I saw Hieronimus Lex and a guard asking each other a few times in a row "have you seen Armand Christophe?". The funniest npc for me was the "foul smelling ape" Khajiit who wanted to be friends all of a sudden .

Ah, yes, the "Have you seen Armande Christophe" choir arrangement. One of the great choral pieces of Cyrodiil.

And you never know when one of those mud crabs is going to throw a curse....

Listening to Lord Rugdumph in Fighter Guild's Quest "The Noble's Daughter" :lmao:

So I take my wood-elf Alchemist to Vilverin, figuring the one thing she really needs to start leveling up is a good dungeon crawl.

She takes out the archer bandit and starts looking around for the other one. What she sees is something that appears to be flapping in the air like a bat. It isn't an imp, and there are no mods in my current game that include anything like bats.

Sneaking up on the thing it turns out to be -- a slaughterfish. Flopping through the air at eye level right in front of the entrance to Vilverin. It continues to flop while I'm trying to remember how to take a screenshot, until the missing bandit runs up, yells something at it, takes it out and preceeds to start beating on me. I'm almost laughing too hard to fight back.

I wish I'd been able to take a video of that. I've seen fish and dreugh on land in Morrowind, but never in Oblivion.

Alright, this just broke my immersion but it was still funny as hell. This was before I used a plethora of mods so everything...even the AI was vanilla. ANTICS WILL NOW START!

I walked along the Niben bay, awed at the game as I first got it. At that time, I was playing as a sort of pacifist thief for the fun of it. The goal was to never kill any people during a break in. Creatures were ok. So I did get caught and I ran. A passing by Imperial Legion horseman runs to me and I resist arrest obviously. He attacks me, I run into the water.

He gets on his horse and paddles slowly before being attacked by Slaughterfish....yeah...is there a reason why you didn't chase me BY SWIMMING instead of getting on the slowest animal? Anyways, I didn't kill him, the slaughterfish killed him and the horse was just left stranded in the middle of the bay...I think it still was.

Haha, I love threads like this. I used to write all my funny moments down when I still played the game a lot. XD Gotta love the AI sometimes... some of my favourites:

Somewhere on the street, an Orc decides he doesn’t like the way this nearby Wood Elf is looking at him and starts hacking down on him with his axe. Guards rush in to help the poor Wood Elf but the Orc manages to kill him before he is slaughtered himself. One of the guards kneels down next to the body of the Orc to examine it and says; “He’s dead. May he rest in peace.” And exactly at that moment a High Elf woman walks by and makes the *SNIFF* sound.
Guard: Indeed! D:
--
I’m on my way to the city of Kvatch and come across this guard on a horse.
Guard: Well met =D
Wolf: *sneaks out of the bushes and attacks*
Guard: *jumps off his horse and starts hacking away at the wolf* WHY WON’T YOU DIE?! DX
Wolf: *dies*
Guard: This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death! D:
Wolf: *long dead*
Guard: *jumps back on his horse like nothing happened* Good day! =D
--
Khajiit: Hello, how are you?
Argonian: Great. How are you?
Khajiit: I’ve felt better…
Argonian: HOORAY! =D
--
I had just finished the quest with the drunk Cliffracer guy in Cheydinhall. You know that in the end a guard kills him.
Guard: By the nine Divines! D: *checks wrist of drunk guy he just killed* He’s dead. May he- *suddenly stands up and continues walking like nothing happened. He sees me standing* Good day! =D *continues walking. 5 seconds later* May he rest in peace! =D
Me: :blink:
--
Orc: What do you want?
Argonian: My good friend! I have not seen you in so long! I could burst with happiness!
Orc: Really?
Argonian: No.
--
Argonian: Fellow magister. I need to talk to you about a subject of utmost importance.
Magister: Go on.
Argonian: Bye.
--
Maro Rufus: Hello!
Agarmir: Eh?
Maro Rufus: Any news from the other provinces?
Agarmir: Eh?
Maro Rufus: Well yes, I suppose you should.
Agarmir: Eh?
Maro Rufus: I ran into a mudcrab the other day.
Agarmir: Eh?
Maro Rufus: You too!
Agarmir: Eh?
--
NPC to sleeping beggar: STOP TALKING!
--
Bandit versus mudcrab:
Bandit: I fought MUDCRABS more fearsome than you! D:
--
Lex: Have you seen Armand Christophe?
Guard: No.
*2 seconds of silence*
Guard: Have you seen Armand Christophe?
Lex: No.
*both look at me, and say in perfect unison* Have you seen Armand Christophe?
Me: *dies laughing*
--
Me: *walking somewhere in Chorrol**spots a Khajiit walking towards a Nord* Ha! They’re going to have a conversation! I AM TEH LISTEN! *runs to them*
Khajiit: Hello!
Nord: Hi!
Khajiit: Great!
Nord: Great!
Khajiit: Great!
Nord: Great!
Khajiit: Great!
Nord: Great!
Khajiit: Goodbye!
Nord: Bye!
Me: … wtf was that?!
--
NPC1: I’ve been meaning to speak with you.
NPC2: What is it?
NPC1: Farewell! =D
NPC2: Goodbye! =D
--
Breton Lady: I see you! Hello!
Imperial Dude: *snort*
Breton Lady: I’ve heard others say the same.
--
Mythic Dawn agent1: I heard some cult called the Mythic Dawn is behind the Emperor’s assassination!
Mythic Dawn agent2: If I get my hands on one of them I will wring their neck!
Mythic Dawn agent1: Absolutely!
Mythic Dawn agent2: Greet the new day, brother.
Mythic Dawn agent1: Goodbye!
--
I killed Glarthir a couple of in-game months ago, and his body is still lying in front of the Skingrad Chapel. So I have business in the Chapel and when I step outside, this guard comes running up and stops next to the very dead body of Glarthir.
Guard: *kneels next to Glarthir* Sir, are you alright? D:
Glarthir: *dead*
Guard: *runs around* SOMEONE’S BEEN MURDERED! D:
Me: *LMAO*
--
Aldos Othran: *singing* FLYYYING, FLYING IN THE SKYYYY~
Ulrich Zealand: I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you!
Aldos Othran: CLIFF-RACERS~
Ulrich Zealand: I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you!
Aldos Othran: FLYING SO~
Ulrich Zealand: I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you!
Aldos Othran: HIIIIIIIIGH~
Ulrich Zealand: I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you!
Aldos Othran: IT’S FLYYYYING~
Ulrich Zealand: I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you!
--
This was a result of conflicting mods. Two Imperial archers are shooting each other outside of Bruma
Imperial Archer1: Feeding time is over, vampire! D:
Imperial Archer2: *in a female voice even though he’s a guy* Guards! Guards! Help! D:
Imperial Archer1: DIE! D:
Imperial Archer2: *puts bow away* Stop talking! D:
Imperial Archer1: WHY WON’T YOU DIE?! D:
Imperial Archer2: Stop criminal! D: *pulls out bow again and shoots Imperial Archer1*
Imperial Archer1: *dies*
Imperial Archer2: *kneels down next to Imperial Archer1’s body* Are you okay? D:
Me: *walks by*
Imperial Archer2: DIE CRIMINAL! D: *attacks*
Me: OMG! What did I do? ;-;
--
In Olav’s Tap and Tack in Bruma~
Ongar to Olav: I don’t understand why Ongar spends so much time at Olav’s Tap and Tack
--
Imperial guard to a bear: You should have just paid the fine! D:
--
NPC1: Did you hear? Kvatch has been destroyed by Daedra!
NPC2: Great!
NPC1: I agree!
--
Me: *sneaks into a random house in the Imperial City Talos Plaza, to kill the owner to get into the Dark Brotherhood*
Owner: *doesn’t notice I’m there*
Me: *pulls out bow and shoots the lady through her head*
Owner: There’s no need for violence!! D: *runs up the stairs*
Me: But I like violence XD *shoots another arrow which hits the lady in her back*
Owner: *dies*
Me: *walks upstairs, steps over the owner’s body and enters the private chambers**starts throwing everything off the shelves for fun* =D!
Guard: *suddenly magically appears in the room* Trouble? =D *doesn’t notice there’s a dead body behind him*
Me: ARGH! 0____0 *runs away* I didn’t do anything! It wasn’t meeeeeeeee! DX
Guard: *shouting after me* Good day! =D
--

