You were right, Melisande really has taken a hold on your keyboard!

Once more I really liked her blunt statement of fact:
"Your emotional outbursts are nothing more than your own desire to sop your guilt. Whether we return this child to life or not, you have still killed an innocent. The stain on your soul for that will never be removed from you, do you realize that?" Still her eyes ravaged his as if his cowl was not even on.

You really did do your lore homework to dredge up Murkwood. I had to wiki it to find it was from Arena! I liked your description of it, especially this: like breaking open a rotting body. Now that really jumps out at the reader! oo:

I also liked Janus' uncertainty at facing real combat. The way you have been portraying him has often seemed very uber. Seeing this very human nervousness brings him back down to a level where it is possible to relate to him once more.


Only one real nit to pick:

This sounds too much like a game mechanic, and not something a person would naturally say:
but only up to about twenty percent.

Imagine instead how someone might describe the protection a bullet-proof vest gives.

Maybe something like:
"It will stop an apprentice's lightning bolt, but not a master's."
or to keep it simple:
but only to a certain degree.

A brilliant turn to the story. Murkwood. Wow !!!!

With Alix leading the way, whiskers twitching, and Janus protecting Melisande's old backside from the rear. :lmao:

I cant wait to see how this turns out.

Very nice! Plenty of character development here:

Melesande - Quite the unintimidatable one. I like her.

Janus - Hmm. . . seems once out of his castle, the old vampire is a paper tiger.

Alix - YES! He fearlessly charges into whoever's pocket is going to find his precious mistress, ignoring danger. MY HERO! Your depictions of his mouse behavior are incredible!

GREAT WORK!

ROFL !!!! I couldn't stop laughing at that description, ROFL !! Winter Wolf you are Awesome !!!! Thank you so much !!!


***


@ Acadian - Melisande has taken over my keyboard. I can't shut her up! It gets worse, lol.

RE: Janus - He may be old, but this is still his first combat experience other than when he was attacked as a youth - that is understandable. However, I agree he has wimped up since he killed Maxical. I think part of that is just the fact that he used his powers against a young girl he loved and now she lays dead; part of it is that he has been surrounded by servants for 50 years - yes men. Melisande is not afraid of him, and will get in his face - no one has ever done that before. If he gets all angry at her for it, she could walk out and not bring Maxical back. For once in his life he has met a force greater than himself. She is going to point out some things to him that no one else would ever dare to.

Thank you so much Acadian!


***

@ Zalphon - Thank you so much Zalphon! It tickles me that you are reading Maxical's story now!


*

The tension between Melisande and Janus is first-rate. You identified the reason quite clearly above- she speaks her mind (and the truth) to him.

And Alix begins to show he is more than an ordinary (bloated, giant, antlered) mouse. Even with the humor, there is a quite poignant undercurrent- love can overcome even death.

The project we discussed is in progress- should have something by the end of the week- I hope that is soon enough.

I think you're going to have to get used to the idea that Melisande is here to stay. I can already see her as Maxical's new teacher of the magic arts! :nuke:

Ahh.. the cowl isn't part of Janus' cloak?
Murkwood? Never heard of that in TES. It sounds familiar though.
Again; nice work! Alix the tracker..

@ Treydog - Thank you so much! When I was trying to decide which way to go with the story I wrote a couple chapters following each storyline (Maxical was dead in one, the whole was a dream in the other) - just free-typed.

The first thing that emerged in the free typing was Melisande's personality, she has been amazing to write for! In game I have had trouble keeping her in one spot, she keeps disappearing and I have to find her, lol. I hate to shut down her AI, but may have to if I want any screenshots of her.

I dropped some years off her to hide the wrinkles, then changed her hairstyle; it may have gone to her head, lol.

Love transcending death/beasts/mechanics - my favorite theme in movies/books, lol. :

Reincarnate= "Chances Are" type where they find their lover through the barriers of age, distance, time, etc.

Beasts = "Cat People" (only the Nastasja Kinski version) where he falls in love with her in spite of the fact that she turns into a black leopard every time they mate;

Mechanics = David, where the robot falls in love with his human mother and goes through H to have one last day with her.

:) Does your last sentence mean what it sounds like it means? ??? If so, YIPEE!! And I won't need it for at least one month in human time (as opposed to story time/game time, lol).

Thank you so much again Treydog!!!

***

@ Destri Melarg - Or maybe to teach her to aim, lol. Thank you very much Destri! I've wondered myself about that. She is a very strong character, and will be needed later if there are any...residual effects from all this. I def see her in the storyline for a while. Thank you so much Destri, you were so missed while you were gone, and you left us all hanging with that cliffhanger before you went on vacation! lol.

***

@ RemkoNL - Thank you so much! Rona ripped the cowl from the cloak in the flashback on Janus in the last thread. Janus has been wearing the cowl only the whole time Maxical was with him, in chapter 50 he wore the cloak for the first time. Murkwood is from Arena, the first Elder Scrolls game. I had to research where lost souls went in Lore, and found Murkwood.

