OMG!

The Emperor has no clothes, and Maxical is the only one who sees....er...er...um...I better stop here.


Sorry. Couldn't resist that.

Hmmmph! For a mod who is supposedly 99 years old, you are quite a frisky girl, Ms. Leydenne!!

:P

I don't see it lasting too long Treydog, lol. RE: not insulting the dog: add touching the truck, touching the Bud, ....


@ Foxy - ROFL!

I've finally read the whole thing and I have just one thing to say. Absoluteley brilliant, as good as any book I've read, and trust me that's a lot of books. You have also managed to make me look at fathis and Vicente in a whole new light. I look foreward to the next instalment.

In prison? Again? Oh no....

I finally caught up, having now read both threads from start to finish. Bravo!

You weave an extraordinarily complex plot, and give real depth to not only our main character, but also to the many minor characters who revolve around her. Most of all you do it without any holes or inconsistencies. You must spend a great deal of time setting down who is where, doing what, and what time, in order to keep it all straight.

I was most impressed with Chapters 16 and 18, where you portrayed Vicente's seduction of Maxical. That is by far the best writing I have seen you do, because it was emotionally very powerful. One could feel Maxical's helplessness in the vampire's thrall, and her desperation to break free, if only she were able. While I was reading it I forgot that this was a world and characters set in a game. Very impressive.

Runner up to that would have to be Chapter 24, the prison break-out. It was a simply hilarious, comedy of errors, especially the guard's reactions to the mice.

Thank you so much, and I am so glad you are caught up now! I appreciate your kind words so much, especially after having read your works! Thank you.

D. Foxy has graciously agreed to the use of his character Damien 'Foxy' Reynard in a cameo appearance in this chapter. D. Foxy has also co-written the second half of this chapter, writing the part of Sneakers and the dialogue for Augusta Calidia. The book written by D. Foxy's character Damien Reynard titled http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?showtopic=1037618&st=180&start=180which has been mentioned in previous chapters can also be read now, please follow the link, it is well worth the read!


Chapter 33: The Grand Champion Returns


Watching the Emperor ascend the stairs I felt smaller than I had ever felt in my life. Smaller and dirtier. There would not be enough baths in the world to clean up what the Emperor had seen in me.

Through my life I had learned that there was nothing I could ever do that Alix would not discern. But Alix never censured me for anything I did, nor lost an ounce of love for me due to my misdeeds. S'Jirra may even spank me, but her love of me did not falter.

Then today I find out that Fathis and Manheim know all my ill deeds as well. Now I find the Gods spy and tell my Emperor all. I feel like I have been stripped naked and walked the streets thus, for all to see the most private parts of me. I may just as well have shouted all my ills down from the top of a tower!

Odd, how we think no one sees us when we commit acts, thinking no light will ever reveal them; and that we have gotten by with something. I learned today that these acts leave their mark on your heart that all the world can clearly see. Even my Emperor knows the worst of me. It is the most ashamed of myself I have ever felt.


***


The guard at the door escorted me back downstairs. I was relieved, preferring him to Chancellor Ocato. He had seen all my Arena fights and began an animated discourse of the moves I used in the Arena, even hinted at me to show him how I did the spins and parries.

Owyn had drilled us constantly on how to respond to fans. When you fight in the Arena you have a persona you must maintain, regardless of what is affecting you personally. It was almost a relief to be able to 'step behind the mask' of the Divine Avenger for the minute rather than face the shame of my interview with the Emperor, or the upcoming debriefing with Foxy.

He asked if I would sign an autograph for his son; I agreed to, and he led me to a table with parchments, a quill, and inkpot in the bottom of the rotunda. Several more guards joined in when they saw I was signing the autographs, and asked some for their children as well. Some of them did not look old enough to even produce a child yet; I knew the autograph was for themselves.

I gave each a personal smile and kind word, and without any hint of rudeness or hauteur declined showing the tricks used in the Arena.

As I was writing out in careful hand the notes for each, an idea struck on how to avoid the confrontation I knew was ahead with Foxy, and quickly scribbled a note to him on one of the blank parchment that lay on the table.

