Are you sure that Alix ran from the room? Perhaps he rolled instead, over and over down those stairs!! :lmao:

Kudos goes to Mr and Mrs Treydog. An amazing addition to the already crazy world of mALX. :icecream:
Skingrad will never be the same.......

Thank you so much Winter Wolf! Lol, no one thought he could run, he surprised even me writing it, lol. Thank you for sending the Kudos to Treydog and Mrs. Treydog, they definately deserve it!

So you are saying that Mrs. Treydog looks like http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/685/alixmoose1.jpg oo: I thought that he was married to a Dark Elf?

I will dogfully refrain from commenting on Mrs.Treydog's appearance (she is a member of Rodentia- but a Lapin rather than a Mus- hence her Great Rabbit sobriquet).

First- many thanks, mALX1, for taking my vaguely considered idea and running with it. Mrs. Treydog and I had great fun creating Alix's portrait. And he sat for it quite patiently. (Either that, or the run had tired him to the point he was unable to move....)

I had to stop reading numerous times to recover myself. I think we need to amend our "Rules for Reading About Maxical" to include:

"Take a bathroom break first."

It was an Awesome inspiration, just like the rodent medal that you made. - and your Courier was perfect just as you sent it! Thank you and Mrs Treydog both for that, you both ROCK!!


@ SubRosa - I take it that I phrased that wrong, lol. Uh... Mrs. Treydog's portrait of Alix? - My apologies Mrs. Treydog!!! Thanks SubRosa!

Chapter 43: Getting To Know Your Jailor





Day 2

So far it has not been too bad being incarcerated in Janus's castle, although he was quite upset by the expense of my first day. He had to replace all the carpeting in his suite, quite a few dishes, a new ewer, two glass cases, and new towels and soaps. He also purchased a new golden tub because he refuses to bathe in one that has been contaminated by a rodent. Still, for all his tension when he received the invoice, I was pleased that he did not return the frame he had purchased for Alix's portrait.

Janus was busy directing the laying of the new carpets, so when a servant delivered a large heavy mallet to pound spikes into the wall and hang the portrait, I decided to help out and do the work myself. I tentatively tapped at the spike with the mallet, but the heavy cut stone blocks of the wall would not give. I angled to garner the whole strength of my arm into the next hit, drawing back my arm with the mallet in it. Just as I began swinging my arm to strike the spike I was surprised by Janus's voice in my ear shouting, "NO!" as he grabbed my wrist to stop its motion. I was startled into dropping the mallet, which fell upon Janus's foot. I could tell it was painful by the bellowing.

"Oh, I am so sorry Janus, you startled me, will you be all right? I am not good in healing, or I would be able to assist you in your pain." I looked into his cowl that he could see the apology in my eyes. I really was sorry, I would not want to hurt him.

"Just lean the portrait on a shelf, do not use the mallet or spikes!" Janus's voice reflected the pain...or maybe it was anger.

"But is that not what they were sent up for? I was trying to help ease your burden." I watched as Janus healed himself.

"Do you think you could teach me to do that? Arch Mage Traven said he would close the doors of the Arcane if I returned there for Restoration lessons." I was surprised by a spontaneous laugh from Janus.

"I can well believe that," his voice had lost the strained sound it had held since receiving the bill this morning.

I smiled up at him, glad he was no longer upset with me.

Janus talked again when we sat down for our meal. His conversation is stimulating, he finds subjects that intrigue the mind, spurring discussions of each aspect. I find myself drawn in with full interest, responding and participating spontaneously, forgetting I am a prisoner. I could talk to him forever and never tire of it.

Even as that thought crossed my mind Janus made the slightest sound, leaning forward.

"Are you ill Janus? Is there something I can retrieve for you?" I had reached out, but stopped myself before touching his hand.

The rapport that had developed in our talk seemed to be broken. Had I said something wrong?

***

Janus drew my bath that evening in the old tub, which he left set up for our use. We were not allowed to use the new tub, although they sat side by side. I went to step into the tub and noticed there was no fragrance in the water.

"You did not add the scenting to the water, should I do it?" I looked hopeful.

Janus hesitated, and I realized he had not forgotten, but was remembering yesterday's fiasco was caused by my sniffing the scented water till I became dizzy.