This change in the story has caused me to dig into the Lore more deeply than I ever have before, looking for specifics. I thought I knew all the lore, but have found some things in there I didn't know anything about - some of which will be included in the storyline.

Thank you again RemkoNL, and your story has stepped up so much the last few chapters I certainly hope no one is missing it!


***************



Chapter 54: Murkwood!



Janus's action saved them from walking right into a pair of Medusa. Melisande lit into them with fire spells, catching the pair before they spotted the intruders. When one of them circled, Janus jumped between it and her and took the brunt of the spells while slashing it with his sword. He had no form or style with the sword, but his strength brought an effective end to the attack.

"You may have saved our lives with your exceptional hearing, Janus. I was startled when you grabbed me, but would not have seen them had you not acted. We are lucky that Alix has led us to the north, for the Fire Daemon are found more in the south of this maze of forest." Melisande whispered.

The Medusa attacks increased as they made their way further into the murky blackness of the forest. The maze created by the hedgerows moved and shifted at their approach, hindering progress; and the blackened trees would come to life as they neared, waving as if luring them into a trap of their making. Each step brought the roots to life and their slithering unnerved Janus, fearing at any moment they would encircle his leg and drag him under the filthy bog that reeked of decomposing matter.

Janus's hearing had become acute from his tension, and he was able to distinguish the slight breaths of the Medusa above the groaning of the trees and the moans and cries for help that were still well ahead of them. Each time he detected the sound of a hesitant breath he was able to put Melisande on her guard before the Medusa felt their presence.

Memories of moves he had learned in combat training began slowly returning as he watched Melisande's instinctive use of them; and his confidence grew with each battle until the Fire Daemon found them.

Janus heard it coming, felt the vibrations from it long before he thought it was close enough to detect them. Each footfall sounded like a low thunder in his ears and produced a ripple in the black bogwater. From the heavy sound he pictured a large Ogre or Minotaur, so was not prepared for the sight that met his eyes when he spotted the Fire Daemon.

It was gigantic, a dragon of massive proportions and blew a blackened film from charred nostrils that were large enough to hide an Ogre easily. Its mouth was partially opened displaying rows of jagged teeth, each tooth easily the size of himself.

Janus immediately grabbed Melisande on the shoulder, but the beast saw the movement and honed in on him instantly. It emitted a blast of fire that hit him before he could move. He let out a horrible scream as fire seared through him, burning with a terrible intensity that was increased even further by the weakness to fire that came with his vampirism.

For a few seconds he was helpless from the pain, and in those seconds his fangs extended and his eyes began to glow. The vampire emerged fully in an instant because of the pain, and he lunged at the beast with a terrible snarling sound, screaming for its blood. He dropped his sword and leapt on the creature with his bare hands, ripping and clawing it; then tearing into its flesh with his fangs.


***


Janus's cowl fell back in the viciousness of the attack, and Melisande got to see what was probably Maxical's last vision. It was horrifying.

Melisande was stunned by the difference between the gentle man of a few seconds before and the bloodthirsty beast that now tackled the enormous Fire Daemon. Pulling herself together she helped him kill it, picking up the sword he had dropped as he went at the giant Daedroth-like beast with his bare hands.

When it lay dead Melisande stood silently by, waiting to see if the attack would then turn onto herself. She had a fireball loaded and ready.

He looked frightening, like a mad demon. His eyes glowed with an eerie light; his fangs protruded from his mouth, dripping blood and flesh from where he had chewed into the creature. His sleeves were soaked red, and his hands looked like bloody claws, with pieces of the Fire Daemon still clinging to them.

He was visibly struggling to gain control back from the vampire. Melisande had backed away to run if needed, but saw he was beginning to succeed in the fight against his other nature.

"I am sorry you had to see that, it was the pain. Severe pain can bring it out before I can fight it. I would not hurt you, the fireball is not necessary." Janus was not fully back to himself yet.

Melisande stopped him when he started to continue forward, shaking her head no. "You cannot search for her soul like that. Wait until you are fully yourself again. I will not let her see that again. From the look frozen on her face I am positive that is what she saw before she died. If there is a chance of her ever seeing it again, I will stop the search right here and now. Alix is frightened as well, he is shaking like a leaf. You must find a way to ensure you never allow that to happen in her presence, and I hope to never see it again myself. You truly are two very different people within yourself, and I wonder if it is safe to revive her knowing she will be with you after this. You lost control once with her, what is to say it won't happen again?"

"If she is no longer a virgin, the vampire will go away. Only rage or pain will bring it out, and she could never hurt me, it is not in her."

"So you plan to deflower her as your method of controlling yourself? And what of the pain she may cause if she leaves you? Or the rage she may cause if she chooses another over you? I find I may be having second thoughts about helping you."

