Chapter 15: A Date With Destiny


After dispatching the bandits I slowly walked through the house staring hard at everything, trying to strike a memory. Nothing looked familiar until I stretched out on the bed at the far end of the bedroom. As I lay there looking across at the other bed, something seemed to stir in my memory, I felt a twinge of recognition. I was sure that this had been my bed when I was a kit.

I was trying to go to sleep, but the air was thick with my thoughts. Being here in this place that held so many secrets of my past, it was overwhelming. I went over in my mind everything I had been told about my early life, trying to force memories to come of my time here. What was the girl's name who cared for me? What was the Imperial Guard's name who had brought me here and taught me to hunt? Why couldn't I remember any of it? Or remember their faces?

S'Jirra told me that when I first came to her I had told her about the guard, the girl being killed, and some things about my life here. So what happened to these memories, did they just vanish from my mind? I remember S'Jirra telling me about an Imperial Guard stopping at the Inn one day when I hadn't been with her long; and I had run to him and thrown myself onto him, hugging his leg and crying. Wouldn't I have called his name out? Why could I not remember it? I wish S'Jirra would have told me that name to hold in my memory. It had not been my guard, he must have worn the same armor though. After that S'Jirra was cautious about me being on hand when the Imperial Guards stopped. I guess S'Jirra was just afraid I would be taken from her if my guard ever came.

That day Fathis took me to the Imperial City I had stared like a loon at each guard I saw, hoping there would be some flash of recognition in one of their eyes, but none had shown anything but the shock and disgust the sight of an albino always brings. Even when I got older I found myself staring at every guard, hoping to find one that would say, "I knew you when you were a little girl," but none ever did.

Trying to remember the guard and that girl naturally led to wondering about my own parents. I always wondered what my parents looked like. Were they albino like me? Were they both Khajiit? Where were they from - where was I from? Where were they going that day? There was so much about my life I didn't know, would never know.

When I had been at the Arcane I found a book that mentioned white Khajiit living someplace North of Cyrodiil, but the book said it was a myth. The drawing the book showed didn't look anything like me. These Khajiit were huge, and I am small. They had large dark stripes and much more fur than I have as an advlt. Their faces were not built with the refined small bones that my face has, more like that of a prehistoric beast.

And once again the thought that I may be of mixed race occurred to me; but what other race? Not Dunmer like Fathis, that was certain! Nor did I have the more rounded face of the Wood Elf. Maybe one of my parents had been an Imperial? I had gone over these questions so many times after meeting Agronak and finding out that sometimes races do mix and produce get from it. I was never able to come up with any answer to the questions; not even this night, laying here in this bed that was evoking all these heavy thoughts. I had to stop thinking about these things or I would never sleep, and more bandits may come.

I tried hard to shake off the nostalgia and deep thoughts by thinking instead of S'Jirra and Alix. That was a wrong step, because it led me to thinking of why I was sleeping in this place right now instead of in my own bed. Then thinking of Rufio's murder and Lucien Lachance coming here to meet me; that led me to think of why I was contacted by Lucien in the first place. "Oh Agronak. " I whispered to myself as the vision of Agronak lying on the ground at my feet filled my mind.

"I'm supposed to be the Grand Champion of the Arena, oh what a sick joke that is!" I said aloud. I could hear the bitterness in my own voice as I spoke. "And now I am a murderer;" I thought to myself. "oh yes, let's not forget that." I said aloud. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to call myself a murderer aloud. I knew I was, but could not speak it.

"Whichever Gods are playing with my life, I hope you are enjoying what you have done with me." I said loudly. Did I sound bitter? Yes. I am bitter. I just realized that for the first time lying in that bed that I had once slept in as a young kit. Somewhere in those mountains, the child I was had grown older and colder. I had felt a numbness take over my heart in those mountains. I hadn't healed up there like I thought; that was a fallacy. Instead I had just become numb and bitter. "Numb, bitter, and angry." I corrected myself aloud.

I must have drifted off finally. When I awoke, there was Lucien Lachance. His presence gave me a start and then a chill. It was a feeling you might get if you were to find a spider on you. His voice sounded as if he had just crawled out of a tomb. It made me want to plunge that dagger he had given me into his throat to shut him up; but once again he had paralyzed me.

He must have to do that a lot with his voice and creepy appearance; I'm sure he wouldn't be around long if his contacts weren't paralyzed.

