Another fine story! Well written and rife with comedy. Well done, mALX. :goodjob:

Ditto.

Cheers mALX, Eyja is one of your finest creations. The scene between her and Gogron is laugh-out-loud funny (Orc lovin FTW!)! :hubbahubba:
It's amazing to me what you've mined out of a simple glitch in your game.

@ SubRosa the Dean of Minxy Minxing, University of Minxolia - Thank you so very much! Eyja is always fertile ground (Ew, we hope not) - but Ocheeva surprised me, she came across strongly when typing her parts - I liked her! I free - typed that whole chapter, you can probably tell, ROFL !!
***
@ Rachel the Breton - Thank you so much! (I did). Eyja may have more than one man, she wasn't itching when she left the house, lol. Hmmm, I wonder where she spent the day?
***
@ Hauteecole Rider - Thank you very much - the plague that will go down in the history of Skingrad and Cheydinhal as "The Eyja Incident" - ROFL !!!!
***

@ Foxy - Thank you very much Foxy! Vicente, like any great and powerful football team - plays better on his home field. Out in the world he is off his game a bit. Sorry, he may have lost something dealing with Eyja, but in a fight or angry he will still be a holy terror. By the way, I got some great new pics of Vicente on Maxical's Myspace that I posted yesterday!

RE: Gogron and Eyja - Nah, they aren't a couple. She is just....busy.

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much, I think I fixed the nits (that word takes on a whole new meaning with Eyja in the story) - EW !! I made myself sick saying that one!
***
@ Zalphon - Thank you so much Zalphon!
***
@ Destri Melarg - Thank you very much Destri! She is a short term actor, but may come back for cameos later, ROFL !!
***
@ EVERYONE - I have the flu, so my comment thanks may suffer, sorry!

* I hope everyone noticed that Hauteecole Rider has finally started posting her story - and it is AWESOME !!!

* I have never seen a week with more Awesome writes in other people's threads! Destri - WHEW! I am left speechless every time I read a new chapter!, SubRosa the Minx - AWESOME new plot line and characters - and the events coming up!, Treydog - I can see the threads of all those mysteries beginning to pull together suddenly, and it is FLOORING - Must read that last chapter everyone!, Rachel the Breton - AWESOME Twist!, Acadian - (you do not want to miss what is going on there, it is record breaking! You will be very surprised in the up-coming chapters, and I can't WAIT for them!)

* Also, Winter Wolf's character is doing a series of cameos on Acadian's threads - I can't say more, but it is killing me not to! Make sure you don't miss what is going on there!


*

Chapter 62: The Siege On Skingrad Castle



A loud argument erupted in the basemant ending in Eyja removing herself to the upstairs. Her plan to get Telaendril jealous had worked too well. In order to save her skin she had to flee, as Gogron was content to just sit back and watch Telaendril fight her. Tiptoeing up the steps to the third floor, she quietly opened the door to the first bedroom across from the stairwell. Both beds were taken, an Argonian slept in one, the other a Khajiit. She crept over to the Khajiit's bed and slid in under the covers.

"If it isn't the newest member of the family. Let's get one thing straight, the Tenets prevent me from killing you. But I don't have to like you." M'raaj-Dar growled.

"Telaendril was trying to kill me. She threw me out of the basemant, I have no where to sleep. Your fur is so warm and soft, can I stay here with you tonight? It is so cold, let me snuggle up against your fur to stay warm."

"Let's start over, shall we? I know from now on, you and I are going to be great friends!" M'raaj-Dar purred.




*** The next morning: Vicente

"Watch what you are doing, M'raaj-Dar! You nearly caused me to spill my coffee! Why are you scratching so much? Do you have fleas?" Vicente snapped, then muttered, "mangy" under his breath.

"My name is S'raaj-Dar now, and my fur is clean. It must be something they use to wash the sheets, I am itching all over." He growled, continuing his scratching.

Vicente quickly moved away from him and sat next to Telaendril till he noticed she was scratching as well. Grabbing his coffee and a sweetroll, he decided to visit Eyja and Gogron, who had been ordered not to leave the basemant, even for meals. The Orc because his noxious body odor would permeate the upstairs and taint everything; Eyja to keep her from talking to Antoinette.

