I am finally caught back up again. My, so much happens in just two posts! Where to begin commenting?

I think what I enjoyed best of the last few posts was the return of your trademark humorous writing. As well as you can do drama, the scenes of Vicente and Eyja were simply priceless. My goodness did you manage to make her annoying! I do not think even Rachel the Breton could do better with the Annoying Fan of Dragonheart's! Especially delicious was Vicente's nightmare featuring her!

Oh goddess of prose, hear my prayer:
May your pen never tire, nor your muse desert you
Whilst you tell the tale of Maxical the Fair

And we mortal beings wait, as we have waited
With hearts eager and breath bated
And an appetite to read that can never be sated.

So write, we do humbly beseech and implore
Write, ever so much more and more
And of our adoration you may ever be sure.


Oh no...look what you've done, mALX! You've driven me to writing (bad) poetry on Maxical's behalf! Needless to say, I love the last chapter...Eyja is golden...I always thought that her "revelation" in the game was...well totally inappropriate and silly. Who would say that, I thought? But now...now it makes absolute and perfect sense. And who deserves such a treasure more than Vicente, eh? I have to second what SubRosa said...the Annoying, err, Adoring Fan annoys me even when I write him as a character in my own story (LOL!), and I couldn't imagine anyone more irksome. She was very well done! And Vicente and the Cheydinhal Sanctuary vs Janus and co, eh? Ohhhhh, how exciting!! I can hardly wait to read it!

:rofl: You, mALX, are worth Janus' supersized weight in gold. This was fantastic. By the end of the chapter I didn't know who wanted to kill Eyja more, Vicente or me!

@ Hauteecole Rider - Thank you very much! She gets on my nerves so badly in game that it was easy to write her as annoying, hard to make it worse than it actually is though, lol !!! Uh Oh, I see Foxy has taken your Orchid comment and run with it, have you peeked at SubRosa's comments lately? ROFL !!!
***
@ Foxy - Thank you so much Foxy! In honor of the comment you withheld I have added something to the next chapter you should appreciate. I appreciate you always for stopping by, You ROCK!

EDIT: Gourd for your sword?

***
@ Winter Wolf - I would NEVER try to upset you! I just wanted everyone to visualize her laugh being a howl followed by a bray - Oh, dear me - I have more Wolf anolagies coming up when we get back to Janus and Melisande! ARGH! - Thank you so much Winter Wolf, I understand how your Lupine nature would not appreciate being associated with Eyja, lol. You are Awesome! (and I appreciate you tolerating that anolagy on the laugh!)
***
@ Acadian - Thank you very much Acadian, * fixed * - You ROCK !!
***
@ SubRosa the Minx - Thank you so much! I didn't think she could be more annoying than she is in game, but thought I would try anyway. The dream sequence I got straight out of the list of random vampire dreams you get when you become a vampire - I read each one and picked the one I thought I could slide Eyja into the best, and this one ended up being my fave of all, lol. So, minxing around in your new car, huh? Lol !!!
***
@ Rachel the Breton - Thank you, Thank you Rachel! I love it! The little poems at the beginning of each of your chapters are always a great addition - this was Awesome! - and in game I always avoid Eyja or if I get her, I put the Frost Atronoch familiar from the Wizard's Tower in the entryway in Skingrad so she will stay in the basemant! ROFL !!
***
@ Destri Melarg - Thank you so much! I have always hated Eyja in game, so this was a joy to write!

********************************





Chapter 60: Eyja Takes Charge


Vicente could not sleep in the manor after the incident with Eyja, but had a brilliant idea to get a room at the Three Sisters Lodge and eat there as well. His stomach had not been right since he had been eating that Shepherd's Pie.

As soon as the suns rays were down enough to go outside Vicente slipped quietly out the door of the manor and made his way over to the Lodge.

"I'd like a room for the next three days, and what is your special for dinner tonight?"