"I won't do that again, I promise. I just like to smell it on me." I pleaded with my eyes, and Janus just nodded.

I did not know how much to add, and was surprised to find that it had an oily texture. I poured some over my hand to feel of it. It made my hands feel like warm ice, slick-like. I enjoyed the feel of it, sliding my hands over each other.

The bottle of scents then slipped out of my grasp, landing in the tub. I started to lean in to grab it, when Alix, (who discovered he loved scents in his bath, and would preen around like a king afterwards), leaped off the low table and landed with a huge splash into the tub, spraying the water that was thick with scenting into my eyes. It burned, and I could not see. I managed to grab Alix, but my hands were slick from the scented oil and he slid out of them and into Janus's new bathtub.

My eyes were burning badly, and I was blinded by the oils, so I called to Janus to heal my eyes. He could smell the strong odor of the scents as he approached and then he saw Alix in his new tub.

Janus spouted a string of curses, some of which I had never even heard in the Bloodworks. I was intrigued and questioned him as to their meaning, but he refused to divulge any more and said I must never repeat them.

"Are they very bad?" I asked, my curiousity peaked.

"Yes, they are. Now forget you ever heard them." Janus was trying to sound firm, but didn't quite pull it off. There was a hint of a smile in his tone.

How I wished I could see his eyes when he sounded like that. I began picturing myself using the words in front of people I knew and trying to imagine their reactions. Oh, I couldn't wait to see S'Krivva again that I may shock her with them.

Janus was healing my eyes as I was picturing S'Krivva with various shocked expressions on her face and he started laughing. He had been reading my thoughts again, he even admitted it when I confronted him.

"Your eyes had a wicked gleam, so I wanted to know what you were up to. I told you not to repeat those words." He tried to sound stern, but his voice held a laugh beneath it.

I put on my best imitation of an innocent face, but my eyes gave me away.

"You won't get by with that face, not with those eyes." he said and laughed.

I was glad he had gotten over being mad. His laugh was such a pleasing sound that I determined to draw it from him when possible. I felt instinctively he had used it rarely in the past.

Alix still smelled strongly of perfume although I rinsed him several times. Each time I used a new towel to dry him, and Janus would have the body guard throw the new towel out.

"Why don't you just purchase Alix his own set of towels, and have them washed separately from yours? Otherwise you may break County Skingrad in towels alone by purchasing them and tossing them immediately; that is if my incarceration is to be a long one." I looked up at him as I said it, hoping he may give some indication of how long my term of confinement was to be, or whether he may decide County Skingrad would be best suited to pardon me for my crimes rather than endure the cost of my incarceration.

It took forever for Janus to wash the scented oil from my hands, but the odor was so strong on them that he must get it off or choke from the smell. It seems Janus has an extremely good sense of smell, and even when I could no longer smell the perfume it still bothered him tremendously. The windows had to be thrown open all night so that he could breathe. I felt guilty, having been the cause of Janus's discomfort. He sat in the chair beside my bed, and it was obvious he still suffered the effects. I reached over and lay my hand atop his and thought, I am so sorry Janus.



Day 3


When I awoke in the morning my hand was still laying atop Janus's hand, and his breathing had improved. I teased him that I would become a healer, using my own guilt and the laying of hands to cure people I had caused to become ill or injured. He laughed, but for some reason that was the last time we got along well the rest of the day.

Alix got his own set of towels today, his own scented soaps, and even his own bottle of scent for the bathwater, since he refused to bathe without them now. Janus did not believe me at first when I told him about Alix.

"What do you mean he refuses to bathe? You pick him up and place him in the water, and you scrub him. How can he refuse to bathe?" Janus's tone sounded like he didn't believe me.

"Don't add the scenting yet and I will show you." I placed Alix into the bath, and he instantly made a terrible racket, it sounded like he may have been cursing.

I lifted Alix up out of the water. "Now add the scents." Janus added several drops of the scents. I put Alix back into the water and he happily took his bath.

"Good Gods! That rodent will be trying to run this castle before long. I refuse to buy scents for vermin!"

Well, if you don't, he is liable to jump into the bath with you one night. I have noticed he wiggles his nose quite a bit when he smells your bath scents. I think he likes them better than the ones you have me use - I only thought it, watching Janus out of the corner of my eye to see if he would hear it.

