Like always, undescribably great.

Here is a rushed note from the laptop as I am riding around in the streets of.... somewhere..

1. Excellent writing.

2. Janus Hassildor... should we not try for a 'duel of two natures' in his soul? And if you do, don't just do the hackneyed 'powerful evil nature barely defeated by weak but enduring good nature' type of thing. Give some strong and powerful intellectual arguments to Janus' evil nature! Make the evil in him not only strong but intelligent as well, and give some strong philosophical arguments about why it is good and natural for him to do what he wants when he wants!

3. Have you thought about how Malx should be a CHANGED woman after she comes back from the dead? It would be so trite to have her as 'more of the same'. I suggest her personality should be changed to be both deeper, darker, wiser and yet more implacable at the same time.


Have to rush now. Bye!

But will be back soon...


Foxy

A new Janus has risen. One that, if you'll pardon the pun, has teeth!

Truly vivid description, I felt like I was in that crypt with him.



My favorite paragraph! Melisande lives and breathes through these pages. Great chapter! :clap:

Superb, truly superb. I loved the ending line:

"Oh dear what in the hell happened in that crypt?"

A perfect thought to end on!!

Oh my, Janus has certainly transformed into the evil arch-vampire here! Time to call Prof. Van Helsing! The entire sequence was very strong and exciting.

This line really stood out for me. Your use of the the word 'conjured' is not only very elegant, but also the perfect anology given Melisande being a witch.
her body still but her head alive as if she conjured the movement like the trees in Murkwood did.



Nitpicks:

or just force it down her throat for God's sake!
I think what you are looking for there is gods' sake. As that would be appropriate to a polytheistic religion like the Nine Divines, rather than a monotheistic one. Unless Melisande is a monotheist?


it just happens on its own if I am hurt or ang?WHAT THE [expletive]." Janus groaned, doubling over and holding his groin. "WHAT THE [expletive] did you do that for?"
You need to find a better word than [expletive]. Seeing that completely ruins the suspension of disbelief. I know it is difficult finding a word that will pass the forum filters and still have the desired impact. You might try "what in the blazes!" or "what in Oblivion!"


Instead her eyes glowed a bright red and her fangs stuck out of her mouth that drooled and oozed a red liquid too thin to be blood.
This sentence seems is a bit run on. You might fix it up a bit somewhat like this:
Now her eyes glowed bright red and long fangs jutted from a mouth that oozed a red liquid too thin to be blood.


She knew he would come in and kill her,
This is a bit of a head-hop, as Janus does not know what the duenna knows. Perhaps something like this:
She must have deduced he would come in and kill her,


The more he thought about things the more his anger grew
Perhaps rather than using the word "things" here, the word "it" would work better?


felt his own blood becoming a boiling turbulent sea of fire in his veins.
This is a strong sentence, but you are using two adjectives in a row. I would drop one as they seem redundant.


The muscles in his arms seemed to bulk as the heated blood touched them;, then ached for movement instantly.
You have both a semi-colon and a comma in the middle there, probably leftovers from a previous edit. I would get rid of the semi-colon, as the second part of the sentence is dependent upon the first.


With a hissing scream she flew backwards across the chamber, crashing against the stool and wall with enough force to shatter the stool.
You are using the word "stool" twice in the same sentence. How about trying something like this:
With a hissing scream she flew across the chamber. The stool exploded in a hail of shattered wood as she crashed against it and then into wall.


Moving faster than he had ever known it was possible to move,
You have "move" twice here. I think you can just remove the last instance:
Moving faster than he had ever known was possible,


Janus leapt up into the air and shot into the chamber where he would have more room to negotiate the battle.
Later in the same sentence you have "into" twice, you might make a small edit like so:
Janus leapt through the air and shot into the chamber where he would have more room to negotiate the battle.


Snatching up the potion she backed herself against the river stone wall and quickly uncorked it using her teeth and spitting out the cork.
This is a run on sentence, it could use a few commas in there, or possibly break it up into two sentences. Also "river stone wall" sounds a bit confusing, I think "stone wall" would probably work better.
Snatching up the potion, she backed herself against the stone wall. Moving quickly, she pulled free the cork with her teeth and spat it out.


He stood as a giant over her, much larger than he had been when he entered.
Perhaps his clothing should have ripped and torn, ala the Hulk when he gets big?






I suggest everyone else just killing Janus. Nothing is truly immortal, not even gods (as the game Morrowind shows). I am sure Melisande can find a way. Failing that, there is always encasing him in concrete and dropping him to the bottom of the ocean.



mALX is dead? Did that happen after her last post? But she is coming back? Did Jesus come and lend her a hand or something so she could finish her story? Perhaps her experience will make her less of a minx when she returns from the dead...

