Before you read warning contains spoilers.
seriously I can not be the only one disapointed by the ending either you blow up the institute, BoS, or both. no middle ground.
There needs to be a way to get through the events with out causing a full scale war. (aka I like the goodies from both the BoS and institute and want them both on one playthrough)
personal suggestion, use dance.
IT is uncommon knowledge that there is cut lines from dance taking over the brotherhood. I suggest that bethesda re-add that quest line and have it be the "peaceful" rout.
basic idea
step one: convence dance to take over the brother hood (requires taking him as a companion after he is spared and running into a random event which is a few brother hood deserters who upon learning that dance is alive ask to join him.
step two: build a small force, using minute men, the group of brother hood deserters and a few people from the pridwin (the mechanic, armory master, and science people)
this step would be the hardest step as to get the minutemen in you have to do a large chunk of the minutemen quests and have 3 settlements with 60+ happiness and 10+ settlers.
step three: send a message to Maxson, this part has you and dance taking a vertibird to the pridwin and telling Maxson that dance wishes to take over the brother hood, intating a skism in the ship, Maxson accepts but instead of showing up alone like he is suppose to he arrives with two knights who he orders to kill dance, you and what ever follower is with you. (all three are in t60 power armor and have upgraded gattling lasers)
step four: kill Maxson, simple step just win the fight above.
step five: retake the pridwin from the remainder of Maxsons followers (basicly kill a small amount of BoS in t-60 armor, and 2 vertibirds)
step six: send a message to the institute asking for peace. (This is actually 3 or 4 steps, including finding a courser and passing a set of speech checks for them to deliver a holo tape, talking to the father and a political thing like in skyrims main quest.)
step seven: resive a hybrid end, in which events can go one of three ways.
1. peace but at a cost, the BoS will act as institute security over the commonwealth at the cost of the institute giving all research notes to the BoS and stopping there synth and FEV programs. (synths still seen as a problem and robots)
2. peace at a loss, both the BoS and institute will pull forces from the commonwealth, leaving it to the people above. (Results in almost all synth locations becoming bandit/gunner locations, with a few make shift settlements, minutemen police but are heavily out gunned)
3. Peace at a gain, both the institute and brotherhood are convened to help the commonwealth as to create a new safe place for all, be they synth, ghoul, or man, this ending requires convening the railroad to join the talks (can also convince them to bomb the talks). This ending has coursers and BoS knights working together to clear out hostile areas and improve living for settlements (all settlements gains +20 security and one settler, a BoS knight. As well as synth type 1 and 2's being something the player can buy for settlements to work crops)
ending 3 of this idea is the hardest to get, as you must have good relations with the BoS, minutmen, railroad, and have done some minor help for the institute (first two quests with out harming them)