Janus bought the scents for Alix.

When the supplies for Alix came and I saw the bath scents I gave Janus a wicked grin. He never thought to question how I could see Alix's whiskers when I lay in bed and Alix slept in the bathtub far away; nor how I knew he bathed at night when he thought I was asleep.

Janus spun around and looked at me. He had heard my thoughts. I put an innocent look on my face, but my eyes reflected the mocking challenge within. He was still staring at me.

My bravado began to falter in the face of that cavern of darkness the cowl created as he continued to stare. It gave him an unfair advantage that I could not read his expressions. My resolve began to weaken, yet I could think of no way to back down, the gauntlet had already been thrown.

It was getting harder by the second to keep the innocent look plastered on my face, so I turned and started walking to the other side of the room slowly, playing with my hands behind my back while I tried to school the innocent look back on my face.

My ploy did not work, Janus was by my side in a flash. I had a sharp intake of breath at the speed with which he moved towards me, and suddenly my idea of a confrontation did not seem so wise. I tried not to face him knowing that my eyes would give away the sudden dread I felt at what I had started.

"Well?" Janus moved around in front of me to watch my expressions.

"Well what?" I tried to sound ignorant of his meaning but squeaked on the word what.

"You know exactly what I am talking about. I want to know."

My heart was still beating fast, from how quickly he responded to my baiting. I could not take back what I had done in starting a confrontation with Janus, although I wished now I had not. I thought to show him how it feels not to have one's own privacy, not just in bathing, but in thought as well. Maybe I should not have done it in this way. Still, if I am pushed into a corner I will come out fighting. I set my jaw into a stubborn line and hoped that rebellion rather than fear would reflect in my eyes.

"Sometimes I wake up. That kind of thing does not bother me, I lived in the Bloodworks. If you have not seen something there then it does not exist. I just wanted to see your face, that is all." And I have seen everything but your face, I thought deliberately, knowing he would be eavesdropping on my thoughts.

Janus choked.

I waited, ready to let my temper flare if he bowed up over it. Janus studied the militant gleam in my eye for a minute, but then walked away. He said no more about it, nor did I. But I noticed after that incident that I found myself sleeping much heavier, not waking in the night. The thought occurred to me that he may be putting sleeping tonics into my food or water. I tried not eating and drinking for a couple days, but the heavy sleep continued. I must have been wrong, still it was odd that it came immediately after my confrontation with Janus that day.




Day 7

My seventh day of incarceration was a turning point in the interactions between Janus and me. It was like we came to a truce between us. We always got along well when having a conversation, our discussions were the most exciting part of my day. The rest of the time had been on and off tension.

Something changed after this day though, and we began to enjoy our time together even when we weren't having a discussion. It was as if a barrier broke down within Janus that had held him back from showing himself, or enjoying others.

I don't know what the catalyst was, for the day was dull due to my having an ache in my head, something very rare for me, and probably brought on by two days without food and water.

Janus noticed right away something was wrong when he looked in my eyes. "What is wrong child? Are you ill?"

"It's my head, can you heal me Janus?" I had tears rolling down my face from the pain, but was not crying.

He had me lay back down, and sat on the bed. "Now shut your eyes."

Janus doesn't heal the way they teach at the Arcane, he lay his hand on my forehead and leaned over me, just barely breathing on my face and hair, his face close to mine.

"Keep your eyes shut now." His voice was very quiet, but not a whisper.

I don't know how his magic works, but I began to feel a drowsiness, it seemed I could feel his breath traveling through my mind, taking the pain away with it. I kept thinking 'thank you Janus' to him in my mind, for the pain was going away.

I fell asleep, and when I awoke the pain was gone. Janus still sat on the bed with his hand on my forehead. I reached down and took his other hand, looking up into his cowl and thought 'thank you Janus' again to him.

Janus seemed to relax after that day. We just started to get along much better.

***

Janus sat in the chair by the bed while I slept each night. How he went so long with no sleep I cannot imagine, but I slept better than I ever have.

He loved to talk. He always found subjects that would draw me into conversation with him. As far as confinement went, it was the best one could hope for. I longed for sunlight on my face and the smell of the breezes off the Rumare or Topal Bay. But how awful it would have been in the dungeons, and I was glad for my confinement up here. Janus kept his word and never offered to touch me in any way. I began to feel a trust in him that came on with a subtleness that bypassed thought.

