No way. My co-worker is an iraqi veteran, and after hearing all his stories, it was pretty clear that the military is no place for a guy like me. And there is no way in hell, someone over me, is gonna get away with yelling in my face. I'd be thrown in the brig in record time.


I'm a dude. Don't just go by my avatar, it's just a way to express my love for them. As for Toni Braxton, yes, I can't listen to her music anymore. Listen to Seven whole days, and Seven whole nights and Spending my time with you and with the knowledge that I recently had a bad breakup, then you'll understand why I must stay away this kind of music. I don't need any reminders. I can definitly say I HAVE WAITED SEVEN WHOLE DAYS AND SEVEN WHOLE NIGHTS, and I HAVE SPENT ALL MY TIME WITH HER. (not yelling at you but when I start talking/thinking about her, I get irritated)

When I want my alone time, I take it. No one takes that from me. But when it is people I LIKE being around, and suddenly they are gone, to hell with my alone time cause I don't wont it.

Well, technically I have joined the herd years ago, but a different animal. You see, I'm more of a carebear fan myself.

I can see my thread is slowly going to degenerate. I will say here and now all of you who have given input on this matter has my eternal thanks. As for rather or not my life will turn around, I don't know.......

which one of these people is you http://www.nakedrobber.com/wp-content/uploads/nakedrobber-bronies.jpg

Nuck.

Good god the amount of coddling in here is sickening.

One big "woe is me" party.

Notice how the people whining about having no life are the people who aren't out there living their lives. They're the ones posting about it on an obscure message board for strangers to see.

Hey, if it make you feel better, that's fine. But maybe making posts like this is likely part of the problem, isn't it?

From your profile it says you're 29. Old enough to know the ways of the world but you're still caught up in this frame of thought? I have a hard time believing that. You sound like a high schooler going through a "nobody like me" phase. Please tell me you're in high school. Please.

I tell ya what, I bet if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself, got a hobby and went out and interacted with the world the problems would solve themselves. Start with the part about not feeling sorry yourself.

There are many people who have less than you that don't feel sorry for themselves.

Enjoy the tough love. You need it.

The problems of one group of people do not negate the problems of another group. He hasn't lived their lives, and can only quantify it according to his own experiences.

Seems more like being a dike than tough love. Hell I dont think you even read the OP.

Well, it would be strange if the people who had lives were whining about having no lives.

Time to start looking beyond your own experiences and looking at the big picture then. You have food, water, shelter. An income. More than many have.

I don't care if he " hasn't lived their lives." Maybe not being able to relate the rest of the world got him in this place to begin with.


I see what you did there.


I did, there just wasn't much to it. Sounds like the OP is crying about having no life and no friends. Let me know if I missed something.

And yes, I am being a (sarcastic) dike. Somebody needs to be. This is a "pity me" thread.

Read the first sentence of the original post "...is a fate worse than death." Give me a break.

I'm afraid that depression is not really conducive to considering what other people have, nor to starting "hobbies".

I did nothing, you posted a daft tautology as if it were a profound observation.

You say depression, I say the inability to get back on the horse. And getting back on the damn horse is exactly what the op needs.

Then what's the alternative? Laying down to die? If a person who is depressed doesn't start looking at the glass half full, nurturing new interests, and attempt to shake off the depression what are they suppose to do?


Uh huh. I know you understood my point so what part of it was inaccurate? If the op spent more time trying to live his life instead of crying about it over some message board he wouldn't have the same problems. Agree or no?

Depression is very, very different from "feeling sorry for yourself".


It's not that it was inaccurate, it's that it was redundant. If he didn't have a problem, he wouldn't have a problem? You don't say.

Kinda harsh but true. It's difficult to escape the cycle of negative thought, trying to dig yourself out of this by using (unfortunately) skewed logic won't help - it'll just lead you to more crazy places...switching off and giving your brain a rest if you can will help more. It's like picking at a scab, you need to ease off it.

Try meditation, maybe medication if you need it...NLP maybe a good idea.