My dear Sub Rosa, why, your wit would make even the dead get up and sing...if only to expound on the wit that elucidates as well as stings!!!

:D

I thought he was talking about mALX !! :rofl:

@ EVERYONE - I posted screenshots of Janus at the end of the last chapter - as a giant, as a full vampire, as he starts going back to normal, and a couple face shots - unfortunately I had to get Maxical in them too, which lets the "cat" out of the bag that she will be brought back to life, lol.
***
@ Hauteecole Rider - Thank you so much! (I hope you saw that Rachel has posted! - and check out all my Janus screenshots, lol.) I appreciate your support so much (and can't wait for you to start posting!)
***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian, * fixed * I appreciate so much your help and support!
***
@ Zalphon - You ROCK Zalphon! Thank you!
***

@ Foxy - Thank you, Thank you! - Wait...you want Me or Maxical to change into a woman when (whichever of us is dead) comes back to life?

So, you think I need to be wiser...Hmmm, now how should I take that.... hmmm... Deeper?...Well, of the three, I can handle the "Darker" - I have a sun tanning bed, lol.

RE: Coming back from the dead: Actually, I am normally pretty much alive, but have been snowed in all week. The rumors of my death have been greatly exagerated, although if I was I would have to blame that on SubRosa the Minx, she had me dying laughing all week.

I already hinted there may be some long term residual effects of his blood running in her body, just didn't say what those may be. (no "tentacles" will be growing out of her body though, lol) You know how much your support means to me!

***
@ Destri Melarg - Thank you so much Destri - and yes, Melisande seems to have hijacked my keyboard a bit. Janus did too, now they are fighting for the Alpha position I guess, ROFL !!! Destri, your story is Awesome, I hope everyone has been keeping up with it! Your support means a lot to me!
***
@ Rachel the Breton - Thank you very much! Your conversations are as interesting as your story! (if that is possible) - I appreciate your support a lot!
***
@ SubRosa the Minxiest Minx from Minxville - Thank you so much - you did an Awesome job on that crossover, you wrote Alix and S'Jirra to a T!! (without Kiffin! - sorry, that was an ETN joke for Treydog and Nieres) * fixed * (I hope) - I actually rewrote a bunch of it, so may have added some new mistakes, ROFL !!



(SPEW on keyboard, monitor, wall) ROFL, (choke, choke, gasp) (Spew on keyboard, monitor) ROFL - you had me dying with this one, I see you are going to keep my rolling all week this week too!
***
@ Winter Wolf - I know, maybe I need to pick up the pace on my posting or something. :rofl: Thank you Winter Wolf, You are always appreciated! You ROCK !!

mAlX the minxiest minx of minxdomness is back from the dead! How was the afterlife? Do they have smoothies and salt & vinegar potato chips there?

I just took a look at those pictures of Janus. Oh my goddess he is huge! I am glad he was not naked, I am afraid to see what the rest of him looks like! :hubbahubba:

And how come Maxical is wearing the Emperor's clothes! Thief!

Did she loot the Emperor? Oh NO !!! Actually that is something Janus got her, he knows Maxical has a weakness for velvet. RE: Salt & Vinegar chips - she didn't go to THAT place! Yuuucccchhh! RE: Huge Janus - I got the mod after those pics were taken, so really have no idea - but the imagined thought was frightening to think about for sure, lol. If he turns into a giant for mating I see her flinging an Orc in with him and beating a hasty retreat to the Imitation Crabmeat stand in the Imperial City!!



EDIT : @ Hauteecole Rider - This is my favorite pic : http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/137/l_9dcf048b07a045afa6df15c0f361ce99.jpg

EDIT: @ Destri Melarg - The ones with the white cross? It seemed to have aged him quite a bit, and there was a bit of a froggy look to him with that white on his face, lol. Vicente looks like that in my game, (except really ugly, I think they used Jay Leno's chin for a model for him or something!) - I think they need a mod for making NPC vampires better looking. They have one for players, that is where the "Vicente as the man" comes from.

EDIT: @ EVERYONE - I turned Maxical into a vampire on the 360 game for the upcoming segments of the story so it would help me know what I was dealing with - and it turned her whole coat orange like a regular Khajiit, and her eyes turned pink like Janus's! (this is on my glitched game) I have become a vampire in one other game on the 360, and she stayed white but got really ugly, her face got wrinkled and her eyes and lips turned red. in this game she looks just like any regular Khajiit (no wrinkles, no red lips) - except she has Janus's pink eyes! (and suddenly is no longer an Albino!)

So I didn't feed for about 10 days gametime. People would ask me if I was ill, but still wait on me and serve me, talk to me nicely, etc. - no one called me a vampire at all! The first time I played a vampire when she was red-eyed and wrinkled people were calling me vampire after day 3 and running from me!