"Would you like a double bed or two singles? You two make a cute couple, I've got a room with a nice big bed for you. From the look of your lady, you two must be honeymooning."

"What?" Vicente spun around.

Eyja grinned up at him. "I couldn't hear you from here if you needed my help, now could I?" She winked at the Innkeeper and then brayed.

"What the?what are you?never mind. The room is for you. As a gentleman, I cannot stay alone in the house with you. We have no chaperone. You must remain here till the others arrive. If you happen to find other employment or living arrangements during that time I will understand.."

"Well ain't you classy! Treating me like the Countess herself! I could tell you were sweet on me by the way you leapt on me in your bedroom. You must have marriage on your mind with all that talk of chaperones. Gunder never talked of chaperones, he just laid me right down. There is no need for all this, I'm ready, willing, and able!" She brayed again, leering up at him.

"You are fired, you no longer are needed for the position." Vicente spat, his stomach churning.

"Oh, I see. Ain't you a slick one! Can't date someone in your employ, huh?"

"I don't want to work with you, date you, or mate you. The only thought I have had since meeting you is murder."

"Gunder always said that too! You two are more alike than you know! But you are a gentleman of course. Oh, by the way, I tidied up your desk while you were gone. What are all those plans and maps you had in there about Skingrad Castle?"

"What? Get over here right now!" Vicente dragged her by the arm out of hearing of the Innkeeper who was obviously eavesdropping on their conversation by the look on her face. "How could you possibly have got into that desk, I had it locked! And where did you find the time? I came straight here, and you arrived here the same time I did!"

"Geez, how long does it take to break into a desk?" Eyja rolled her eyes.

"But those notes were intricately?coded?you broke into the desk, decoded them, read them, and still made it here at the same time I did? How?"

"It didn't take much to break that code, good gods, I could have figured that out at five. So what is your interest in the Skingrad Castle? I have friends there, ya' know. I go visiting there all the time. I had lunch there the day I met you. In fact, they asked me to spend a few days, but when you offered me the job I thought it would be better to be employed and have a permanent roof over my head. When you were sleeping that day I sent them my regrets and told them about my new position."

"You say you were there yesterday? Eyja, this is very important. Did you see an Albino Khajiit there? She has red hair, and was up in the Lord's Manor area." Vicente still gripped her arm, and was shaking it as he spoke as if to emphasize the words.

"Geez, take me upstairs to that room why don't ya. The Innkeeper will think you are trying to lay me down in her dining room."

Vicente released her immediately. "The white Khajiit, have you seen her?"

"Oh her. Yeah, I saw her." Eyja's voice showed obvious disappointment that he released her.

"Well, is she working there? Is she a guest?" Vicente was beginning to get excited. Eyja may just be useful after all.

"A guest? The Count and Countess aren't likely to have a Khajiit as a guest! Of course she is working there! And not doing a great job I might add. It takes years of practice to?" Eyja began scornfully till Vicente cut in.

"Our mission is to get in and?rescue her, she is in great danger." He tried for a grave tone, but must have failed by Eyja's reaction.

"Oh, so you prefer a little feline fun? A little tail with your tail? Whiskers for your whiskers? Furry?"

"Stop it! It is nothing like that! I told you, this is a mission. There will be eight of us rescuing her, and we are doing it for our organization." Vicente vowed to himself that he would let her live if she got him Maxical.

"Oh? And what organization is that?" Eyja asked sarcastically.

"I can't tell you, it is top secret." Vicente tried for a mysterious yet important tone. It must have worked, Eyja seemed to believe him.

"Geez, one would think you were with the Dark Brotherhood or something with all your secrecy! So this is the 'endeavor' you talked about? You will be glad for my assistance. I know my way around that castle, and can even show you all the secret tunnels and sliding hidden panels that lead into the Lord's Manor. And I can distract the guards and the Count and Countess, since they know me personally. I could just go right in and ask them if she could come help me out cleaning a manor in Skingrad, ya' know? So are we still working together on this? Because if not, I would hate to have to go visit them and warn them something is coming their way."