F,

I have the information you sought which Sneakers was NOT able to get for you. I thought it was something that you would be interested in.

I hope you will forgive any errors I made in the performance of my duties, as these did not stop me from completing the task you sent me to do, and you now have that nasty swine Sneakers back.

Please remember that I did two missions for you, not just the one you sent me on, so if I made some errors with one, hopefully they were made up by completing Sneakers mission for him.

I will return as soon as possible for our debriefing.

Your Humble Servant, M.

***


I hurried straight from the palace to the Tiber Septim Hotel and approached the Innkeeper rather than heading upstairs as I usually did. Augusta Calidia looked up as I approached and gave a smug smile that did not bode well for me.

"Please if you would not mind, could you deliver this message to Damien Reynard for me, there is no hurry, just at your own convenience. I have some Septims and would be willing to pay for the convenience of not climbing the stairs myself." I gave her my most charming smile.

Her smug smile expanded into a sneer. "Mr. 'D' has left specific instructions that he will accept no letters from you. I was told to inform you that if you have any communication you wish to make with him it must be in person."

My heart dropped to my toes. I had been sure I could send a letter and then wait out his anger. He must have known I would try this trick, darn the man!

I stomped away from her desk. I hated to give her the satisfaction of knowing she had played a part in thwarting me, but somehow could not stop myself. I dreaded what was ahead too greatly to concern myself with her enjoyment at my discomfiture. At this moment even thoughts of my meeting with Uriel Septim were driven from my mind, other than to be glad I had cleaned up for my meeting with him, so now looked my best for this ordeal that lay before me. I had even attempted repairs on my armor, although I could well see the difference in my own work and that of a professional smithy.

The thought of running away again flitted across my mind; but my feet continued to trudge relentlessly onward, rather than turn tail as they were bid.

As each step brought me closer, the various ways I botched that mission began to fill my head. I would have liked to think up an excuse for each, but my mind was so bogged down in dread and fear of the upcoming debriefing that it refused to work, not that it did a great job of that anyway.

The releasing of all the prisoners could easily be explained by not knowing which was the agent - well, except for Owyn, since it is obvious I would have known him. I was sure that dratted Sneakers would have already told him I didn't remember the code name. I could blame that on nerves, it being my first time breaking into a prison - and that would be the truth!

The explosion of mice may be hard to explain if Foxy had read the Courier, which I was pretty sure he would. However, was it not Foxy's own teaching that said to use mice as distractions? Surely he could see that if one mouse distracts one man, it requires a vast number more to distract a prison full of men? So technically I was following his own teachings, which caused the chaos there. The man surely knew by now that I had no head for calculations.

As I neared the upper hallway all thoughts were ripped from my mind by the sight of that nasty little Bosmer Sneakers I had been sent to the prison to rescue. He stood in front of Foxy's door, blocking the entrance, his arms folded and with a smirk worse than Augusta's on his face. That impertinent little swine!

"Go in, little Kitty. The boss has been waiting, and he's going have quite a few words for you!" he said with a snaggle-toothed leer splitting his ugly face.

I stood on my tiptoes and attempted to loom over him. "I'm warning you, you'd best stay out here if you know what's good for you!" I said in what I hoped was a menacing sounding voice. "I'll snaggle more things on you than those teeth!" I hissed.

He was not intimidated, in fact his leer widened, showing a brown rot clinging to his mangled teeth.

I bumped him out of the way and gave a discreet knock on the door. He reached across in front of me and opened the door for me, obviously eager to see me get my dressing down, that little worm!

I glared into his eyes as I passed him, holding my hand up in the Arena gesture that lets the opponent know you are going to finish them.

Once inside I turned to shut the door, and that vile cretin had followed me in! I tried to shove him back out so I could lock him out, but he darted in toward me and ducked, running over to the corner of the room, too far for me to drag him without a scene.

I kissed the tips of my fingers toward him, then rubbed them on my butt, finishing off with my hand making a gesture across my throat that intimated his head being cut off next.

He just grinned wider and nodded his head toward the back of the room.

I froze. Oh no, had Foxy been standing watching this? Turning slowly toward the back of the room I saw the shape of Foxy outlined against the curtains by his favorite bookshelf. He had seen all. Oh No!

