The Great Forest is a beautiful place to be. The Flowers, the wildlife, the great sense of freedom. Issir loved his job as an Imperial Guard. He was based on woodland patrol and loved to take in the sights whilst walking the length of the forest. He was a big fan of nature and everything around him. He never really saw a lot of action. The forest had become dry of all bandits and thieves since the oblivion crisis ended. It was as if everyone had had a new sense of direction. Or maybe they just found a new hideout. Every now and then he would come across the occasional hostile creature and have to subdue it. But other than that, it was as if he had the whole forest to himself.

On what seemed like just any other day, Issir was doing his usual patrol through the forest when he stopped to rest on a fallen tree. Resting his short sword on the ground, he sat down and admired the view around him. "Such a beautiful place that only Kynareth could have made," he thought. He smiled and took off his helm and placed it next to his sword. It was the hottest day in weeks. He didn't know how he was going to cope with the weather in his heavy suit of armor. He began to wipe the sweat from his forehead when he heard a rustling in the bushes nearby. He instantly grabbed for his sword and waited for more movement. But nothing happened. He waited for a few more seconds. Still nothing. He frowned and slowly crept toward the large green bushes. Now standing in front of them, he slowly moved some leaves around, expecting more foreign movement. Still Nothing.

He sighed and lowered his weapon. "Must have been another of Kynareth's grand creations," he thought. He smiled to himself and turned around. And instantly raised his sword once more. In front of him was what seemed to be... A ghost.

"What the? What are you? Speak!"

The ghost moved closer to Issir, while he backed away from it.

"Do not be afraid. I do not mean to harm you."

The Ghost's voice sent chills throughout Issir's body. He shuddered and gathered up the strength to reply.

"Well... What... What do you want with me?"

The Ghost shook its head and beckoned a finger. It turned around and headed out of the clearing. Issir followed the transparent figure out of the clearing and through a heavy track of bushes. After nearly ten minutes the ghost came to a halt next to a small hole in the ground.

"I am the Ghost of Sir Dramur Elatah. This small tunnel will lead you to my tomb."

Issir stared at the ghost. He didn't understand what was happening.

"I... dont understand..."

"My tomb has become overrun with horrible creatures," Replied Dramur. "I figured that it would be your kind of job."

"Oh... I see... Umm..." Issir was dumbstruck. This was incredibly random for some ghost to appear out of the blue and request his assistance. It was his job to maintain law and order, but it had been a while since anything big had actually happened to him.

"I suppose I could take a look," He replied sheepishly, crouching down next to the small hole.

"Issir Hanse... You will destroys these abominations or you will pay the price!" Dramur raised his ghostly hand and conjured a ball of flames. Issir backed away in fear.

"Ok! Ok! I'll do it!" Issir practically jumped into the hole and began his way down the dark tunnel.

After five minutes of crawling through the long dark muddy tunnel he saw a small torchlight at the end. He crawled out and shook the dirt off his armor. He stood up and looked around. He was inside a large room filled dimly with burning torches. At one end of the room there was a large pile of rocks and boulders. He assumed that it was the blocked off entrance. It looked as though it had caved in. He stood in the middle of the room and stared around at the walls. They were covered with ancient writings of some sort. On closer inspection they were in a completely different language that Issir couldn't understand. He headed to the other side of the room and began to walk down the passageway connecting.

Amidst the piles of rocks and rubble on the floor, Issir noticed what looked like human bones scattered throughout the passageway. He slowed down his pace and felt his heart quicken. As he bent down to look at them he could smell something horrible coming off of them. He wretched and stood up. He had nearly reached the end of the passageway. He grabbed the handle of his sword. His body flooded with fear. He could hear the noises of things moving in the other room. Great rumbles and thuds. Screams of dying creatures. Whatever was in that room was big. He had no chance by himself. His breathing became shallow and he began to shake. This wasnt the kind of things he should be doing. He should be out walking in the great paths of nature. This was way out of his league. All because of some stupid ghost. He didn't have to listen to that dead mans threats. He could just turn around now and walk away from certain death.

"But... What if he does kill me..." he thought. Maybe it was better to die fighting rather than being killed for running. Why was he involved with this anyway?! He unsheathed his sword and shed a tear. He was afraid to die. "What am I thinking? Dramur is part of Kynareths creations. I cannot turn my back to him, even if I don't know who he is. These foul beasts have no right to live on Kynareths realm!" He shed another tear and gripped his blade.

"If this is the will of the gods... Then I will fight to purge this tomb of all evil!"

He raised his sword and wiped his cheeks.

"For Kynareth and the Nine!"

He charged.

I'm guessing this is a standalone short story? It is an interesting one. Your char is clearly developed and nicely flawed.

A couple things that struck me. Please consider or ignore them as you deem best.

On editing a third person story, you might run through it at least once looking specifically for sentences that start with 'he', with an eye to reworking that number down.

Sometimes perhaps less is more. Where you say: 'He rested his short sword on the ground next to him and sat down admiring the view around him.' ; one might consider perhaps: 'Resting his shortsword upon the ground he sat, admiring the view.'

Again, nice story! :goodjob:

Good story man going to town with crusader's, can't think why?

This aint a story bout the crusader. Its just a imperial watchmen that worships the nine divines.
I'll get around to writing a story about my crusader adventures

Thanks man. I enjoyed writing this, however I got thrown off my laptop so didn't have time to check it over. Thanks.

I'm pleased that we have someone taking a henotheistic view of the gods in a story! It seems like so many people in TES stories are "The Nine Divines this!" and "The Nine Divines that!". It's boring and weak to even think of them that way, and I'm damn glad you've chosen to represent them as individuals and not a committee. You rock.

For the story at the moment it seems to make more sense to have the main character be a member of the Legion Forresters from Oblivion. His role in the story is definitely in that territory, where if he's an Imperial Guard, he's slacking hardcoe.

Then ease us into his life more before the ghost shows up. It's a bit of a sudden change to his plans in the first chapter. A section of this length about him taking care of forresting duties would let us get a feel for his zen and get to like him more before he goes into battle. It's easier to root for someone you know better.

Make the ghost spookier too. He comes around in the day in passive/aggressive mode making housewife demands about cleaning up the place? Let's up the coercement.

Keep writing man, lets see what you do!

Thanks man. This wasn't really going to be something that I was going to continue with. It was just kind of like, he has no hope, no chance. But he knows he has too. So...

As far as the ghosts aggressiveness is, as i said up there, I got thrown off my laptop and was kinda rushing through the dialogue a bit.

As for writing more stuff is concerned, I'm going to, possibly just now, but im gunna try and get some ideas flowing first

I like both this and your other one. I saw that there may be a problem with the second one, so thought I would post on this and respond. Both are great, the other one made me feel like I was there! You are a good writer!

Yeah im not quite sure what the dealio was with the other one, but its sure as hell staying there lol. I think what it was, was that he thought that this one was going to be continued. But they are both short stories and I dont really plan on continuing them.

Thanks for your comment

You have a great creativity with these stories, your subjects are really interesting that you choose to write about too. And your descriptions make the reader able to easily visualize what you are describing - I enjoyed reading your stories a lot!