The Very Old Lengthy Superlative?

The very odorous lengthy -

I better stop here.

:D

ROFL! Well, I don't want my thread closed, so all the jokes that sprang into my mind at this comment will have to just stay in there. Here it is: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/clubhouse?teamId=2633


I just got a PM from Nieres - who is also from TN - here is what it said:


TN: Where "The men are men and the women are highly amused." - thanks Nieres for sending that to me - I loved it!



*** I just want to thank everyone for all this help - writing a male character has been a huge challenge for me. Maxical I can do easily enough. Somehow my men just don't come across as manly enough. I may have to think up a few men I actually know and mold a character around them.

Please, if anyone sees something they feel is off, please tell me so I can fix it. (as long as it is on this thread, can't fix anything on the old thread anymore). Thank You All !!!!


@ Foxy, I am watching your emoticons from now on! Lol.

D. Foxy has graciously agreed to the use of his character Damien "Foxy" Reynard in this episode.


Chapter 29: Gathering Information


Alix and Fathis parted once they got to the Imperial City. Fathis said he would handle the Western half of the city.

Alix pulled the copy of the Black Horse Courier out and re-read it. The paragraph about Claudius Arcadia caught his eye.

"Claudius Arcadia, one of the escaped prisoners, was picked up later at his home by the watch and returned to the prison. He claimed the Night Mother herself brought the infestation of rodents on the prison as punishment for his incarceration."

Alix wanted to find out more about this 'Night Mother' Claudius Arcadia had seen during the escape. Slipping past the guard, Alix picked the lock to the dungeons and then into Claudius' cell.

From the details Claudius gave of the events of that day, and his description of the 'Night Mother,' Alix had the confirmation he needed that it was Maxical.

Claudius detailed not just her mannerisms and speech, but also her temperament. It seemed she had been testy, snapping at Claudius and stomping her feet when Claudius was slow to act.

That was definitely Maxical, but why would she be breaking prisoners out of jail?

Claudius also said she had insisted he carry a mouse. Why in the world would Maxical have done that?

Making the rounds with the beggars in town, Alix was able to confirm the information the Black Horse Courier had given about Owyn and the guard, and also about the spy that had been in the prison for interrogation and was supposed to have escaped with the others.

Alix understood why Maxical would break Owyn and the guard out. It would be just like her to do it, knowing they were in there on her account.

Given Maxical's connection with Rufio, it was also easy to understand why she would have helped Claudius Arcadia escape.

But a spy? What would Maxical have to do with a spy?

From a memory of long ago in his wilder days came another thought; spies use mice as a distraction.

Claudius said that she had brought hundreds of mice with her and insisted he carry one.

What has Maxical gotten herself into now, Alix wondered.

Maxical had to have gotten those mice from somewhere, where does one come up with hundreds of mice?

A vision popped into Alix's mind, a memory from years ago. He had seen that many mice in one place before, in a laboratory. Cages and cages of mice lining the tables of a room. The man that owned that laboratory had long since died though.

Instinctively Alix suddenly knew without a doubt that this prison break was somehow connected to that note he had gotten about Vicente. The note had been signed with just a 'D.'

When Alix had first gotten that note, his immediate thought had been that the 'D' stood for Damien Reynard, but Damien was dead. Too many had witnessed his death, so the author of that note could not be him.

Alix had not thought of Damien in years, not since the initial pang had worn off when he heard of the man's death. Damien had been his mentor. The man that had taught him everything he knew about blades, following a trail, well, just about everything.

Damien had found Alix when he was just a young Pit Dog in the Arena and taken him under his wing. There were none better than the "Black Fox," as Damien was known by his enemies. The young lads who looked up to him as their leader just called him Foxy.

Yet somehow that note about Vicente had stirred the old memories of the man. Just as this prison break was doing now.

Breaking a spy out of the Imperial Prison was no small task, this was big league. Alix recognized the mission planning. Whoever planned this had to have been trained by Damien. And Maxical must be working for that person.

Well, whoever sent that note, at least they had Maxical's best interests at heart. After a thorough search of the Eastern sectors Alix headed home.