The look of horror must have shown on my face, because that cocky Sneakers snickered in a "now you will get yours" laugh and moved towards me, gesturing with his thumb for me to go towards his Boss.

If I lived through this, I vowed that Sneakers was going down.

Lots of fun again.

You change gears very well from the somber Maxical at the beginning to the old scamp we all remember from the Arcane U days at the end.

Wonderful mALX!

I especially liked Maxical's rationalizations of her prison break mission performance.

Great fun!

Heheheh, dear readers! If you think you've seen funny, you ain't seen nuffing yet...just wait till the next chapter!


DISCLAIMER: ALL THOSE WHO GO ON TO READ THE NEXT CHAPTER ARE STRONGLY ADVISED

1. NOT TO READ WITH ANY LIQUIDS OR SOLIDS IN MOUTH

2. NOT TO READ IN PUBLIC PLACES

3. OR IN ANY PLACE WHERE THEY MAY BE OVERHEARD GIGGLING, SNORTING, LAUGHING OR INDEED PLAIN HOWLING.

4. Go to the bathroom before reading! (you forgot one, lol)

Dragon Reaper - Thank You so very much! I have learned so much just from reading the authors here, your writing is definately included in that.

Your kind words - and the fact that you took the time to read the old thread - Thank You again! I appreciate your words more than I could possibly express!

Hey mALX, sorry I keep missing your new instalments, exams are coming and I have lots of revision to do. I finally found a free time to read your chapters and make a post.
Anyway I'm glad I missed your chapters because it's great reading more than one of your amazing chapters! It's also great that your enjoying the story as much as we all are, not as much as me however, this is the best fan fiction out here!
Anyway I'll pop in and out of this thread and catch up with what's happening, have fun!

Wonderful, as always. Loved the "verbal abuse' between Maxi and Sneakers. lol

One small thing:

I believe you meant affecting

Thank you so much Iain Mc, you are Awesome! I knew you were pretty busy with college, good luck with your exams!






Thank you RemkoNL !! I completely missed that, and you are right! - I also enjoyed the instant dislike that has arisen between the two, he seems to get under Maxical's skin like no one she has met before, lol.


@ SubRosa - Thank you so much! That was hard to do in this one, the two surrounding chapters were so huge that I had to cut them back and integrate them into this "in between" chapter. Because the tone of the two chapters was so different it was hard to incorporate the changes needed in one chapter.


@ Acadian - Thank you so much for all your support of both me and Maxical

The mark of a good writer is the ability to create multiple moods- even within a short space. You do that in a seamless, concise fashion here. One passage that especially caught my eye:



This introspection is necessary for Maxical to grow- but, as we see by the time she returns to the Tiber Septim, she will not be growing too quickly.... As ever, a pleasure to read.

Thank you so much Treydog! It took a ton of edits before I felt comfortable with the change, and still left a big gap so the readers would know some change was coming up, lol.

D. Foxy has graciously agreed to co-write this chapter, employing his character Damien "Foxy" Reynard to assist Maxical. D.Foxy has written all the parts for Damien 'Foxy' Reynard and also for his agent Sneakers. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we have writing it.

The book written by D. Foxy's character Damien Reynard titled http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?showtopic=1037618&st=180&start=180which has been mentioned in previous chapters can also be read now, please follow the link, it is well worth the read!




Chapter 34: The Debriefing


Hanging my head, I pushed my foot behind me and gently kicked the door shut, bringing my foot back in an arc that I hoped would hit that ugly little Bosmer Sneakers, but he leapt out of the way in time.

With my chin pinned to my chest in shame, I worked my way to the back of the room and stood in front of Foxy, ready to be fired, killed, or whatever legendary assassins do to one of their agents that has botched a mission.

When Foxy didn't say anything I tried to raise my eyes up while still keeping my head down. Oh NO! He held the Black Horse Courier in his hand! I could see the headline, "Prison Infested! Prisoners Escape!"