I was given a "secret code" to get past a "secret entrance" into a "secret hideout." Oh, I just wanted to kick in his teeth as he talked, but this is where I was headed, so I may as well embrace it.

***






Chapter 16: The Dark Brotherhood


The thought of going home after Lucien's visit sickened me. Instead I made a decision to visit this 'secret hideout.' My lip curled just thinking about the way that Lucien talked. If they all talked like that I would be hard put not to kill them all. After all, I am a murderer. Surely they would understand if I had an urge to kill suddenly. I twisted my lip into a smirk. Oh yes, I was definitely bitter.

When I walked out the door to the abandoned house I stood in the threshold for a few minutes before heading out. I did remember the spot the girl's body had been, although the years had long since erased any trace of her. I stood and stared at that spot, remembering how it had felt that day. For a few seconds I had an overwhelming impulse to search for her body, it must be buried here somewhere - then the thought of Rufio's body decomposing smothered that impulse. I would not want to find her like that, or even as a skeleton. It would not give me the answers I sought.

In light of what I had become, I did not want to be seen by anyone who may know me; so I cast an invisibility spell and headed out to Cheydinhal.

When I arrived, I followed Lucien's instructions to the abandoned house. At the end of a tunnel leading from the basemant door, I came to a glowing red door. When I tried to open it a voice that sounded just like Lucien's spoke from the door itself.

"What is the color of night?" the voice asked in the same eerie sounding half-whisper that made you feel that ghouls were going to be climbing out of graves any second.

"Sanguine, my Brother." I said in a sarcastic voice, using the password Lucien had given me to get in. It all felt so stupid, like children playing at being spies or assassins.

The first thing I saw when I entered was a skeleton guardian creaking toward me, it was a trap! I pulled out my dagger to dispatch it, and an older Argonian woman stopped me! Well, people did conjure skeletons for protection, maybe this was hers. I didn't relax, but did sheath my blade. My hand stayed hovered near the hilt.

I kept one eye on the Guardian Skeleton while the Argonian woman introduced herself to me, her name was Ocheeva. Then she introduced me to the others in the room, 'My new family,' as she called them. I looked around and found myself in what appeared to be a ruin underneath a normal house, it felt eerie.

Soon enough my worst fears were realized; these people were all talking about Sithis, family, and love. A cult! I considered casting an Enemies Explode into the midst of them and walking out! These people were embracing murder like it was a God! It was sickening me.

The thought occurred that I was no better than them; I who had slain my own best friend. Maybe there is no room for snobbery amongst murderers, we were all just as evil as the next.

Still, I didn't want to hear anymore. I went silent hoping they would stop trying to make my acquaintance.

Suddenly a man entered the room, and my blood froze in my veins, it was a vampire! Everybody kept talking as if they didn't see it! I readied a fire spell; and again Ocheeva stopped me. She introduced him as Vicente Valtieri, and he walked up to shake my hand! I drew my hand behind my back and just stared at him. By my stiff stance I let him know to keep his distance. I shivered; I didn't want my blood close enough to Vicente to tempt him. I brought my hand back around and rested it on my blade hilt. Vincente ignored this and asked me to follow him.

"No vampire, I'm not going to follow you to any secluded place." I thought to myself. I didn't budge. Vicente hesitated, and then began to speak to me

"I can see you are startled by my appearance," he began.

"No, really?" I almost said aloud. I needed to get out of here. This had been a big mistake. I should have known that from the beginning. I started fumbling for my Enemies Explode spell in case they tried to stop me from leaving.

Something stopped me. It wasn't like the paralysis that Lucien used on me, this was different. Something in the aura of Vicente that seemed to hold me in my place, calming my fears. There had been no spells cast on me, this must be some other magic, but what?

He went on to talk to me about being a vampire, and as he spoke a charm seemed to emanate from his very being. I found myself being drawn to him, and mesmerized by his soft voice, even while I was repulsed by him.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt as if something was trying to warn me of danger. I was scared, this was no magic I could dispel and be free of. I needed to get out of here, and yet I could not move.

Vicente concluded the conversation. He may well have been discussing the weather for all I know; his voice seemed to travel through my mind as if it were exploring every thought I ever had. I found I was swaying on my feet and wanting him to never stop talking.