"Yes, we are still working together. Forgive my?nerves. This is a crucial mission and it has me on edge, that is all." Vicente could not believe his good luck!

"Don't you worry about it, with Eyja on the job, everything will go smooth as silk!" Eyja whooped loudly and brayed, slapping Vicente hard on the back. "And to thank you for hiring me, I will show you where you have made mistakes in those plans. I know the castle, remember? Your outlines were?well let's just say they could use some work. I will draw in where the secret doors are, and the tunnels and such. You will be able to go all over that castle and never be seen by anyone with my help!" Eyja's voice rang with confidence.

Vicente was feeling a lot better about her now, but still had one worry. "Now, when the others get here, you must realize they can know nothing whatsoever about the Khajiit. This is top secret, do you understand? In our line of work we never discuss the job, each person is just given a certain task for them to perform. No one is to know what anyone else is doing. That is safer in case they are caught they can't tell what they know."

"Oh, I know now, you are with the Blades!" Eyja shouted.

"Shh! That is right, something like that. Now I must have your word that not a bit of what we discussed will be repeated to anyone at all, not even those working with us on this!" Vicente grabbed her arm again to make sure she realized how important that was to remember.

"You got it cutie! Now where is that dinner I heard you ordering for us? I could eat a horse! Or something else if you get my drift?" She cocked one eyebrow up and leered at him over her shoulder.

Vicente felt nausea rising in his stomach. "Since we have so much work to do on those plans, we must get started. We have very little time to accomplish these things. Do we have anything besides Shepherd's Pie to eat?"

"Oh, don't you worry! That is not the only thing I know how to make. I'll whip you up something you will love!"

***

"Here you go! My other specialty! Goat Herder's Pastry!" Eyja proudly placed the plate down in front of Vicente.

"Goat meat? Ugh." his stomach began revolting already from the smell coming off the concoction on the plate.

"Oh, don't worry. I couldn't find any goat meat. I made this with mutton."

"It looks just like the Shepherd's Pie." He said suspiciously.

"Well you just eat that, and you will taste the difference. My, you sure could use some loosening up, a little tumble would do you a world of good. Are you sure you?"

"Never! Absolutely NOT!" Vicente wasn't sure which would make him sicker, the thought of that or eating her cooking.

"All right cutie. Now let me show you what you need to fix on these plans of yours." She pulled them from a pocket in her dress.

"Ok, see this? That is all wrong. That wall you have there is all wrong too. Give me the quill and I will fix all these, and add in the secret tunnels and panels. You won't meet a single person along the way when I get done with these." Eyja scribbled out some walls and blacked out other areas, quickly drawing in long corridors and large X's.

"Okay, now all these X's are secret panels. This right here is where they will find the first secret panel that leads to this tunnel I drew over here. That goes straight into the Lord's Manor. Now cross out all this, this one is on the outside of the castle. It is the Count's emergency escape tunnel. There is a hatch under his?bed. If you crawl up the tunnel, you can come up in his room while he sleeps and just slither out. He won't wake up. He snores so loudly you could set off a cannon and no one in fifty feet would hear it." Eyja wrote lines and crossed them writing more, explaining where each tunnel went, and describing each secret panel.

"This looks confusing, we need to make all new maps so they will be easier to read, and write your instructions and a key on another parchment so the maps stay clear enough to read easily." Vicente looked at the scribbles on the pages, he was having trouble recognizing the areas he had actually been in.

"Oh leave that to me, I am an excellent artist." Eyja stated confidently. "If I say so myself." She added with obviously feigned humility.

"You must have spent an extraordinary amount of time in that castle! I already know about the tunnel from the jail cells, but it comes out in the dining room, which is risky. Is there a way to go from the jail to the Lord's Manor and avoid the dining room?"

"No, not from the jail. That is the only tunnel from there. Oh yeah! Me and the Countess go way back. She has told me some secrets you would not believe about the Count!"