Also in the glitched game, when Maxical was doing the DB quests, Vicente had his normal red eyes and wrinkles, but I went back over there to get the vampirism and now he has pink eyes and no wrinkles too!

So I just found another gaff in this glitched game, lol. It got rid of Maxical's albinoism when it gave her vampirism. I ran the vampire cure quest, the game crashed twice - once outside Drakelowe and once inside the chamber. Both crashes the screen went black and stayed that way.

Oh my!

SubRosa's comment about shredded clothing a la the Hulk kept sticking in my mind as I was viewing the screenshots!

I'd get a crick in my neck looking up at that!

Oh, and is Maxical flirting shamelessly with him?? :hubbahubba:

Is it just me or does 'full vampire' Janus kind of look like 'Kermit the Frog'?

Chapter 58: Two Vampires, A Witch, And The Faregyl


Melisande looked over at Janus with trepidation. They should go get the dagger tonight, time was of the essence in getting these things completed. It needed to be done soon, but suddenly she found herself hesitant to travel alone with him in the dark.

She had shown him no fear, but that was before. The vampire that emerged from that crypt was not the same as the one she had?kicked in the groin? - dear Gods, what if he wanted revenge for that kick? She dared not be alone with him lest he...dear Gods why had she done that?

He stood like a statue, a king, or a god when he emerged, not like any vampire she had ever seen before. Not like any vampire, yet there was something familiar about him as he surveyed all that lay before him. Who did he remind her of? It taunted her mind, flickering just out of grasp, yet she could not pin it down. The clothing was not right, nor the hair, but the stature, the stance?lithe, cat-like. She had definitely seen it before.

Melisande scanned her mind for everyone she could think of that had great height and stood like a god that she may have met in her past.

"We shall leave now for the dagger, I am ready to go." Janus said, his head barely lowering to send her a glance.

She had given Janus all her fire spells. If she went out with him now, she would have no defense should he desire retribution for that kick.

"Uh?We have time to do that, I need to get the ingredients lined up. In fact, since we have that sample of her blood, and her soul?it is possible we may not need that dagger at all.. er?Janus.

"But you knew we had those things before, why suddenly do you change your mind?" Janus spoke to her, but his gaze never left the front gate to the castle.

"Janus, don't you think you should give yourself time to ?recuperate?before taking off? People will definitely notice a giant walking among them, and?you have removed your cowl, others will see the vampire and know you as Count Skingrad. Aren't you worried about your reputation, your position?"

Finally, very slowly and deliberately Janus moved his head to take in her face. His eyes were inscrutable, saturnine; his mouth held a mocking smile.

"Why are you afraid, Melisande?" Janus spoke in dulcet tones as if to tantalize or confuse, like a cat may hypnotize a bird.

Her heart startled in her chest and she took a step back from him. "Janus, I don't like how you are acting. I admit you make me nervous. I apologize for the kick, is that what this is about? I needed you to be strong when you went in there. Maybe not this strong. But Janus, if I had not done it, she would have killed you. I did it for you, although I am sure it did not feel that way to you. I am sorry...very sorry for that."

Melisande thought rapidly while she stalled for time. He is toying with me. He knows I am afraid now. A shiver went down her spine. Where he was truly two different people before, one the gentleman, the other the beast that tore into the Fire Daemon; now there was a third. But who or what was he? Of the three, Melisande knew instinctively this one was more dangerous than the others.

Janus laughed; it was not a pleasant sound. "Remind me to? thank you later for that kick. Now let us 'away' for that dagger." His tone mocked, its firmness indicating he was not bending to her excuses.

"No need for thanks, you must live for Maxical's sake. Uh, I...can I get my fireballs back from you Janus? Please? And I? will be needing supplies before we go." Melisande tried to make her voice light and flippant, but wasn't sure if she had succeeded.

"Did you forget I am an Immortal?" His voice indicated clearly he did not believe her excuse.

"Oh, well, no. But if she injured you badly enough, she may have escaped the vault. She would be very powerful to be turned loose on Cyrodiil. Also, remember that if she harmed you, your blood would be unusable Janus. We need to have yours for Maxical. The only thing that will get her over the initial problems caused by being dead so long and bring those organs back to life has to come from you. I am so very sorry, I should have thought harder of a way to get the vampire to come out. I apologize Janus."

"Do you think I mean to hurt you? Why? Because you kicked me? I doubt I would have gone in there if you hadn't. I dreaded facing that duenna, and seeing Rona's?remains again." Janus's voice sounded deeper than it ever had before, and he had turned his head back away from her, not looking at her as he spoke. "Don't think I am thanking you for it though, and I suggest it never happen again. You have no idea what demons you may release with a trick like that."