When Vicente ended the conversation I was left in almost a swoon. My head reeled pleasantly and thoughts could not form. I found I had decided to continue with the Dark Brotherhood when Vicente was done talking. I think I even smiled at him.

"Vicente must have been a gorgeous man before he became a vampire," I thought, then found I had spoken aloud. I looked at Vicente now, the blood veins making red pathways across his eyes; his pale cheeks ravaged with lines; and couldn't understand how I could think him handsome, and yet still I felt within myself a strong and powerful attraction to him. He looked at me from across the room as if he had heard what I said; or maybe even heard my thoughts. I felt my pulse surge when he looked at me.

"What magic is this that Vicente holds over me?" I wondered to myself. "It has a power like no other magic I have known of; I cannot - no, I desire not to fight it!"

When night came I left the 'sanctuary' as they called it. I would not sleep in that place, although there were plenty of beds available. I may have decided to stay in the Dark Brotherhood; but I would not sleep here.

Of all those creepy people in there, Vicente was the one I feared most. A power seemed to ooze from him and wrap itself around me; a power I could not name or dispel. I would have to be very careful around that one, very careful.

His charm seemed to strip down the barriers of all I know or have ever learned. When he stood near I found myself mesmerized by him, his voice, his very smell enveloped me. It was as if I were under a spell. I found myself hoping he would not leave my side when we were speaking.

"That man is dangerous!" I said aloud, as if the words would act as a talisman to keep him away from me.





*** The red door to the Sanctuary:

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/9/l_5521eb5febe442dcab8936dc80a33e26.jpg


*** The DB Sanctuary:


http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/32/l_0d515d8e6cb54a71931503f73e13254f.jpg




*** Ocheeva in the DB Sanctuary:

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/11/l_67f6a69cd330429e970685475483bf1e.jpg


*** Vicente:

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/6/l_66414cea51674ce89ce3d806f296d338.jpg

First of all, Malx, I have to run now...an appointment...so I will be reviewing your edits later.

But this is to say in passing that your character's slow ruminations on her past is superb, because it is delicate. Not many writers can handle such a passage like that - just one phrase or sentence too heavy, and the mood would be ruined! That's what's called 'the touch' in writing. Keep it...

And one last brief comment before I go. Careful on the use of too many exclamation marks!

Thanks for the tip, I edited several out, lol. Thank you so much D.Foxy! <-

mALX, the strength of your writing has come so far. Brilliant. :read:

You know how picky I have been on your grammar and spelling and sometimes your choice of words?. I hope your memories of that will enhance the impact of this:
FLAWLESS! I am so proud of you.

You are beyond the distractions of minor mechanical things now.

Both these stories are not only well written, they are beautiful and fascinating to read. You have, over time, matured and aged Maxical with a wonderfully subtle touch. It seems just a few stories ago, she was a kitten. With the lightest of steady touches, you have transformed her into a young woman.

All of our characters approach the Dark Brotherhood differently. Each with their own trepidation and perspective. How a character deals with the Dark Brotherhood speaks volumes of their nature.

We all know the situation and the NPCs. You have combined that with your own unique approach that provides a feel to your last story that is somehow familiar, yet fascinatingly different. Just wonderful!

If I've improved it is Thanks to the great critiques - I appreciate them all! Thanks Acadian!

Ah Valtieri. I remember my first encounter with him well. I to refused to sleep anywhere near that creature. As always a very nice addition.

Very nicely done, mALX... you are telling a good story and I am enjoying it.

Leydenne, I almost fainted when I read this, thank you so much! I appreciate that a lot!


@ Arcry you are Awesome!

I can see big improvement in the latest instalment versus the first stories.

Since no character of mine has ever been interested in the Dark Brotherhood. I am finding your story quite interesting.

One thing I suggest just to consider is to look for ways to 'trim the fat' so to speak. An example is these lines from your latest story;

"It would not give me the answers I sought. And so I left."

I might have written the second sentence in a draft but would almost certainly have edited it out before publishing. It's one of those 'continuity' lines which detracts from the power of the thought in the previous sentence. If it was meant to show dismissing her train of thought (which is already implied in the first sentence), and if you felt that was necessary, then it would have worked better for me (reading it) to have read that she dismissed the mood.

I hope you will continue to write. I am quite curious as to what happens next.

Thank you very much Bobg! You are absolutely right, and on re-editing I have noticed several of these. Thank you so very much for the help, I appreciate this more than I can say! - I fixed that, thank you again!