"Okay, now you are going to go tomorrow and try and talk the Khajiit into sneaking out with you first. If she won't, you are going to ask the Countess if the girl can come help you fix up the manor, right? If they agree, you bring her right here and we will get her to safety together. If you bring her to me, you will be hired on a permanent basis." Vicente had a vision of sending Eyja to intercept the others so he could have some time alone in the manor with Maxical.

"Correcto! Yes Sir! Aye Aye Captain!" Eyja saluted Vicente.

Vicente gathered up the parchments. "What kind of secrets about the Count?"

"Oh, well? he has some?odd ideas in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. He likes to dress up like a?like in costumes and such." Eyja took the plans back from him. "I'll fix these up for you in a jiff!"

"Costumes? What kind of costumes?" Vicente was pleased at how thing were working out with Eyja, and thanked his stars that she was there yesterday to bump into him.

"Oh, well?like one time he dressed up like a? guard and pretended he was arresting her. Another time he?he dressed up like a?bandit and pretended he was holding her up. She has...caught him wearing...her blue velvet dress with black stockings and her high heels before; and using her rouge and lipstick. You know, stuff like that."

"She told you these things about her husband?" Vicente was shocked and disgusted at the same time.

"Oh yeah. Me and her are like this close!" Eyja held two fingers up and entwined them.

"Amazing!" Vicente said, shaking his head.


***

"Oh, so you prefer a little feline fun? A little tail with your tail? Whiskers for your whiskers? Furry?"

**DFOXY wipes the saliva and snot off his screen...AGAIN**

...and thinks...

"...Furry beaver for your cleaver???"

(I am referring to the animal, of course. If anyone should have any misguided lewd thoughts, the fault is purely MalX1's)

**DFOXY was struck by a handbag large enough to lose a 6 foot ...er...er...staff...in**

EDIT: Gourd for your sword?

And I reply: Leeks for your meat???


** NOTE: the above innuendo is as old as Shakespeare. One kudo to the first person who can identify which play and character that cums...er er...comes from!!!**

:read: This is very well done and great fun to read!

Your pov seems fine - completely inside Vincente's head, with no excursions. I know you change pov's a lot in your story and you have really hit your stride I think - I envy your flexibility!

Your use of dialogue to interestingly and effectively move this story is wonderful!

You have certainly brought Eyja to life. Methinks she doth fib regarding her intimacy with the courtly affairs of Skingrad?. Absolutely brilliant!
I can certainly foresee some hijinks and kinks ahead for Vincente's plan. <_<

I would love to see Lucien Lachance emerge, and have a very angry one-way conversation with Vincente for attempting to use the Night Mother's rescources for his personal gain! (Just kidding, lol)


Hmm? Do I note a trend regarding excessive capitalization? Do take a look and see if it is perhaps just me:
His stomach had not been right since he had been eating that Shepherd's Pie.
The Innkeeper will think you are trying to lay me down in her dining room.
Do we have anything besides Shepherd's Pie to eat?"
Here you go! My other specialty! Goat Herder's Pastry!"
It looks just like the Shepherd's Pie

I don't know what's more amusing... the banter between you guys or the blatant hints Eyja is dropping... :rofl:

YIKES! :bolt:



And here I was imagining Count Hassildor in a blue velvet gown with a side slit to the hip, heavy makeup, and thigh-highs held up by a black lace garter belt! I have got to get the Rocky Horror Picture Show outta my head!

What a post to wake up to this morning! Woke me up faster than a pot of coffee!!! :rofl:

Awesome, awesome, awesome! So much for Vicente's plans...

It's hard to pick out my favorite part in this piece. Eyja and the (incapacitated...) Countess being "this close"; the way she trails Vicente, and her frequent and unwelcomed advances...the way she can't take a hint...how much fun it's going to be when Vicente sends the entire Brotherhood on the wildest goose chase ever. Ahhh, pure joy!