"I think I am beginning to find out. I apologize sincerely. We are very pressed for time to perform this ritual, and you were stalling. I? you have no idea how much we need to get done yet, and there is so little time remaining to get it all done in. We could not afford the delay your stalling was causing. Please forgive me."

Janus handed her the fireballs. "I would suggest you not try and use these on me either, you forget I can read minds. As we travel you are going to fill me in on the steps needed for this ritual, and the timeline constraints you speak of."

Melisande laid her hand on his arm. "I truly am sorry, Janus. I should not have done that. It will never happen again. As you know, I have lived isolated, and am not used to dealing with people. I?it was not respectful of me to do that to you. Could I take it back, I would."

Janus's head just barely turned in her direction, and without saying a word he gave a very slight nod of his head.

It was as close as Melisande was going to get as an acceptance of her apology. She heaved a sigh of relief.

Sometime on their way to the Faregyl Inn Janus's voice began changing from the deep bass sound to his normal tone and his size began diminishing to nearly his usual height. His personality traits were showing again as well, much to her relief; and yet underlying it all Melisande felt strongly that something had altered inside him permanently in that crypt.

***

As they neared the Faregyl Inn Janus suddenly alerted. The smell of an ancient was wafting in the air from the southeast of them. It could not be very far away, as the wind was not coming from that direction.

"Melisande, you had better stay close. There is a vampire around here, an old one. We are walking toward where he is." Janus whispered.

Melisande cast a chameleon spell on them quickly, then whispered, "What should we do?"

"Be quiet, his hearing will be strong like mine. He will smell us though. We had best hurry to that Inn." Janus was scanning ahead of them but saw no movements. He listened carefully for any sound out of the ordinary as they made a bee line toward the Inn.

Finally the white-washed walls and thatched roof of the Faregyl came into view, and they hurried into the yard of the Inn and pressed themselves against the outer wall near the door, catching their breath. Janus stayed alerted for the scent, it was very near. He continued scanning the surrounding woods for any movement.

"Let's get in quickly. I don't like the idea of standing out here. Before we go in, we had better plan how we are going do this." Melisande said, glancing around.

***

Maxical seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth, Vicente had somehow lost her scent near Skingrad.

After the ambush on him in Cheydinhal Vicente had followed Alix, Fathis, and that boy Manheim, followed them as far as the Rumare. It was then he had heard the song of Maxical's blood, it seemed to be coming from the Imperial City Prison! He would have his revenge on those men for that beating, but getting Maxical had to come first.

Vicente had crossed the Rumare in the dark, coming ashore near the prison. Had she been arrested? He discarded the idea of having Antoinetta Marie bail Maxical out. She had developed an intense jealousy over his interest in Maxical and had been creating quite a few problems with it. It would be best to handle this alone.

Pulling his cowl well over his face Vicente had entered the prison grounds to find it in chaos. There would be no way to sneak into the prison at this time, rodents were running around the grounds and the yard was filled with guards. He crept back out through the gate just as one of the Khajiit brothers from the Black Horse Courier arrived.

Surprisingly enough her scent and song were now outside the prison, and he followed it to the Inn of Ill Omen. The light of the sun burned him then, and he had to give up following her and find shelter.

There was a convenient cave between the inn she had gone to and the Faregyl, which Vicente knew was Maxical's home. He decided to hide out in it; how handy it would prove if she cut between the two, or stepped out in the evening hours.

The cave was filled with necromancers. He dispatched them in a bloodbath, releasing quite a bit of the rage he still felt over that ambush. Quite a bit, but it would never be fully gone till Alix, Manheim, and Fathis lay dead.

At first Vicente had suspected Damien of setting him up with that ambush in the stables, but the more he thought on it, he doubted that. More than likely Alix and Fathis had cooked that up, bringing Manheim in as back-up.

Maxical must have told them about him?or maybe they had followed her after she wrote that letter, forced her to go home?that letter was definitely from her, there was no doubting her scent on it, nor her handwriting. She had wanted him to train her some more, had asked him to come to her as 'the man'.

She had gotten the first kiss of her life from 'the man', possibly she had fallen in love with him. That she was stunned by the beauty of him as he had looked before vampirism ravaged his features was obvious, and Maxical was drawn to all things beautiful.

She had gone back and forth from that Inn near her home several times, but each time it was daylight hours, frustrating Vicente to no end that he could not step out and catch her. He wondered why Maxical was visiting this inn and spending so much time, when her home was such a short distance and she never seemed to stop there. Vicente decided he had better investigate that, there could be a man at the inn that was competing for her interest.