Oh Oblivion AI... how I love you.

I heard this conversation between an Altmer and a Chorrol Guard -

Guard: How are you?
Altmer: I'm doing well.
Guard: That's too bad.

So there I was, slashing my way with Captain Burd and his men through the Bruma gate. I entered the main citadel and struggled against two Dremoras and a scamp. The bloody battle was fierce and left one of my men dead, but my opponents finally lay dead. I was just wiping and sheathing my sword when I heard footsteps.

I turned and saw Jauffre walk in through the citadel door dressed in full battle gear. He sauntered over to a Dremora body, checked it, and asked me impatiently, "Have you helped Captain Burd and his men with that gate yet?". Then he turned around indifferently and walked out of the door.

Yeah, thanks for the assistance and the sarcastic remarks Jauffre

Thanks,

Kroot

Not so much funny as it is kinda creepy, but this JUST happened to me.



*spoilers beyond this point*


I am just about finished the Cheydinhal quest about the corrupt Captain of the Guard. Anyway, I just retrived the evidence to incriminate Ulrich, and just happened to pass by the area where Aldos was killed only minutes earlier. But this time, rather than lying dead on the ground, he's standing upright next to the big statue in front of his house with his arms outstreached like he had been crucified on an invisible cross.

Never saw that one before...it's a little unsettling, to tell the truth.

HAHAHA!!!

Oh man, that one made me laugh quite a bit.

A flashback to my funniest Oblivion story today: once I sniped a bandit, his friend did not see me and assumed a deer was the shooter; problem was that he was carrying one of the orry parts so I had to chase him down.
This time I shot a bandit while sneaking, he survived but did not see me so he killed a mudcrab and went back to guarding.

And just now:

Citizen 1: All of Dibella's Priests and Priestesses-- Murdered!
Citizen 2: By the Gods!
Citizen 1: No doubt.
Me: No it was these weird creatures sent by this dead elf....

Well, something very odd happend to me a couple of days ago. Was out exploring east of Bruma, and I spot a deer, since i′m playing a hunter, the only proper thing to do is kill it!
Said and done, I shoot the deer with an arrow, but it doesn′t kill it so I follow it for a while.
Suddenly I see a bandit (outside a cave which was full of ′em I migth add) and, getting my priorities straigth, properly dispatch the bandit.
I′ve now seen the cave so I start heading towards it. Now something hits me in the back, i figure it′s another bandit so I turn around.
Well, apparently that deer wasn′t quite done with me, so... now I′m being hit by a half-dead deer, something I realy didn′t think was possible.
I acctualy let it take me down to something like 50% health just to see the combat animation of deer!