Oh goodness, what insanity! It looks like Eyja has taken control of your keyboard now! Lots of fun!


One nitpick:

He snores so loudly you could set off dynamite and no one in fifty feet would hear it.
I do not think they have dynamite in the ES universe...

Eyja has quite an imagination, hasn't she?

Very good chapter, mALX! :trophy:

The way you create an image of Eyja leering up at him was absolutely spot on. More than that. It was fantastic. :goodjob:

The characters you describe really seem to take over your keyboard and I can imagine you just running with it.
That is a sign of a great writer. We, the audience, have got no idea what could happen next.
It makes a brilliantly fun read for all of us. :twirl:

I agree with the posts above. Apparently Eyja and the Countess have a lot of catching up to do.

I have an idea. Why not make Eyja (Aie-YAH!) have a boyfriend, recently unemployed...


...drum roll...


S.N.E.A.K.E.R.S!!!!


:rofl:

Oh no what have I done? What if they have CHILDREN???!!!???

Did you fire Sneakers? Gee, and right after Maxical made him learn some respect for her!! ROFL - and yeah, I think Sneakers would be running away - but I do miss Sneakers and Foxy, it sure would be nice to see them again...HINT HINT!!!


EDIT: Kiss Me Kate - The Taming of the Shrew

@ Acadian - Thank you so much, and you have given me some ideas to think about! You ROCK !!
***
@ RemkoNL - Yeah! Where have you gone RemkoNL - you have stopped posting your story and everything, I hope all is okay with you! You are always missed.. - oh wait, I know why you have been away, you are boning up for that...ARGH, I can't tell !!! Ok, I understand why you aren't on here that much then. But YOU ARE MISSED, and we wonder what RALES is doing !!!! Thank you so much RemkoNL, you are VERY appreciated!!
***
@ Hauteecole Rider - If you see your suggestion in the story now, you have only yourself to blame for bringing it up, lol. Thank you so much, you are def appreciated and now I will hound you to POST YOUR STORY !!! Lol.
***
@ Rachel the Breton - My fave is how she manages to be in the basemant when he "quietly slips out the door" - gets to his room, picks the lock on the door, the desk, decode, read, and be standing beside him when he goes to rent a room - and has the plans in her pocket later! She needs to be working for the Thieves Guild, lol. - and the fact that she is a really good pathological liar or Vicente is really dumb (or both) - it was so much fun to do these two chapters and the next one coming up. Eyja is fertile ground for comedy just by being herself, lol. Thank you so much Rachel !!! (and I can't wait to try and pick out your story in the FeyFolken again !!!) You are Awesome!
***
@ SubMinxa the RosaMinx of Minxdom - Thank you for catching that! - and yes, she has, lol. It all started so simply, I just needed a name, that was all - 2 chapters later she is taking over the DB, lol !!! You are the Minx of ROCK, and always appreciated !!!
***
@ Nieres - I always wondered how Gunder kept from killing her, lol. Thank you Nieres, it is so good to see you back, you have been missed, and I hope you feel much better now.
***
@ Zalphon - Thank you Zalphon, you are so appreciated!
***
@ Winter Wolf - Thank you so very much Winter Wolf, I hope you enjoyed the present I PM'd you with as a bribe for forgiveness over using the wolf's howl in relation to Eyja, lol. I had a lot of fun with it playing it for my puppy. Eyja isn't just taking over the keyboard, she may take over the whole DB, ROFL !!! Foxy PM'd me a suggestion of what I could do with her next, pretty funny stuff, lol. You ROCK Winter Wolf !!! And you are so very appreciated !!!

:rofl:

@mALX1:To be quite frank, I've had what one might call a writer's block. I am struggling to find a new angle to another investigation. I haven't been able to come with something interesting so I figured I'd put it aside for a few days. Still an avid reader though!