I felt a tremble begin in my legs, and realized I should have used the bathroom before coming. I had not thought of it after that long interview with the Emperor, but it hit me suddenly that I had to go very badly. I was sure to wet myself if Foxy began to yell or hit me in rage over the fiasco I made of his mission. The second that thought reached my mind the need to go became overwhelming, it was all I could think of. I prayed for my bladder to hold out till this ordeal was over. Foxy still had not made a sound, other than the rustling of the newspaper.

I peeped up a little further and found he was holding another copy of the Black Horse Courier in his other hand, reading it. This one the latest edition. I had glimpsed it earlier, a guard had given me a copy to autograph, something about wounded guards getting honored. I had not paid much attention at the time, my mind being elsewhere.

I lowered my head back down quickly and made a point of noticing the black velvet of his pants and the way it draqed over his soft black slippers. That led to wondering how soft those slippers would feel when trouncing on me. I could take the suspense no more, the torture to know a punishment is imminent is a prolonged agony, I may as well face my death or whatever he meant to do to me. I forced myself to raise my head and look at him. He slowly lowered the newspaper so I could look into his face - well, half mask.

His lips were compressed into a stern line. He must be very angry, not a hint of a smile lit his eyes as was usual.

"Well, well, little Khajiit, it appears that our deeds have become quite famous..." Foxy cocked an eyebrow over his mask, waiting for me to speak.

I hung my head. All the words I had tried to plan on the way up here flew out of my head on confronting him.

Upon receiving no reply from me Foxy continued. "Or should I say ... notorious? For it seems that - according to this latest copy of the Courier - a parade and awards ceremony was held in honor of the guards that were injured fighting off an army of mice which attacked the Imperial Prison. Should I perhaps connect this fact to the mysterious disappearance of every single one of my laboratory mice?"

"Foxy, I, I am very afraid there were some?er? complications to the mission. I realize you must be very angry with me, as you expect, nae deserve? perfection from those you send out. I am truly sorry for anything I have done that was not?not what you intended me to do. I am quite obedient, really I am! It was my nerves, Foxy. I was much afraid of this mission. If you would see it in your heart to give me another chance I give you my word I will not make you sorry?again?." My speech clumsily halted as Foxy raised one hand slightly. I knew that gesture from Alix, it meant to hush.

I looked into his eyes, trying to plead forgiveness from him before he struck me down, or whatever he would do. His eyes glittered like the snake before it eats its prey. There was no softening from them, even after the plea in my eyes was met.

"What do the words of the creed mean to you? 'The Assassin Lives In Shadow, And Dies In Sunlight.' What did you think of when you studied that creed nightly during your training?"

"Uh?that I should work in the night hours only?" I took a stab at the answer, because at this moment I couldn't remember anything what with the visions of my own death swirling in my mind. I heard a snort come from behind me, and decided that if Foxy did kill me I would come back and haunt that ugly runt Sneakers.

"That is not what it means, you know this. Now again. What do the words of the creed mean?"

"Uh, Foxy, I am too distraught to think. I believe I may wet myself at any second from this tension. I know what you taught me, but cannot recall it at this time because?well because I have upset you, and I would never have intentionally done anything to make you upset with me. You have been more than good to me, and I have the highest respect for you. I wanted so badly to do a good job, but things kept happening." I began to do a slight dance, trying to fight the urge to wet myself.

Foxy ignored my dancing and continued. "And it also seems that more than one prisoner escaped from the prison. If this paper is to be believed, the prison was emptied completely!"

"Well, as to that, uh?well one was left behind, uh?" I couldn't remember the excuse I had come up with on the way up to his suite, but it didn't matter, for Foxy interrupted once again, pointing to a place in one of the Black Horse Couriers he held.

"....Ah, yes! Yes...it seems that a certain Valen Dreth....is under the impression that a cat has something to do with the mice infestation...hence the 'kitty, kitty' that he keeps referring to as they treated his face for rodent bites. It's lucky for us that the Black Horse Courier has interpreted that as his deranged calling for a cat to catch the mice, eh? Otherwise someone might even think that a young Khajiit had something to do with the infestation of mice in the Prison."

I blanched, if that makes a difference in an albino. I knew what was coming next, and squirmed, not just from the need to use the bathroom.