When Alix reached the Inn S'Jirra immediately broke the news to him that Maxical had gone to the Imperial City to find him and Fathis.

Alix was surprised they had not crossed paths given the time she left; but on further reflection he wondered if Maxical had cut across the Rumare to the Waterfront.

That was exactly something Maxical would do, Alix thought. Between Maxical's impatience and the inherent laziness of a Khajiit she would have found a way to shortcut the trip. Given her abilities with magic she could probably swim or walk across the top of the water.

How he wished he had met her on the way home, though. What a joy that would have brought him, to see her again.

"Well, I got this training with Manheim tomorrow, S'Jirra; and Fathis should still be there looking for her. I'll spend the night and head back over to the city as soon as I am done with Manheim in the morning."

:read: Yes. You have pulled many potentially confusing aspects together here. By using the right amount of references to refresh previous events, you have done so clearly.

The writing is crisp and there is much going on. I think the shorter chapter length is excellent.

Nicely done once again mALX!

Thanks Acadian! I was worried, lol.

Hey mALX, my internet hasn't been working so good lately so I wasn't able to read your latest chapters.
The story is really exciting, every single chapter is fantastically written. I'm also enjoying the co-writing with Foxy too, good work Foxy!

Thanks so much 'Iain Mc! I'm sorry to hear about your PC trouble, hope it isn't anything that can't be fixed. - Mine has been a bit rough lately too. I will be posting another chapter later today

Chapter 30: Manheim Gets A Push


Manheim was having trouble sleeping after the way Maxical left. She was upset with him, he could tell. Her eyes had flashed anger. Maybe he shouldn't even go over there for his blade lesson, give her time to cool off?no. He would go, even if it meant finding her still mad. Just to see her again.

He hadn't meant to kiss her, it had just happened. He had never kissed anyone before, and didn't really know what to expect. The way it felt?Manheim had never felt a sensation like that in his life.

Well, now she was mad at him for that kiss. Right now the only thing Manheim had going in his favor was that she had to come back for her escaped prisoners. He hoped she would have forgiven him by then.

Manheim brought the men a good hot meal and as much of the stout as they wanted, hoping to garner favor with Maxical in his good treatment of her friends.

Manheim had even carried down a plain glass jar filled with the clear yellow Nordic Whiskey after they had finished their evening meal.

Owyn took his first swig and coughed out, "What the hell!" It didn't stop him from drinking more, after each sip he would slam his fist down on the table and choke out a curse. He finished his mug that way, then held it up for a refill.

The guard, not being aware of the particular nature of 'Rotgut' had taken a big swig, choking on it till Manheim feared he would need a healer. Manheim had given him a sound clap on the back that had sent him reeling.

"Cold, my stomach! It's freezing my stomach!" The guard had gasped through fits of coughing and choking once he could breathe again.

He left the rest of his mug untouched, but had imbibed so much on that first swig that he spent the next hour reeling around attempting to sing a tune (that could not be recognized), before finally falling out on the floor. It had taken the combined efforts of Manheim and Owyn together to drag him to his bed and throw him in it.

Afterwards Manheim and Owyn had finished off the jar, talking about different fighters and fights, mostly Maxical and the Gray Prince. By the end of that talk Owyn was more suitably disposed toward Maxical again, his irritation with her completely gone.

"Yeah, she was the best fighter I ever had in my Bloodworks. Boy could she draw in the crowds. It'll be tough to find another to replace her. Say, you put on a good spread here, Manheim. That's the best supper I've had in a long time, better than the 'Feed Bag' puts out. When I get back to my life again, I may think about making a trip back here every now and again, for a meal and some more of that 'Rotgut.' Look at that guard, he can't hold his whiskey, eh?" Owyn followed up with his loud barking laugh, "Ha, Ha, Ha!"

Manheim hoped that Owyn's renewed good feelings toward Maxical would last through the hangover he may be experiencing tomorrow.


***


Manheim arrived early for his lesson, looking like he hadn't slept a wink the night before. Alix was still eating his breakfast and invited him in for a bite before they started.

Abhuki laid a plate down gently in front of Manheim. She liked the lad, and could tell he wasn't himself today. "What's wrong with you boy, cat got your tongue? What? What did I say?"

