Well unlike you, I won't act childish...

You're all acting childish, just for arguing. Let Ghoul write his story, and he'll let you write yours.

In the name of the webspinner... Zalphon and ghoul: stop it.

Zalphon, mind your manners. You've been here long enough to know that that's not how you give feedback. Calling a story "boring" tells the author nothing (if you get bored and absolutely need to tell the author so, then explain why). And ghoul has a point... if you haven't read everything, you're not really equipped to judge the work as a whole. Yes, you can judge what you've read so far, but that doesn't necessarily speak for the rest of it.

And ghoul... I'm not going to give you a lecture on forum etiquette or anything, because I'm not a mod, and that's not my job. But seriously... biting back at Zalphon like that? It's childish, and just escalates things. If you really don't care what he says, then let it go. Learn how to keep your head when you're challenged, or every thread you make here is just going to degenerate into bickering like this.

You both have a tendency to type before you think about how it sounds. Have a little tact, and try to consider the feelings of the people you're addressing. We're in this together, here. :nono:

As for the whole feedback issue... that's just how things go here. Amount of feedback is inversely proportional to story length. If you're starved for readers, there's nothing wrong with pming friends or active critiquers, pointing them toward a new update or something. I get plenty of PMs to that effect, and I'm always happy to help out.

I tend to let stories build up a buffer of chapters between readings, so that I have a lot to read through in one go. That's what I've been doing with most of the active ones here... but if you want feedback, ghoul, I'll be willing to give it. :twirl:

I am not good at titles at all, so probably deserve that. Even worse are my chapter titles; it is a definate flaw. Hopefully my story makes up for it, and I appreciate that you pointed out that the story could be good in spite of the title.

By the way, I enjoy your writing. It is an easy read; plus I love the Oblivion worlds anyway. I always wished someone would mod living quarters in an Oblivion gate that you could come and go from - one of the fixed gates.

@Acadian - I really appreciate your defense of Maxical's Journey, thank you!

Well personally If i judged story's by name's i would never have read alot of my favourite story's on here but you should never judge a book by its cover and personally if i were ever to write a fanfic my story title would be terrible i mean i have trouble thinking up names for my characters!!!! But no on a serious note this is one of only 4 story's i read (Buffy's ,Maxical, Yours and Nathan) mainly because its different and i wish it had been thought up before!!!!

How did I see that coming?

Anyway, as much as I'd like to update, I probably can't, due to getting in some trouble at school. Sorry to the people who actually read this and enjoy it, especially guests who might really like the story but can't post anything at all. Looks like we can't find out what happens to Morrowind for another week or so.

As i stated in my above post i do really like this thread and my post was just stating my thoughts and if you've got a problem with that i dont care but you just highlited the one bit of critism and ignored the good!!!

But back on the story i am as you put it "people who actually read this and enjoy it" and am looking forward to your next entry.

Okay, I'm prepared for another update, but I haven't played Morrowind and I need someone to post a lin to where I could find Morrowind info or if you guys could tell me about some major cities in Morrowind. I'm going to add a ton of new cities, but I'll include some old ones too.

Don't add major cities, friend, and I look forward to the update to learn about our dremora hero!

Vivec - Vvardenfell's main city
Mournhold - Capital of Morrowind
Balmora - House Hlaalu Council Seat
Ald'Ruhn - House Redoran Council Seat
Sadrith Mora - House Telvanni Council Seat
Suran - Hlaalu City
Tel Mora - Telvanni City
Tel Aruhn - Telvanni City
Gnsis - Settlement in the Ashlands
Maar Gan - Small fishing city

http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:Morrowind

How in the hell could I have expected THAT?

Anyway.. Thanks for the info. Once I look up all that stuff, I'll update.

The Dunmer chanted the words from the scroll, and in seconds, the Dunmer in front of me transformed back to a Dremora. I looked back at the Dunmer.

"You have another twenty-four hours of this spell. If only I could make it last longer.. We're going to be in Morrowind for years, and casting the spell to you every day will be difficult. We will be put together with hundreds of other Dremora and they might notice you. I'll figure something out, though." I said, standing up and sliding my sword into its sheath.