"She loves me. There is no other. She lived with me for months, I read her thoughts. She thought of me exclusively. And she dropped a heavy mallet on my foot which was excruciating, the vampire never emerged that I could not control till she was bleeding, and ran to me hugging me. That is how her blood got on my cloak. I think it was the surprise. She had been invisible, and I could smell her strongly, but the vampire had not emerged. When she ran up and hugged me, her invisibility spell was dispelled, and I saw the blood so close while smelling it. Still I fought it while she begged me to heal her. I could not do that, not the way my powers call for me to heal her. It would have put her blood in my face, caused me to touch it. I fought healing her quite a while, then suddenly I was overwhelmed and could fight no more."

"But you could have jumped on your horse and left, sending a healer to her before you returned. You chose to stay there knowing it was tempting the vampire."

"I should have left, you are right. She even told me to and I didn't. I have no excuse that would explain why I stayed when I knew I was a danger to her. I was a fool, and will never put her in danger again. But she loves me and I love her. It is not a deflowering, but a consummation of our love that I seek. And that will send the vampire away, she will never have to worry again. I have not sought to put a love spell on her, which I could have. Her feelings are genuine, not brought on by my powers."

"Why do you seek only your blood in her veins?"

"Because I am an Immortal. It is the only way to ensure she not die after the reanimation. Whole or not, she will live forever until that blood supply is completely replaced. By that time, I hope she will have accepted my gift. I am here for an eternity, I could not face it without her."

"Does she know this? Has she agreed to eternal life?"

"No. She knows nothing of my vampire nature."

"She may remember it, the last time she saw you. She may have a memory that comes with her resurrection."

"NO! I cannot let her remember that horror! I must be allowed to erase it from her memory as you bring the life back into her. You will let me do that, will you not?"

Melisande hesitated. "Only for her sake would I allow it. Not to protect you from her memories."

"I understand, and I agree for whatever reason, as long as you allow me to erase that. Please do not bring her back with that in her memory."

Melisande looked hard into his eyes, as if searching their red depths for an answer. "We can start off again, you should replace your cowl before we do." She said finally, as if ending the discussion.

***


They began to come across the souls of the lost in the forest, anguished crying and pleading for direction. Janus was becoming ill from the thought that Maxical roamed in this stinking place that was more a hell than anything he had ever imagined. He wanted to scream Maxical's name and bring her to them that they need not keep wading past the despair and rotting filth of the place.

Suddenly Alix popped his head out and began squeaking loudly. Melisande plucked him out of her pocket instantly, holding him to her lips and telling him to hush before he brought a beast down on them. Alix pointed with his nose, and Melisande began heading in that direction but didn't have far to go before they found the soul of Maxical.

She leaned against one of the trees, no more than a watery slip of silver with confusion and sadness emanating from her. Melisande had never met her but knew instantly it was she, just as Janus and Alix recognized what they felt coming from that silvery shape.

Melisande pocketed Alix and held Janus back from running toward Maxical, silencing him with her hand over his mouth when he would have called out the name. She reached inside the small leather pouch and pulled out the large black soul gem and quickly cast a soul trap spell. The silvery shape disappeared, and the gem filled up with a smoky pattern that moved within its glistening depths.

Melisande gently placed the gem back in the leather pouch and tied it tightly shut, then placed it back against her heart with the greatest of care. Her heart felt a fluttering as the sack with the soul gem touched the skin under it, surprising Melisande. Nothing like that had ever happened before. She placed her hands over her briast and cradled the sack that lay inside her bra, feeling its warmth through the leather and through her dress; overtaken by the odd sensation of it being a child in her womb, the first subtle sensations of a quickening of life within her, yet the soul gem was still, and the sensation was her own heart responding to it. A protective feeling suddenly surged within her toward the girl who she had come to resurrect. She eyed Janus to see if any of her emotions had played out on her face, but he was staring at the spot Maxical's soul had disappeared from, confused by its disappearance.

"Come Janus, it is time to leave. Take both my hands that we may get out of this place."

Melisande had to force her hands to release the briast cushioning Maxical's soul in order to take Janus's hands.

"But where did she go? She was here a second ago, then just disappeared."

"Hush before you bring more monsters down upon us. Just take my hands." Melisande grabbed Janus's hands and began chanting.


***


The trees spun in an ugly kaleidoscope of blacks and grays, the heavy mist of stench still filling his nostrils even after the visions of the forest faded and he found himself standing in front of the cell once again with Traven staring through the bars at him.

Traven was demanding to know what was going on, and Janus was demanding to know where Maxical had disappeared to and why they left without her.

Melisande ignored them both; handing Alix over to the bodyguard and saying, "I want Alix placed in the room Janus has had made up for me."

Janus spun around. "No, I need Alix till Maxical is back, he must stay with me! I cannot take that room alone, without him."

"I need him to assist me with Maxical. He has been an invaluable help so far to me. You will have to do without him if you want me to perform this correctly." Melisande's voice remained soft and quiet, but the implication could not have been more clear.

Janus folded. "I will drink then, for I cannot be without them both and keep my sanity."

"You cannot drink, Janus. We need your blood to be rich." Traven's voice cut across the room like a whip. "Pull yourself together for Maxical's sake, we none of us would be having to do this but for your weakness."

Melisande stepped back, eyeing the cowl to see if rage would bring the vampire out, but instead his shoulders slumped.