Finally, leaving the protection of the cave he followed Maxical using the song and her scent as a guide. This proved difficult because he could not travel during the daylight hours. Several times he had been close to catching her and instead had to find shelter as the sun's rays began burning him alive, each near miss raising his frustration and anger till he was determined she would pay for being so difficult.



*** Vicente as 'The Man'

http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/21/l_1d5f56beb4204238811402688f12195b.jpg


*** Vicente as the vampire:


http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/6/l_66414cea51674ce89ce3d806f296d338.jpg

oooh, are we going to have a big confrontation between two of the men following Maxical? :gun:

I'd put my virtual septims on Janus! Vicente is just wimpy! :shakehead:

This sounds a little awkward:


It feels like it should be two sentences, not one, and there seems to be a qualifier missing. This is how I read it:
They should go get the dagger tonight, since time was of the essence in getting these things completed. Suddenly she feared herself hesitant to travel alone with him in the dark.




The repetition is usually advised against, but I thought this was very representative of Melisande's thoughts running around in circles like a hen with her head cut off. In this particular situation I found it effective.


Another awkward sentence:


I'm not sure how to rewrite that so it flows a little smoother. As his size diminished, some of his normal traits returned. However something underlying the surface remained altered by Janus's experience in the crypt.

Yet another one:


I'd break it up into two shorter sentences: He discarded the idea of having Antoinetta Marie bail Maxical out. The Breton assassin had been creating quite a few problems with her jealousy over his interest in Maxical.


That said, this is getting to be exciting! Enough with the cliffhangers! :shocking:

Oh, and did someone mention salt and vinegar potato chips? I've been having a craving for that for a week! :drool:

Well, mALX. I think this story was just great. My goodness you are getting quite good at diving in and out of Janus' personalities with great effect. We even add here a complete change to Melisande. The reasons for all these changes are perfectly clear. The changes are well presented and I find them quite fun. Just well done!

You know I am not the sharpest arrow in the quiver when it comes to following plots. A twist here, a turn there, and I'm usually lost looking at a sign for Skyrim. So. . . you will be very proud of me. As soon as Janus reported he smelled an ancient, I knew it was Vincente!

I'm starting to get mouse withdrawals, hint, hint.

Janus and Melisande just need some fresh, warm potato bread. That is of course if friend Teresa didn't eat it all!

Seriously now, this was another wonderful story that moves things along quite a bit.

Ahh, good, we get closer to seeing our favorite Khajiit...I was starting to suffer withdrawal symptoms, but I'm hoping this latest installment will tide me over...as long as more is posted soon (hint, hint ).
As for the change in Janus...hmm...very interesting indeed. I wonder, does he have the strength to be a good monster, or will he succumb? Though he's fallen sometimes, he seems to have an innate strength that generally keeps him from succumbing to his vampirism even when temptation is great. With new found powers, will his strength be enhanced, diminished or left untouched? Hmm, hmm, hmm...I can't wait to see how this plays out!
Oh, and for the record, I hope Janus kicks Vicente's butt.

I love the way you are juggling all these powerful NPCs.
That is a very hard basket for all but the best writers.

mALX, however, the queen of all plotweaving, does it with ease. :twirl:

What a clash of the titans you are setting up. Please make it happen soooooon. The suspense is killing me.

Melisande turned into a quivering mass of jello by Janus?

Methinks this relationship doth take a turn!

The return of Vicente who, to my knowledge, has been wandering out in the cold.

Like the others, I see an epic clash coming (or at least as epic as the clash can be until Janus goes Shaquille on Vicente). :nod:

@ Hauteecole Rider - Thank you, Thank you for your nits!!! I re-wrote a good portion of the story because of them, and it reads a lot smoother now (I think). I have drummed up excitement about your writing abilities on here, I can't wait till you post! I love your writing, imagination, and creativitity! Better hurry and post, Winter Wolf has already clumped you in with authors!! (so now you HAVE to!!) You are so appreciated !!! Thank you again for all your help!!

***

@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian, I already PM'd you how tickled I was that you caught onto that !!! Acadian you are the best, I appreciate you so much!! Thank you again! (And I fixed your nits!!!)

***

@ Rachel the Breton - Ooohhh! Thank you Rachel (who I have finally caught up to your current chapter !!! Yeah !!!) - The first time I was in the CS playing around with his size because Janus was actually shorter than her for some reason. It just gives you an arrow thing with pre-sets. Well, I thought moving it up to 1.2 from 1.0 would make him about 6 foot tall. WRONG !! He turned into the Jolly Pink Giant or something! I took screenies anyway, thinking I would never use them. Then when I was writing that scene where he changes in the crypt I suddenly got the idea to use those screenies - I should have waited till I was awake to decide, ROFL !!! Now I am stuck with a giant vampire, ROFL !!! Ah, well. It will all work out somehow, lol !!

