Well, I don't exactly have a bed time because my parents know me well enough to know that I'm responsible and if I really do have to get up early, then I'll go to bed on time. Sometimes parents need you to tell them that though. If you don't have a very good track record, then you're screwed I'm afraid.

Still, not all hope is lost. As others have said, you could move out, but that's a bit drastic and I personally love my house and room too much to pay rent for a crappy apartment with paper-thin walls, and leaky pipes, and a pissed off land lord. Freedom is worth it my ass. Try spending one day away from your awesome gaming set up and cool room to instead have to wash your own crap stains. Not nice. :shakehead:

So yeah, try and talk things through. It's the only non-violent way. Or you could become an hero. . .

Oh, that. In my case, that was the most peaceful way to resolve it possible. My parents are capable of the blackest hell-spawned fury when confronted directly. So, instead, I play the part of the subversive until they give up by degrees.

Fiendish-seeming solution? Yes. But the relationship between me and my parents is one where this sort of thing is a lot better for everyone than direct confrontation.

EDIT: Besides which, I got the nickname "demon-spawn" in elementary school, so close enough.

Oh, I didn't mean it in a negative way.

I don't have a bedtime, my parents just 'recommend' I go to bed before 3:00 am. I don't. However that is not actually a good thing.

If you're not in perfect health, even if it doesn't help you feel better, getting more sleep is the best thing for your recovery. Also, the majority rules thing, it does have some merit. They've spent at least 400 thousand dollars (probably a lot more) to raise you and are still financially supporting you...

And finally, your parents are probably setting a bedtime not so they can get more sleep, but because they care about your well being. I'm sorry, but I'd have to side with your parents on this one. Though it does kinda svck though that you have a bedtime, a curfew makes sense, but a bedtime? Ya, svcks, but it's probably healthy for you.

This post has some very sound thinking.

Is part of the reason they are treating you like a child related to your behavior - as in perhaps behaving like a child the past few years. Not meaning that as an insult, but from a parental point of view, perhaps you had a run of behavior that scared the bejeebus out of your parents, but is also making them still see you as a child. So to my thinking, the best course of action, since the "just move out" response is wildly impractical to put in place just like that, is to sit down with your parents and, well, negotiate. It sounds like you can't afford to move out right now, which happens, no big deal. But I can also understand you chafing under some parental rules at nineteen, that were acceptable at, say, 14.

If you need to, acknowledge issues from the past, but explain some changes you would like - and perhaps, to show them maturity and thoughtfulness, offer up some help in return. Do they need help around the house - whether it's repainting some rooms over the summer, a lawn work schedule or something, and explain that you would like them to back off giving you a bedtime. It doesn't sound like you are out running with a bad crowd, but if you want to stay up late and play games or something, tell them you will use headphones and be quiet so as not to disturb them, etc. I am just tossing out ideas but the bottom like, try to help them see you as more mature and responsible these days and hope that they will back off treating you like you are much younger.


Edit - I removed a few random, pointless posts that did not appear to have anything to actually do with the topic. I know there are a few more in the thread, but... I have to go to work.

You're nineteen? Are you in college? Employed? You sleep until noon? What sort of health problems do you have? My husband has spina bifida, and I have diabetes, we've found employers more than willing to work with us.
Get your own place, pay your own bills, problem solved.

As for the exorscism, my condolences. My mom and church congregation tried to "excorsise" demons from me when I went into hypoglycemic convulsions. Been there, done that, it svcks.

Your best bet is to move out, remove yourself from your current situation.

18 is the age of advlthood. You can vote, join the armed forces, and be charged as an advlt at 18. You can't drink alcohol until the age of 21.

If your parents don't change their ways after you've had a word with them you're just going to have to put up with it until you move out. Do what I did: move out and share a house with friends. I left home at 18, one of the best things I ever did.

The sooner you stop letting your 'emotional health' become an excuse the better.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that, but I can assure you it isn't just an excuse.

To answer a few questions:

No I don't have a job
Yes, I am in college
No, I don't have a car
My health issues involve aforementioned emotional/depression issues which have calmed quite a bit from what they were at, say, a month ago. I'm also deficient in vitamins and testosterone while being pre-diabetic on top of that. I've had such horrible fatigue that some days I literally could not make myself get out of bed. (The sleeping until noon thing is unrelated, I've been doing that for years.)

I'd also like to clarify that my parents aren't being Nazis all the time. It's just that the whole bedtime thing is getting very old and sometimes I know they aren't using their best judgement when it comes to dealing with situations.

http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?/topic/1193986-needing-some-advice-concerning-parents/page__view__findpost__p__17738500

Maybe they're encouraging you to move out?