"Of course, the possibility that he might have actually seen you is absurd. I gave you an outfit with a hundred per cent chameleon, and you surely would not be so foolish as to take off that outfit where you might be seen by someone - would you." Foxy said - it was a statement, not a question. He knew the answer already.

A distinct snigger sounded from behind me. Sneakers! That snitch! Oh, if I lived through this he would rue the day he met me! I swung around and cast my Eye of Khajiit on him. It felt good to see him run from the room!

The sound of empty mouse cages crashing came from Foxy's laboratory as Sneakers barreled through it. I knew it wouldn't last, but it was worth it for the minute.

Turning back around I slowly brought my eyes up to meet Foxy's piercing ones. "Uh, well, see - it was Owyn, Foxy. He was falsely accused of killing me, I could not let him sit in prison for my murder when I was not dead?yet. I was sure you would agree with me on that. But then... well... see, he thought I was a ghost and started attacking me, I had to strip down to nothing to keep him from beating me to death while I rescued him? Foxy? Sir."

Foxy picked up the paper again. "Ah, but wait, I read that one prisoner was captured - his name was not Owyn." Foxy scanned the page down till he found the part he was seeking. "Yes, a certain Claudius Arcadia. And he said the 'Night Mother' herself came to his cell and let loose a plague of mice into the prison. I was not aware that you had risen to such a high position in the Dark Brotherhood, in fact as I recall we met on your first contract with them. But I suppose Arcadia has more discernment than I do."

"Oh, well, as to that, uh, well, Claudius Arcadia was in prison for praying to the Night Mother for revenge on the man that attempted to [censored] his daughter, then murdered her. I felt it important to let him know that his prayers had been heard and that Rufio lay dead with the last words in his ears being the name Claudius Arcadia. Surely you can understand how important it was that I carry this message to him. See, he may rot in prison, the man is not the brightest...well, that is to say neither am I... but Foxy - he must know if he rots in prison that at least he still got his revenge on that evil Rufio. I was sure you would agree with me that I must get this message to him, since I was right there."

I looked deep in his eyes, yet still no relenting smile lurked there as what I had become used to from Foxy. A tear slid down my face, followed my several more.

"Please forgive me Foxy. I know I failed you, and I give you my most heartfelt apologies. You must know I regard you highly and would never intentionally bring harm to you or your mission. I understand your ire, and deserve that you should punish me, only please forgive me. Please. They could bury me under that prison and I would never give your name up to them, this I vow to you." I could stand it no more and broke down crying, falling to my knees before him.

I felt something glance off my head, then it happened again and through my tears I saw something rolling away from me. I reached out and caught it, raising it to my face and wiping my eyes so I could see it. It was a pebble like the one that?.like the one that hit me in the prison? I looked up at Foxy, a slow realization beginning to dawn on me.

"If Foxy was here he would rap me in the head" Foxy mimicked my words in the prison that day, even doing an exact imitation of my whisper and intonations. "Perhaps like, shall we say, this?" He glanced another pebble off my head.

"You?you were there with me all the time? You saw all? Foxy why did you not tell me? You could have stopped me? Oh Foxy, does this mean I am forgiven? Please?"

The tears were still pouring, but I was pleading for that forgiveness with my eyes. I did not struggle to raise myself to a stand, but waited for his response. It was too important. I did not want to miss his words in any attempt to rise.

Continuing the imitation of my voice he spoke. "Here, each of you take a mouse...if a guard starts to hear you, feed it to him! A bribe, you know..." He mischievously and maliciously misquoted my words.

Embarrassment flooded my face with redness. "Those were not my words." I said in a hurt tone.

Once again Foxy imitated my voice and mannerisms, all while deliberately misquoting me dreadfully. "Oh, please, Owyn, you give me the headache! I swear you are as bad as Foxy when he asked me to add two and two together! Why that man refuses to take 'five' as a valid answer to that question is something I cannot understand - he is just as bad as you!"

