I am sure many of you here are alone including me.

So how do you deal with being alone (no gf)?

Well, I for one have always enjoyed being alone so for me it′s rarely a problem. I like the freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want and most of the time I don′t really do much but I would hate being forced by a gf to go out every Friday. I find it very relaxing never to worry about what to wear and how I look (although I do maintain some standards.. )

I often find msyelf wanting to get away when I have been in the company of others for awhile and I couldn′t imagine ever living with someone. That said, if I never were to see anyone I probably wouldn′t feel so good. I need company but in very small doses.

kuba, always rest assured you are never alone about being alone..

I could have written for myself what mirocu just wrote, as it fits perfectly my profile.

Loneliness affects me when I'm idle, and I'm rarely idle. Keeping oneself busy is a good way to deal with the feeling and you could always go out, have a drink somewhere where you can meet people.

I think doing what you can to build your social life: even with a partner, it's an important thing to have. Of course it's easier said than done, and in advlthood it can tend to go through some lulls. I'm currently working on resurrecting mine, which is kinda tricky when I'm very nervous and agoraphobic!

Don't place too much emphasis on the absence of a partner being the cause of all the problems, and assuming that being with someone would be the solution: although I wouldn't want to be without my gf, I would still like to have an active social life (same applies for her, of course).

Focus on yourself. If you're alone then that gives you time to give to yourself and to improve at something. Feel like you could shape up some? Start working out. Feel like you could improve at a hobby? Focus on it and get better at it. You have free time use it to your advantage. I found with my own experience that it's easier to get a GF when your not actively looking for them. If that is your goal anyways.

This. This is very true, at least what I've found in my experience.

when i was under 20 years old i didnt care about girls but now im 25 and im desperate sometimes

I know the feeling though I've been married for a while. Like I said you should focus on yourself. Nothing will change your situation but bringing someone into your life. Most people though can since when you're trying, especially when you're trying too hard. So stop trying. Focus on yourself and just treat people as people and not as a potential hookup. Not saying you are doing that, but that was a lesson I had to learn.

Wait . . . how in the world did I manage to post a reply under someone else's name?

Frankly I don't think I'm doing very well dealing with loneliness, I'm having to take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds (although not so much with the anti-anxiety meds, just when I need it which is not very often) to help with coping and I have a REALLY bad shopping habit----I'm basically a shopaholic. But what can you do, when life takes things from you and doesn't give back you basically have to fill that void with something to numb the pain even if it is for a little bit .

Another reason why I loved taking martial arts for the last 29 years. I've met some amazing people and made some really good friends. Everytime I go to train I am surrounded by and talking to people with the same passion for me.

The moral of the above statement is to find an organization of something you are interested in and start participating. It can be anything from a martial arts school to a Dungeons and Dragons tabletop session to a chess club and so on.

Lonely for friends? Rarely. Lonely for something more? Occasionally, and it's a much worse feeling; I despise it.

Mentally, I'm very unstable. Amongst many other things I can get delusional and very anxious - I am also very obsessive, but at my core I consider myself to be an intellectual (albeit a broken one), and thus I have come to this conclusion: The problems I have directly impact my decision-making; this can and has been a very bad thing for people I know outside of the internet. I will not inflict myself upon other people in real life, as I sometimes do here on the internet. Many people have their hope to cling to; I however do not. I cannot, and I force myself to remember that. It's a very complicated set of problems that even I don't fully understand, and that's probably the simplest way I can put it.

Edit: Basically, I have no real way of dealing with it in any way that has any postive effects for me. My mind is like an infinite number of time bombs.

For one, try to keep occupied.

I have been alone for most of my life, only having friends with benefits for the most part, and only for like a month at a time. I was always the single guy and third wheel among my friends.

I found I felt the worst about it when I was sitting at home doing nothing, playing video games or watching movies.
But if I was occupied, making something, building something, doing a hobby like archery or something, I felt the most like myself, never felt bad about being alone.

Eventually I stopped worrying about being alone and just focused on a bunch of hobbies, making my life very busy and active. For a few months of that, eventually I became a new person, pulled out of a depression and I was just honing my various skills, keeping my brain active and occupied.

Then I started feeling good about going out to places like friend's birthdays and stuff, and next thing I know, I'm dating a girl I went to high school with, I met her at a bar and we reconnected after so many years, she was interested in me, and now I'm in a great relationship and it's going strong.

I think the key for me was once I stopped worrying about being alone, I focused on myself.
I think women are instinctively attracted to self confident men. When you're someone who's always worrying about being alone, women can feel that and aren't attracted to it.