As soon as Vicente rounded the corner from the basemant stairs he saw both Eyja and Gogron scratching like mad. He quickly spun around and headed right back up the stairs. Obviously Eyja had not cleaned the beds as she was hired to do, they all had fleas or bed bugs. Vicente decided to stay in his room so whatever was infesting the others would not jump onto him.

The mission would have to be done that night, as it was imperative to catch Maxical before the Count and Countess departed for their journey. Ocheeva had gone over the plans and was pleased with the work he and Eyja had done.

Everyone was given their specific tasks except Gogron, who was to pair with Vicente, and Antoinetta, who seemed to have taken a dislike to Eyja. Vicente felt it would be best to wait till the last minute to pair the two, so no discussions could take place between them.

The knowledge that this was being done over Maxical must be kept from Antoinetta. She and Eyja would be assigned to secure the castle courtyard; a decision he had been forced into because Eyja was only skilled with the bow, and Antoinetta could not be inside the castle when she found out this was all being done over Maxical. She would throw a fit and blow the whole mission. Based on skills it should have been Telaendril out in the courtyard with Eyja.

Vicente personally would handle getting Maxical out, and he could smell her position out once inside the Lord's Manor. Two teams of assassins would clear his path to it on the inside of the castle; one team being Teinaava and M'raaj-Dar, the other being Ocheeva and Telaendril.

The only one he would take with him inside the Lord's Manor itself would be Gogron, who he gave no instructions to at all. The sight and smell of that stinking Orc should frighten the Count and Countess into submission so they would release their guest into his hands readily enough.

No one but Ocheeva and Eyja knew the real nature of the mission, everyone else was given to understand that Vicente would personally handle the mark due to the nature of the target. All assumed he meant to kill the Count Skingrad. They were all ordered not to discuss the mission whatsoever with each other.




*** Eyja

While Vicente was holed up in his room with Ocheeva, Telaendril stormed into the basemant in a rage that Eyja was closeted in there with Gogron. She started a fight with Eyja who again fled upstairs. Not wanting Vicente to catch her out of the basemant, she crept up to the room she had spent the night in. M'raaj-Dar was not in, having been sent across the street to purchase Eyja a bow and some arrows. Teinaava was in, kicked back on his bed studying his set of plans for the mission.

"Ocheeva told me to find you and see if I could help you in any way." Eyja lied.

"This X is where I am supposed to enter the tunnel through a secret panel. Tell me, is there anything on the wall here; a plant, an urn, anything that will indicate I am at the right spot?" Teinaava asked, pointing to the map.

Eyja plopped down on the bed beside him and leaned in close to see which section of the map he had. Her arm brushed his leathery skin.

"I thought an Argonian would be scaly, but your skin feels smooth, like the softest leather!"




*** Ocheeva and Telaendril

The night was perfect for the raid, the sky so dark they could barely see each other as they pressed against the outer castle wall in their black leather armor. Eyja didn't own armor, so still wore her red blouse and skirt. Vicente whispered the order and they all cast chameleon onto themselves. Eyja and Antoinette were sent in first to secure the courtyard.

Following directly behind them was Ocheeva and Telaendril. Ocheeva kept stopping and listening.

"I hear a noise, like a rat scratching at a door, do you hear it?" she whispered to Telaendril.

"That is me, I have a fierce itching" Telaendril admitted.

"Well stop it, you are making enough noise to draw attention to us, invisible or not." Ocheeva hissed.

"I can't help it, it itches!"

Vicente and Gogron would be right behind them, they would be entering through the jail. M'raaj-Dar and Teinaava would bring up the rear as M'raaj-Dar was a mage and could fight from a distance if needed.

Ocheeva and Telaendril slipped into the lower entrance just as Vicente and Gogron slipped into the Jail.




*** M'raaj-Dar and Teinaava

M'raaj-Dar and Teinaava were both scratching heartily as they crept toward the main entrance of the castle.

"That tramp gave me her fleas." Teinaava whispered.