"Do as you will then, and I won't drink. Please just hurry, for the delay and loneliness are driving me to madness."

"There will be no time for that, for we must away for Maxical's dagger." Melisande reminded him. "It is well night now, you should be safe for the trip."

***


*

Speaking of "stepping up" OMG! So did you lass!
Loved it although I didn't understand the reference to the dagger in the last sentence.

This was pure enjoyment to read. :read: The content of the story was fascinating. I very much enjoyed how you took your time to portray so much about Janus and Melisande (and much more) via the rich dialogue between them.

Your portrayal of Janus in this story is MAGNIFICENT. The terrifying power of an ancient immortal vampire shines through, contrasted by his need to seek comfort for self-doubts and anxiety via the presence of a mouse - or in a bottle of wine. The man's vulnerabilities and struggle to deal with the deeds and power of the beast within. He is perfect in this story!

Now, Janus, Alix and Melisande all stand out as fabulously living, breathing characters that I can identify with and care deeply for. We just need to get our girl Maxical back among the living and breathing. :dance:

Speaking of Maxical, I thought you presented and handled her spirit extremely well.

I enjoyed the way you described how Melisande transported them back to Skingrad, replete with Janus' swirling disorientation.

The dagger, yes. How much you have to 'refresh' your readers on small details from previous stories (without holding our hands too much) is a tough call. Although I remember the dagger as an important object of Maxical's that Melisande needs for her rituals, I think you were wise to edit in the touch of clarification that you did for us in response to Remko's comment.

This story is mALX at her best! To think we could have missed out on all this yummy goodness if you had not 'killed' Maxical. I am so glad I just happily trusted the masterful, mALXiful plotweaver when she surprised us all with this fascinating turn.

An interesting and exciting trip to the Underworld! I was half-expecting to see the ghost of Achilles beckoning from the far shore...

In spite of Melisande taking over your keyboard, you showed us quite a bit about Janus in this chapter. I do not mean the feral vampire side of him either. The way he plans to have six with Maxical and have her live with him for eternity, and never stops to even wonder what she wants, shows that his feelings for her are really little different than those of Fathis. She is a thing for him to possess. An object. Not a person who has their own needs, desires, and will. The main difference between him and Fathis is that where Fathis wants the momentary conquest to salve his ego, Janus wants the enternal conquest to salve his loneliness. Everything about both of them is all "Me, me, me!" Deep under all the bluster and posturing, he is a man of clay. I like that, because it paints him as a real person, with real vulnerabilities in spite of all the power that his immortality brings him.



I found a lot of nits this time. The entire scene in Murkwood seemed kind of rushed, like you were trying to get through it as quickly as possible. These are the things that stand out:

The maze created by the hedgerow moved and shifted at their approach
I think you wanted hedgerows there?


You are head-hopping with the point of view. You start with
Melisande was surprised. Janus had saved her from walking right into a pair of Medusa. indicating that we are seeing things from Melisande's pov.

But then go to this:
Janus's hearing had become acute from his tension, and he was able to distinguish the slight breaths of the Medusa above the groaning of the trees and the moans and cries for help that were still well ahead of them.
so now we are going to Janus' pov

then still later we are back in Melisande's head:
Melisande got to see what was probably Maxical's last vision. It was horrifying.

You need to pick one pov and stay with it the entire scene. Or stop the scene completely, put in a *** divider, and then start new scene from the other person's pov.



You described the Fire Daemon as a dinosaur. That gives us an idea of what it looks like, but I do not think Tamriel has/had dinosaurs. So it sounds odd in the context. Perhaps say looked like a dragon? Or call it a great behemoth?


This is a really long sentence, and some words change tense within it. There is also a great deal of telling at the end. How does Melisande know that the man is struggling for control?
Although his fangs still protruded from his mouth dripping blood from where he had chewed into the beast; and his eyes still glowed with that eerie light, the man was struggling to gain control back from the vampire.

Perhaps you could break it up a bit, like this:
His fangs still protruded from his mouth, which dripped with the dark blood of the beast. His eyes blazed with eerie light, and Melisande wondered who would emerge from that terrible glow. Would it be Janus the man, or the ravening monster she had just witnessed tear the Fire Daemon to shreds?


You described Murkwood as a hell. Yet there is no hell in the ES universe. Perhaps call it an Oblivion?

I like the changing pov; for me, it adds a sense of urgency and confusion, something likely for the living who find themselves in Murkwood.

Well.

mALX1, I just knew I had to read your fan fic after reading all your wonderful comments on other threads, especially Buffy's and Teresa's (oh, and Angel, and . . .). But the fact that it was up to FOUR threads and growing was a little intimidating at first . . .

Well, last night was very slooow at work, so I took the plunge and started with your first chapter. I read through the first thread (up to around chapter 24) before knocking off for the night. I picked it up this morning after I got home and had breakfast (need glucose for all that reading).

