A list of idiotic complaints. : V - Skyrim

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 5:38 pm

Why doesn't my horse ever poop. I mean, come on Bethesda! Ever heard of realism.

lol. Iove this one.

Why is there no gore filter in this game? I don't want to see all this blood!
I want a filter that would turn blood into the paintball colors from goldeneye.

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:07 pm

That Moon is so large the tidal effect would be disastrous on the world!

LOL - awesome. I like that one.

I'd like to add that given how (guestimating) small Nirn is and how large that moon is, I should be able to jump much higher and carry a lot more weight... the gravity is totally overrepresented in the physics engine (except when i kick a clay urn like a football)

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:46 pm

Why do guards and bandits and other assorted badies have such drastic memory loss right after they find the bodies of their dead comrades. "...Must be my imagination..." No, it wasn't your imagination! You pal over there, he's dead! I just killed him, and you just discovered the body! How can you just go back to patrolling your post like nothing ever happend!!

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 7:10 pm

Because they dont want people like THIS running around their towns!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fxVeAVl2I8

OH DEAR GOD :eek:

I respectfully resign my intent to lollygag.

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 8:43 pm

Why does nearly every possible guard been an adventure like me but they got hit my an arrow in the knee? Why couldn't just one of been a former merchant and gotten an arrow in the back or in the foot?

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:58 am

How come books only have a few pages each? I expect a full historical and/or folkloric treatise in EVERY VOLUME, with the option to download magical versions to my Kindlestone to read on the go. Anything less is just lazy, Bethesda!

The pages are very thick, a bit like those starter books for kids, because that's all nords can read. "Hurr durr, I haz book! Now I kill it."

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 2:40 pm

Why do guards and bandits and other assorted badies have such drastic memory loss right after they find the bodies of their dead comrades. "...Must be my imagination..." No, it wasn't your imagination! You pal over there, he's dead! I just killed him, and you just discovered the body! How can you just go back to patrolling your post like nothing ever happend!!

Maybe they hope another guard find the body so they don't have to deal with all the paper work

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:57 pm

Why do guards and bandits and other assorted badies have such drastic memory loss right after they find the bodies of their dead comrades. "...Must be my imagination..." No, it wasn't your imagination! You pal over there, he's dead! I just killed him, and you just discovered the body! How can you just go back to patrolling your post like nothing ever happend!!

First person: *stumbles upon body* "Oh my! What happened here?" *reaches down to check for valuables... I mean pulse, casually moves along*
Second person: *stumbles upon body* "Oh my! What happened here?" *checks pulse, casually moves along*
Third person: *stumbles upon body* "Oh my! What happened here?" *checks pulse, casually moves along*
etc...

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 6:43 pm

Why does npcs only read one page then skip five pages, don't they care about what they are reading?
Why does some mages stand outside at the College of Winterhold and reading while there is a snowstorm, don't they freeze?

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:51 pm

Why can't I have a pony like http://i40.tinypic.com/24zys1y.jpg in real life

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:56 pm

"I saw a dead body the other day."
"I know, awful creatures, but their flesh can be rather tasty."

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 11:26 am

Why doesn't my horse ever poop. I mean, come on Bethesda! Ever heard of realism.

And speaking of that, anyone found an outhouse yet? Getting uncomfortable here.

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:19 am

Why doesn't Shadowmere come back when she dies?

Why can't you keep the Skeleton Key?

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 6:07 pm

Why can't I fly?
Why can't I go around enslaving dragons? (seriously though who wouldn't build a stock pile of dragons?)
Why isn't there at least one purple town where someone went mad and painted a town purple?
Why isn't there a unicorn breeder?
Why? just Why?
Why are chickens made to look realistic from afar but up close don't look so well?
Why doesn't anyone make a chicken cross the road joke with a refference to me chasing the chicken?
Why aren't dwemer machines silverish?

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 8:22 pm

Why can't I have a Leopard 2 Main Battle Tank?

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:47 pm

How does Tamriel function when guards out number tax payers at least 10 to 1 and the majority of it's inhabitents are bandits or necromancers?

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:25 am

And speaking of that, anyone found an outhouse yet? Getting uncomfortable here.

Yeah, some of the forts have cubicles with buckets, complete with handy reading material!

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:24 pm

Why is the sky blue?

because god love's the infentry

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 6:41 pm

"After playing Skyrim 100000 hours, I must say, it's a baaaaaad game"

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 4:00 pm

Why I can't I kick those damn mudcrabs? It's not worth taking out my sword.

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:22 am

Why cant i kill everyone, if i kill a main chr fort he stays aggro with me so i cant do the quest line anyways so why not just let me have fun and kill everyone if i fell like it

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:45 am

Why I can't I kick those damn mudcrabs? It's not worth taking out my sword.

Because PETA would be on to you for not giving them an honourable death.

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 11:22 pm

WTF!? WEIGHTLESS Carrots!?

I HATE YOU TODD HOWARD!

Todd: :sadvaultboy:

» Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:05 am

Wow this thread sure exploded..who knew there were so damn many complainers on this forum.

» Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:47 am

Why doesn't sheogorath help me achieve the fishstick? I understand its a delicate state of mind but..

Why does the Oghma Infinium grant my primitive stupid brain a vast wealth of knowledge!?

Why does the Wabbajack make my door a boar and my wheat into a fleet of ships!?!

WHY. DOES. MY. RING. GIVE. ME. BENEFITS!?

Why do bosses not follow me and worship the ground I walk on!? I mean the least they should do is achieve a Hershey's kiss hair do that is yellow.

Why does my face have sideburns?

Why can't I have a hairy ass? I would rather not have a horse now.

WHY. CAN'T. I. BE. A. ROBOT. VIKING. NINJA. ASSASSIN. TEMPLAR. PALADIN. DARK KNIGHT. BLACKGUARD. DAEDRA WORSHIPPING, TALOS HUGGING FIEND-SAINT!?