OP, i cant imagine what it would have been like still living at home at your age.
I am not sure if there is something inhibiting you and apologize if its been covered, but I didnt read all of the replies.. point balnk, move.
start your life without your parents. your own place, your own rules.
Understanably, rent can be pricey. Thats what room mates are for.

Put out an ad on CL. look in the penny saver. do something.
YOu say you have no motivation. get some. take the wheel and drive your life to a destination you like.

Be better off to just stay at your parents until you are done with college. Working and college at the same time svcks. I haven't had a bed time since I was 14, though. You need to tell them to start treating you more like an advlt.

I have the same issue as the OP. I am very babied because I'm an only child and I'm sick of it. However, I go to bed around 9:30 or 10 on my own because I just get bored towards the end of the night and figure maybe tomorrow will be more interesting As for sleeping in, I cant stand it. I dont see how people can waste a day laying in bed. I go to bed early and rise early, my parents sleep in until noon on some weekends.

But as for what you can do I would get a job or help out or something to show your parents that you are responsible enough to do things on your own. If you already have a job and help out around the house and they still treat you like that then I dont know what to tell you :shrug:

Maybe you can reach a compromise such as paying rent or something.
And your in college so pray that your degree can land you a job.

Tell them you have just found out you got a STD to scare/worry them.

What time is your bedtime OP?


This will definitely make them less controlling. Yup.

Maybe he'll get another exorcism to get rid of his AIDS.

MFan, I haven't yet seen you respond to the suggestion of a headset. I don't know if you use one, but if you don't I can understand why your parents get pissed. I wouldn't want to hear anyone in the house listen to music/play games while I'm trying to get some sleep. And you can close the door of your own room, so you don't bother them with your light.

If neither of those suggestions helps, either listen to your parents or get your own place. I wouldn't even try to reason with people who believe in exorcisms.

My apologies, been busy playing WoW so I've just been skimming. I actually game downstairs, while my parents sleep upstairs, apparently what disturbs them is my actually going to bed, not my gaming or being up.

Because apparently walking by for five seconds is enough to stop you from sleeping. <_<

They have complained about my being too loud every now and then, due to hectic multiplayer with friends etc, but I'm going to be insulating my room to make it as sound proof as possible soon.

Sorry if you've already explained this, I have class soon and don't have time to read all the way back, but why don't you start looking at moving out? Is there any reason in particular you won't move out?

Tell your parents to deal with it. If they shout at you, walk away. If the follow you, go to your room, lock the door, and play vidga games. This isn't that hard.

If they come down to you at 3am in the morning while you're doing stuff, tell them to [censored] off.

Wait what ? How did you manage to pay for a house while attending college by the age of 18 without taking a loan ?

I′m 18 and I can only work part time because of college so I don′t have enough income to pay for a house and to support myself, and I don′t want to take a loan. What did you do ?

On topic though, your parents seem a little manipulative. My parents have been pretty nice but they do tend to try and tell me my lifestyle is bad but after them telling me how they faked ID′s to get into nightclubs as young advlts and knowing they drink and smoke and had their first child early on. I′m able to persuade them that I′m leading a better lifestyle than they did in the first place since I′m not doing any of those.

Don′t you know anything about your parents past that you can mention to make your 'going late to bed' seem less serious ? For me I just say "At least I′m not out faking my ID to get into bars" or "At least I′m not picking up smoking and drinking" or "At least I′m not knocking some girl up before having a full time job and a house"

If they don′t have any past to reflect on or if you don′t know anything about their past then I suppose you′re in trouble. But if they were doing far more serious stuff than you are, then reminding them of that should make them feel pretty mellow.


Edit: Response to Feral Guardian who posted below this post.



Hissss! The unholy word! Do not speak of it!

Anyway I′m getting along with my parents oki, so I will stay at hotel mama for some time but I was still interested in hearing how others seem to do it under the restricting conditions I made of being in college and not taking a loan. Maybe it′s just not possible.

Rent a cheap aparment, which is easier said than done that that age. Especially if you are male. You'll either need to take out a loan or have some money saved. I got lucky and got along well with my parents so stayed home for a few years after highschool, worked, and saved enough money to get me through the first couple years of school. I would really suggest not going to post secondary right away, because from what I have seen of the 17-18 years olds in first year... How the hell do these people survive. Work a couple years, save some money and learn some responsibility.

because his parent's totally wouldn't do something extreme inresponse to that, lol like an exorcism or something.... oh wait, they already did.

yeah the above doesn't work, the having an attitude part. I said earlier that I made my own bed time by just not going to sleep and because you can't force some one to sleep. but like morrowindfan has already said that his parents will turn of the internet which is why he said he is up so late, so he can't really do any thing about that unless he wants to stay up that late reading a book. which is what I was doing back then so it was harder for my mom to take away the things I was doing while up so late.