"Who?" M'raaj-Dar whispered back.

"Eyja. She gave me her fleas this afternoon." Teinaava hissed back.

"What are you talking about? She was confined to the basemant!" The gravel could now be heard in M'raaj-Dar's loud whisper.

"Telaendril ran her out of there. She came up to the room. What was I to do? She said she liked my soft leathery skin. You can have her, I don't need a case of fleas, if I wanted them I would get a dog, not just a girl who looks like a dog!" Teinaava was no longer whispering.

"Take that back before I make my next pair of boots out of you, you slimy?" M'raaj-Dar roared before Teinaava's fist made a lucky connection to where the sound was coming from.

"She said your barbs made her feel like a roasting rat. She had that half right, only a rat would soil its own?" Teinaava taunted before a fist to his mouth stopped him.

M'raaj-Dar lunged in the direction of the voice, knocking the unseen Teinaava to the ground. Half the punches thrown did not connect due to the chameleon enchantment, but some did, and the fight progressed. Roars, hisses, and curse words flew as they lit into where they thought the other was, leaping toward the sound of the other's voice. At one point M'raaj-Dar lunged and connected, throwing both of them tumbling down the steep cliff. They both lay bruised and scratching on the road, neither willing to continue the fight, but too sore to get up.




*** Eyja and Antoinetta

Eyja and Antoinetta made it into the courtyard without being seen. Eyja being the archer was supposed to go to the upper decking, while Antoinette handled the ground level. That was the way it was planned.

There were no guards on the ground level of the courtyard when they entered. Eyja began creeping up the steps and saw a guard rounding the corner. Her hands shaking, she tried to pull an arrow out and dropped it. She tried again. Pulling back her arm as far as she could she released the string with a loud twang, but the arrow dropped at her feet. Dropping the bow she ran and hid behind Antoinetta.

"I knew it, you are no archer! You lied just to get in with Vicente, didn't you! Tramp!"

"Vicente was after me, I just needed a place to stay. He was wanting to marry me, talking about chaperones because he lost control of himself and pounced on me in the bedroom when I brought him his meal."

With a shriek Antoinetta leapt on Eyja, knocking her down. She sat on her and tried several times to slap her hard in the face and kept missing because Eyja was invisible. She felt around till she found Eyja's hair and grabbed hold of it, pulling hard. Eyja screamed and tried to reach up and grab Antoinetta's hair. The only thing she could reach was her armor, and she pulled with all her might, tearing the buttons off so it hung open. Eyja caught Antoinetta's bra in her hands and pulled her forward with it, then grabbed her hair with her other hand, pulling hard on it. They both were shrieking at the top of their lungs, pulling each other's hair and trying to slap each other but kept missing.

Antoinetta cast a dispel over Eyja so she could see her to slap, but she leaned forward and was caught under the spell herself, so both girls became visible. At the point they were spotted, Antoinetta was still sitting on top of Eyja slapping her. Eyja had a good hold on Antoinetta's hair and would not release it. She kept pulling her head down and slapping her with her other hand. She lost her hold on the hair and reached for Antoinetta's bra again, yanking hard on it. The bra broke. Screaming, Antoinetta grabbed the front of Eyja's red blouse and ripped it so nothing was left but the collar around her neck and the back.

The upper deck was beginning to line up with guards yelling, "Cat fight! I'm betting on the blonde!" and "I'll take the brunette over that blonde anytime, she looks like a tough one!" Septims were changing hands. The mounted guard rode in on his circuit and heard the guards yelling, "Cat fight!" He stopped to watch.

The girls were standing up now, pulling each other's hair and spinning each other around.

"You keep your hands off him, he is mine! Tramp!" Antoinetta was shrieking.

"He didn't want to marry you, you were just convenient! Minx!" Eyja screamed back. "Besides, none of it matters now, when he found out I was seeing M'raaj-Dar, he decided to go after some white Khajiit. That is what he is doing in the castle now."

If Antoinetta was loud before, it was nothing compared to the shriek she let out at that news. "WHAAAAAT? THAT SON OF A?..AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!" She roared, letting go of Eyja. She staggered across the courtyard and began screaming over and over again in a rage.