"Foxy that is not what I said! You misquote me!" I stood up then. He was mocking me, and that red hair temper of mine was beginning to heat up. "Oh, you have no right to be angry with me if you were there all along and did not put a stop to all my errors, you must have seen things were not going as planned, why did you not step in and take over? Why do you find this so amusing? I have dreaded your ire just to find you mock me instead! Hmph!" I stamped my foot.

My arm swung up, one finger raised in a point aimed at the ceiling as I had seen done in chapel sermons.

"And may I point out that while my mission may have been botched, it was still completed successfully, there stands your spy I was sent to retrieve - who did NOT complete his mission at all. I have completed Sneakers mission for him, and have the information you sought on the Emperor, having just left the palace where I had a personal interview with him! So not only did I complete MY mission, but I also completed Sneakers mission as well." I punctuated my words by turning around and sticking my tongue out at Sneakers, whose leer was frozen on his face.

I turned back to Foxy with my mouth open, ready to fill him in on what I had learned, but before I could Foxy made the slightest motion with his hand. That was Foxy's signal for me to silence. I obeyed.

For a long, long dreadful moment there was utter silence in the room. Then for the first time since we met, I saw Foxy really laugh. He threw his head back and simply roared! Peals of laughter erupted from the man.

Foxy laughed so much that he had to sit down. Reaching in a pocket, he pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at his streaming eyes through the eyeholes of his mask, but then promptly burst out laughing once again.

I stood steaming, not knowing if his laughter meant I was forgiven or not. My anger was rising and I wished that little runt Sneakers would leave with me when I left, so I could flatten him to relieve what was building inside me.

Slowly, his laughter subsided into a series of chuckles. Getting up, still chuckling, Foxy unlocked his desk and withdrew a pouch of Septims and a scrap of paper.

With what appeared to be a careless gesture he dropped the sack of Septims into my hands while allowing me to glance at the scrap of paper. It had only one word, "Alone." That meant Foxy did not want me to speak till it was just we alone. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at Sneakers again.

Foxy had the note prepared already, that meant he already knew I had been to the Emperor. Foxy is just like Alix, he knows all your moves before you have even made them.

The pouch of Septims weighed heavily in my hands, it must contain a fortune! I looked up at Foxy, questioning. My mouth must have been cocked, because he slid something in my mouth. I bit down on it when my mouth shut, it was a cookie.

"My little bumbler, I knew from the beginning that you had not been paying any attention at all to my briefing before the Mission! That was why I went along behind you, in another chameleon outfit...just to save my Khajiit from stumbling over her own feet. By the way, you frightened that poor citizen nearly to death with your voice appearing from nowhere! I strongly advise you not to talk to yourself while you are in one hundred percent chameleon mode - unless, of course, you have a mission from me to make it appear as if a place is haunted. Then you can be as Maxi pvssyrbox as you normally are..."

"And yes, I was tempted several times during your mission to step in and take over, but it is a rule of assassin training for the apprentice to learn as much as she can from her own mistakes. By that standard I am sure you have learned a tremendous amount! And I will admit that part of the reason I did not step in was simply to see what you would do next...you never fail to surprise me. Just when I think 'surely she can't top this' you do something that is twice as bad - or should I say good?"

"Oh, and just so that you know, little Khajiit: half the mice in the prison were released by me! I saw it was shift change, and what with you overusing mice, handing them out left and right, and dropping them everywhere - I wanted to be sure you had not exhausted your supply of mice near the end, so I augmented them from my own pockets! Now you know why a lot of the cages were empty when you popped into my lab, eh?"

"That is your pay, little Comedian - my pardon, I mean assassin. And I have added ten Septims to the fee, for your antics have saved me a trip to the theater of comedy. And for now, we must part - but I have a strong feeling that you will need to find me again. When you do, try not to bring the entire Watch with you to the hotel!"

Foxy forgave me! He must to pay me this much and talk of me coming back! I gave him a quick hug and kissed his jaw while palming the note I had written him into his hand. It disappeared instantly, and Foxy whispered in my ear, "next week." I gave the slightest nod.

"I'll do better Foxy, I promise. You will not regret giving me this chance!"

I turned to leave and saw Sneakers standing in the doorway with a surprised look marring his already ugly face. I guess he thought I would be fired or killed! He gave an uneasy laugh.

