With A Price..." Butch Replied With "Whatever It Takes , Just Go Save My Mom" , Alex Dashed Threw The Rooms Until He Found Butch's Mother. Alex Quickly Dispatched Of The Roaches With His 10mm , Butch Rushed Into The Room , And Hugged His Mom And Then Turned To Face Alex, " What Was The Price You Were Talking About Eariler? ", "This" , and With That Alex Shot Butch In The Arm ; Then Muttered "Your Welcome" And Ran out Of The Room Thinking To Himself "Butch Deserved So Much More Than That For All The Things He Did Too Me , But I Cant Kill Him , He Is One Of The Only People Know Who Still Likes Me."

Alex Continued Running Down The Halls Constantly Thinking About His Father , "Why Did He Leave And Where Is He Going". He Kept Running Though , Up and Down Stairs , Through Doors , He Started To hear Voices , They Were Amata's And Her Father's , They Were Coming From Up Ahead Around The Corner. He Crouched Down And Continued Around The Corner , He Saw A Door On The Left Side Of The Hallway , There Was A Window To The Left Of The Door , Alex Slowly Moved Under The Window , Once He Was Under It He Slowly Raised His Head To See What was Going On . Alex Saw One Of The Evilest Things He Had Seen So Far In His Life , Amata's Father And Security Officer Mack Were Interrogating Her , Alex Couldn't Let That Stand , He Barged Into The Room And Shot Mack 4 Times In The Head , And Turned To Face The Overseer . The Overseer Was Shocked , Alex Raised His Gun To The Overseer , The Overseer Said " Go Ahead Kill Me , It Will Only Prove My Point That Your Twisted and Hell-Bent On Destroying This Vault ,
"Im Not Going To Kill You But Im Not Going To Leave With Out Giving You A Warning" , " Oh A Warning , Im So Scared " And As Soon As He Ended That Sentence Alex Aimed Down And Shot Him Right In Groin , " If You Ever Hurt Amata I Will Come Back And Kill You , Slowly And Painfully , And Now Hopefully You Wont Be Able To Create Any Kids That Might Turn Out To Be Like You when Your Older"

Amata Ran Off To The Next Room And Sat Down At The Table Crying , Alex Continued To Try And Find The Vault Exit , Alex Pressed The Button To Open The Next Door And Was Horrified At What He Saw , Jonas's Dead Body Lying On The Floor , Alex Walked Over To The Body And Noticed A Holotape Next To Jonas , Alex Bent Over And Picked It Up , It Was Titled "For My Boy" , He Pressed The Start Button

"By Now You Have Noticed Im Gone , I Know You Are Full Of Questions and Want Answers , All I Can Tell You Is I've Gone To Do Bigger Things with My Life , Id Rather Die Out In The Wasteland Being Able To Make My Own Choices Than Stuck In Here Healing Peoples Woulds all Day , Good Bye Son , Please Dont Try To Follow Me , The Vault Is Safer For You.

Best Regards Your Father , James Kane"

Alex Dropped The Tape Crying , He Started To Run Again Wiping The Tears From His Eyes As He Ran , He Ran Right Into The Overseers Office Without Noticing It , Alex Remembered His Dad Told Him About A Secret Tunnel In The Overseer's Office activated By The Terminal Behind The Desk The James Found While Doing Some Snooping A Couple Weeks Ago . He Turned On The Terminal , It Said It Needed A Past Word , Alex Had 4 Attempts To Find It Before It Locked him Out Of The System , First He Tried Overseer , It Was Wrong , Then He Tried Ruler , It Was Wrong , Then He Thought Of His Daughter Amata , He immediately Typed In The Password "Amata" Then He Saw The Words " Password accepted" , He Activated The Passage And Went In . He Arrived At The Vault Entrance , And Was Greeted By Amata , They Said There Goodbyes , Amata Opened The Vault Door , And Alex walked Through The Vault Door Towards The Exit , When He Heard

"There She Is , Grab her!" He Turned Around Only To See Three Security Guards Haul Amata Back Into The Vault And Then The Vault Door Close...

To Be Continued!!!