Seeing the cat fight had come to an end, the guards made their way down to arrest the girls. Eyja was easy to catch, not knowing any magic; but Antoinetta cast a chameleon spell and vanished.




*** Eyja

"My what strong arms you have. I'll bet you could toss me up in the air with no problems. You wouldn't throw me into a nasty jail cell with my dress all torn like this, now would you? Maybe you could loan me one of your shirts to wear, is your barracks around here?"


*

Picture of Vicente:


http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/118/l_7d423101378b4a30ae0d2e36faf4abd4.jpg




*

"He didn't want to marry you, you were just convenient! Minx!"


:blink:

HOW DID SUB ROSA GET INTO THE CAT FIGHT...ER..

..er..

:rofl:

:rofl: x 1,000,000,000!!!

I had the same thought - CAT FIGHT! :chaos:

And how - not one but TWO!

Ah, man, funny stuff! Whoo! :rofl:

There goes the Dark Brotherhood . . . :shakehead:

At the risk of being risque,
may I interject a plot twist,
From the peril of a White [censored]
Desired by Vampires for nookie
Now arises a new Danger
A tramp that'll lay any stranger
and if you do you'll get the itch
O, HILARIOUS be Vincente's b - ...



:rofl:

Oh goodness, this is just insane! Invisible, hair and bra pulling women! Not to mention ones with scabies! Ewwww!

:lmao: Well, this was quite the fun romp to read! I like how you broke things up by jumping to the short interactions of many scene/pov changes; yet you kept a consistent theme, heavily laced with humor.

I can see the entire Dark Brotherhood will need to visit our own veterinary vixen for some serious flea treatment!

Moving your story along through comedy - well done! :goodjob:



These are the only two minor concerns I noticed in between chuckles:

"I thought an Argonian would feel scaly, but your skin feels smooth, like the softest leather!"
I know this is dialogue and you may choose to have Eyja talk this way, but just consider if perhaps you want to avoid the use of 'feel' twice in such close proximity?

"You keep your hand's {hands} off him, he is mine! Tramp!" Antoinetta was shrieking.

Oh...my...goodness! :rofl:

Farewell, Dark Brotherhood! Who would have thought it...all brought to ruin by one mildly annoying servant? Haha, I knew Edward's fears about the villainy of miscreant servants were all justified.

Nicely done. I like how you're able to move from humor to seriousness to humor again with this story!

Also, glad to hear that you entered the contest -- can't wait to read what you wrote!!

You have turned the Dark Brotherhood into the Keystone Cops! :lmao:

The Brotherhood should extend a formal invitation to Eyja. She just might be the most dangerous person in all of Tamriel!

Oh, my. What has happened to my beloved DB?
Vincente will hit the roof when he finds out the backup has failed. And Ocheeva will just hit everybody. :slap:

You mean hit on everybody...and I mean every body!!!

:rofl:

LOL - I do so like this version of Eyja. Flea-ridden, promiscuous, undiscriminating, avaricious, sly, untruthful - a true wench. The fight was very funny. Very entertaining, the Skingrad escapades.

*

@ Foxy - Thank you so much Foxy. Actually, I was trying to find words that wouldn't trigger the censor, lol - that just fit the bill. I was NOT referring to SubMinxia.

Loved your poems (both) !!!!

On your last comment - you may have a point there. It is a little known fact that was confirmed by my mod, but I did notice something prior to getting that. It seems Vicente has been quite active in that sanctuary...even Ocheeva has...succumbed to his charms. Before getting the mod, I caught her sleeping on his slab quite a bit. After the mod, I found that when the spell is cast - no matter where she is in the sanctuary - she runs to his slab, past her bed - even getting out of her bed to go to his slab - so yes Foxy, you nailed it!!!!