I think while he was awake watching me at night that Janus read my thoughts while I dreamed. A few times, I remembered dreaming of something, and within a few days it would appear, delivered by a servant. It was just little things; like I remember dreaming about seeing flowers in a field, and how beautiful they looked. The flowers that arrived were the same as the ones in my dream. Another time I dreamt of ice cream and it came later that day. Just little things like that. But it was like living in a magic room, where whatever you dreamed became a reality. Except the sunlight and the smell of fresh air. Those dreams were never given. I dreamed about them a lot.





*** Screenshot of the confrontation:


http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/24/l_3b23dc10cae642c9bf46b0f2981cb6c5.jpg

Vienna sausages, cranberry-hibiscus tea, and a new chapter of Maxical.

Life is good.

I will let sage Acadian pick the grammatical nits I saw at the opening...

...and savour the amusemant, refined now, like a well-ripened cheese (why did I say that? I must have mice on the brain) which makes me smile gently, and not gigglesnort.

I have to run to the airport AGAIN, but when I return I will muse some more on your mouse moose moocher muse!

Loving the Maxical - Hassildor interaction. :goodjob:

mALX, this is wonderful! :celebration:

:whisper: The tiny nits D.Foxy refers to in the early parts are several uses of Janus, when you mean the possessive form, Janus'. The other one is the use of it's when you want the possessive form, its. Simple.

This is so very much and delightfully? Maxical in all her awkward, insightful and humorous glory.

Nicely paced with solid descriptions and dialogue. Wonderful gentle development of Janus.

Once again, well done and a joy to read!

Lots of fun once more. I really like the depth you are giving the Count. You show us more and more about him through Maxical's interactions with him, making him really come alive (that may not be the best metaphor, considering that he is a vampire...).

@ Nieres - I love Vienna sausages, did you simmer a pot of them with the graqe jelly sauce? I haven't had that in forever! Thank you so much for continuing to read, I think when she goes to Foxy's in an upcoming chapter the great idea you came up with regarding Alix may come out! (and I will be sure to credit you for it, lol) Thank you so much!

@ Foxy - Thank you very much Foxy! I cut a lot of the giggle-snort stuff out, actually. It was much worse - I had her tipping over the tub of over-scented water on all those new carpets he just bought, flooding the suite - but I needed to start gearing it down so the story could progress, lol. Make sure they de-ice those wings!

@ RemkoNL - Thank you so much! I was surprised that they seemed to have a tremendous amount of chemistry in both my games! (PC and 360) - I got over 50 screenshots with Janus and did not even have to shut down his AI !!

@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian, I seem to have a mental block against the apostrophe, not sure why I suddenly am having a problem with them! I swear it is not just to keep you on your toes! Lol. Thank you again for all your help, it means a lot that you take the time to help me write better. You ROCK !!

@ SubRosa - ROFL !! (making him come alive) - I couldn't help making him into a germaphobe, but the isolation he has lived with for over 25 years - I thought it may take him some time to learn to enjoy Maxical in something other ways than what he missed most, which was the talking/conversations. I doubt he knew what he was getting himself into when he imprisoned her.

@ EVERYONE - I did a re-write, not just to fix the errors, but because what I had posted did not reflect the scene I was trying to get across, especially for Day 3. (If anyone cares to re-read it) On Day 3, what I was trying for was: Maxical took advantage of Janus's germaphobia to challenge him on her lack of privacy. I hope it reflects that better now.




*

Ok, I read your edit of Day 3. I believe it accomplishes your intent nicely. I think it makes her point about privacy - he seems embarrassed for her to see him bathing, yet seems perfectly happy to read her thoughts.

:whisper: I also noted an inconsistancy that probably somehow snuck in. You have been clear throughout, that Janus' face is basically hidden by a cowl. Therefore the first quote below gave me pause, and you may want to consider tweaking it:



My reason for pause seemed confirmed by the following snippets from later in Day 3:

Thank you so much Acadian, when I saw the post and went to edit it, I realized it was not reflecting the scene I was trying to portray at all, and I hope the edits cleared it up! <3


Reading her mind, that bothers her alot, which is why she uses it against him that way, playing on the fact that he is a germaphobe. (like the body guard would wet the carpet, Alix would jump in the tub with him, etc.) He also watched her bathe on day one, and makes her bathe with him and the body guard in there without providing even a sheet across to give her privacy - she was just getting even and making a point.


