Actually, you hit the nail on the head. I do blow off limbs and watch my victims bleed out or try to crawl to kill me. It's just lil' ole' me and the way I play.
I'm not trying to justify the slaughter or anything else and I do agree that F4 (and all Beth games for that matter) are pretty bloodthirsty and violent.
My only point was that I don't HAVE to go around wantonly killing everything in my path. Pacifying enemies (Kynes Peace and Pacify or Calm in Skyrim) or pacify and charm in F4 is just another method I use. I like to use the Cloud Syringer in my syringer gun and just leave sometimes.
Since these are my 4th & 5th playthroughs, I realize that there are a lot of situations where I just don't really care to kill everybody and sometimes I just want to.
I agree that the plot drives you to a lot of killing. My point was that it isn't just KILL! KILL! KILL! unless you make it that way.
Be honest. When you played F3 or FNV or Skyrim or Oblivion or any other Beth Game, did you always follow the plotlines and questlines through? I know I didn't. Sometimes I just created a character to live in the game.
I can justify just about anything in the RPG environment. Maybe the whole beginning was just a bad dream. With Skyrim, sometimes I'll play on PC just to use the "Start Another Life" mod and start somewhere else with different motivations.
I use my imagination and creativity and don't sweat the small stuff.
I suppose my level 40 girl should really be looking for her kid at this point, but she has other things to do. She's exploring, enjoying her companions, building settlements, getting rich, building relationships, finding farms, helping people, killing people... It doesn't matter. It's just a game that I'm enjoying. I'm not going to take it so seriously.
I'm an author. I make sh** up all the time! I twist the truth and the plot and the motivations to suit me, not twist myself to suit them.