S'Jirra's crack of laughter at Abhuki's inadvertent humor wasn't helping things. Alix waved his hand to get the women to leave the men alone to their breakfast. Abhuki went back to her counter.

S'Jirra eyed Manheim's countenance and rolled her eyes. Not another one, she thought. Alix repeated his wave, like he was brushing her away from the table. She left, grumbling about men.

Manheim sat at the table with Alix, but just picked at the breakfast in front of him. His face reflected an obvious inner turmoil. Alix saw this, and decided it would be best not to give him a lesson in blade with all that going on in his head - too much chance of someone getting hurt.

Well, if Manheim might be his son one day, Alix guessed he better find out what was going on, although he would stake Septims it had to do with Maxical.

Tipping back in his chair while he sipped his coffee, Alix watched the varied expressions clouding over Manheim's face. The lad did not look happy at all. He and Maxical obviously had a fight, it was written all over the boy's face.

Manheim looked up and caught Alix watching him. He quickly looked back down and fidgeted with his food some more.

"Why don't you tell me about it Manheim. I can't teach you anything when your mind is torn. You need a clear head to learn blade. Now spill it, what has you so upset?"

"I can't, it's nothing really, uh, what do you mean?" Manheim tried to cover up.

"Well, I know it has to do with Maxical, so what has changed? Have you two had a falling out?"

Manheim just nodded, then buried his chin to his chest in a sulk.

"It's not like Maxical to fight with anyone, why don't you tell me what happened."

Manheim's face turned a bright red. How could he tell Alix he had kissed his daughter? Would the man run him from his house at the end of his blade?

Alix caught the look; Manheim's face hid none of his thoughts.

"So you kissed her, and she got mad at you for it? Don't fear the truth with me, I know you brought her no harm."

Manheim was surprised. "How do you know that? I mean?"

"Because you still walk." Alix said, taking Manheim's shoulder in a firm grip and giving it a shake. "So you think because she is still in love with Fathis that you have ruined your chances with her? Is that it?"

Manheim just nodded again, the misery clear on his face.

Alix sighed. Well, he guessed it fell to his lot to put a bug in Manheim's ear about women. It was obvious the boy had no experience, probably even less than Alix had given him credit for originally. Could it be he was still a virgin? A big strapping lad like that? Alix just shook his head.

"Get your coffee Manheim, let's go sit outside for a bit. Manheim followed him out, dragging his feet in a loud scuffle. He would never make it in a stealth field, Alix thought with a quirk in his lip.

"Come on, sit right here on this bench. I'm going to tell you something I have never shared with anyone." Alix was a very private man. It was rare for him to ever share anything of a personal nature with an outsider.

"When I met S'Jirra I was just a Contender at the Arena. She had a man she was in love with, I won't name him - but he was wealthy, educated, and well dressed - like Fathis."

Manheim sat up, his attention fully alert now.

"I had nothing to offer S'Jirra, I was a kid living in the Bloodworks. But I loved her. I knew she had feelings of long standing for this other man, from even before I met her. Well, like you, I didn't wait till it was ended with the other. I kissed her. She got mad at me too, real mad. But she did still want my friendship. So I accepted that. I was there for her every time this other man wasn't. And every time I kissed her after that, she was a little less mad at me."

"You kissed her again, even after she got mad at you?" Manheim was stunned.

"Every time I saw an opportunity to." Alix said firmly.

"But didn't you say she still got mad at you for it? Weren't you afraid you would lose her for good?" Manheim questioned.

"At first, yes she did, quite a bit mad in fact. She would spit and fume. But it gave her something to think about other than him. See, he was never around when she needed someone to be there for her. I was."

Manheim mulled this over for a minute. "Well, what happened?"

Alix jaw almost dropped. The boy's heart must have pushed his brain out to make room! "Well what do you think happened? You can see we are still a couple, been together for over 16 years now!"

Manheim was visibly cheered by the information. "Thank you Alix, you have given me some things to think about. Uh, can we do this lesson some other time?"

Alix smiled. "Go on then, let me know when you are ready."

Alix watched Manheim striding purposefully through the woods toward his Inn.