So, after smiling, laughing (Chapter 3, the part where Fathis becomes the laughingstock of the Market District, the various little tidbits scattered through out the threads), crying (the Grey Prince, oh how did you know that's just how I felt the first time I played it? It broke my heart to grant him his last wish - I wanted to go back in time and refuse to go to Crowhaven for him!), and now, for the past couple of hours, holding my breath, first through the battle with the Bandits outside Anvil, and more recently, the scenes with Hassildor. Do you know that though I hate vampires (I'm so sick of them being everywhere in pop culture, along with werewolves - c'mon now enough!), Janus Hassildor is one of my favorites of the "secondary" characters in the game?

I will be watching this thread for upcoming chapters. I thoroughly love Maxical! Now I see why Acadian is always saying such wonderful things about her (and your writing, too).

The more time I spend on this forum, the more impressed I'm becoming, not just with the quality of the writing in the few threads I've read and followed so far, but also in the wonderful support and encouragement between everyone who posts and participates on each other's threads. I'm sure the Moderators do a great job keeping the riff raff off the forum, but beyond that, I'm happy to see the kind of people who are on this forum (and most of the regulars over on Cheats and Spoilers, the other Oblivion forum where I spend a lot of time).

I wanted to take the time to send a shout out, not only to you mALX1, but to Acadian, SubRosa, Treydog, bobg, D. Foxy (thanks for your primer on weapons and combat - it will be heavily used in my writing), and to everyone who has commented on each other's fiction. Not only am I inspired by the writing on see on these threads, the criticism and feedback relating to these stories have also been wonderfully helpful and educative.

Back to Maxical, mALX1, some time in the future I'd like to share with you what I know about cats and feline behavior, that you might find useful. But I'll only post if you are interested. It is my line of work, after all . . .

More of this wonderful albino feline! Please! :dance:

A delightful chapter. The dialogue between Melisande and Janus absolutely carried the story. Damn that was good. :thumbsup:
I liked the addition of the black soul gem into the story. Such a simple and convenient way to keep the chapter moving.

I also enjoyed the 'lost' way you portrayed Janus, such as -

Ha, ha. This boy has got no idea. Just like most of us men really. Me, Me, ME !!!


:rofl:

I can't say it any better than this! Thank you SubRosa. And thank you mALX for raising the bar of characterization once again! :goodjob:

@ RemkoNL - Thank you so much! That means a lot to hear! The dagger was mentioned in the chapter before, the witch needed something that meant a lot to Maxical, something she had touched. (in order to perform her ritual to bring Maxical back to life).

***

@ Acadian - Thank you so very much! Wow, it isn't often I get a fully pro review from you, I kept looking for the words, "Just a little nit pic" - just teasing! Just so everyone knows, Acadian PM'd me a list of errors, lol !!!! Acadian you are appreciated so much, you have no idea!!

***

@ SubRosa - Thank you so much, your help is invaluable in shaping the story up so it is palatable! You nailed exactly how I was trying to portray Janus, if he could sing you would hear "mememe" coming from his suite. Hopefully Melisande can make some positive changes, if she can't it won't be for lack of trying!

Hopefully I got the POV problems fixed, plus fixed everything else (except the hell, actually that is Lore, and I left it in.) You are AWESOME SubRosa, and so appreciated !!!!!

***

@ Nieres - Thank you very much Nieres! What you said is exactly the feeling I was trying to get across when writing this: urgency, confusion. I wondered if it was a legitimate way to do it if I were to italicize the POV changes so it would flow in scene, rather than re-do the scene over again from each POV or keep breaking it up with asterisks.

Normally I don't mind the asterisks - but on scenes like this where it is melee there has to be a less intrusive way, otherwise there would be asterisks every paragraph. The re-write I did to fix the point of view took away the head-hopping, I hope you still get that urgency and atmosphere of confusion because that is what I was trying to get across.

Nieres, I certainly hope you are feeling better. I am so sorry that hit you at such a bad time! I hope the way the story is going now is a little better for you. You ROCK !!!!

***

Hauteecole Rider - Thank you so much! The fact that you tackled the four threads means the world to me! I have already PM'd you on this, but will say it on here as well - I would be very interested in learning more about feline behavior! My main experience comes from feral cats, which tend to behave more like a pride than the domesticated felines do. I am very interested in hearing more about this!

What you said is exactly what I have felt since I have been on this (FanFiction) forum - it is definitely a supportive community. The writers that know the rules, proper grammar and punctuation, etc. - freely give advice and assistance to those that don't (like me) - it is invaluable to someone like me to have this help. (As you have probably noticed from reading through the story). Any improvements you see in my writing can be directly attributed to the help of these Awesome people on this forum that have stuck by me and kept after me to do it right. Those of us (like me) who don't have the knowledge to correct error just lend our support and encouragement to the other writers.

I have been in Awe of the amount of talent on this forum, the creative imaginations that abound here. There are so many extremely high caliber writers on this forum that have talent and abilities far beyond my writing that on several occasions after reading their works I have felt embarrassed that I post my on the same forum with writing that great - yet they are gracious enough to read my story anyway.

