I can not look at an npc and hear them talk, i have to look to the left or right of them.

it gets to be a pain, when you are trying to hear commands.

i can not hear my character talk either when talking to npc.

this is with head phones on

Is it cos its too soft?

volume low?? no i dont think so.

its like I have to aim my character ears at the npc to hear them

I have to enable loudness equalization to get the correct volume level like all the other Bethesdas' games.

I recommend enabling Loudness Equalization anyway. It just makes for a better listening experience no matter what you are doing on the computer.

http://www.trishtech.com/2015/06/how-to-enable-sound-loudness-equalization-in-windows-8-1/