whoa... 145 pages.... you have been busy... I have never read this fanfic yet, but I have a feeling I may be in the near future, whenever my rping pals happen to be absent for some odd reason... which happens alot...

Oh, and I will use this no doubt as inspiration for how to write my own upcoming fanfic, I think...

And the downloader worked, I think...

I hope you enjoy it if you get the time to read! And I hope the downloader worked...

And just a warning- I've gotten a lot of people complaining to me that I made them stay up late when they tried to read the story in one sitting- so I advise that you don't attempt to read it in one sitting!

You are giving this warning to a man who read the Sixth Harry Potter book in less than two days. Don't worry, I think I will be fine. I have lost sleep over stories before. Nothing new to me... I can handle it.

Hey, she's giving that warning to me, someone who read the fifth Harry Potter, the longest one, in one sitting, about five hours.

I have just started reading, got to chapter 6, haven;t read that one yet.

I found some spelling errors, which I did take the liberty of fixing. Some words were you used the wrong letter, so spelled the wrong word. "some, not Come" Little tid bits. You spelled Khajiit as 'Khagiit' constantly, though. There are also a few grammar errors, but they looked like something pertaining more to writer's style. It would have seemed too different if I had corrected them.

Story is good so far, though. Just those occasional spelling errors. not much else wrong with it.

Yea, the earlier chapters aren't that polished. This story was kind of just a joke at first, but once I got to around chapter 8 or so I took it more seriously

And I start spelling Khajiit correctly later on, and Cheydinhal as well.

As for Harry Potter- I read all six in 24 hours I'm a speed reader, I can read like incredibly fast. I just meant the warning out there in general, and kind of as a joke, because I've had a few people complain to me about them losing sleep over the story XD

I see... well, then I am sure the story will vastly improve as I continue reading.... But if I do see any mistakes, which I saw a few in 6, I will correct them. If only to please the grammar Nazi within me.

Really like it so far though....

About half way through the 18 chapters now, I think I'm on nine, maybe Ten. Loving how you described the Whodunit! That was my favorite quest.

Really though, there is a lot of emotion in this story. Very moving, looking deep into the heart of a killer. Found a few more grammar and spelling mistakes, and switched words, in the chapters after 6 as well. But only minor things.

I'm very glad you're enjoying it! Yea, Whodunit was so fun to play, but it was a pain in the ass to write I'm really proud of how it turned out though, and I hope you continue to enjoy.

And the switched words and little mispellings will actually probably continue throughout the whole thing- I svck at editing my own work, I freely admit that And thank you so much for editing it for me!

Thanks so much for reading, it really does mean a lot

I know it does... I have written my own fanfics, not very long lasting or OMG as yours though, just little things that died out, or short stories, like 'Three'. A writer writes so the people can read, after all. And the writer's enthusiasm for their work raises with every praising word.

I will continue to read it, without a doubt. And edit wherever I find it necessary. Maybe, when you are finished with it, and I have read it all, we can find a way for me to send you my edits. Until then, I shall read it all.

You should really consider becoming a writer, if you haven't already. You have a gift, my dear allshallfade; the gift of the written word. Let it not go to waste. It is a gift few have these days. Just don't go into journalism... stick to fiction.

Will continue to read more tomorrow, if not tonight.

A couple of questions. I just finished the Whodunit chapters. Did you play the game through, getting all of the dialogue possible, and deciding the best route? Or did you just play as you saw fit, and wrote what your play resulted in? Because Every time I did the whodunit, I found Neville asleep upstairs, along with Devosi, in the beginning. Killed him first. And I too ended up with Nels and Matilde left, but Nels actually killed Matilde for me.... pretty funny actually...

I was just wondering what you did to write it. Cause it was by far the best I have read yet.

Also, what is Adrienne's, or Addy's, race and appearance? I have yet to see any real mention of it....

I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was a pain in the ass to organize though- I played the game through a few times, just testing different ways things could go, and then I finally had the brilliant idea to get all the dialogue possible from the CS. So once I had all the dialogue I just started to brainstorm, and I wrote it out in a notebook, where I just stream my thoughts from my head to my hand, as it were, and let it go. I filled a whole notebook with planning, and finally came up with what you see there. I considered everything- character's personalities and relationships, Adrienne's thoughts and emotions, everyone else's thoughts and emotions, the layout of the house, etc. etc.

I decided to have Nels hate the old woman Matilde because I thought she was really annoying, and when I first met her she always had something bad to say about him. I had Matilde hate Dovesi because I felt she was a privledged, upper class racist, and I that it could make things a bit more interesting. Nels' reaction to suspecting Dovesi I wrote because he was devastated that someone he related to his daughter could possibly be a murderer- I slipped something about that in there in the last chapter of WhoDunIt, because I had someone remark that the characterization felt off. I can see their point, but all I know is that I spent an absurd amout of time writing up how everything would happen and how everyone would act, and that I liked it

As for your race question- Adrienne is an Imperial (the reason I hadn't given too much information at the point you're up to is because I didn't know yet at the time I was writing it ), and she's in her mid-twenties. As for her appearence- a good friend of mine drew a fabulous picture of her http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/51253404/?qo=7&q=by%3Ahyascinthe&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps if you're interested. That is exactly what she is supposed to look like

I'm sorry to ramble :embarrased:- I thank you so much for your interest, and I hope you continue to enjoy! Any other questions, feel free to ask!