@ Destri Melarg - Thank you, Thank you Destri! The "Geez, how long does it take to open a desk - that one was my fave! I was left speechless by your last chapter, I hope no one missed it!! You are so appreciated, Destri !!

***

@ RemkoNL - Oh NO! (I had that over the holidays). Can you replay it, maybe some random thing will click? Or do a side quest? ARGH! I got burned out over the holidays, and couldn't write a thing for like two or three weeks, and I was feeling burned out the day I did chapter 50. Anyone else have any suggestions that have helped them?

I copied and posted my blather about writer's block over in the Writer's Plaza thread. Hope it will provide some help...

@ Treydog - I saw the comment you posted - Awesome advice Treydog! It is so good to see you on the forums, I thought I would have to spam you to death! I should not have asked a favor of you at a bad time, I apologize - but what you did for me was amazing, and so appreciated !!! You ROCK !!!





Chapter 61: Trouble In Skingrad


"Remember, first try to talk the girl into coming with you before alerting anyone that we are interested in her. We don't know who it is in the Lord's Manor that wants to harm her yet, but our investigation into that has to be secondary to rescuing her. You should only ask the Countess to borrow her services if we cannot talk the girl into leaving on her own. And you are not to mention this manor by name, if they ask say Rosethorn Hall." Vicente reiterated his instructions with Eyja.

"Bring her right here. Eyja, if you bring the girl to me today, I will not only hire you on a permanent basis, but give you an instant promotion to the position as my own personal assistant. You would have a permanent roof over your head in the best section of Cheydinhal, and not take orders from anyone but me." Vicente added as an incentive.

"I may need some bribe money to talk her into going with me." Eyja mused.

"Of course." Vicente was pleased with Eyja's quick thinking.

She had proved an invaluable asset with her quick mind for detail and the perfection of her maps and knowledge of the castle's secret passages and its inhabitants. Vicente handed her a couple small satchels of Septims.

"Geez, this isn't even enough for a tightwad's tip! You expect me to bribe her with less than a beggar could make in ten minutes?" Eyja asked scornfully, weighing the bags in the palm of her hand.

"You must be exaggerating! You don't think that will be enough? You said the girl is a servant." Vicente's suspicions were clearly indicated in his voice.

"You haven't done much bribing lately have you? She is working in the Lord's Manor of the castle, they are the highest paid staff in the County. I need to offer her enough that she will think it is worth leaving the castle for." Eyja glared at Vicente.

"You are right, I have been running things from within our organization; not out in the field in a long time. These details are usually left to the underlings. This bribe would have been a good one when I used to do the footwork." Vicente attempted to cover his tracks.

"When was that, 300 years ago? Even the beggars would laugh you off if you tried to bribe them with that." Eyja shook her head, holding her hand out.

Vicente choked. It actually had been 300 years or more ago since he had bribed anyone outside the sanctuary.

"Well how much do you think you will need to entice her to come with you?" Vicente felt it best to play it safe.

When she quoted a figure Vicente struggled within himself to bite back the shocked responses that flew to his mind, but he doled out what she asked, his lips pressed tightly together.

***

Vicente's pleasant dream involving himself as 'The Man' and Maxical falling into his arms begging him to share his dark gift came to a crashing end with the entrance of Ocheeva. She had flung open the door of the manor with a bang, and now stood over him with an angry look on her snout; nostrils flared, and the missive he had sent her clutched in her webbed hand. Vicente rose quickly from the bed, his mind disoriented and clinging somewhere between the last vision of him sinking his fangs into Maxical's neck and the angry lizard confronting him. He grabbed the pillow off the bed and held it in front of him.

"Don't bother with the pillow, you are a little late in your cover-up. Have you lost your mind? What do you mean by summoning me and the whole chapter this way. This better be good Valtieri! And where have you been the last couple months? Lucien has been very upset by your absence, and may be livid when he gets the message I sent him after receiving your letter."