I can count my proper friends who i see once or twice a month (often less) on one hand - that's plenty for me, the rest i keep up with on facebook and that's ok.
I binned a ton of people off my facebook who were people i used to work with etc but I have no respect for, or who were (even just a bit) cruel or [censored]y - i don't have that kind of crap in my life. These people you get thrown together with can have a real negative impact on you if you're not careful - always remember, what others think of you is none of your business, don't begin to entertain it, you'll drive yourself mad if you try and get people to like you. If they don't like you, f**k 'em, it doesn't matter a jot.

This online gaming sounds like a recipe for disaster, from what i gather it's full of obnoxious teenage brats shouting abuse. Bin it.

Self pity is an absolute killer, it will stop you in your tracks every time. Once you learn to take this out of the equation i think you'll be fine.

Good luck.

There are cases of people simply killing themselves because they have no one. It's a need many people have, hell sometimes it's worth more than a life. There's a term for it called social death, where because of losses in a social circle it can be just as big or worse than death. Infant monkeys have been known to die even if all their base needs are being met like food, water, sleep, and shelter. Similar features are in humans, I don't think you realize how important social life is, and how hard it can be to get. Sometimes the worst of all though is when your cast out.

In theory your ideas are good, he should try to interact more. But depression isn't some minor bump in the road, I think the best thing to do is if it's bothering you this bad op that you should see a psychologist at least for a few sessions. They'll be a lot more understanding of what your going through and maybe even have some contacts or resources to get you out there meeting people. I know it seems hard, but sometimes all you can do is keep going and keep trying. Just know I have some hope you'll get through this, overall many people show a resilient nature with a knack for adaptability if given some time and a little bit of a nudge/helping hand. Always stronger together than alone.

I didn't say depression = feeling sorry for yourself. I said it is an unproductive activity that people who can't get back on the horse engage in.

And like I said, what's the alternative?


Lordy, we talkin semantics here or the topic at hand? If it is not inaccurate, does that mean you agree with my "daft tautology?" lol.

I should have just quoted Shawshank Redemption and said "Get busy livin or get busy dying."

I know I'm comin off harsh here, but it is more to light a fire under the op's butt than anything else. Honestly, I struggle with depression at times and the only thing that allows me to shake it off is to tell myself these things.

Even when I do feel depressed I know that no matter how bad it seems you really have to "keep on keeping on."

Rhetoric? Of course it is. But it is still motivational and , IMO, that's what you need when you're depressed. Motivation to change.


Good points there. Maybe I'm selling social acceptance a bit short because I've always been involved with various sub cultures that have always offered their own brand of acceptance.

And hey being a gamer is a subculture, so maybe start there if you're looking for a way to connect with people.

I was actually thinkin about ol' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs when making the comments about having food, shelter, incomes etc. If you have those taken care of it allows you to move on up the pyramid and look for social acceptance.

I think sometimes when a person is depressed they close themselves off to people who offer this social acceptance. Maybe there are friends, family, and co-workers who are actually accessible, but when we are depressed it seems like we are all alone. We think that "no one cares about me," but in actuality we are the ones who have created a seemingly insurmountable barrier between the very people who could offer this social acceptance.

I'll throw out another cliche and say you really have to learn how to love and accept yourself before you can allow others to do so.

I was expecting someone to come at me like this and it is why I almost didn't wont to bother posting this. When I say I have just my mom, I mean just that. Being 29 does not mean I have the answers to all my troubles or any that comes my way. There are those here, that are much wiser and older than I am, hence why I brought this up. This isn't a "woe as me party" and I don't need 'tough love'. This is also the first time I even posted this here. It was so bad that I had to voice it. High schooler? Are you kidding me? High schoolers tend to have internal issues with their parents, and being victims of peer pressure, they fall hard because they often can't trust anybody and rightfully so. Don't stereotype teenagers thinking they create their own holes and use some "Fortify Emo" skill.

I've been here awhile, I don't think it'd be right for me to consider everyone here a "stranger". Atleast there is some degree of familiarity.

This isn't a phase either. Sure I left out a lot of details, simply because that would be too much reading.

Now talking to me like this, is going to you nowhere, unless of course you are looking for an argument, because people who says things like that me, always do that just to get a negative reaction. People like you thrive on kicking people while they are down. Your attitude is nothing new to me.