***
@ Hauteecole Rider - Thank you very much! Eyja def is a destructive influence, lol.

***
@ SubMinxia the Minx of Minxomania - I wonder if that is the current day term for what she has? Hmmm. ROFL - It will come out what it is, lol. Thank you so much SubMinxia! I appreciate you TONS!!!!!
***
@ Acadian - Fixed & Fixed - and Thank you a bunch for the help and the kind words !!!!!
***
@ Rachel the Other Minx - Thank you Rachel, very much! If I can make the Minxtress of Comedy laugh, that is something !!! You are very appreciated!!!!
***
@ Destri Melarg - ROFL !!! I think her brand of danger may preclude her joining, lol - Thank you Destri, and I am tickled by your choice of an Avatar and profile name = very fitting to your writing!!! You keep me immersed in Lore with your story, really feel like I've experienced each chapter, not just read it - Awesome !!! Thank you so much!!!
***
@ Winter Wolf - ARGH! Should I send you another vid to make up for this? ARGH!!!! I'm sorry, but I promise you all will fall back to normal (other than Vicente, who has other plans at this moment) - as soon as they get away from Eyja, lol. Thank you so much Winter Wolf, and I am so sorry this storyline is trampling on all you hold sacred - but at least I have not involved Bravil !!!!
***
@ Leydenne - Thank you so much Leydenne !!!!! I was surprised at how good she was at lying, she plays off other people without them realizing it to add realism to her lies! I think she fits the role pretty well, I have never seen her change her dress, and the one time I played a Redguard Male I was afraid to sleep there nights, ROFL!!

Skingrad - I have suddenly realized what a hotbed Skingrad really is. I blame Winter Wolf for pointing out the musical beds in the Skingrad Mages Guild, that is what drew me in, lol. Then there is Janus, who lets Maxical trespass any time she wants and just smiles at her like she is candy.

Leydenne...don't you think that Bethesda should do like GTA4 and have an advlt code we can put in that lets those old enough enjoy some different dialogue options with some of these NPC's, etc.? ROFL !!!!

*
@ EVERYONE - I did enter the FeyFolken thanks to Rachel and BurntSierra's mild pushing - I can't let anyone know which story is mine; therefore I can't enjoy the benefit of your critiques, lol. So it is probably a mess, but I hope you all read the entries and vote anyway - Rachel has a story in as well, so at least one story will be Awesome (I read her last two and was floored by them!) - plus if I am not mistaken B.Sparrow has been ressurected for this FeyFolken; I know we have all waited a long time for her to write for us again!! Go Black Sparrow !!! Yeah !!! - I can't wait to read the other stories, and I get a really in depth critique for entering, which will be AWESOME !!! My story has been turned in, and Darkom will probably ask me not to enter FeyFolken ever again since I have bugged him repeatedly to edit it.


*** DID EVERYONE SEE the screenshot of VICENTE I posted at the end of the last chapter? That is MY mod that I made myself making him look better !!!!!!! (My Stepford Husbands Mod)

I'm not quite sure how I missed this earlier, but...ROFL!! That poor cat...but at least Jauffre hasn't got his hands on it(s head)!!

:rofl:

Chapter 63: Vicente and Gogron




"What about my duties?" Gogron gro-Bolmog asked, noticing everyone else had a firm plan of action.

"Your mission is to follow me, and do what I tell you." Vicente ordered in the tone of a commanding officer.

Gogron's eyes narrowed into slits, but nevertheless he followed Vicente into the door leading to the dungeons. Vicente slipped the tipsy Jailor another 20 Septims to visit a prisoner. The greedy man grabbed the satchel off the desk and pocketed it, then grinned and winked at Vicente.

Vicente's nose curled at being enclosed in a small dungeon area with Gogron gro-Bolmog. The Orc reeked and it would be hard to smell where Maxical was with that lumbering ox by his side. Vicente had planned on the Orc's stench helping frighten the residents in the Lord's Manor, but hadn't thought about how it would affect himself till now. The cretin was pathologically incapable of sneaking as well.

The odor seemed to take on a life of its own when they reached the back wall of the dungeon. Vicente looked up to see the Orc had his arm raised up and was propping himself against the wall on it. "Put your arm down man! I have to survive this mission. Save that stench of yours for the Count and Countess, it is them you want to frighten!"