Thank you so very much Rachel, you are AWESOME!! And very appreciated!!!

***

@ Winter Wolf - Woo Hoo! Thank you Winter Wolf!! I appreciate you so much!! You ROCK !!

***

@ Destri Melarg - SPEW! ROFL !!! "Goes Shaquille on Vicente" - ROFL !!!

RE: Melisande: You are right, Janus may not take a whole lot of guff after that revelation, lol. I think a lot of the reason he took it till now was that he was a murderer, and kind of felt awkward showing any temper after that with the only people that can bring her back - but that doesn't mean he should be her kicking bag either. I think he handled it well, didn't get in her face or anything, just made her think twice.

Thank you so much Destri, after reading your incredible story I am always just so tickled that you find mine interesting enough to read !!!! I appreciate you A LOT !!

Well, Malx1 the minx, even in the male IS a vampire, he shouldn't be a kicking bag ... and especially not being kicked in the tea bags!

Now I wonder what kind of tea a vampire has in his bags...

Orange Pekoe - and BTW, did you see the size of Janus as a giant vampire? I doubt "tea bags" covers it - anymore. Unless it is those giant tea bags made for making gallons at a time.

*********************************



Chapter 59: Vicente And Eyja



Vicente followed Maxical to Castle Skingrad and waited. She had been in there far too long, she must have been incarcerated.

Pulling a cowl well over his face he entered the jail. The Jailor was sleeping in his chair, but awoke with a snort at the sound of Septims jingling. Vicente slid them across the desk to the man, asking to visit a prisoner. The Jailor raised his eyebrows, promptly pocketing it. With a jerk of his head and a sloppily aimed wave of his hand he indicated the doors into the dungeons themselves, but didn't offer to accompany Vicente.

Pleased with this, Vicente assumed he would just as readily let him sneak out with Maxical for more Septims. "You're a good man." he said to the Jailor and was answered with a toothy grin. The man appeared to have been imbibing on the job, good.

As soon as he entered the dungeon Vicente smelled a vampire lair. Surprised, he followed the scent down the corridor, checking in each cell he passed for Maxical. The scent of the vampire got stronger as he made his way to the back of the dungeon, and the floor was filthy with blood stains. The thought of Maxical being holed up in a vampire lair with her virgin blood enraged him.

When he reached the end of the dungeon Vicente was livid. There was not one single prisoner in the dungeon; the Jailor had to have known that when he took his Septims! Vicente decided he would take advantage of the opportunity to explore on his own, but if he found nothing he would be stomping in and demanding his Septims back from the Jailor unless he showed him where Maxical was.

The streaks of dried blood ran under the wall, there must be a door there. Vicente felt around for a spring on the walls. Sure enough, the candelabra was false and gave with a soft click when he pulled down on it. The back wall slid out of the way revealing another corridor. His nose was immediately assailed by the strong odor of the vampire lair.

Moving stealthily he followed the corridor down through the wine cellar to a set of stairs and a door leading into the private area of the castle. Just barely opening it a crack his nose was overwhelmed by the powerful odor of an ancient vampire line, older than his own. The scent was somewhat familiar, but he could not place it. After over 300 years it was very odd to find an old line he did not recognize. The song of Maxical's blood could be heard strongly in this area as well. Following the scent and her song led him straight to the Lord's Manor. Was Maxical working here then?

The Count must be an idiot to not know he had vampires on his closest staff. It was imperative now that he get Maxical out of here, there could be only one thing a line that old would be wanting from her. Vicente had done all the legwork on her, trained her to respond to the spells. To have another vampire waltz in and steal her from under his nose would be intolerable!

The Lord's Manor was guarded well, Vicente would need assistance to break in. Finding a door that led to an outside upper decking, Vicente stepped out and immediately smelled another vampire. What was this place, a haven for the creatures? Maxical had to be removed from here as quickly as possible! He would need to make a full scale assault on the castle, and soon!

The Dark Brotherhood had a manor in Skingrad, he would set up a base of operations in it. Vicente skirted through the castle gates and cut down the cliffside to the city proper. Spying the Two Sister's Lodge was open Vicente started in the door and collided with a young Nord girl.

"Forgive me, Ma'am, I hope you were not injured by my clumsiness." He said, thinking to himself what a clod the girl was, not watching where she was going.

"Oh my, a gentleman! Don't see many of them around these days. You wouldn't happen to have a job or a place to stay would you, I?need to? move out of my current place."

"Are you skilled with any weapons? I do have need of some assistance in a certain endeavor. If all works out it would mean permanent employment, and I pay very well."