- Acadian that facial expression was such a great catch !!!! I missed it entirely, it is very hard not to write in expressions for him. He doesn't have a cowl in the game, of course - and I have no idea how to plant one on him and make him activate it. His face is really quite expressive in game, lol.

You're most welcome mALX. You did a fine job with this story! The facial expression really was a minor thing, and you easily fixed it right up. :goodjob:

Now, when are you going to start describing Alix' facial expressions beyond simple whisker wiggling? :lmao:

You could use the Construction Editor to add a cowl to his inventory, he should automatically equip it then. Doing things like that are usually simple, just a matter of finding the NPC and dragging the item and dropping it into their inventory. I did it to give Tadrose Helas Elven armor and Neurssa a black and burgandy gown.

Thank you so much SubRosa, and for the PM showing me how to find it, You ROCK!


@ Acadian - ROFL!! "A disappointed look crossed Alix's face when she denied him the sweet roll," ROFL !! - I forgot to post a screenie on this chapter, but I have a new shot of Alix I need to post. - Thanks again Acadian, for everything!

Chapter 44: Escape From Skingrad Prison


Janus has a powerful magic that is like nothing I have ever seen before. I have had suspicions for a while now that he has been using magic to cause me to sleep at his will, and sleep more heavily than is usual for me. I have tried to fight it, but have not found a way. Lately I have come to believe he also has some way to connect to my dreams at night and actually participate in them.

The first time I noticed Janus in my dreams, the feeling was subliminal, as if he had always been there under the surface but somehow I had not seen him prior. The content of the dream mattered not, if I dreamed a field he was standing in it; a lake he was swimming in it. If I dreamt of myself he was by my side. I suspect it is a form of his magic, some manipulation of my subconscious.

But for what motivation? There my theory fails and I must doubt my own fears, for I can find no motivation that would be behind such a thing. Janus has kept true to his promise and never offered to touch me, his voice displays a genuineness that can't be denied, and he is good to me and Alix. Is it possible that I just dream of him? I don't know anymore, and find my thinking becoming confused.

One night in a dream he reached out and took my hand, just like Agronak used to. It felt natural, standing side by side that way. I thought nothing of it till I woke suddenly, and found Janus was holding my hand.

It startled me, and for a split second I felt a vague warning somewhere in the back of my mind, but could not grasp the significance of it before Janus spoke.

Janus leaned toward me, his voice sounded deeply regretful. "You tossed so. I took your hand for comfort only, to ease your sleep. I know I gave you my word that there would be no touching. I apologize, but felt you may be having a nightmare, and that taking your hand would ease it. You need worry no more."

My mind was greatly relieved; I felt stupid that I had been making a huge deal of nothing. I realized then that I had just been paranoid about his presence in my dreams and the heavy sleeping, and felt ashamed for suspecting him so. The man was nothing but good. The confinement became easier after I let go my fears.

***

Janus and I got along very well, and for being enclosed constantly in his suite I was surprised that I never grew tired of his presence. Our conversations were always the highlight of my day; I would strive to draw Janus into his soft chuckle as I knew it was rare. He made me laugh as well, regaling me with funny stories that I could never remember afterward, but were so funny as he told them. I relaxed again, and began to actually enjoy my incarceration. The dreams with Janus continued, and the hand holding; but I no longer feared Janus was behind the dreams. It must be due to being closed in with him, and it shames me that I mistrusted him so.

Days began to merge into weeks without realizing they had passed, as if time stood still. I remember feeling shock when I moved the curtain to get Alix one day, and as I stood back up I noticed that the season had changed. Had that much time really passed? The sun coming through the window touched my face, bringing a twinge of a memory that disappeared before I could name it. The world outside seemed alien, separated from me by more than the walls of the castle. I felt suddenly that I should know something but could not grasp what it was. I stared out the window, trying to catch the thought before it flitted away.

"Maxical, did you find him?" Janus's voice broke my concentration.

Dropping the curtain back into place seemed to close out more than the light; the thoughts the sun had stirred in me faded as I turned and smiled at Janus.

