I'm a programmer by trade, and I'm glad the community there isn't stuck in the same ditch as here, or things would never get anywhere. And I don't think anyone here can claim they've used more time on Oblivion mods than the thousands upon thousands of great open source projects out there.
Most open-source code is still paid for, one way or another. People are directly paid to code, paid for what they do
with the code, or even just "paid" with college credit. There are very few true volunteers. Here,
everyone is a volunteer by contractual obligation.
And believe it or not, once you get past textures and models and basic item edits, Oblivion modding is terribly difficult and time-consuming. The engine is labyrinthine, full of undocumented and counter-intuitive quirks which cause subtle but often disastrous consequences. It works against you more often than it works with you. It's not like a real programming environment, where it's good enough to ship as long as your interfaces work right and you don't leak memory or crash. (More like patching components onto a live circuit board for which you have no schematic, if I were to reach for a comparison.)
Honestly, I think the answer to the constant question, "Why do Oblivion modders have this attitude when other communities don't?" is simply that we're modding Oblivion while other communities aren't. You're comparing store-bought apples with blackberries which have to be hand-picked from deep within thorny brambles that also have poison oak growing through them. At the user's end, both make a delicious pie. Behind the scenes, one is orders of magnitude less pleasant and more costly to produce. Forgive us for becoming surly if, after we hand out free slices, you complain about having to wash your own fork.
Would I allow my mods to be used in a compilation? Yes, if the proprietor agreed to take full responsibility for technical support arising from compilation users, and (importantly) if I trusted said proprietor's actual ability to do so. Of all the people who have proposed compilations through the years, there has been exactly one who I thought could handle it in a
completely generic sense -- making sure the combined mods have no inherent conflicts between each other. And in the specific case of my own mods? I can think of maybe two dozen people who know the engine well enough to have the slightest clue what's going on if a bug crops up. Notably, none of those people is making a compilation.
I really don't get why so many modders have to take this extremely elitist view where everyone has to suffer through lots and lots of hours to get their mod working correctly so that they deserve to play it.
Elitist? Well, I feel no need to deny the fact that I'm one of a very small group of people crazy and stubborn enough to spend much of the past five years staring at the engine. (And I don't even pretend that I'm among the top 10 experts.) But holding that against me is like getting angry at your dentist for saying, sorry, that tooth has to come out. It's not like he wants to tell you that. There's nothing in it for him, not even money -- root canols cost more than extractions. But he's got years of experience with this subject, and he really is trying to help you.
Oblivion mods are not simply additive with one another; they conflict, both directly and through undesired interaction. Even if there were a compilation where everything was internally smoothed out and made perfect, adding one outside mod could destroy it. You have to learn Bash not because we say so, not because we want you to suffer like we did, but because resolving those conflicts is
completely specific to your load order... and Bash is the
easy, streamlined, automated fix tool. (And even it can't help with script interactions, but that's another topic.)