i put the whole lot including src folder (whatever that is) is that ok?

do you make the plug ins folder manually? because i haven't got one, not that im gonna install obse plug ins (for now)

The main folders in which you will be installing anything will be the following (writing the directory paths so you know)

Mods in general

Oblivion(this is your game obviously)/ Data(this contains the esp, esm files that you need to have checked to make the game run. Simple enough)

Now say you want to install an armor mod, this is the simplest example.

unzip your file to say "my downloaded mods" on your destop, anywheres works. Then copy and paste the Meshes, Textures, and the esp file into the Data folder. Overwrite when prompted. Now, some mods will have Sound, Menu and other folders don't panic, it is the same situation. As for the OBMM you can run the exe file and it'll auto install into the directory properly. Wrye Bash is different, you need some things to install beforehand. Python will need to be installed first, the latest version is best. Install this following the commands and I recommend the basic recommended directories. (hopefully you have xp system or something similar too) Once this is installed get the latest WryeBash and install it into your Oblivion folder NOT the Data folder. This is simple enough.

OBSE is similar just install it to the Oblivion folder (before DATA) and for any plugins for it, you will most likely have to make the folder. This will be the following path(others may correct me) It should be the following: Data/OBSE/Plugins and in the plugin folder is where all your dll files will go. These are your plugins for OBSE.

Now I will briefly explain the good things with OBSE, OBMM, WryeBash, and BOSS( since I now have a better understanding from the technical aspect)

Games like all programs load things from top to bottom. Like you would read a book, from the top of the page to the bottom. Oblivion's esm file is the first thing that should be loading, this sets up the game and all the materials/resources within it. Following after this would be any race mods, overhauls, quests, armor weapons ect ect. Everything loads from the top down. Bottom of the list is the last thing loaded and usually wins out so it over writes the data previous(that used the same exact items or location) Sometimes this is good other times it's bad, and hence a conflict occurs. I'll cover this later.

BOSS was made so every mod (esp and esm) is to be loaded in the proper order, sometimes this is not perfect, so hand placement needs to be done. It is much easier to sort them out like this than hand placing, BOSS sets a good foundation and then hand adjust things as needed.
Wrye Bash- this solves a lot of things, as it's Based Patch features makes everything play nice together, and you can hand re-order everything as you want(and should to make it run smoothly) There are many functions for it that are very useful. It CAN be tricky and confusing to use, but when you get used to it, you'll never leave it.
OBMM- There are mods that are in OMOD format, this bundles everything nicely together so it saves the user from going through the pain of risking not having everything installed right. It has archive invalidation which helps solve some problems, especially when you use texture packages that make things prettier. It's a useful tool and makes installing things easier. BAIN is a similar tool that I have not used yet.
OBSE- This extends the scripts so we can do all sorts of wonderful things. I won't get into the technical aspects, but there are some incredible mods, and overhauls that require this. It is both an excellent piece to use just as a gamer and using mods, but when you are making them. The limits you have are far less restricting. You will have access to mods like Unnecessary Violence, Deadly Reflex, Fearsome Magicka, there's more mod names I could mention but they elude my mind's grasp right now.

Once everything is straightened out, and you're used to installing mods, things will be infinitely easier for you.

thanks that was a real help, i will use the obmm to install mods, as for the obse i copied all files to oblivion (not data folder) and i don't want any plugins so is it safe to leave it alone and just use the launcher to open the game?

The src folder is just programming information, you are not going to use it, though I don't think it can hurt anything being there. Yes you can just make the plugins folder manually. You mentioned you wanted to install OSR, that is an OBSE plugin. Oblivion\Data\obse\plugins

The OBSE package comes with 2 loaders, one is for Steam installs. If you are not using Steam, you should delete that file to avoid confusion.

I've yet to see a mod that creates it, I usually create the OBSE/Plugins folder directory as soon as I install obse. I was in your place a year ago, so it does not take long to figure out.

ok thanks everyone, im leaving it for now but next i'll install uop's and tescs (construction set) then onto mods!

You can use OBMM, but I prefer using the shortcut to the OBSE launcher. The issue is that sometime using the launcher through the utility, the game is launched fine, but then the utility fails to exit. OBMM and Wrye Bash can eat up a ton of memory, so having those guys running in the background is not good. I have not ever had that issue with OBMM, but after multiple experiences with Wrye Bash, I shied away from the in-program launchers. Now, I have started using Bash's again, since it seems to work fine now, but I still use the OBSE launcher shortcut the vast majority of the time...

Edit: by launch "fine", I mean they launch OBSE if it is there or not, so that is not a concern either...

sorry i meant obse launcher to open game, but thanks for explaining about the obmm launcher

You should stick to the OBSE_launcher. If you are not using OBSE-dependent mods, that is not necessary, but chances are, you will, so get used to it now. There is nothing beneficial in launching the other way anyway.

Heh, i just throw every mod in there, BOSS and Bash it, and start playing, has worked for me quite well so far But that careful adding would propably be the smarter thing to do.