Hopefully we will all learn together. Re-reading that last episode, it seemed more crisp and clean in style. I'm guessing that maybe you found other trimmings as well.

I have been going through the story from the start and trying to edit the critiques into the story from the beginning too. So far I am just up to chapter 12 with those fixes, and I will re-scan those early chapters for more places I have done this - I'm sure there will be some. Also, I am trying to be more aware when writing future chapters about what I learn from the critiques. In the place you pointed out, I remember struggling with how to end that, and wasn't satisfied with what I left but didn't know what to do to fix it. Your critique was brilliant! Thank you so much for your help!

Chapter 17: A Dragon's Dream


Uriel Septim VII threw off the covers and got up, even though the night was not half over. He made his way to the window and looked out over the Imperial City. His dreams had been troubled again this night, as they had for the past month.

The Dragon blood that flowed through the veins of every Septim brought with it the ability to foresee one's own future. In the past it had served him well, and assisted in the ruling of Tamriel.

Uriel remembered the visions he had while he was held captive in the planes of Oblivion by Jagar Tharn; and the Dragons eyes had given him a glimpse of his savior so clear that he knew him on sight when that hero arrived to bring him back home.

That foresight gave him the wisdom to know the enemies that would come against the land he had ruled for almost 65 years, as well as those he could trust. What his dreams foretold lately though was the end of that rule. Uriel already knew how it would occur, but not when. It is hard to prepare when you have no idea what deadline you are under, and there was no set pattern in the past. The timing was left up to the Gods.

Yes, Uriel's sleep had been disrupted by these dreams for quite some time, but lately there had been a change. There had been the face of another that would be with him in his darkest hour, a face like nothing he had ever seen. This new vision had taken hold suddenly in the middle of a dream, as if placed there by Akatosh himself.

The insistency of recurrence of this new face had been deeply troubling. He knew his path would cross with this one; and when it did, that would be the key needed that would set the other events in motion, of this Uriel was certain. But the path of this other one was dark and treacherous.

Uriel shivered, a sudden chill overcoming him. Should he pray for the other one who lay in darkness and trouble, and if so then would he be praying for his own death?

His sleep disturbed now, he could no more go back to it than he could change the tide of events that he knew were unfolding.

"I am 86 years old and nearing the anniversary of my birth, and in all these years I've never been the keeper of my own dreams." Uriel said softly into the emptiness of the room.

***

Chancellor Ocato climbed the palace rotunda to the top and discretely knocked on the door of the Emperor's quarters. When he was admitted he approached Uriel Septim VII with a small bundle of scrolls. "I just need your seal on these Sire." Ocato said.

"And what are these for?" Uriel asked, but then didn't listen to Ocato's answer as he began scanning through the scrolls. "Death Warrant Stay for Valen Dreth?"

"Yes Sire, he is scheduled for execution but has become quite ill. " Ocato said. "The feeling was that we could save the taxpayers Septims if he dies of natural causes; he appears to be close to death Sire."

Uriel shook his head but affixed the seal to the scroll.

"And this one?" Uriel asked.

Ocato drew himself up. He was proud that his quick actions had solved this case so quickly. "This one is the Death Warrant for the murderer of the new Grand Champion, Sire. That other scroll is for his accomplice, an Imperial Guard Sire! The order for the Guard is for a life term in prison, as he was just an accomplice after the fact and a hindrance to the investigation. He has already been stripped of his rank and position with the Guards, so his family would not be able to collect any benefits as well. I ordered the investigation myself Sire." Ocato preened a bit on the last words.

Uriel glanced down at the papers and reached for his seal. "So they found the body? The new Grand Champion is really dead then?" He was just asking to pass the time as he glanced over the sheets in front of him.

"Yes Sire. Bones were found in the Arena Bloodworks, the manager Owyn had been feeding the body of the Grand Champion to his boar.

Uriel's hand froze in mid air. "Owyn? The Arena Blademaster?" Uriel asked, surprised.

"Yes Sire. Seems he had succumbed to the charms of the white Khajiit, he being one of many she lured with her wiles." Ocato said, proud of his part in bringing the murder to light. He didn't notice the change of expression on the Emperor's face.

"Ocato, leave these papers with me, I have some thinking to do." Uriel said, a troubled look on his face.