"Here he is, he was hid behind the curtain."

The rest of the day I had a vague uncomfortable feeling that I was forgetting something, but could not think of what it might be. I glanced over at the dark cowl and wondered for what seemed the millionth time what Janus looked like beneath it; but somehow that evening it felt different, more like a concern than idle wondering.

"What is it my child? You look upset. Are you well?" Janus voice reflected only concern.

I looked up at him, struggling with how to explain my odd feelings that day, when I suddenly noticed he had Alix riding on his shoulder. I broke out laughing and took Janus's hand in mine.

"You have come far Janus, has Alix captured your heart finally?" I smiled up at him, my earlier qualms vanquished by the sight.

"He likes to be kissed when he sits on your shoulder. I wonder, will you kiss him?" I teased, my eyes dancing; but then got serious, bringing my other hand to enfold Janus's hand in my two. "You are a very good man, Janus. You have been very good to me and Alix." I looked up at him that he may see I meant my words.

Janus did not kiss Alix, but he stood there a long time as I held his hand in my two, just looking down into my face. When he spoke his voice was odd, husky. "I've never had two more enjoyable prisoners."

"Or two as expensive against your county coffers I would wager!" I laughed.

Alix began playing with the cowl, and Janus pulled his hand free to lift Alix down and place him on my shoulders.

"Look Janus, this is how you do it." I laughed, and turned my head to Alix making a smacking sound. Alix came over for his kiss.

"I'll forego that pleasure." Janus laughed.

The rest of the night went well, but that night I dreamed Janus kissed me on my lips. It was so vivid that I could feel the heat coming from his lips. I awoke with a jerk, sitting up immediately. Janus was sitting in his chair, no where near me. I reached up and touched my lips, they felt hot to the touch. The feeling of being warned of something flashed somewhere in my mind, but I could not grasp it. I began to feel confused and started crying, and can't even say why.

"Are you having a bad dream child?" Janus's voice was husky, different.

"I don't know? I feel strange, confused? Something doesn't feel right, and I don't know what is wrong."

"Do you want me to comfort you? It's up to you, I will never touch you without your permission."

Why did those words sound different? Was that not what he had always said? No?He has added the words, 'without my permission.' Was I making a big deal of nothing again, like the hand holding? Oh why could I not think anymore?

"No..no. I will be all right. I think I may be feeling ill, that is all." I did feel ill suddenly, and then just as suddenly an overwhelming exhaustion seeped into my mind, dulling it till I felt I must lay down.

When I finally awoke it was late morning. Janus was teaching Alix tricks for a piece of cheese. My eyelids felt heavy, and I did not feel like getting up. I must be ill. I lay in bed and watched Janus play with Alix. How could I have thought anything bad of this man?

I lay back and began to drift back off, but a tap on the door woke me; then someone said, "It is your wife, you better come." It was followed by the sound of the door closing.

I opened my eyes, Janus was gone. I was alone for the first time since I arrived. I forced myself up. My head swam and my legs felt heavy, but I made myself move. I stumbled the whole way to his desk. Casting a spell to open the lock, I removed my chameleon outfit. I stripped out of the dress quickly and threw my outfit on, then grabbed Alix.

Carefully, without a sound I turned the handle and then eased the door toward me a hair. Janus's body guard stood outside, standing with his back to me. By just barely moving the door in tiny increments I managed to make a gap wide enough to slip through standing up.

My head was still spinning and my legs felt too clumsy for silence, so I slowly lowered myself till I was on my hands and knees. He was biting his fingernails, I hoped the distraction would hold his mind long enough for me to get around him.

I was kneeling so close to his legs that I could smell the glycerin off his boots, and feared I may brush against him. My legs wobbled as if they may give out from under me; my head reeled, threatening to topple me against him. I had to steady myself before I could move, then drum up the courage I would need to pass him in such close quarters. I held my breath. Each inch felt like an eternity that he may shift his weight and feel me beside him, or hear a sound. I thought I felt the skirt of his cuirass touch my hair and had to force myself to slowly lower down rather than duck quickly.