Lots of times when I was alone I felt like there was something wrong with me that women never wanted to be with me, and I'm not an ugly dude either, so I felt like I was just incompatible with another person and going to be alone forever. It was like I didn't love myself as a person, and felt that I was never going to be happy unless I had a woman if my life.

But when I stopped caring about that, and started working on myself, I eventually came to love myself and what skills I have. I stopped having those feelings of desperation (which again, women can sense desperate), and became proud of myself as a person.
I came to be happy with myself as an individual, whether I was going to ever have a significant other or not, I came to terms that people aren't going to love me until I loved myself.

It was then when life turned around. I stopped relying in the hope of a girlfriend to make my life happy, and found a way to be completely happy alone.
After that, then I had a few women around the same time who became interested in me.

So all I'm saying is that you should stop focusing on being alone. Start by loving yourself. Do some hobbies, get good at a few things, work out, or go do some pottery classes or sword fighting classes or archery, just some sort of hobby.that you may be interested in.
Once you have your mind occupied on the tasks at hand, everything else will fall into place.
Plus those hobbies also give you opportunities to meet new people, who have at least one common interest as you do.

Remember that life is short, and sitting around and moping, waiting, hoping for it to turn around isn't going to help. You could die tomorrow, or in 5 years, and what have you done in the meantime? Replayed a few good video games? What about things you may have wanted to do in life, like sky diving, skiing, hunting, whatever. Don't want for a significant other to go do these things, or next thing you know you wake up and you're older, wondering what happened with your life.

Go out and make yourself happy, do things you've always wanted to do. Eventually you will become the person you knew deep down inside you can be, the one that people are attracted to.
Work on yourself, once you come to terms with yourself and your life, the women and relationships will follow.

You are young, the same age as me. It's not til recent years, at 25 that I've finally found someone I love, who loves me back, and it wasn't until after I learned to love myself as a person. You still got lots of time to turn your life around, but it's not going to happen by sitting around and waiting. You have to pick your life up first, and then the good things will come and make it even better.

That is what I have chosen to do. I've been doing a lot of self reflection the last few years and improved the things I don't like about myself. It keeps me busy.

I put on some good tunes and go for a bike ride around town. Sometimes weaving through the streets looking at beautiful heritage houses I could never afford. Where in the past I'd be plopped down in front of the TV. I mean I do stream things, having recently cancelled my TV subscription, but I'm a lot more active than in the past. Hell, in one day, I went for 5 bike rides of varying lengths because I simply couldn't sit indoors when the weather was so beautiful. I've lost weight too.

I've always considered myself a lone wolf, but have always had a couple close friends. I'm not a "gathering" type person. I prefer small and quaint. If it where not for my best friend and her kids I'd have probably gone bat poop crazy. I enjoy spending time with them.

I'm terrible at the whole "dating game" and simply don't bother. There is only one person I want to be with, but we are just friends....and that's all I need from her.

P.S.

So agreed!

This is the embodiment of what I mean when I say "Focus on yourself". Women can since the desperation and it will turn most of them away. If you just stop worrying about the "dating game" and be self motivated and self suffecient. Doing this shows your a self made man who can handle your business (no matter what your business is). If it becomes the last thing on your mind because you're just chill with life and being your own person women will find you much more attractive than someone who is focused on needing a woman in his life for XYZ reasons. They feel much more relaxed and confident with someone who is just treating them like a person and not their next potential mate.

I've been alone since 2001 (last girlfriend). Like mirocu, I have enjoyed being alone. However, in society, being with someone seems to have great importance to others. Married people get "special consideration" at the workplace. When meeting new people, they ask about your job and relationships/family. It can get awkward.

However, it only matters if you feel it matters. The trap that must avoided is to be with someone not because you love them, but simply just to fill a perceived void. If you can find tings that you enjoy doing alone, you will be better off. Then if or when someone comes along, it is icing on the cake instead of the main course in your life.

Meeting people can be tricky, too. Too many people have the "Bachelor/Bachelorette" show mentality of "I just don't have time to look." Relationships require time. So if you find hobbies or interests that you enjoy and go out and do them, you will meet many people that have at least one common interest with you.

Loneliness is a state of mind, after all. And I do empathize with the "missing the physical aspects of a relationship." Best of luck

Embrace it. I once felt lonely and sought out a gf in the wrong ways from the wrong woman...biggest regret of my life and a mistake that there's no going back from. I wish I could return to the lonely life.