"Y-Yes Sire" Ocato looked uncomfortable, wondering if he had said something to upset the Emperor. He bowed himself out of the room, bowing lower than he usually would in an attempt at supplicating the Emperor in case his words had caused the Emperor's tension that was now quite obvious on his face.

"Close the door behind you." Uriel called out, not even watching Ocato's bowing. Uriel's voice had a distracted note in it.

Ocato closed the door, then stood by it for some time before slowly walking back to his quarters. The Emperor had seemed quite troubled, and Ocato was trying to recall every word he had spoken so he could think of some way to correct the mistake.

When Ocato left Uriel began to pore over the papers, reading every word. A sweat had broken on his brow. "Owyn;" Uriel said quietly. Uriel had seen Owyn grow up to manhood. The man he knew was not capable of the things that were listed on this paper; but even had he been very capable of them now, Uriel knew the Khajiit still lived.

Uriel left his desk and walked to the window, looking out over his domain. "Then the time draws near." Uriel's voice wavered as he almost whispered the words.

***

In all his years Uriel had never seen a white Khajiit, except in his recent dreams. And in order for the white Khajiit to fulfill the prophecy he had been given she would have to be yet alive.

"I must prepare then." Uriel said quietly. Uriel asked the guards to remove from his quarters. He needed to be alone.

As Uriel slept that night, the vision returned once again. He saw a tiny baby bravely facing a Minotaur Lord over the bodies of her dead parents; her fists raised to the beast. The heart of a warrior.

He saw the compassion of an Imperial Guard that saved the young infant Khajiit from the beast and loved the infant when its odd appearance caused others to reject her, and the child holding that guard in her heart for a lifetime for his love. Loyalty.

Uriel saw the brave child facing the death of her caretaker and fleeing through a forest, her sheer inner strength keeping her alive.

He was shown her as a young advlt lying beaten on the road and her prayers to leave this life, and her troubled heart.

There was a glimpse of the Khajiit as a young advlt in Arena Raiment kneeling over the body of a blue Orc, and her heartbreak over his life and death. Compassion.

Another showed her sitting atop a crystal mountain crying, looking down into Skyrim; another fighting a great beast.

Uriel saw her pain, her courage, and the heart that would push her when another may have quit.

And then the vision began to show some things that troubled Uriel till he awoke with a jerk.

There would be a troubling future for this white Khajiit, but Uriel also saw much more beyond that.

Uriel sat up in bed staring out the window at the darkness beyond. He knew where this white Khajiit's path would lead her. He knew where his led. They would cross, they were destined to. But when?

One thing Uriel knew without a doubt, Owyn and a guard sat in jail for a murder that had not taken place.

***

Uriel sat down at his desk and pulled the two scrolls open again, read them, and then tore them up into tiny pieces. He pulled two blank scrolls out and wrote his orders for each of the accused on them. Then he stamped each with his seal. Uriel called Chancellor Ocato into his private quarters. When the meeting was over, Ocato was no longer strutting like a peacock in the breeding season.

The Elder Council was called to order. Chancellor Ocato sat in his high backed chair; his facial expression a perfect study of a thwarted child; his upset causing his skin to show an almost glowing blue. The Elder Council listened carefully as Uriel spoke. When Uriel finished speaking there was a shocked silence.

Three important developments in the case of the missing Grand Champion were changed drastically in that meeting. Instead of the order for execution they had been expecting, Uriel had signed a release for both Owyn and the Guard. The Guard was to be re-instated at one rank higher than he had been before the arrest, and both were to be compensated for the inconvenience with 10,000 Septims each. The search for the missing Grand Champion was to resume as a missing person, and when found she was to be brought to Uriel himself at the palace and given the proper show of respect and fine treatment.

The word spread through the Palace barracks that by the Emperor's command the prisoner's were to be released. The sealed documents were brought to the Imperial Prison. The Guard on duty was sent down into the dungeon to release the prisoners.

As the guard walked down the steps into the dungeon he could see the door to a cell hanging wide open. He hurried down the remaining steps. Two cell doors open.

Owyn and the Guard, the two prisoners he had been sent to release were gone.