Grinning, Gogron gro-Bolmog lowered his arm quickly and with force, blowing a draft of the putrid odor into Vicente's face.

"I don't care much for water." Gogron gro-Bolmog said in a voice so loud Vicente wondered if he was deliberately trying to sabotage the mission.

Pulling down on the candelabra produced no movement of the back wall. Vicente tugged again, still nothing. He had not made any plans for if his secret passage was locked from the other side!

Stepping back so as not to be within the range of the Orc's body odor, Vicente waved him over to the candelabra. "Something is wrong with it, it won't open. You take a try at it."

Gogron gro-Bolmog stepped up to the delicate looking candelabra and grabbed it with his meaty fist. Giving a hard yank on it produced a loud snapping sound. He turned around with the broken false candles in his hand, showing them to Vicente.

"You idiot! You broke it! Now how are we to get into the secret passage?"

Gogron gro-Bolmog looked at Vicente blankly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Look, that back wall opens, use some of your strength for something other than filling this hallway with body odor and take the wall down!" Vicente was beginning to get exasperated. He needed Gogron gro-Bolmog to frighten the Count and Countess in the Lord's Manor, but wished he had planned to just meet him there at this point.

The wall would not budge, and was obviously sealed from the other side. The efforts to move it had caused Gogron gro-Bolmog to break into a heavy sweat, and each run at the door produced a malodorous breeze to swirl around Vicente who was becoming lightheaded from the stench. Heading back out to the Jailor's desk Vicente began toying with a satchel of Septims in front of the tipsy man.

"Say, my good man; how would you like to earn some extra money doing a small favor for me?" Vicente dangled the satchel by two fingers and swung it back and forth so the Septims would jingle loudly.

The jailor's eyes gleamed and he licked his lips, nodding and reaching his hand out toward the satchel.

Vicente drew his hand back slightly so the Jailor could not get the satchel till he agreed.

"That back wall passage in the dungeon seems to be locked from the other side. Do you think you could slip around through the wine cellar and pull the lever from that side for me?"

"Uh, I'm not supposed to leave my post, it would cost you extra for that." He eyed the satchel as if suddenly it was too small for his taste.

Vicente pulled another out, placing the two together on his palm and bouncing them up and down so the man could hear the tinkling of Septims.

"Would this help relieve your mind some then?" He asked.

The Jailor squinted at the sound. "I could lose my job here, ya' know. I gots me a family to feed too, ya know."

Vicente reached in his pack and pulled out another satchel. "Come good man, I thought we were becoming friends." He said, jingling the three bags together. "It's not like you have anything to guard in there, there are no prisoners."

"Well, okay. I'll do it. Payment in advance, as usual." The Jailor reached his hand out. It was sweaty and dirty, so Vicente just dropped the satchels into it instead of shaking his hand.

The Jailor pocketed them and sat down.

"What are you doing, man? I just paid you to do me a favor!" Vicente said, his voice showing irritation.

"You did? Can you tell me what it was? I have problems with my memory you know, head injury in the war."

"You aren't old enough to have been in any war! I just asked you to go open that lever in the Wine Cellar for me so I can?"

The Jailor had his hand out. "I think I may recall what you said, it might help my memory a bit if you could re-enact the whole thing over again for me."

"I don't have time for this, why don't you just tell me what you require to do this one small favor for me!" Irritation was showing strongly in Vicente's voice now.

"Well, lets see. Leaving my post, risking my job, risking my family going hungry, remembering what you sent me to do?how does 100 Septims sound to you?"

"A hundred Septims? Are you crazed man? That is robbery! You need to do your job standing by the roads like a bandit, it would be more honest!"

The jailor just sat with his hand out. Vicente reached in his pack and kept pulling out Septims and laying them on the desk. Each disappeared into the Jailor's pocket as he lay them down. Vicente had lost count and finally stopped. The Jailor stood up and stretched.

"Thanky kindly Gov'ner. I'll just go do what you said now." He waddled out the front door with his pockets bulging.

Vicente hurried down into the dungeon again and waited by the back wall. Gogron gro-Bolmog followed, shaking his head. He propped himself up against the wall while they waited. "Lower your arm, man!" Vicente snapped.