I don't need the "tough love" and I certainly wont enjoy it, and I don't deserve it.

People who have had "less than me" I never turned a blind eye. And I certainly never came off to them in the way that you and those like you have. Oh btw dude, I've been homeless WITH my mom, and it was me that got us out of that. Some people helped along the way, while your kind did their best to keep us "out of life". I live with her now, because I'm afraid if I move out on my own, her life will fall again, and the family doesn't care much about each other.

Now you've got your negative reaction.

I know I'm three days late and posting in the middle of a typical cd thread digression into "battle of ego and wit", but I simply wanted to second the suggestion about volunteering. Helping others with a greater need trivializes our own problems... Unless you're terminally ill, OP. Then I apologize.

"Just buck up you loser" "There are people starving in Africa" type advice is... how shall I put this... ignorant? In my opinion of course. It doesn't work that way. It's a vicious feedback loop between the part of the unconscious where the emotions live and the anolytical higher part of the brain where you have your "internal monologue". Some people take medication to help rewire it, myself I found that I had to do biofeedback type stuff to reduce anxiety and attack the negative thought patterns directly by letting them dissipate instead of keeping them going. It is a minute-by-minute discipline, not some realization you come to because someone told you something completely obvious.

You can come hang out at my house. I'm dead [censored] serious. I have maybe 3 friends and one is so pvssywhipped I think he has to ask permission to eat let alone hang out with his friends, so I'm right there with ya. Another one of my friends is in serious trouble with CPS and may lose his kids, but still gets [censored] up and smokes weed all the time...I have maybe one normal friend and we hang out once a month. Life is hard my friend, life is hard....and I'm not just repeating Chris Rock stand up quotes. I haven't been laid in nearly ten years and that was a one night stand. I'm not very good at advlt relationships in general since most of my friends are from my childhood. Anyway, I hope things get better for you but you really got to get out there and try, I know that sounds like a [censored] answer but it's really the only way I can see...you gotta put your head out of the hole and check the scene out if you want to make some friends. People svck, they're selfish, conniving and loathsome but if you get lucky you might find a good friend, and maybe a girlfriend out of all the searching. remember, it takes some people a lifetime to find happiness, and if it takes that [censored] long then it makes it that much better in the end.

Why do you need friends to be happy? What part of an interpersonal relationship makes you happy, and is that worth all the fuss you get from not having an interpersonal relationship?

I didn't think so. That's why when I realized that I was miserable because I didn't have friends, I removed the need for friends and became perfectly happy. I got to thinking: why should other people have all this control over how I feel? Why should other people determine everything I think and do? So much drama! Drama when you have them, drama when you don't have them, drama because you don't have them, drama because you have too many of them. What a mess.

The human psyche is incredibly malleable. People become depressed overnight and give no heed to the idea that if their mind can go one way, it can probably go the other way too. All it takes is a little willpower and introspection on your part, and maybe a little http://www.hongfire.com/cg/data/25/caramelldansen.swf, and you can command your own head like it was made of clay.

But if not having friends means you have to listen to stuff like that music, well, it's not a good trade off.

Besides, that music now controls you!

Better that it would be music than it would be man, don't you think?

It doesn't have to be music either, but it doesn't have to be other people too. Why everybody becomes obsessed with realtionships being the end-all-be-all of life and happiness is beyond me, or maybe behind me.

Anyways you get the point. There's more to life.

Yup. I agree with the sentiments that point out you shouldn't need others to make you happy. To me that already denotes an extremely reclusive social life, and one cannot be left alone to their own thoughts, or left in an environment that does not let them grow out of this type of thing. At age 29, however (ironically a single day younger than me, and one of the games he played my wife and I met from), he has to get his own [censored] together, no amount of hugs or kicks in the ass or relationships are going to do it for him.

Failure to understand me.

I have read enough of that.

And stop judging me by my age.

Closed by OP request.

Sometimes life takes some serious dips, and it honestly can feel very alone. But the one thing I have learned through some very difficult times, as well as some very good times, that each day can bring change. Change is neither inherently good or bad, it just is, but when you look back over a thread of days, you see better the meandering path, the peaks and valleys.