The Haggin (The Hobbit): http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?/topic/1175019-lord-of-the-chip/
"In 2077 the One Chip was forged by House in the Forge's of Sunnyvale in order to conquer the lands of Vegas. A Last Alliance of Humanity and Nuclear Bombs was formed to counter House and during a battle of House's Defences against Humanities Nuclear Bombs, Istealdore, son of Bob, was slain by House's inability to destroy the several Bombs on the final day, Istealdore and his friend Gelrond stood at the Forge's of Sunnyvale: The only place where one can destroy the One Chip..."
"Istealdore, cast the One Chip into the fire!"
"No,"
"Istealdore... Istealdore! Issssssteaaaaaaaaaaaldooooooore!"
He walked away, ignoring his former friend. Not a day later, Gelrond and his friends made their way to a Vault in Gibbendale.
Istealdore died, burned and scorched by a fire similar to that which made the Chip...
"Istealdore, cast the One Chip into the fire!"
"No,"
"Istealdore... Istealdore! Issssssteaaaaaaaaaaaldooooooore!"
He walked away, ignoring his former friend. Not a day later, Gelrond and his friends made their way to a Vault in Gibbendale.
Istealdore died, burned and scorched by a fire similar to that which made the Chip...
But then something happened that the Chip did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A ghoul, Hilbo Haggins, of the underworld. For the time will soon come when ghouls will shape the fortunes of all...
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Oh...? What's this?
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"Three dice for the Tribal-kings under the sky,
Seven card decks for the Ghouls in their halls alone,
Nine treaties for Politicans doomed to die,
One Chip for House in his dark home,
In the Land of Vegas where the Shadows lie.
One Chip to rule them all, One Chip to find them,
One Chip to bring them all and in the darkness, bind them."
It was these word's inscribed, and those named that shall abide forever serving- until their death from pride which shall be unnerving.
The Wed Book: The Fellowship of the Chip
Hilbo went on a journey before... he went on a journey to Los Angeles fifty years ago, and that was the last adventure he ever went on after having his back scorched from a nuclear blast which came from the Cathedral. His nephew; Brodo Haggin's was no ghoul (or a so called man) as his uncle is said to be, though really Hilbo's non-ghoulified daughter had married a man who gave birth to a son who married and gave birth a daughter who also got married and eventually gave birth to Brodo. Oh, I guess it's important to note all of those people died from very, very, very irradiated cheesecakes.
Brodo Haggins lived in a home called:
Hag End
It was a strange place in a town called:
The Fhire
Hag End was called that since that was where Hilbo's old Hag died (thankfully, so he proclaims) and when she died, the entire town (well it wasn't a town until after this event, and I mean immediatly after) of the Fhire celebrated her death with wine and lighting her house on fire. Unfortunately, the entire town was scorched in flame and so it is called the Fhire now.
It was Hilbo's Twelventy-second birthday, and Hilbo was very well renownd for his entire back being scorched black. The scars he had brought back and the tales he told (derpwood was a locale favorite) he had become a local legend. Hilbo invited everybody to his birthday party, and that night he had a trick...
There were machines, very silly nilly machines which would only lock onto Hilbo with rockets.
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Brodo frequently wrote in a journal of journalisy journalism, and wrote everything he did that day. It was a strange journal of journalistic journalism as it detailed things about cakes and cheese... and cookies. Brodo liked Cookies, he liked them a bit too much. Brodo was getting a little pudgy for his age, but then he was only in his mid-twenties. Cookies were wonderful things to him as if they were world's of chocolatey flavor and 200 year old oatmeal, either way he really, really, really, really, really liked cookies.
Today I decided to bake cookies, they were cookified cookies made from cookiemix from a land named Porto Ric-
"Brodo Haggins... is this how you treat your guests?"
"Sandalf!"
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Bacon is good, and so is spoofing.