***

The jailor stepped out onto the decking and descended the stairs into the courtyard just in time to see the mounted guard coming through the front gate of the castle. He called to him and waved, hopping down the remaining steps to hail him.

"Howdy stranger, how's your shift going today?" The Jailor grinned up at the mounted guard.

"Samo-samo. How about you? Oh hey, aren't you supposed to be on vacation? I heard you and the little lady were taking off today for a couple weeks in Anvil, what are you doing working when you could be enjoying the sunny shores?"

"I'm not, I just stopped in to drop off my keys for the fill-in. You keep a tight eye on all our prisoners while I'm gone, ya' hear?" The jailor laughed up at the mounted.

"I may take over your job while you are gone, I could never afford to take my family to the waterfront. He must pay you a lot better than we mounted get, you lucky dog!"

"Nah, he don't. Visitors just likes to drop in and slide me a gift every now and then. Well, I best get on now, you have a good one!" The Jailor waved and headed out the Castle gate.

The mounted guard shook his head and waved back, then turned his horse back to patrol the outside again, following the Jailor across the bridge.

***

Vicente didn't know how long he had waited before he realized the Jailor was not opening the lever to let him into the Wine Cellar; but every minute of it seemed an eternity with Gogron gro-Bolmog's body odor filling the enclosed hallway.

When the realization hit him he hurried back out to the desk to demand his money back and found a big burly guard on duty there instead of the man he had dealt with before.

"Where is the fellow that was just here, I wished to speak with him once again." Vicente asked the big man.

"He's gone and won't be back. How did you get in here anyway? Are you a trespasser? Maybe I need to find out what you have been doing skulking around down there. "Guards!" He shouted.

Somehow Antoinetta had failed him, because two burly guards appeared instantly and pushed both himself and Gogron gro-Bolmog into a tiny cell together. There was only one mat on the floor, and Gogron gro-Bolmog instantly availed himself of it.

"You may as well relax, the brothers and sisters will come for us, eventually." Gogron gro-Bolmog said, raising his arms up above his head and clasping his neck in a relaxed pose.

"Put your damn arms down, cretin! Dear Gods, what could possibly have gone wrong?" Vicente choked out, stunned.

***

LOL! That's an awesome write!! Sadly, I had to work with someone at school with cleanliness habits like Gogron gro-Bolmog's...so I almost sympathize with Vicente.

I think the part that really stood out to me was:



I don't know if this was the best -- it was all so good -- but it was not what I expected, and absolutely hillarious in addition!!

Great write, as always!

An idea has just occurred to me
Since my imagination's running free
Since the Orc Stinks and the .. beech has fleas...
...why not punish the rotter, then, please?

O Rachel, migrate these two characters to your plot
And punish Edward, that snivelling bundle of snot
By jamming his face in the armpit of the Orc
While Eyja does at the other end of the rot -

Then he'll wake up with a stink so purtrid
And an itch so itchy that not even Cupid
with a direct hit from arrow can make anyone love him
And the Entire Blades will take one sniff and rough him!!!

OMG!!!

Phew! I'm thinking oh, anol glands, bloody diarrhea, and reeking cat bite abscesses all rolled into one! :chaos:

For those who are wondering - these are the three stinkiest things we encounter working with animals.

Oh, let's throw in a dead, rotting fetus for good measure. :shocking:

I believe you have described Gogron gro-Bolmog to a "t" - he probably reeks so much even Eyja's itchy friends couldn't stay on him for long! :rofl:

This is one time when a vampire's heightened senses are a drawback :rofl:

Nicely done again!

This chapter is smoothly written and continues to advance things in a logical manner.

Much of the story was told through dialogue - and very effectively. Great job.

As always, I admire your willingness to change perspectives, and your success at doing so.

Hilarious as ever. I will never be able to look at the Dark Brotherhood the same again!

This line was especially priceless!
"A hundred Septims? Are you crazed man? That is robbery! You need to do your job standing by the roads like a bandit, it would be more honest!"

Yes indeed -- that was a favorite of mine as well!