"I'm experienced with the bow." She fidgeted and looked away from him. "I would need to stay somewhere though." She added, quickly turning back and looking up at his cowl.

"I was just stopping in for a bite?"

"Well, I am a great cook! And can clean house as well. I'm good for whatever you need, fighting, cooking, cleaning?whatever!" She raised her eyebrows twice rapidly on the last word.

Ignoring her obvious hint, Vicente rapidly devised a plan. He decided to hire her. She could fix up the manor for the others and keep him from paying inn prices for meals while he waited. "Okay then, lets just see what you can do to begin with. I have a manor here in Skingrad. You clean it up and keep me fed well till my colleagues arrive. Then we will see how you fit in."

"Oh, you will not regret it. I know you didn't ask about me, but I feel I should tell you since we will be working closely together. I was orphaned when I was young, and don't even remember who my parents were. I'm not really sad about it, it was so long ago. Gunder took me in when I was a teen, and I've lived with him ever since. We've?shared a bed if you know what I mean." She raised her eyebrows twice. "But he never would marry me. I wouldn't say he was cruel to me, but a woman has emotional needs, you know? He was just never there for me. I was just another thing to him, a part of his shop. But that's all different now that I'll be with you. I'm glad to be working with you, I can see we'll get along just fine, just fine!"

Vicente's head was reeling already and they hadn't even walked a short block yet. "I will require peace and quiet to work, and you will have to stay busy without disturbing me, do you think you can do that?"

"Oh yes, don't you worry about me! I know when to be quiet, believe me! Gunder, he used to tell me to 'just shut the hell up' - it will be so nice to work for someone that is such a gentleman as you are!" She smiled up at him, arching one eyebrow.

Vicente rolled his eyes and looked away. He had obviously made a mistake in hiring her. Well, she may be killed in the mission, if not he could let her know it was not working out as soon as it was over.

"Oh, how silly of me! I never told you my name, it is Eyja! That is not spelled with a "Y" like it sounds, but a "J" - E Y J A - Oh, silly me, it does have a "Y" in it! PWOOHAAHAAHA!" The laugh burst out of Eyja producing a spray of spit, and then mellowed down into a cross between a wolf howling and a mule braying.

Vicente pulled his handkerchief out and wiped Eyja's spittle off his sleeve, casting her a sideways glance. The girl was obviously unbalanced, would he be safe having her in the manor with him?

"I'm a Nord, could you tell that just by looking at me? Some people can't you know." She prattled on.

"Eyja with a "J" - it would be best if you learned right now that in my line of business we require complete silence. Now here we are at the manor, you must get to work fixing me something to eat and cleaning up for a party of eight. Fresh bedding on all the beds. Your quarters will be in the basemant, and I expect you to remain there unless called by me for some unknown reason."

"Complete silence? I can handle that! You would be surprised how quiet I can be when I need to be. For instance this one time?"

"Silence!" Vicente's voice showed the exasperation he was feeling, but he prided himself on not shouting, as he wanted to badly.

Eyja mimed herself turning a key in a lock on her mouth. "Shh, silence!" She whispered.

Vicente began to imagine how he would commit her murder after the mission was over and she no longer worked for him. He smiled at the pleasant thought of a gag in her mouth.

Seeing the smile Eyja laughed, once again sounding like a wolf-mule cross. "See, I told you we would get along just fine! Now aren't you glad you ran into me? Gunder used to smile just like you did just now, as if he thought of the most pleasant thing in the world!"

"I imagine he did." Vicente mumbled.

***

Entering the large manor, Vicente scribbled a hasty note to Ocheeva instructing her to drop all other contracts for the time being and gather all the assassins. She was to bring them to Summitmist Manor, they were needed for a major undertaking. The utmost speed in arriving was imperative! Vicente triple underlined the last sentence.

While Vicente waited for the arrival of the others he drew up battle plans for the siege. The whole time he worked a pounding sound could be heard, but he ignored it. Then he heard a splintering sound and footsteps.

"Hmmph, that door was stuck. I was forced to break the lock on it." Eyja said, smiling.

"I thought I told you to stay in the basemant unless I specifically called you up here. Did I not, Eyja?" Vicente's eye caught sight of a cord hanging from the draqes and he stared longingly at it.

"Well, well yes you did. But I was afraid you may have called me and I hadn't heard, what with the door stuck and all. The doors used to get stuck all the time when I lived with Gunder."

"I am sure they did. I did not call you, you may return to the basemant. If I have need of you, I guarantee I will make myself heard."

"That is just what Gunder used to sa?okay, I'm going."

Vicente gathered up his plans and moved to the master bedroom upstairs, as it had a desk in it. He locked the door as he entered, and sat down at the desk with the parchments he had written out for each member. When he felt that no detail had been omitted Vicente locked them into the desk.