As you probably noticed through-out my story, great writers on this forum have been kind enough to lend their characters (or themselves, and also their artistic talents) for cameos and have actually co-written storylines, or even cross-thread storylines into their own stories. You just could not ask for a nicer community, or more support than you will find on this forum!

Thank you again, so much for taking the time to read the story from the beginning, and thank you even more for enjoying it!!

***

@ Winter Wolf - Thank you so much Winter Wolf!! ROFL - yes, isolation for over 50 years with only books to educate himself has not left Janus with a real knowledge of how things work out in the "real world" - I believe Melisande will give him a well rounded education before it is all over. You had me rolling with your comment! You ROCK !!

***

@ Destri Melarg - Thank you very much! SubRosa nailed everything I was trying to put out there, I am so glad it came across the way I hoped it would!!!

Chapter 55: Of Necromancers and Vampires


Melisande caught Janus's attention and motioned with her head that they leave the crypt.

"We need a few more things, but these are things we cannot retrieve ourselves." she said quietly as she sank down into the bodyguard's chair. Janus sealed the door behind them.

"Why the secrecy?" Janus's voice sounded suspicious.

"You don't trust many people, do you? The reason we can't talk in front of Hannibal is because of the nature of the items we need. I will have to call on a Daedric God to procure these, and they are the tools of a necromancer, a great enemy of Traven himself. But we cannot move forward without them."

"Necromancy! I refuse to be involved in it!"

"Are you a total numskull? What do you think the raising of the dead is? You have asked me here to perform necromancy to bring this child to life. Traven thinks it is a medical procedure at this point. He has no clue the extent of the path required to perform this. I already scanned those 'tomes' of his, they are child's play. Those texts would never bring the girl back. But if Traven realizes what we are about, he could prosecute me. That is if he will live when this task is over. What are your plans for him and the girl, by the way?"

"I haven't thought that far yet. I am no murd?" Janus saw her eyes glittering and changed his answer halfway through. "I will not kill them. Polus knows Traven left the Arcane on my horse and with my staff member. The Chapel knows Marie was brought here by my personal assistant. I can always say I sent for them over Rona and that they met and began a torrid affair, which from all I have heard from my bodyguard is not far from the truth."

"Well, you idiot! You have placed them in a freezing crypt and given them not a single blanket! You are lucky they found each other pleasing, or they would have succumbed from the cold already!"

Janus's head spun around. "I?I don't feel the cold like a normal person would. I never realized. What should I do? If they are not contained they will escape, and I cannot put fire in there for them because of Maxical. I can give them blankets and a better mattress." Janus's voice was genuinely distraught. He had not realized what he was putting them through.

"You are lucky that Traven was able to perform, otherwise you would be responsible for three deaths." Melisande said with a sarcastic tone, although it was clear she was serious.

"All this time I thought they were just?frolicking." Janus sounded stunned.

In spite of her dislike of Janus, Melisande found that amusing. "Have you always been this clueless? What did Maxical ever see in you?" She taunted, not wanting to give in to the amusemant.

"I have been isolated for decades. I have nothing to do but think of myself, and have fallen out of the habit of thinking of others. I don't know what she saw in me, but we are alike in that one way. She has been raised to think of nothing but her own needs, horribly spoiled. Alix is the first thing she has devoted herself to, and as you see she overindulged him terribly. Just as she was overindulged growing up. Traven used to rant and rave about her whenever we would speak. She nearly destroyed the Arcane University, just thoughtless pranks. Not harmless pranks, but thoughtless." Janus thought back on the first day he met Maxical.

"Like what kind of pranks?" Melisande was intrigued.

"Oh, she caused Raminus Polus to soil himself in the night, she turned Daedra loose on the campus. She nearly caused Irlav Jarol to have a stroke with all she did to him."

"Jarol? I dislike him." Melisande said to encourage Janus to keep talking.

"Who doesn't? She covered his head in boot blacking till he looked like a tar-baby. She filled his bed chamber with hundreds of watermelons so he couldn't go to bed. She blasted his robe to the top of the Arch Mages tower using a spell that shattered all the windows. And wait till you hear what she did to Traven! She stole a horse and placed it on that teleporter in the Arch Mage towers then activated it. She got it all the way up to Traven's bedroom while he slept. The horse was so frightened it released its bowels in Traven's bedroom. Traven leaped up, slipping in it. Before they could remove the horse it ate his best blanket. She is brilliant in destruction, but can't aim to save her life. She put as many fellow students in the Chapel for healing from her spell casting as she did with the bow, and the Arcane forced her to drop the Archery class. Traven said she had an Archery trainer before coming to the Arcane that was quite injured as well. Her last act before Traven found a way to graduate her early was to blow up the lawns, some huge destruction spell she got her hands on."

"That was her? I saw the damages. It looks beautiful now, Traven must have paid a pretty penny to fix it."

"The Arcane didn't pay for the repairs. She had a benefactor, a guardian. He paid for all damages she created the whole time she was there, and from what Traven said he encouraged her in her pranks. Traven said he was never more relieved in his life than when she graduated; yet in spite of all the trouble she caused, he liked her."