"Alix, what nonsense was that I just heard you feeding that boy?" S'Jirra demanded, her arms akimbo.

Alix jumped, he had not heard her approach. Not sure how much she had heard, he cast a feeler out. "Just told him how long we have been together, the boy may be family one day, S'Jirra, he may as well know about us."

"You know very well that is not what I am talking about! The only truthful thing you told him was that you were a Contender! You were the one that had the long time ritzy girlfriend, I was the one that kept chasing you - and kissing you every chance I got!"

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Alix asked, his eyes dancing.

"Alix, have you even given thought of what may come about if those two get together? Manheim is dumb as a brick, and Maxical couldn't rub two sticks together for common sense. And what if they have children? We will have to put helmets on their head to keep them from injuring themselves in the cradle! Why did you just sic that boy on Maxical that way? Let her stay mad at him and find someone with more sense!"

"Would you rather she take Fathis to wed? That is if he would stay with her long enough to produce. From what I have heard of Fathis exploits of the past he may fill the house with get like a rabbit fills its hutch. Of course, he does speak Khajiit if and when he speaks to her. Should I go give him equal advice? Mayhap he could leave the Castle and get a job inspecting properties, I hear he has the experience."

"I thought you said you withdrew your objections to Fathis."

"Aye, that I have, but still I have my preferences. Do you not?"

"Yes, neither of those two. Someone else she has not yet met! What of one of those fine boys at the University?"

"Which then, the ones she burned with her spells, or those she stuck with her arrows? Or maybe one she caused to wet the bed by dipping their hands while they slept?"

"Oh, there is no getting a straight answer from you!" S'Jirra huffed, stomping back into the Inn.

Alix chuckled and followed her in, teasing her to remind him how it went again.

Abhuki looked over from her perch behind the counter. "Aw no, not you two again! I can't run a clean Inn with you two smooching in my front room all the time, now scat! What? What are you laughing at?"

mALX! :read: Once again, you have successfully woven many complex pieces together.

The interaction between the characters is wonderful. All the more so considering the characters involved here do not directly include your main character. Each of your 'support' characters has a personality developed with amazing thoroughness! I don't know how you can keep track of it all!

You and I both are still learning, but the mechanics of your writing look great to me!

Thanks for providing us another of your wonderful stories. :goodjob:

Thank you so much Acadian! I appreciate your continued support!

Manheim was surprised."How do you know that? I mean...."
"Because you still walk." Alix said.
Lol. :foodndrink: We can all relate to women like that. Cyrodiil is no too different from this world after all. :toughninja:

Great dialogue lesson given by Alix regarding S'Jirra. Very cool.

Hmmm. If Maxical marries anyone, then I suppose a new son rises in the family of Alix and S'jirra???

Nicely done! Can't say it better than Acadian has so I won't even go there. Next please!

I liked that line myself, lol. - Thank you so much Winter Wolf, and also for the help to macho up my male characters - Awesome advice!


@ D.Foxy - That whistling emoticon again I see, lol. Did you get to read Chapter 29 where everyone finds out Alix used to work for Foxy? Also EVERYONE: Foxy's Debriefing is coming up in a couple chapters, and it is Awesome!


@ RemkoNL - Thank you so much! I have bragged so much about your story that Acadian went over and read it today. I appreciate so much you taking the time to read mine!

Have been having to actually do work at work recently, and my reading has suffered. But I just have to say how much I enjoyed the "fatherly" advice Alix gave Manheim. You have the gift of making each of your characters unique- and most of them are appealing, as well. Excellent.

I must say, while I am usually against First Person POVs, I actually find myself enjoying this. Actually, I think I should say I am loving it. GREAT JOB, is what I say!

@ Treydog - Thank you very much! And thank you for your helpful tips on the writing of the male characters!

@ Sipher1988 - Thank you so much. You can not imagine how much that means - especially after reading your works - Fighter is Awesome! (I haven't gotten a chance to read your others yet).

Chapter 31: On Returning To Life


I didn't know who to talk to when I marched into the Palace, but figured I best go to the top. I asked to speak to Uriel Septim VII.

An Altmer in a red gown showed up, looking down his nose at me as if I were a bug. I was very surprised.

