Right, so to cut the story short, I'm 19 and still have a bedtime.

Yes, you heard me. I still have an enforced bedtime, and quite frankly it annoys the HELL out of me. Not so much because I don't want my parents to encourage me to get enough sleep, but because they get VERY [censored]y if I'm even just a few minutes late, repeatedly yelling at me to get in bed. Yes I have health issues right now, but how much sleep I get doesn't matter, I still feel crappy either way. Now on top of that it's currently summer, so I have no reason nor motivation to wake up before noon. Repeatedly they tell me that if I get in bed on time more then they will ease up a bit, yet I can't show that I'm responsible enough to call it quits at a reasonable hour due to the fact that they ALWAYS tell me to get in bed no matter how many times I make it on time.

This. Has. To. Stop. Now. I'm 19, MY being up should not prevent THEIR going to sleep. If they think I'm too loud, or if my going to bed later disturbs them, could they not close their door? Yeah, they could, but, uh, they aren't. They haven't done anything to sort of have a "middle ground" in terms of giving me more freedom and the ability to show my being responsible. And I get that my dad has to go to work, but there are things that can be done to prevent his sleep from being disturbed.

So essentially, how would you guys go about telling them to shove off in a polite, yet firm way? I'm just sick of being treated like a kid, and it's really starting to make me want to find a way to move out now. The reason I'm asking here is because I've tried to talk to them about it before, yet they keep pulling the whole "Majority rule, my house my rules" crap. Even as I speak my dad just yelled for me to take a shower.

Any advice? I could REALLY use help before I jump off the deep end and yell right back. Because, frankly, I've had it.

There's no easy way to approach this situation.
You could say you're of age, and that you get to determine what you can/can't do.
However, they can then come back and say "well than it's time for you to move out".
Truly... There's no clear cut solution.

It's pretty crappy they're treating you like a kid, but... in the end, it's their roof. A tough spot.

Indeed, I really wish my life was a BioWare game.

Paragon: "Fine, I'll go to bed"
Neutral: "Let's work something reasonable out, shall we?"
Renegade: "I'm sick of your snide insinuations!" *punch*

Your avi... I can't stop staring at it.

I hate that argument so much. If OP pays board/has some kind of agreement to work around the house, then he's a tenant.

Well, you do live in their house. So I would imagine this means you live by their rules. I know that's not what you want to hear, but that's the way it is. I was unable to do that and got kicked out at 18, very messily I might add. Didn't talk to my dad for like two and a half years.

You say you have health issues. Do they prevent you from working and getting your own place? Maybe with a room mate?

You could try bringing up the issue again, try not to get to aggravated, find out why you still need a bedtime. Don't know what else to say.

Or you could tell them that as well, indeed. I presume that just might have the effect of confusing them enough so that, by the time their brains unfreeze from the confusion, you'll be long gone from the premises.

Or possibly a prisoner.


Lights Out, worm!

If you choose to go that route then they can just kick you out. And doing chores is not the same as paying rent.

Sorry OP, but short of moving out, you have to sit them down, and have a civilized, grown-up conversation with them. If they still refuse, then I don't see anything you can do.

Get a job, get some money, get a small apartment.

Depending or your area, the law would disagree with you.

Depending on your area, your "landlord" can just kick you out for any old reason if you don't have a lease agreement

Ah, be thankful for English Law's "everything is a lease, even when it isn't".

Well if he just plain and straight disobeys them there's not much they can do, either. What could they do, prevent him from going out of his room or outside the house? Then he can just plainly disobey that as well. After you hit a certain age (IMHO above 18-ish) there's really not much your parents can prevent you from doing unless they want to resort to beating you. Presuming that at that age you're reasonable and psychologically more or less grown up, which the OP seems to be, that's quite a good thing because you can just disobey the unreasonable requests from your parents (which you should be able to discern, because we've presumed that you're a reasonable person).

Here landlords can only hold you accountable for what is in the written lease, which is both a blessing and a curse. Of course someone just living at home doing chores wouldn't be considered a tenant here either.


You say that until you find your stuff on the lawn when you get home

They can kick him out. He is an advlt.
^^^Def knows what's up.

Unless they choose to starve you, and I wouldn't put it past my parents to try that. Fortunately they're pretty reasonable most of the time. They don't charge me for living here and I don't ask them for money.

Well then they're unreasonable, and he should move out.

As controlling as OPs parents seem to be I wouldn't put it past them to do something drastic like kick him out

Aren't people in USA only "advlts" when they hit 21?

If it's legal for custodians to just throw minors out into the street then your country svcks big-time.



If you're still a minor, call social services/child protective services/whatever it's called where you live. If there's no such thing where you live, once again, your country svcks big time.

If it's on the first offense, I'd agree. However blatant disobedience of your parents is just as bad as unbending parents. A middle ground does need to be reached, and if it can't, yeah, move out (preferably before kicked out for causing too much tension in the home). Parents are just like anyone else: they have a breaking point too, and probably do a bunch for you that you may not realize in your rage over something else.

Basically: talk to them, try and work it out with reason, otherwise move out.

*Yes, I know, I used the universal you. I appologize for that. Hey, at least I didn't use the royal we, right?

18.

21 to drink.

Nor here. Not without a more concrete contractual relationship. I think some Europeans don't realise just how little prtection there is for people who aren't paying their way in Common Law systems:

Well I'm not a minor, and neither is MorrowindFan. We could theoretically be thrown out or witheld food and there wouldn't be a thing we could do but leave.