I just finished reading chapter 17 and 18...... oh... my... god...

Those two chapters had to be THE most emotional, action-packed, nerve-racking, intense story I have EVER read. By far, THE most enjoyable chapter. As others have stated, you flawlessly portrayed the hardest quest in the Brotherhood plot, the killing of your own family... At least, hardest for me. The most emotionally charged quest in the game, flawlessly transferred to the written word.

Mind you, I did find many mistakes in it, which I of course took the liberty of fixing. A two words you used did not technically exist, so I switched words around to keep your intended description, yet use the proper words. The first few chapters, I did not correct the mistakes I saw like I have been in the last few, but I will go back, reread them, and correct any I do see. All while I await chapter 19.

Allshallfade, you have a fan in my now.

I cannot thank you enough for this review- it really has made me more happy then I could ever explain

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the chapters (especially the Purification), because I was incredibly worried about how they would be received. This makes me very confident with how they turned out, and eases my worry about them. And once again, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you editing the chapters for me- it really means a lot, and I'd love to get the chance to see what you've fixed- you're saving me so much trouble by doing this, and it means a lot.

I'll try my best to work on getting the next chapter out soon, and I hope you continue to enjoy

Bumpage!

And in continuing the spirit of bumpage....

How's the next chapter going?

I've been wanting to read this for a while. Not wanting to be one who loses sleep over it, I just read chapters 17 and 18 for now.

I have to agree wholeheartedly with FC4. I love how you turned that mission in the Dark Brotherhood into a real emotional trauma. Usually I just walk in and poke them all while they're asleep then go get my next contract. You revealed a much more saddening side, one that made me think, what if they were my friends and not blocks of pixels? The next time I play through the Dark Brotherhood, I doubt I'll take it so lightly.

I think the spelling and grammar was excellent. In both chapters I found a total of five wrong words/misspellings. Considering combined the two were as long as anything I've ever written, I was extremely impressed. Trust me, read two pages of something I do and you'll find twice that many errors.

I think I'll read a chapter or two every day, so I can finish it a week or two. When it's all done with, you should definately consider getting it published. It's a lot better than half of the stuff they throw onto bookshelves these days, and more than long enough. 132 pages already at 14 font...I'd guess that's probably 200 pages or more in the average book. And I'd rather read it than some silly story about kittens and puppies you could probably find in just about any bookstore. Kittens and puppies don't bleed that much. Nor do they always cry out in pain.

You've made a fan out of me as well. Don't rush the next chapter too much, you can't rush perfection.

Wow... thank you! I don't know what to say :embarrased: First of all, I'm really glad you started in the end- I feel that it's immensely superior to the beginning of the story, and will make you want to read more then the first few chapters would. And yea... I can't deny that getting it published hasn't crossed my mind :ph34r: But yea, I doubt I could- wouldn't I need Bethesda's permission, because it's copyrighted and all? But the mention means more then I could describe, and I hope you continue to enjoy

And FC4- it's going pretty well! It will be rather short compared to this one, but I think most chapters will be considerably shorter, because the Purification was massive And again, your interest means a lot!

Erm could i please have links to the first 15 chapters. this fanfic looks really really could. But I'd kinda like to read it from the beginning.

Thanks

Sure, no problem! If you want to download the entire thing so far (the first eighteen chapters), you can go http://www.box.net/shared/x4qe3b1dhr. If you don't want to download it, or if it for some reason doesn't work for you, you can also read it http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=3132390 at fanfiction.net.

Hope you enjoy!

Just an update- I should have the next chapter up by the end of the week. Sorry it's taken so long, but as always, I've been really busy and haven't had too much time on the computer.

After this chapter you shouldn't expect one for at least a month or two- I'm leaving to go backpacking in Europe on July 1st, and I'll be in the backcountry (ie, no internet/computer access whatsoever) until around the 28th. Then I'll actually have to write the chapter, which will probably take awhile as well So I'm really sorry to those who anxiously await more, but I'm going to be really, really busy for awhile.

Anyways, thank you for everyone' continued interest and support- your comments mean the world!

So uh, any news again? Can't wait for next chapter.

Also, could you possibly have a download link to the next chapter, after you post it? That way I could download that chapter in Microsoft Word format, and cut and paste it straight into the current file of the fanfic that I have(the version where I edited any errors I found). You don't havce to, I was just asking, since copying from a forum post results in a bit of uncooperation on Microsoft Word's part, sometimes.

Can't wait for next chapter, and I assure you, I will edited it of spelling/grammar errors as I did the other chapters.

Midnight on the 28th in Europe, and they're already here and impatient

Your continued interest means quite a lot to me, and I appreciate your comments And now I have to apologize for taking so long with chapters. I just had a very busy, stressful month, so I haven't had time to write- but things have started to calm down, and I should be posting within the next few weeks. I finally have chosen an ending, so it should be a bit easier for me to crank out chapters now that I know where I'm going. Once again, your continued enthusiasm and your reviews mean a lot to me, as well as your editing! I will definitely upload the chapter for those who want it in a document form.

Thank you, once again

:dance: Yeah! :twirl:

And when all is said and done, I will try to get my edits uploaded to you somehow.