"How did you meet her?"

"How closely do you follow the Black Horse Courier?"

"I pick up back copies when I get out and about. They Courier does not deliver out where I live. Why, has she been in the paper? Oh wait, Alix is the giant mouse that terrorized Skingrad?"

"That is only half the story. Remember that prison break in the Imperial City? The whole prison over-run with rodents?"

"She did that?" Melisande had been leaned back in the bodyguard's chair, but at that she sat up and stared at the cowl.

Janus nodded, then fighting back tears he began to choke and cough.

Melisande stared at Janus for an extended minute and then stood up.

"If you are going to use your wife as an excuse, let us take care of that business now. Once Maxical is brought back to life, we will not have time to deal with it in caring for her. You do realize that if your wife is alive only because of the vampirism, that once it is cured she could die?"

"Yes, Traven informed me of that when all this first happened. I am not going to act like it won't affect me, I know it will. But I have been alone for 50 years now, isolated. I am prepared within myself for any outcome."

"You mean you have prepared yourself for in case she dies. Have you prepared yourself for if she lives? And what of Maxical then?"

"I have come to that decision months ago. I plan to petition Uriel Septim for a divorce. Melisande, I loved Rona so much when we were married, and for that first year. We were attacked on our first wedding anniversary. After that, she was a stranger. She was vicious and violent to me and cruel to the staff, dangerous. She said she was sickened by the sight of me and forced me to wear this cowl. Maxical begged me to remove it, but I?feared the same reaction from her. I dread the day she sees me for the first time, yet crave it at the same time. How I would love to take it off forever."

"She has really never seen you? Why have you never told her you were a vampire? Didn't you think it was something she should know before becoming attached?"

"I wanted to be sure of her love before telling her. It is not something you just tell someone when you first meet them. After I began developing feelings for her, I just kept thinking of Rona's words. The thought of hearing them from Maxical?"

"Do you know how she feels about vampires in general?"

"She kills them. Rona made one before going into the coma. It was living right there in the crypt. The day I met Maxical she had found it and killed it. That is how I learned Rona was not immortal, because the one she made by blood was able to be killed. Maxical thought the Jailor was responsible for it being hidden in the castle because he knew about it. She killed others too, a whole fort full of them somewhere. She hates vampires."

"Well why were you stupid enough to fall in love with someone that hates vampires, knowing you are one?"

"Because she was falling in love with me; without a spell placed on her, knowing I was a lot older than her, and in spite of never seeing my face she was falling in love with me. She said she could be with me for eternity and never grow weary of it. She is not one to love lightly. I planned to tell her once I was sure she loved me."

Melisande stared at Janus for a minute, and then seemed to come to a decision.

"Let's do it then. Will we need the bodyguard with us?"

"No, her duenna, what you would call a nanny has remained by her side all these years caring for her. She acted as a ladies maid till Rona became ill, and has been her nurse since."

"Well she will be too old to be much help, maybe we should bring the bodyguard just in case."

"Oh no, she is perfectly capable of helping. I don't know how old she is, but she looks very?capable."

"I will get the potion and some supplies in case she recovers. Open the vat for me please."


***


Melisande prepared Janus as they walked to the crypt in the outer wall where his wife resided.

"Okay, now I will revive her. I want her duenna to give her the potion. In case she reacts violently I want you by, but stay out of her sight. Wear the cowl if you don't mind, just in case. Have you thought about any words you would like to say to her when she wakes?"

"No. Only to apologize for not being able to protect her from all this. If she lives I won't tell her about wanting a divorce until I have found out if I can get one. But I will live separately from her, of that I am certain. What I felt for Rona was burned out by her cruelty to me and the years of being alone. If worse comes to worse I will step down as the Count that I may live with Maxical. I plan to purchase Rona an estate of her own. I no longer have the desire to live as man and wife with her, not after all these years; not after meeting Maxical."

"Well, let us see which you will have to do then." Melisande said as they entered the crypt.

It was fairly well lit and warm, very clean. Melisande took charge as soon as she saw the layout.

"Janus, stand there and be prepared to grab her should she be violent or turn into a full vampire. Senora, please, if you would give this to your lady? I will waken her." Melisande carefully wrapped both the duenna's hands around the bottle of vampire cure.

When the spell was cast, Janus saw Rona rise. He thought he was prepared to grab her, but found himself rooted to the spot as if watching a play enacted before him. The duenna gave her the drink.

As the potion went through her it left a trail of wrinkled skin that seemed to turn to a thin blue paper full of lines and ridges instantly. With the vampirism keeping her look youthful all these years, the removal of it allowed her true age to show through. Her brown hair crinkled up into a mass of grey fuzz that dropped off her head in clumps, wafting slowly down to creep across the floor as if a gentle breeze blew in the room, yet the air was stiflingly still. The duenna began to scream as a few teeth fell out bloodlessly, as if the veins and muscles that surrounded and held them had turned to powder.