The Dunmer rubbed his wrists, still not used to the rough skin he temporarily had.

"Wait.. My brother- he lives in Morrowind. Now, I know you guys are trying to take over Tamriel, but you can't kill my brother. I mean- he's my brother, I love him. This is all I ask- when we encounter him in Vivec, when we get there, please, PLEASE spare him."

The Dunmer looked into my eyes, desperate for an answer. I sighed, and pressed my thumb and index finger in between my eyes, on the bridge of my nose.

"Fine, but we cannot bring him along with us. I already have you and I can't fully take care of you. All I will do is hide him, and it is all we can do. When we take the city, we will either have to lock him in his home forever, or sneak him out of the city. His best choice is to take a boat out to sea and go as far as he can to another continent. I am sorry, but either way you would never see him again. If you want him to live, you will understand my options."

The Dunmer began sobbing, unprepared for what I had said. He was upset about my decisions, but he knew that I was right. We were preparing to take over the entire continent, and there was nowhere else to go other than attempt sailing to another continent. The sail would take months, maybe years, and he might not make it. But it was the only option, living off of rainwater and fish until land was found.

"Fine, but you can't allow anybody to see us going." he replied.

"What do you mean 'us'?" I questioned.

"I'm going with my brother. I cannot leave him alone at sea. I'm going to help him go to another continent- nothing's going to stop me."

I understood his choice, but it was foolish. He would probably be killed along with his brother trying to get to another continent.

"Well.. If that is what you wish, so be it."

As soon as I said that, the door opened, and the Kynmarcher came in. He had his helmet cradled in his right arm, and his left hand holding onto the hilt of his sword. I immediately stood up straight and faced him.

"Kynval Tkynaz, it is time to go." Kynmarcher Kathutet commanded.

I nodded and put on my helmet and strapped my shield to my back. I beckoned to the Dunmer, and followed Kynmarcher Kathutet out of the room.


****


I stepped out of the portal into Morrowind. I was standing on a large hill, overlooking the wooded land. Trees dotted about, covered in white, and small settlements spread out miles apart. I moved through the crowd of soldiers and approached Kynmarcher Kathutet.

"Orders, sir?" I asked.

He gazed at the land stretched out before him, and turned to me.

"We are near the border of Skyrim and Cyrodiil. We head south-east until we reach a town, we take over that town, and set up camp."

I nodded and moved to the back of the crowd to the Dunmer. Kynmarcher Kathutet shouted to move forward, and the soldiers followed. I found the Dunmer secluded from the rest of the soldiers.

"What's all this cold white substance?" I asked.

"It's called snow. It's frozen rain, and only forms in cold areas." he responded.

I could already tell the armor I was wearing wasn't preventing the cold from getting in. I looked to the sky and noticed that snow was falling from the sky as well. We were walking for a couple of hours in the bitter cold, until we came across a small town. The soldiers stopped, and the Kynmarcher began talking. I couldn't hear, but he soon came towards me.

"Kynval, you're going to go in the town. Kill the people who are useless, and capture the stronger ones. We will use them as slaves to do our work. Bring four men of your choice to aid you."

The Kynmacher moved back to the crowd. I chose Dweukh, Xol, the Dunmer, and a Dremora named Zheikha. The rest of the soldiers waited and made use of the things they had, like cutting down weak and small trees and using them as stools. I led the four into the small town, as quietly as I possibly could.

So.. Ideas? Improvements? Critique? What does this forum have to say for the latest update?

I began sneaking around a small house, and turned the corner to the left. There was a person sleeping against the stone wall of the house, apparently homeless. I drew my knife and approached the man, unknowing of his doomed fate. I quickly shoved the knife into the man's chest, and covered his mouth with my left hand. I repeatedly stabbed until he was dead, then beckoned for the others to come.

"Bowman, up here." I said, awaiting someone to come.

Zeikha came up and got out his bow. He already knew what he had to do, so he flipped he bow horizontally and pulled back an arrow. I watched him let go of the arrow, and the arrow peircing one of the villagers' unproected head. The arrow was shoved deep into the villager's skull, and I could tell that he wasn't getting back up. Making sure nobody else was around, I moved to the front of the house and opened the door. Inside were three people; a male, female, and a child, all sitting at a table, preparing dinner.

