I haven't received a great deal of comments (the ones I've received, however, have been wonderful!), and it seems like the interest in my story has greatly been reduced. More or less, I'm curious to see what your opinions are concerning my story, and give you the opportunity to offer criticism. I worry that I've made people feel like they can't comment, or that they think they aren't allowed to offer criticism. Seriously, I really want to know what people think.

Also, I'm concerned that maybe some of you have stopped reading it due to some of its content--if this is so, I can assure you that Part Three has much less sixual content; however, if you've kept up with the story thus far, you know Syl is entering marriage to an abusive man, so there are more scenes of violence. (And in Book Two, there is even less sixuality, as Syl will almost entirely swear off six and live a more celibate lifestyle more often than not....)

:toughninja: And for those who may want more action and less mushy stuff--you may find Book Two more satisfying, as I promise: more action/fighting scenes, and less of the mushy stuff! :kiss:

Anyway, please express your opinion! I'll hold no hard feelings. Honestly, if you have criticism, lay it on me! I want to know, so I can make my writing even better. No one is ever too good for improvement! Give me feedback, people!!!

So, without further ado, I give you free range to fire away!

I personally have nothing wrong with the story. The six scenes to me are nothing, I don't mind them at all. It makes your characters seem more human than "Less sixual characters". Also, I got to be honest. You have had the longest fanfic I have read in the forum with truly amazing character development and plots. Each demented character and maniac breathes life that equally matches the Shivering Isles in ways I never really imagined. And that's from someone who dislikes the Shivering Isles(The Maniacs anyways). You must not be discouraged because of the lack of comments. Such thing is normal here in the forums because we don't have alot of members who visit this section. Those that do are either busy with RPs or just come to see some fanwork such as art or videos. Remember that many of us have real life to attend to, so much that we can't even keep up with the RP we are in(I am speaking for some individuals).

I am not one for reviewing because that is not one of my skills. But I can say that I never imagined Syl the way you wrote about her. The story goes into the life of Syl imagined by you and hopefully will tell the tale of why she was so paranoid the way she was. The Shvering Isles cover so little but the story is interesting. And the thing that I like about it is that it takes place in a Daedric Realm. While we know of the Shivering Isles, we still lack much information of mortals living in Daedric Realms. As we see in the game that Dagon's realm is a steaming pile of rock and lava. It's dead and bleak with no friendly life. But that's just that. You created complex characters in a wonderful and vibrant realm tat keeps the readers engaged. And as the comments on your story have said; You did and still are doing an excellent job on it. I can say no more, as I enjoyed the chapters. six, violence and all that to me is natural. Keep up the good story and do not be discouraged by the lack of comments.

Well, thank you! That's very reassuring. I'll admit, I do get a little discouraged, but mostly I just wanted to hear more opinions about what people think. I mean, this probably sounds weird, but I'm surprised not to have had any criticism... Not that I want to be criticized--I just want to make sure that if there's anything anyone wants me to improve on, they'll let me know... Sounds crazy, right? :rolleyes:

Also, I've wanted to create a poll for awhile now, but I don't have anything to create a poll on, besides curiosity about the opinions on my story.... More or less, I thought it would be kind of fun, and interesting... I like polls and statistics. They're revealing and also fun! :teehee:

Not enough six! No, I'm just kidding. It's great! If no one has complained yet, then they must not have any complaints. That in and of itself should be taken as a compliment!

Thanks. I guess that's a good way of looking at it!

well I,ve only read the prologue so far and it was wonderful, that's a understatement it was better than wonderful

Beacause if you recieve criticism, you know somebody is reading your fan fic carefully.

As I told you before. reading text off a screen is difficult for me, and I am not normally a fan of romance, Iain M. Banks's Culture novels being my cup of tea, so very hard for your work to please me, but it does anyway.
I don't understand why you are worrying at all, your writing style is good, and if you worry about changing the content to please, maybe you will not please yourself, and at the end of the day, you are the one who has to believe in your work to make it worthwhile.
Keep it up, and keep writing the way you want to.

Okay, who voted 'not enough sixuality'? If you were only joking, I love your sense of humor! :hubbahubba: But if you were serious...? Maybe you should look into counseling, or go find smutty novels at the library! It's meant to be mature, not trashy!!! :tongue:



Precisely! Thank you for understanding my meaning!



Thank you. I suppose that's very true... I wish Bethesda would have paid attention when I contacted them so I could have perhaps gotten it published. Honestly, I think it would end up being more popular outside of the ES and gamer universe.... And then maybe even draw in a few newcomers to the ES games...? But I suppose we'll never know now... :shrug: Oh well--I've still enjoyed writing it, and rewritting it, and editing it (it's gone through a lot of re-working since the project first began a year and a half ago...). I write for myself, but I love to share it with others who might also enjoy it!