As I was drawing near to him I whispered loud enough for Foxy to hear, "I warned you, you slimy little runt!"

My arm shot out fast as lightning in an Arena move Agronak taught me that is meant to be used as a block. The ugly little Bosmer went up in the air in an arc, his eye was already swelling hugely by the time he landed. Grabbing him up by his shirt I planted my foot in his groin and kicked him out of my way by coiling my muscles to spring the leg into a full extension, that is another Arena move. Sneakers should be happy I had my boots on, else my claws would have un-sheathed on that kick. That would have ensured he never reproduced that ugly face.

Sneakers flew across the room, landing on a flat couch that rolled from the impact of his body hitting it. He was pinned under it, and as he began to 'come to' his stupid little feet began kicking and his muffled voice could be heard from under the couch cushions calling for help.

I brushed my hands against each other, as if wiping the dust from them. That is the Arena sign for I am done with you, I hope the nasty swine knew he was lucky to get that signal.

I glanced up to see Foxy was watching the whole thing with his arms folded. He unfolded his arms, slowly and soundlessly clapped, then threw me a half-mocking, half-admiring salute.

For a split second I wondered if Foxy had deliberately had Sneakers here, knowing the twerp would needle me into a fight. No doubt the ugly troll will respect me more when next we meet, perhaps Foxy intended that.

I turned and hurried out through the (now clear) doorway, calling "Thank you!" and pulling the door shut quickly behind me. The sound of Foxy's laughter could still be heard from within.

That kick on the Bosmer had caused me to start wetting myself. I was not going to have Foxy know that!

I had to find a bathroom quickly. No one was about to see, so I held onto myself, dancing from room to room trying the doors. All were locked, even the room I had stayed in while training with Foxy.

I tried to make a run to the public room downstairs, but at the top of the steps knew I would not make it. I was already leaving a trail of little puddles behind me. I started to turn back to Foxy's but could no longer hold it in. A puddle began spreading across the patterned carpet. I finally gave up and quit trying to hold it back.

What a relief! And I hoped that slimy Sneakers would slip in it and slide down the steps the next time he walked there!

I thought I heard a thundering noise behind me as I went down the stairs and swung around quickly, leaping to the side at the bottom of the steps so I would have room to fight if it was Sneakers, but there was nothing there. I must have imagined it.

As I walked across the lobby Augustus sneered in my direction. I gave her a big smile, knowing she would be on her knees scrubbing my puddle up out of her carpets within a few hours.

:rofl: :rofl:
Oh my Oh my Oh my..... had to put my hand before my mouth to prevent bursting out in laughter..... at work.... in an office......

good thing I had nothing in my mouth when I read this. great as always.

I warned you all! READ THE DISCLAIMER before you read the chapter!!!

:rofl:

I wrote a small part of the above post, myself, and I am STILL giggling on re-reading it for the 1001st time...

:rofl:

:read: Action, humor, suspense, humor, pulling many pieces together, humor, a joy to read.... Oh, did I mention humor? :lmao:

Brilliantly conceived and masterfully written by both mALX and D.Foxy! :trophy:

Yes indeed, those pesky puddles on the floor....

WELL DONE!

I am put in mind of a paraphrase of a famous Lord of the Rings quote:

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are quick to anger and will poop on your pillow."

From direct experience, that is quite correct.

The subtext here, which I am having a hard time illuminating due to tears of laughter, is quite interesting. Maxical is not so much searching for a father-figure as she is trying to decide which father-figure she should revere.... Alix, Fathis, Vicente, Foxy, and now the Emperor himself. Each one is powerful and meaningful in his own way- yet their ways are quite different, as are their values. Maxical's task is to figure out what to keep and what to leave behind from each of those value systems, as she develops her own code of conduct.

Oh, and did I mention how hard it was to stifle my laughter- AT WORK- AGAIN?

You have done it again!
Guess I'm not the only one that ignores the 'not to read in public places' rule

Does anyone have any idea why female protagonists on these forums have such feeble bladder control? :confused:

Maxical is easily one of the most engaging characters I've ever met in a book, and I'm a voracious reader.