Vicente blanched. "You? you wrote Lucien of this? Uh?well, this is a matter of utmost urgency, there was no time for protocol. One of our sisters is in grave danger! We must rescue her! I was?uh?ambushed by the ruffians that hold her prisoner. They have kidnapped her and hold her hostage. They mean her grave harm."

"Is this about that white Khajiit Vicente? The one you took forever and a day doing what you called 'personal training' with? I think you had better tell me what is really going on. If she is really in danger of course the Brotherhood will help her."

"She is! Believe me! She wrote me a letter asking for my help. The letter was from her hand. But she was abducted before I could reach her, and I was set upon by a battlemage and a gang of ruffians. I was injured greatly; beaten, stabbed, burned to a crisp by fire spells, and half eaten by conjured Daedra! I followed, bent on rescuing her in spite of my injuries?"

"If you are looking for a career in the theater, don't give up your day job. Now cut the drama and just tell me the truth. What is really going on?"

"I am telling you the truth. I followed her trail here to Skingrad. She is being held hostage in the castle by a gang of evil vampires. The castle is full of them, I have already been there scouting the situation out. I know exactly where she is being held, but can't rescue her on my own. I need the help of the family to rescue our sister, who's very life may be forfeit before we arrive if we do not hurry. I have taken the liberty of hiring on a girl who knows the ins and outs of the castle, all the secret passageways. She is well known there, and has offered to distract them for us."

"Are you talking about a siege on Castle Skingrad? You can't expect the Dark Brotherhood to stage an assault on the castle! And you hired someone, an outsider? Vicente, have you gone mad? Why would one of their friends want to help you? Or need I ask?" Ocheeva said, pointing a boney finger at the pillow Vicente still held.

He threw the pillow down on the bed. "Not a siege, a full scale stealth operation! With this girl I hired we have access to all the secret tunnels with which we can infiltrate the castle totally unseen, she has drawn intricate maps detailing these tunnels! Ocheeva, the danger to our sister is very real! You must believe me on that. The Count is a perverse idiot that has a nest of vampires on his closest staff, living right there in the Lord's Manor with him! The dolt knows naught of their existence or activities. They kidnap unsuspecting girls and hold them hostage under his very nose, in the man's private quarters! This girl helps because she is desperate for a job and a roof over her head. She has the knowledge of the castle, and it is for that I hired her, and that alone."

"You can't expose us all to a nest of vampires! And if she is in with them, what if they have already made her one? It won't be safe to bring her back to the sanctuary in that condition. Have you thought of that?" Ocheeva's piercing eyes were drilling into Vicente's.

"Yes, of course! I will only take Gogron gro-Bolmog into the Lord's Manor with me, the rest of you will only have to ensure no guards hinder my progress to it. I have the plans drawn up, you can see them for yourself. When we return with her, the rest of you can travel back to the sanctuary. I will keep her here till I am sure she is not a vampire, she cannot harm me. If she is a vampire, I can put her under a spell that will make her do my bidding so that she will harm no one in the sanctuary." Vicente wished he could put his cowl on without looking too obvious.

Ocheeva had started to turn away, but at this she spun quickly around, glaring deep into Vicente's eyes as if she tried to read his true intentions. Vicente tried not to shift his weight or glance away.

"What about this girl you 'hired', what are your plans for her afterward? She can't live if she knows about us." Ocheeva still looked piercingly into Vicente's eyes.

"She has no family, no where to live. No one will miss her if she disappears. But she is crucial to the success of this mission. She thinks we are working for the Blades." Vicente didn't really care if they killed Eyja after he got his hands on Maxical.

"The Blades! She must be dumber than a brick if she believes that!" Ocheeva exclaimed. "How can someone that stupid be reliable enough to be 'crucial to the success of the mission' as you put it?"

"I was able to convince her, she thinks me a gentleman." Vicente said, straightening his pants and vest that were rumpled from sleeping in them.

"It gets worse by your explanation, not better. Let me see these plans you have drawn up."