Bah! Why put a poll then? I also voted it's not demented enough! I don't need counceling, I am my own councelor.

All jokes aside, yea, I wonder who would vote for that.

/rage :ahhh:

lol. I wondered if anyone would actually pick that one. It's pretty funny, and I meant it as a joke. I'm actually glad someone picked it, because it's good for a laugh. :laugh:

Yeah, it's not very demented in the first book. Syl is still trying to figure herself out, and the madness hasn't completely enveloped her at this point. But...there's more to come....

This is madness!

This is the Shivering Isles!

Yes, you started off with a simple self-mutilation and that Uncle Leo craziness(Pretty nasty). I will await the dementia! I never liked the Maniacs, maybe because my madness is strictly demented.

Yes.... must start more slowly, and build up to a crescendo... We'll see more of her darkness begin to emerge before the first book is over, but her dementedness really comes out in book 2. :hubbahubba: I'm not much of a maniac, myself. It's kind of funny, because I'm more close to the demented and my husband is more like the manics without the whole drug thing... We sort of balance eachh other out pretty well... Hmmm maybe that's why I'm so into Thadon and Syl's story...?

PS. Is that a play on a line from 300? "This is madness!" "This is Sparta!" (I love that movie...)

Sorry, I couldn't resist. It's not my fault that I am a growing teen.

Smutty is what someone calls me here...Now I know what "smutty" means. I am starting to believe everyone here is a bad influence on me...


I like dark and demented! Though, I would be more of a "maniac". I simply find spinning someone around in circles then pushing them down a hill (or make them run through a minefield) ab-so-lute-ly hilarious


Oh, and don't be discouraged that you get no comments! Yar still have readers! And if you really want criticism, then I will be labelled a "grammar Nazi" or "english teacher".

I just noticed that the number of views does not go up when I read a bit. Does this mean it is not 578 times viewed, but a number of views from 578 people? If so, you may think previous readers have lost interest, when this is not the case.

Lol, it's all good. It was hilarious to see that someone picked that. Yeah, I've actually had to keep myself in check to keep the "love" scenes from getting too "smutty". (I don't want it to cross the fine line between romantic novel and pormographic novel... :hubbahubba: )

And maniac isn't all bad--I'm married to one, after all, and he helps me be funnier, while I help him be a little more serious...

As far as everyone here being a bad influence on you... perhaps we are, but 'bad' is a relative term.

And if you want to be a grammar nazi, feel free. However, I edit my own work over and over looking for errors, so I'll be pleasantly surprised if you find some I missed. :thumbsup: (Maybe that's why there's no criticism, after all? I'm obsessive about editing--there's nothing more irritating to me than to read a professionally published book with several errors in it--I've even found grammatical and spelling errors in grammar text books, which is pretty sad...)



I never noticed that. Wow, so if that is how it counts it, 578 is a lot of readers for a forum novel. Sweet! ^_^

My favourite bit was the 2nd chapter where Syl meets Thaddon. You put in great detail the description of the isles in chapter 1 which was marvelous.

Why, thank you. I put in all that detail because of wanting to publish it, because if it were published it would likely have reached people who had never even played the game (having a catchy title helps, of course...). I know for those who have been to the Shivering Isles, it's probably a bit extensive (one could even say boring). But yeah, I liked the idea of making them meet as children, and sort of start off their friendship when they were both still too young and innocent to really understand the division between their people. It's sort of what draws them to each other, is their history and all of that. :slap:

Part of my reason for writing this book was to answer the main questions I had myself: 1. Why did these two drastically different people decide to risk death itself to have an affair? 2. If you pay close attention to the whole story line and what each of the characters say at different points, you see that they really love each other, but they were too different to actually have a successful relationship. So, how did they fall in love? and finally, 3. What made the Duchess of Dementia so paranoid and seemingly cold and bloodthirsty? :flame:

I like depth, and I believe that everyone has depth, even those who seem shallow. And I am especially interested in sort of getting into people's minds, figuring out how their minds work (in other words, I'm into psychology...). So, of course, characters who are supposed to be insane are greatly interesting to me. It started out simply with me having questions about the story in the game, and finding few to no answers, I decided to expand on it and create my own beginning to go along with the end that Bethedsa created. It's been a very enjoyable process, working on the development, changing the story when I wasn't satisfied, and watching it sort of evolve from my original concept to what it has become. And since Book 2 is still not finished, I'm sure the story will continue to evolve until I am satisfied with what I've created. Writing is so much fun! :user:

This thread has run its course. How do I lock it? :spotted owl:

You say *click*.