*** Uriel Septim VII:


http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/35/l_b72ffbfceb68473ab3288f739c7be0b6.jpg


*** High Chancellor Ocato:


http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/86/l_13216eec191a4216bb60cc18fb1de006.jpg

How very interesting...I have been eagerly awaiting the post in which you would adress the arrests of the Blademaster and that guard. I shall continue to visit your story with the same intrest that you perked with this wonderful story. And I shall, as stated, await for the newest developement.

Thank you so much Arcry, it means a lot to me that you like the story!

Thank you. Im quite happy that my opinion holds such value to you.

Wow! This is wonderful! I had noted a couple of tiny errors, but I note that you caught and edited them already. :goodjob:

Take a look at this, with an eye on the last sentence:



The last part of this troubled me. I readily admit it may very well just be me. You are trying to build drama to climix at the end of this paragraph and you certainly do so. It seems your wording is awkward and perhaps the redundancy is not the best way to go in this case though. I don't know, but you might consider something like this:



***

mALX, your plot weaving continues to astound me. Never better illustrated than with the twists and turns intricately woven in and around this story. Old questions are answered only to be replaced by new questions. Part of the mystery is solved only to reveal another puzzle. Crosscurrents at odds with each other, but with enough connecting threads to realize it is all connected? fascinatingly somehow. :read:

Simply masterful!

I had already fixed it before reading this, but your edit sounds much better than mine! Thanks so much Acadian, you notice so much that I don't. And thank you for the compliments to the story, that really makes me feel good. I just have to re-write chapters 13 & 14 and the whole story will be a lot better. I have used all the critiques (hopefully well enough) in the re-write, so the story should show a lot of improvement from beginning to end.

@Arcry - It does, your opinion is very appreciated!

I am continuing to be impressed, again and again by your sheer dedication, and your ability to grow as a writer...

In all the time I have been here I have not seen ONE writer who was dedicated enough to rewrite her chapters to reaccomodate the enlarged vision of her new found abilities through absorbing criticism...

Thanks for living and writing, maLX1.

And now with your last chapter the pieces of your story are finally coming together.

YAYYYY!!!

Thanks D.Foxy! You had a lot to do with the better fight scenes on the re-write, I couldn't have made it sound so good without you! I appreciate your input a lot, and thank you for reading it.



@ Everyone: I have set up some picture albums on Maxical's Myspace page of all her travels here. The pictures are in the order you should find them in the story. (some of the pics may give clues to her future in the story, so if you don't like spoilers, lol) Anyway, here is the link:

http://www.myspace.com/oblivion_khajiit

@ Everyone: I have set up some picture albums on Maxical's Myspace page of all her travels here. The pictures are in the order you should find them in the story. (some of the pics may give clues to her future in the story, so if you don't like spoilers, lol) Anyway, here is the link:

http://www.myspace.com/oblivion_khajiit

Love the new episode. Good pacing and the mixture of familiar things with the mysterious.

I still see the occasional overworked word. Where the section relating to U.S's dreams are concerned you need to be as sparing as possible with that word "dream". There was also a section where the word "path" popped up uncomfortably often. The only reason I notice these things is because I was terrible about redundancies in all my original drafts and had to work very hard to eradicate them. Despite my best efforts, I could always find a few that snuck into the final copy.

With your writing, I am starting to get that same anticipation for the next instalment that only Acadian's work has evoked in the past.

Oh thank you for that! I appreciate that so much, is it better now? I edited out several of each word.

** Thank you for all your help Bobg - the changes make it much better!

Based on what Bobg has shown me in the last two posts, I have gone back and re-re-written chapter 1 (and added in some dialogue Acadian). I found a ton of the wordiness Bobg was talking about, so just re-wrote the whole thing. Thank you Bobg! I hate to ask, but if anyone gets any time free, could someone take a peek at it and critique it for me? I am scanning throught the other chapters I just re-wrote and looking for that wordiness in them too. I appreciate you all so much! Thank you for all your help <3

You mention Arwen as an inspiration, and that is obviously true. The thing I loved about her story- and this one, is that there is no feeling of "I am describing a CRPG." This is a story about a person who happens to inhabit the same world as the one about which there is a computer game. The joy of your style and approach is that it makes the game fresh and new- it makes it much richer for people like me who have played too many CRPGs and have grown cynical.

You breathe such life into Maxical that I can see her adventures and misfortunes, and feel fear when she is in danger. This is why I love writing and why I loved to teach writing- seeing the world through the eyes of another, sharing their experiences... there is nothing better.

What a gift you have given us.