The child stared at me, curious of what I was doing in his home. I ran up to the male, and got out my sword.

"What in the Nine are you doing?!" the man shouted.

I pulled the blade to his neck and ripped away, and kicked the chair over. I left the man to bleed to death, and turned to the woman, sliding the sword into her chest. I pulled the sword out, and she began moving her fingers over the wound. Blood came out, and the child began crying. I turned around to see Dweukh come in.

"What's taking so long? Kill the child and we move on!" he yelled.

"I won't kill him, he's a child. You have the honors." I said, sheathing my blade and walking past him.

I closed the door, and after a while of waiting, I could hear the child's bloody screams for help. Dweukh made grunting noises, and then the child was silenced. Dweukh soon came out of the house, and closed the door behind him. I couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of sorrow, the child was finished off without knowing what just happened. I walked to the next house to the right, and burst through the door. As I came in, I kicked snow into the house with my boots. This house only had one man, he was big and burly, and was just exiting a storage room of some sort.

He ran for his war axe on the table, but before he could grab it, I forced my dagger through the top part of his hand into the table. He howled in pain, before grabbing my wrist and pushing my arm away. Dweukh, once again, came in to help. He got out his mace and bashed it into the giant man's head.

"Oofh!!" he shouted as he fell back into the wall.

Dweukh moved to the man, and smashed him a few more times in the head, nearly splitting the skull in half. His body slid down the wall, leaving a long and dark trail of blood, and tumbled to the floor. Xol ran into the house just then.

"We've got company. The town's only two guards are approaching." he said.

I went to see what he was talking about, and saw the two guards running to us, unsheathing metal swords. I came outside and readied my sword as well. The guard, who had dark skin, attacked Zeikha. They clashed swords in a small duel, but Zeikha's blade slipped off the edge of the guard's sword. The guard slashed his blade at Zeikha's stomache, tearing part of the obsidian. He slashed again, except this time it cut through and opened Zeikha's stomache. Organs and blood spilled out as he tumbled to the ground, reddening the snow.

The guard cheered as if he were all high and mighty, before the Dunmer ripped the guard's exposed neck behind his head, the part the rusted helmet didn't cover. The guard's head tipped foward, and his body slammed head-first into the logs of the cabin. The other guard dropped his sword and began running the other direction in fear. Xol charged the guard and pounced him to the stone ground, cracking bits of the guard's teeth. Xol repeatedly slashed away until the guard didn't move anymore.

"Village cleared?" Dweukh asked.

"Yes, village cleared." I responded before making my way back to the other soldiers.

I came into the clearing to where they all had been sitting and awaiting orders. They noticed us come back.

"The village is cleared, it is suitable for camp. Although, we could not take any prisoners. Too many hostiles." I told Kynmarcher Kathutet.

He nodded and waved for the soldiers to follow into the small town, where we set up camp for the night setting up fires. Higher ranks slept in the cabins, whil Churls slept outside. We were prepared for the next day.

Okay, I'm about to explode.. Two updates and not one single reply?!!

it happens man. It doesn't mean anything.

Four days since the update, so I update again and STILL no replies. It means something to me.

it doesn't. Some people like to comment after a few updates have piled up, for example. Also, some people avoid commenting if they don't have anymore to say besides good job. This also isn't the busiest forum, so its quite possible anyone planning on commenting hasn't gotten around to it.

How could you just say that what I believe was wrong?

I've been here long enough to know that its never personal if a fan-fic doesn't get comments every update.

Exactly.

Two updates and almost a week gone by.. You're understating this.

m8; just take a look on how few comments I have on my fan-fic.
Stop whining and start writing

Let me ask you something, Ghoul: are you writing for your own enjoyment or just so others can credit you?

If the latter, then I recommend you stop this; you're punishing yourself with work for no reason, and considering how slow these forums are, comments will be rare.

If the former, then don't worry about comments- chances are people are enjoying it. If it means anything, though; the story is good and I hope you keep it up. :goodjob:

:)

I'm not. This forum is just slow. Inactivity is very common.

This frustrates me.. Alot..