Why do giants have death star weapons? -OHHAI trophosphere!

Why do dragons' bones have to weigh as much as volkswagens? HOW DO THEY FLY WITH ALL THOSE BONES IN THEIR BODY?!!1!!?!?!

Why does Riften have Indiana Jones-like undercrofts? SO. ANTI. CLIMACTIC.

Why is the Mages' College like every snow fort you've ever dug? THAT IS SOOOO NOT THAT SMALL ON THE OUTSIDE.

Why can't I milk my neighbour's cow?


Why can I conceal 30 deer hides on my body without appearing bloated and getting uncomfortably hot?


Why can't I get a tan?

Why is there no awesome bewbage in Skyrim?

Why don't frost trolls sit underneath frosty bridges? it's immersion breaking, god dammit!

How come Falmer won't barter with me for my magic mushrooms? I thought they liked them..

I drop my sword, my grand soul gem and wait for a dragon to breathe fire at them.. but I don't get an enchanted fire sword! why?!

So I just gained vampirism, but my character doesn't sparkle in the sunlight.. Bethesda should fire their effect guys, this svcks!

My character made a skeever follow him to a mammoth.. but the mammoth doesn't flee? why doesn't Bethesda ever get anything right..

I see a dragonborn argonian doesn't fly. Bethesda obviously didn't have their heads on straight when designing it.

Why isn't Billy Mayes in Skyrim to sell me bathroom cleaning products? My bucket is a [censored] hole.

I feel bad when i buy a house. Those poor frostbite spiders have to move out. No wonder they keep the houses locked 24/7. Why can't we make a deal with the spiders?

Don't feel bad. I had to evict a Frostbite Spider from a tent once. Scared the hell out of me so I had to kill it. True story.

My closest friend is a Frostbite Spider. True story.

Another one of my complaints. Why won't eggs hatch into companions if I carry them for long enough? It would be awesome to have a spider or a chicken or a bird friend.

Why don't the patients in Kynareth Temple use the shrine to cure their diseases instead of lying there moaning that they're ill?

The bard's in any of the inn's in the game can magic a loot out of thin air but why cant they play Firestarter by The Prodigy?

So I am dragonborn.....and this is probably the most important question we should all be asking......what the hell was my father drinking the night I was conceived?!

Some DAYUM good mead.

You can imagine the phone call he got a few months later:

"Darling, I'm pregnant.............of course its yours.............well, I don't know, I guess that elven condem split........well you insisted on not using a dwarven one!"

ROFL in the office and people are staring now... :lmao:

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is just Brilliant!

Who shoots all those arrows to the guardsmen's knees?

Is being hit by arrows in the knee and having cousins out there finghting dragons a prerequisite to be a guard in Skyrim?

Why I always "do come back"?

How can I fus-ro-dah through my helmet without exploding my own head?

If a greybeard ever sneezes is it the end of High Hrothgard?

(not actually complaints but they crossed my mind)

Where's the toilet?

I don't favour the bow!

Why can't your cart take my weight? I'm carrying it... very slowly

Why do all the deadra think I'm their champion?

How come everytime I belch people get all agro

Where's dogmeat?

How come I'm the only one that can kill my friends?

Why arent there any normal cats in skyrim?

Theres no tv? What do all the furniture point towards?

What would happen if a dragon spoke English?

Why am I so good it needs to be harder

Why am I so crap it needs to be easier

Why is everyone so trusting?

Why does my housecarl ask me "Are you lost?" if I enter my own house?

How the [censored] do those warriors from Hammerfell get curved swords? Have you seen them? CURVED. SWORDS.

How come I can get filthy rich by catching butterflies? Their wings are amazing alchemy ingredients!

Instead of buying a house, why can't I sleep in Giants' underwear, whilst they are still wearing them?

I should think I would be well rested.

Why wouldn't they just make morrowind 2 like we all wanted? Instead we get this new crap

zip

Why dont giants have children?

Why isnt there a dragon shout that gets a women instantly in bed with me?!!

Why cant i marry a deadra??? immersion!!!

why cant i ride a mudcrab into battle!!??

why dont i age into a old man that has back problems and ends up in a care home!!? once again immersion!!

why isnt bethesda on speed dial for me when i lose in my game or it doesnt load quick enough!!!

Why can't I accidentally cut myself with my own sword if my skill is low? Realism! Immersion!

Why can't I put my shield on my back? I don't care if it's unrealistic, I want to do it because it was in [name_of_whatever_applicable_game]!!!

WHERE the F is my MILK?! With no milk in the world, nobody should be calling me a milk-drinker! Bethesda, make these NPCs stop calling me milk-drinker or put some gd milk in the world!!!

There's no nudity!

They put in fast travel!!! And quest markers!!! And a compass!!! My game is ruined forever and TES svcks!!!

Master isn't the default difficulty!!!

Nobody in the world can carry/run/talk/breathe/fight with 300 pounds on their body!!! Immersion!!! Realism!!!

There's no hardcoe mode!!! Immersion!!! Realism!!!

Why isn't this more like Morrowind? I wanted TES V: Morrowind 2!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!