This Was Obviously My First Attempt At A Fan Fic , But I Think I Did Pretty Good , This First Chapter Was A Little boring But The Next Parts Will Be Better

If I Made Any Grammer Mistakes Except For Constant Caps , Feel Free To Tell me

And Any Advice Would Be Helpful


Edit ~ I Took Out The Italics because Of What Aussie Made Said
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suniti
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 3:30 am

Lol why is "Male area" in spoiler tags?
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R.I.p MOmmy
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 2:54 am

Chapter One
This Chapter Details Alex Kane's Escape From Vault 101


Alex Was Awaken By Screaming And Gunfire , Alex's Long Time Friend Amata Rushed Into The Room , She Told Alex His Father Was Gone , He Had Left The Vault , Alex Was Stunned With Disbelief, She Told Alex Her Fathers Guards Are Looking For Him , Right After That Sentence H Knew He Had to Leave , He Couldn't Be Stuck In That Vault Any Longer , He Had To Break Out , He Just Had Too Too . He Didn't Know What He Would Do When He Left But He Knew Anything Was Better Then Being Stuck In This God Forsaken Vault Being Hunted Like An Animal , He Had To Leave No Matter What The Cost. He Pushed Past Amata And Walked Towards His Dresser, He Opened A Drawer And Pulled Out A 10mm Pistol That Alex Stole From The Security Office Several Weeks Ago Just Encase Butch Harassed Him Again, He Loaded It , Amata Turned To Alex And Said " Please Don't Do Anything Drastic " , He Replied With , "Im Not Making Any Promises" And With That He Left The Room . As He Opened The Door To The Hallway In The Next Room He Was Greeted By Gunfire , Officer Kendall Was Firing at Three Radroaches, He Snuck Around Kendall, Hoping He Didn't Notice Alex , Once He Got Out Of Kendall's Sight He Started To Run Down The Hallway As Fast as He Could , He Ran Right Into Butch , Butch Told Alex His Mom In Danger , He Was Begging For Him To Go Save Her . Alex Thought For a Minute Then Said "Fine I'll Help , But It Comes With A Price..." Butch Replied With "Whatever It Takes , Just Go Save My Mom" , Alex Dashed Threw The Rooms Until He Found Butch's Mother. Alex Quickly Dispatched Of The Roaches With His 10mm , Butch Rushed Into The Room , And Hugged His Mom And Then Turned To Face Alex, " What Was The Price You Were Talking About Eariler? ", "This" , and With That Alex Shot Butch In The Arm ; Then Muttered "Your Welcome" And Ran out Of The Room Thinking To Himself "Butch Deserved So Much More Than That For All The Things He Did Too Me , But I Cant Kill Him , He Is One Of The Only People Know Who Still Likes Me."

Alex Continued Running Down The Halls Constantly Thinking About His Father , "Why Did He Leave And Where Is He Going". He Kept Running Though , Up and Down Stairs , Through Doors , He Started To hear Voices , They Were Amata's And Her Father's , They Were Coming From Up Ahead Around The Corner. He Crouched Down And Continued Around The Corner , He Saw A Door On The Left Side Of The Hallway , There Was A Window To The Left Of The Door , Alex Slowly Moved Under The Window , Once He Was Under It He Slowly Raised His Head To See What was Going On . Alex Saw One Of The Evilest Things He Had Seen So Far In His Life , Amata's Father And Security Officer Mack Were Interrogating Her , Alex Couldn't Let That Stand , He Barged Into The Room And Shot Mack 4 Times In The Head , And Turned To Face The Overseer . The Overseer Was Shocked , Alex Raised His Gun To The Overseer , The Overseer Said " Go Ahead Kill Me , It Will Only Prove My Point That Your Twisted and Hell-Bent On Destroying This Vault ,
"Im Not Going To Kill You But Im Not Going To Leave With Out Giving You A Warning" , " Oh A Warning , Im So Scared " And As Soon As He Ended That Sentence Alex Aimed Down And Shot Him Right In
Spoiler
Male Area
, " If You Ever Hurt Amata I Will Come Back And Kill You , Slowly And Painfully , And Now Hopefully You Wont Be Able To Create Any Kids That Might Turn Out To Be Like You when Your Older"

Amata Ran Off To The Next Room And Sat Down At The Table Crying , Alex Continued To Try And Find The Vault Exit , Alex Pressed The Button To Open The Next Door And Was Horrified At What He Saw , Jonas's Dead Body Lying On The Floor , Alex Walked Over To The Body And Noticed A Holotape Next To Jonas , Alex Bent Over And Picked It Up , It Was Titled "For My Boy" , He Pressed The Start Button

"By Now You Have Noticed Im Gone , I Know You Are Full Of Questions and Want Answers , All I Can Tell You Is I've Gone To Do Bigger Things with My Life , Id Rather Die Out In The Wasteland Being Able To Make My Own Choices Than Stuck In Here Healing Peoples Woulds all Day , Good Bye Son , Please Dont Try To Follow Me , The Vault Is Safer For You.