It was early afternoon, and would be hours before Vicente could go outside, so he lay down for a nap. His dreams were troubled; he dreamed of his youth, playing hide and seek with his friends. The sun was warm against his skin, and he smiled to feel it. It was his turn to hide, and he saw his parents' barn. Running, the sun glinting off his hair, Vicente entered the barn. The sweet smell of hay filled his nose. It was his favorite place as a child. He climbed up into the loft to hide, but as he did the smell began to change to a sickly smell. Vicente felt his stomach churning. He didn't want to follow that horrible smell and see what it was; he cried out to himself not to go investigate, but Vicente in the dream kept going deeper and deeper into the barn, and the smell got worse and worse till he was sure he would vomit, both in his dream and in real life. He stumbled over something, it was a rope. He tugged on it and a sheet dropped from the ceiling, revealing three people hanging by their necks. A small girl stood next to them, but when she turned and faced Vicente it was Eyja!

"Who are they?" Vicente heard himself ask in the dream.

"My parents and Gunder. They never wanted to hear what I had to say. Always telling me to shut up and leave them alone. Now look where they are!" Eyja said, cackling.

"What is that horrible smell?" Vicente heard himself ask in the dream.

"No, don't ask!" Vicente tried to warn his dream self.

Eyja came towards him then, she had something in her hand. He couldn't look! But Vicente in the dream turned his head back and looked at the plate.

"No! Don't look" Vicente yelled to his dream self.

"Shepherd's Pie? My specialty." Eyja said, her laugh echoing around him. Then she reached out and touched him.

Vicente jumped up screaming, knocking Eyja and the plate of Shepherd's Pie to the ground.

"What the hell are you doing in here? How did you get in, I had that door locked!" Vicente bellowed at the top of his lungs.

"Ain't you ever heard of a lock pick?" Eyja asked. "I thought you might be hungry. I made my specialty, Shepherd's Pie!"

"You are NEVER! EVER! NEVER! EVER! to EVER come in my room again for ANY reason EVER AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? Now get out this minute! And I don't ever even want to hear the words 'Shepherd's Pie' again, you are never to make it again, do you hear me?"

"My, we wake up a tad grumpy, don't we? I can smooth those ruffled feathers if you like." Eyja arched her eyebrows twice.

"GET OUT !!!! And you better never suggest that to me again if you want to keep working for me!"


***

* NOTE: The dream Vicente has is an actual dream (with a few minor exceptions) that some readers may recognize from their "becoming a vampire" experiences!

OMG!!!!!

I never thought anyone could be as annoying as the Adoring Fan, but you've managed to make Eyja (with a J) even more annoying than that Freakin' Bounder!!! :gun:

What a wonderful chapter! And Vincente deserved it all!




Orchid tea. Medical joke. What we vets call castration, is referred to in human medicine as orchidectomy. Beats me why male gonads are named after a flower that is considered a replica of - umm, uh, well . . . you know.

ROFL...choke...spew...

(gasp)

Just for THAT I am going to do THIS.

"Well, I am a great cook! And can clean house as well. I'm good for whatever you need, fighting, cooking, cleaning?whatever!" She raised her eyebrows twice rapidly on the last word.

Now try saying "FIGHTING COOKING" together....REAL FAST!!!

And then..

He smiled at the pleasant thought of a gag in her mouth.

MUST...NOT...COMMENT...MUST...NOT...MUST...


**DFOXY choked to death holding in his (obviously low-minded) comment. **


Orange Pekoe - and BTW, did you see the size of Janus as a giant vampire? I doubt "tea bags" covers it - anymore. Unless it is those giant tea bags made for making gallons at a time.

Gallons at a time! Ye gods! Even a Sperm Whale would blanch at that!!!

mALX, normally I like to single parts of a chapter out, but not today!
How can I? The whole chapter was pure magic from start to finish. Nobody can generate a humor into their characters like you can. NOBODY!!! :bowdown:

Oh wait!!! Yes I can.

I know you wrote this just to upset me. Yes. You did. And yes. I did.


And now even the Cheydinhal sanctuary are coming over to Skingrad!!!! The clash of the titans has now reached epic level. Yipppeee.

:read: This was well written, laced with humor and a JOY to read.

It just flowed perfectly, and your descriptions and dialogue were wonderful.

I enjoyed what you did with Eyja - she really helped bring this story to life. Well done.


Take a peek at these two passages:

'Vicente skirted through the castle gates and cut down the Cliffside to the city proper.' {Did you mean to capitalize cliffside?}

'It was his turn to hide, and he saw his parent's barn.' {What this says is the barn of his parent. If you mean the barn of both of his parents, then you want to move the apostrophe over: parents' }