Janus felt himself backing away rather than consciously moving. The thin blue film turned almost to a paste and began to wither into an ashy flaking of sloughing skin that looked like a blue snow storm floating off her and mingling with the fuzzy gobs of hair beneath Rona, creating an ever widening pattern around her. He felt his stomach surging into his throat and was bent over hurling it up as the skeleton began to emerge through the swirling flakes and an odor billowed across the room of rotting flesh. She seemed to be decomposing before his eyes. Her eyes drooped and sagged in the sockets, then slowly seemed to collapse into pools of thick liquid that oozed and spilled over, painting the chalky bones of the skeleton with an oily trail.

A loud hiss filled the air as the skeleton crumbled up into a dusty pile on the floor. The stench was overwhelming.

Janus felt someone grab his arm and pull him toward the crypt door. He staggered along, retching the whole way. When he reached the outside he collapsed onto the ground and continued vomiting, tears running down his face from the strong surges rolling his stomach to his throat in waves. He could feel someone yanking on his arm but could not see who it was.

"Get up, you must lock the crypt, hurry!" It was Melisande's voice.

"Why? What is the point?" Janus gasped out.

"The duenna, she is a vampire. Seal the vault NOW Janus! You must seal her in there!"

Whoa! Those vampire hunters were right! Skingrad is INFESTED with vampires!

That is quite a surprising ending right there, ugh!

And your description of Rona's transformation is incredibly detailed, ugh! :yuck:

I liked this chapter. It is a refreshing pause, a break in the fast pace of recent events, that gives the reader time to reflect on what has happened, and what is coming ahead. I especially liked the little recap of Maxical's madcap escapades at the Arcane University!

This line of Janus' was excellent, I think it probably deserves an exclamation point too!
It is not something you just tell someone when you first meet them.
Lets face it, being a vampire does not just come up in idle conversation...


Only one nit to pick:
This looks a little odd:
You realize if your wife is alive only because of the vampirism that once it is cured she will die?"

Perhaps you meant this:
You realize if your wife is alive only because of the vampirism, and once it is cured she will die?"

This was very enjoyable to read - from beginning to end - quite a neat story. :goodjob:

I agree with our equestrian friend above, that your detailed description of Rona's transformation was spellbindingly vivid - MAGNIFICENTLY DONE!

"I haven't thought that far yet. I am no murd?I will not kill them." Janus saw her eyes glittering and changed his answer halfway through.
Although this works, you do not explain the break in sentence until after the fact, so naturally I go back to the first part of the sentence again causing a tiny break in my flow of reading. I believe it is purely a style choice; however, have you ever considered playing around with something like this?
"I haven't thought that far yet. I am no murd-" Janus saw her eyes glittering and changed his answer halfway through. "-I will not kill them."

'Janus head spun around.' I think you want Janus' here (or Janus's if you insist).

Your writing is magnificent. I sense no awkward passages at all now. Dialogue , pacing, description.
Wow!! And combined with the wonderful art of story twists that you you always present, I have to give a :trophy:

I realize that Acadian and SubRosa always clean things up a bit before the version that I read, but the trophy is still well earned.

Congrats.

I love the concept of Necromancy and Traven happening together.
Bring it on. :twirl:

mALX1, I had intended to read the whole story before commenting. But I can't. It's too good -- just too darn good to wait!! Although, I do have one gripe...I spent wayyyyyyyy too much time earlier today when I was supposed to be working reading up to where I am (about half way through the third thread).

This story is excellent. As I say, I'm not done, so my impression of characters are at their present state, but you've written everything so well that I can feel strongly for and against the characters (I love her parents, I want to plant my boot firmly in Fathis' behind, I miss the Grey Prince, I feel sorry for Janus but I'm not sure that I like him [at this point, at least], I hope they finish Vicente off, and I hope she marries the Nord [can't spell his name, LOL] ). And I LOVE Maxical! She is hilarious! Ok, full disclosure here...she reminds me of my cat, Zima, who is the single most mischievous cat I ever met (which reminds me of her and her antics at the Arcane University, LOL)...except Maxical is actually nice. She's awesome!

And allow me to say, though I know it's been said before, how much better your writing has gotten. Your work was good to start with and has become great. I have been anxiously awaiting finishing up the stuff I had to work on tonight so I could come back and continue my read.

Anyway, I'm going to get back to reading...but I had to say how good this is. I love your depictions...your characters are very good, and believable. And you've done a very good job at portraying the pangs of different versions of first love (for Maxical and the Nord) -- which is not always easy to do right. And your writing is so versatile...you can go from deep and dark to hilarious in a second, and not lose us for an instant in the transition. Very, very well done. Alright, I'm going to shut up and get back to reading now. Thanks for such an enjoyable read!!!


EDIT: Ok, I'm done now. And I have one thing to say: MORE!!!!!!!! This really is an awesome story, and I eagerly await future installments!! Thank you for writing this -- what a treat it's been! Now, please have mercy and provide us with a new installment.

Nice twist at the end there - well done, because I did not see that little tidbit coming. The story continues to pull us in, and I am eagerly waiting to see how you write your character out of this situation. Well done, as usual.