There had been a likeness of the Emperor at the Arcane, but I had drawn a moustache and beard on it during my first year in school there. My memory did not recall its appearance before my handiwork, yet somehow my impression had been of a kindly Imperial.

"Sire, I must ask for your indulgence in a matter most urgent." I said humbly, wondering if I should bow or get on my knees before him.

"What is it you wish, I am a very busy man!" He was sure nasty tempered, but I guess he would be busy, and I must look like a ragamuffin in my old leather armor, even with it cleaned and repaired.

"Sire, a terrible disservice has been done to some friends of mine. They have been arrested for murdering me, but as you see I still live."

High Chancellor Ocato blanched. So this was that troublesome white Khajiit that had caused him to fall out of favor with the Emperor? Ocato looked her over carefully, thinking.

Looking at her it was hard to see the allure that her reputation spoke of. He felt in no danger of falling to her wiles. She looked nothing like he had pictured in his mind on hearing of her effect on men.

His orders were to take her immediately to see the Emperor, yet he hesitated. His desire for revenge on her? as well as retrieve his good standing with the Emperor?Should she never come forward, his theory could possibly still be proven?

"Sire?" I prompted.

At that moment a guard circling the rotunda neared; and upon seeing me set up a holler.

"It's the Grand Champion herself, she is alive! Oh miss Divine Avenger, would you mind signing an autograph for my son??oh here is something, I will bring you an inkpot, would you mind?"

"Get back to work, you are supposed to be on watch, not fawning over the riff-raff!" The Altmer snapped.

"Yes sir." He said in a crestfallen voice which was then belied by him running around the rotunda loudly claiming to the other guards that I lived.

***

He called this man sir? Then this was not the Emperor. I felt a sense of relief at that. I doubted this man would grant an indulgence.

The other guards on duty came to see me for themselves. The Altmer hissed out an exasperated breath.

"Follow me." He said in a surly tone.

I was led up many flights of the rotunda to a large sitting room and told to sit in one of the high backed chairs that surrounded a round table.

"Wait here!" he commanded, almost spitting the words.

When Uriel Septim VII entered from the balcony above, I knew it was him immediately. Even without the moustache I had drawn on him, and in a robe plainer than any Fathis wore, he looked like one who commanded the respect of many. He would easily be known as a ruler.

Without wondering if I should, I sank down to my knees before him. Being of a beast species, I had no right to ask an audience with this man, what had I been thinking? I was afraid to look up into his face, ashamed that I had disturbed him.

That's our Maxical, alright

I am so glad to see you are still reading AyumiFan! Thank you so much!

Who in their right mind would stop reading this piece of 24 karat gold?
Keep up the good work! :goodjob:

:read: Completely enthralling! But first?

'My memory did not recall it's appearance before my handiwork.'
It's = it is // its = possessive - you of course want the latter. http://www.stormloader.com/garyes/its.html.
Please take the brevity of my nitpicking as testimony to your talent.

Now, at 597 words, this is a brief, but crisply fulfilling chapter. Maxical is at her beautifully awkward best, displayed as only you can. Emotions and moods here are perfectly captured. The suspense you are building is palpable.

Well done my friend! :twirl:

I so enjoyed the mixture of irreverence and determination-



Just like our cat-girl-- "Got a problem? Ask the Emperor!"

And you also manage in just a few words to convey Ocato's personality....

And I loved the "Can I have your autograph?" bit....

I followed your link and it said, "Lose 3 pounds of ugly belly fat!" - Uh, Acadian... - just kidding, I scrolled down past the ad and found the article, lol. Thank you for your insight into Maxical!


@ Treydog - Thank you - and on the Ocato thing...The way I have felt since the first time I played the game...Well, the Mythic Dawn had inside info on that palace, the secret tunnels, etc. Someone had to have given them that info; someone high enough up to know the secrets that would not have been available to the average guard. Who gains command when Uriel dies - Ocato. The man is power hungry. I believe he was instrumental in the assassination of Uriel Septim and his sons. (and not just because he wears red robes, lol).

AyumiFan - Thank you! I remember in the first thread you said "moon sugar" - I appreciate so much your continued reading - You ROCK!