Finally I got past his legs. Sticking closely to the wall I crept down the hallway to the stairwell. I stood up then, grabbing the wall as the dizziness left me unsteady for standing. I tried to move too quickly down the steps and ended up slipping, sliding down the remaining steps on my rump. I held my breath and listened, ignoring the pain in my tail. There came no sounds of alarm, so I forced myself up and almost staggered the rest of the way to the door.

I burst out the door to the outside, almost knocking down the guard that stood on the other side of it. I froze in place, pressing myself back against the wall. He looked around, suspiciously, even leaned in to the opened door to look. Finally he shrugged his shoulders and turned around. I eased down the steps to the yard, clutching the railing for support.

When I reached the yard I thought to run to the castle gates, but waves of dizziness brought me to my knees. My legs had begun trembling when I first woke up, but now they were shaking badly. I could not get this far and not make it, I had to keep pushing myself.

On my hands and knees I crawled across the yard to the castle gates; inhaling deeply into my lungs the fresh air filled with the scents of the greenery and graqes that surrounded Skingrad, savoring the preciousness of it.

Just before my hand fell on the castle gate to open it I heard Janus's voice behind me.

***



*** New Screenshot of Alix !!!


http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/58/l_658ede43327f4801bbfd05be246cc570.jpg



*** More of Janus and Me:



http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/24/l_02c942c4869d441da255d1ac3ce53b70.jpg


http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/80/l_85275e448cad4f1a8a5d76c90a5f4019.jpg


*

Oooh! How very exciting! Sometimes all of your light-hearted writing makes me forget how well you can do these intensely dramatic scenes. I really liked not only the tension you created, but also the parallels you drew to Maxical's seduction by Vincente. It is not identical, as the Count is definitely a different person, but one can see the vampiric footprints all over it. Well done! :goodjob:

My Maxical really is a magnet for these guys. She really needs to get laid, as a matter of self-preservation if nothing else!

One thing perhaps few people have noticed is how MaLX1 handles the transition from silly to suspense. It is so smooth and gradual that you almost don't see it happening, and yet at the end of the writing the mood has completely changed.

And THAT is one of the hallmarks of good writing! :clap:

By the way...

Maxical really is a magnet for these guys. She really needs to get laid, as a matter of self-preservation if nothing else!

I was under the impression that the best way to get laid was to crawl up a hen's ....er...cloaca...and wait.

*those with lower vocabulary skills are invited to go to an online dictionary, and also invited not to hurl imprectations at me when the meaning is elucidated*

The unsettling closeness of the vampire comes across fantastically well in your writing. So much of familiar vampire lore is there (ie Bram Stoker) and just like in that story it is not so much what the vampire does but the promise of what he might do that makes us cringe. Beautifully written mALX.


A wonderfully delicious line.
As mALX would say, "you rock!"

Best one yet !

@ SubRosa - ROFL!!! I had to PM you till I quit laughing over your last sentence, then started laughing as soon as I saw it this morning! For your kind words - Thank you so very much, you cannot imagine how much it means to hear those words from you! RE: Maxical's lovelife - It's coming soon. (no spelling error comments Foxy, lol)

@ Foxy - Ditto everything I just wrote to SubRosa, (including laughing at your last sentence) and add this: You ROCK !!!!

@ Winter Wolf - Thank you so very much! You chose one of my favorite lines in that chapter, I got chills the first time I read it, and through all my edits I would not touch it. I am so tickled it caught your attention. Thank you again.

@ EVERYONE - This chapter meant a lot to me; when I write a chapter that touches me as much as this one has, I know I need to thank all of you for it, because if it wasn't for your critiques and help I doubt I could have done it. Any improvements you find in my writing from the beginning of the story, take a bow or pat yourself on the back, because you all are the ones that showed me how to improve. You All ROCK !!!

:read: I would certainly agree with the above comments.

In fact, your writing was quite beautiful here, bringing the reader right along.

Maxical's emotions flowed perfectly from what you described and you detailed them wonderfully.

Nice use of smells. So often we omit mentioning the smells of things like boots or vineyards, but indeed they enrich the experience.

Yes, I noticed the emergence again of our delightfully bumbling Maxical as soon as she began to escape.

Just one tiny nit: 'The rest of the day I had an vague uncomfortable feeling...' I would recommend a change to 'a' instead of 'an', or perhaps 'an uncomfortably vague feeling'

Just magnificent mALX! :goodjob: