I'm late to the party with NV on my pc and have been searching the forums but am getting scattered brain. I remember with FO3 there were a few MUST have programs like FOMM etc. Is that still the same with NV and if so could you please provide a list? Also are there any must have performance mods that i should get?

There's already a thread with a list of essential mods.

Try searching for "Recommended"

FOMM is still a must have, since it now supports NV too. NVSE is a must have, just like FOSE was for FO3. Beyond that, there's NVEdit, and the NV equivalent of Wyre Bash, which I can't recall the name of offhand.

For performance mods, there aren't too many. NV Stutter Remover is the big one.