Best Regards Your Father , James Kane"

Alex Dropped The Tape Crying , He Started To Run Again Wiping The Tears From His Eyes As He Ran , He Ran Right Into The Overseers Office Without Noticing It , Alex Remembered His Dad Told Him About A Secret Tunnel In The Overseer's Office activated By The Terminal Behind The Desk The James Found While Doing Some Snooping A Couple Weeks Ago . He Turned On The Terminal , It Said It Needed A Past Word , Alex Had 4 Attempts To Find It Before It Locked him Out Of The System , First He Tried Overseer , It Was Wrong , Then He Tried Ruler , It Was Wrong , Then He Thought Of His Daughter Amata , He immediately Typed In The Password "Amata" Then He Saw The Words " Password accepted" , He Activated The Passage And Went In . He Arrived At The Vault Entrance , And Was Greeted By Amata , They Said There Goodbyes , Amata Opened The Vault Door , And Alex walked Through The Vault Door Towards The Exit , When He Heard

"There She Is , Grab her!" He Turned Around Only To See Three Security Guards Haul Amata Back Into The Vault And Then The Vault Door Close...


To Be Continued!!!

This Was Obviously My First Attempt At A Fan Fic , But I Think I Did Pretty Good , This First Chapter Was A Little boring But The Next Parts Will Be Better

If I Made Any Grammer Mistakes Except For Constant Caps , Feel Free To Tell me

And Any Advice Would Be Helpful


Um, yeah it was ok... But it did seem a little rushed. You basically told us the beginning of the game we all love, which is why we are here on these forums. But in different words. My advice - Keep away from LW's story, try and create something original...
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Jah Allen
 
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Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:09 am

Post » Fri May 27, 2011 9:19 pm

Lol why is "Male area" in spoiler tags?



Some Of The People Are "Younger" , So I Put It In Spoiler Tags But Put It In A Way They would Understand it Though
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Baby K(:
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 10:44 pm

Lol why is "Male area" in spoiler tags?


Good story, but Last Best Hope has a point. It's safe to say groin. Possibly crotch, maybe even family jewels. Of course, as long as you don't say any slang or possibly the medically correct word, you should be fine. :D

EDIT: Ah, but in the bright side, it is considered PG-13 here, so you should be safe.
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CYCO JO-NATE
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 6:07 pm

Disco, that was alot of unnecessary quoting. Lol.
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Haley Merkley
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 7:28 pm

Um, yeah it was ok... But it did seem a little rushed. You basically told us the beginning of the game we all love, which is why we are here on these forums. But in different words. My advice - Keep away from LW's story, try and create something original...


I Have already Planned All The Chapters , It Has Nothing To Do With Project Purity , Vault 112 , vault 87 , Docter Li , Or Three Dog , And Almost all Other Parts Of The Main Story Line


P.S ~ I Planned It Out From End To Beginning And I Couldn't Think Of a Beginning That went With My end Better Than This One
P.S.S ~ Sorry If I Double Posted
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Tracy Byworth
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 6:25 am

Disco, that was alot of unnecessary quoting. Lol.


Yeah ;) Im an unnescesary person :D even now when I go to the dentist I ask for a sticker :D
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Mimi BC
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 5:37 am

I Will Be Posting The Next One Within 18 hours From Now And Then Another Within 24 Hours from Now
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Mariaa EM.
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 8:43 pm

The italics make it hard to read, I can't tell if one person is talking or many. It's also a new line for every new character that speaks.
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Mylizards Dot com
 
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Post » Sat May 28, 2011 8:21 am

Yeah ;) Im an unnescesary person :D even now when I go to the dentist I ask for a sticker :D



Me too! And i'm 19. :D And whenever I go to the bank, I ask for a lolipop. :D Its so much fun!
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Lady Shocka
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 6:10 pm

The italics make it hard to read, I can't tell if one person is talking or many. It's also a new line for every new character that speaks.


I Changed It To Regular , Also I Really Like Your Fan Fic Its Awesome
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Jaylene Brower
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 11:29 pm

I really would advise not capitalizing each word. It makes it read like theres a pause after every word, which is annoying, and it makes you look unintelligent.
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Siidney
 
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Post » Fri May 27, 2011 6:37 pm

it makes you look unintelligent.



That Was Uncalled For :slap: , I Don't Know Why I Do It I Guess Its Just A Habit :shrug: , I Also Can Type Faster when I Do It , I'll Try Not To Do It Too Much Any More Mainly Because Of People Telling Me Their Surprised My Shift Key Hasn't Broken Yet...
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