"Ocheeva, just one small matter. Is it possible that no one else but you know who we are rescuing? Antoinetta seems to have become obsessed over that Khajiit, and does not act rationally where she is involved." Vicente tried to sound concerned but uninvolved; failing miserably.

"She obviously is not the only one obsessed and acting irrationally." Ocheeva growled. "I won't see my sanctuary turned upside down because you can't keep your fangs in your mouth or your pants pulled up, whichever it is with you. You better think about how you are going to handle it before bringing that Khajiit back."

***

Eyja glided in late that evening without Maxical in tow. Vicente pulled her aside to find out what happened and remind her she was not to discuss any details of the mission with anyone else in the house.

"It was her day off, I searched all over Skingrad for her because they said she left the castle early, but couldn't find her anywhere. She must have been inside someone's residence. But I did talk to the Countess about borrowing her, and she said she could not let her leave at this time because?they are going away for a long trip and they? need her to?well, they are bringing all of their closest staff with them."

"We must move quickly then! It is one amongst that staff that is the danger! When did she say they will be leaving?" Vicente could not let Maxical leave with the retinue, he would never be able to talk Ocheeva into all of them chasing across the country. They must act fast!

"She?oh, she didn't say the day, she just said very soon." Eyja shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, that lizard lady said she wanted to talk to you right away after I?spoke to her. She sounded mad. Should I go tell her off?"

"NO! Better let me handle it. Go to the basemant and stay out of sight if possible." Vicente had a vision of standing on a high tower and feeling it crumbling beneath him.

******* Eyja?

Eyja left quickly before Vicente could ask for his bribe money back. She stood in the basemant scratching herself like a maniac till she heard some noise coming from the back room where the beds were. A large Orc was stripping off his armor by one of the beds.

"Hey big green, where did you come from? Say, isn't that girls underwear you have on? Here, let me help you with that armor."

"That belonged to my girlfriend Telaendril. She broke up with me. She didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face, just left me a note, knowing I can't read. I had to have someone else read it to me, so then everyone knew about it. She did that deliberately to embarrass me. Now everyone tells me she has been spreading stories that I killed a bunny rabbit by petting it too hard. So I started wearing her pants; you know, to get even with her."

"Oh, you poor dear! You must have loved her a great deal! If you really wanted to get even with her though, you should make her jealous with another woman. I'm Eyja, by the way. What is your name?"

"I'm Gogron gro-Bolmog. Make her jealous huh?" He got a half smile on his face for a second, but then frowned again. "I can't, women don't like me much."

"Well, I like you, and I will help you!" Eyja declared.

Later that evening both Eyja and Gogron gro-Bolmog were scratching themselves in fits, all the while smiling and overtly flirting with each other in front of Telaendril.



*

Professor mINX1 of Minxton University has returned with another class! Hilarious as always!


I loved this:
When was that, 300 years ago?
:facepalm:

And this:
"If you are looking for a career in the theater, don't give up your day job. Now cut the drama and just tell me the truth. What is really going on?"

mALX, first, to your previous comment -- yes, I loved that too! She's quite the amazing woman, that one. And regarding Feyfolken...you should consider entering! The deadline isn't until February 1st, I believe, so you would still have a decent amount of time to write a story! And I'd love to see your take on the story starter!!

And now for this chapter...amazing! Vicente is about to get some well-deserved butt-kicking, lizard-style; Eyja is (finally) able to get a new man/orc; etc. Ahhh, pure goodness!!! Keep it coming!

Ahh, time for some Frontline - or wait, maybe some http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/STDs/crabspubiclice.html? :flamethrower:

:rofl:

I always knew that Ocheeva is one smart chick!

And ditto to the above comments!

Hmmm... I wonder...

Excellent writing as always...and yet perhaps you are making Vincent just a little too comic opera? I don't think the readers will ever look at Vincent as Deadly again.

As for how Gromog and Eyja 'performed' in bed: the mind boggles. :blink: