What has made you laugh the hardest in Oblivion? The fabled SECOND thread!

A couple moments for me:

I was in the MG quest where filthrager gets smashed by the crusher trap, I was auto-running out of the ruin, healing myself and wondering if I should become a full-time restoration artist. Then the platform I was on moved, and I'm like, "Oh shoot I'm on the trap :ahhh:!" So yes, I'm as dumb as Filthrager...

I just got finished with the The Siren's Deception quest, and I had a bug where one of the gang wouldn't attack. So I hit her with Duskfang Superior and I got the "your killing has been observed by forces unknown..." message, I slept on the bed to get a level (14) and Lucien appeared, and he talks to me when the two guards are there. I'm like, GUYS... THERE'S A MURDERER IN DA HIZ-OUZ...

I had just installed OOO, but as always I fail at installs so it glitched HARD. After uninstalling I saw a guard in the IC... Walking around in his skivvies. :blink:

Edit: If you came and saw "Nobody post or vote" It's because I accidnetally hit "Enter" and it submitted :facepalm:. I then had to a lot of quick revisions, which is why I have loads of edits.

I attacked a guard in my Undies.

And hid behind multiple things andd the guards couldnt find me.

*hides behind Countess's Chair*

"He's not in here, lets go look around town"

Edit: Whooops! I thought you said attacked BY a guard in your undies

So... is that like Evil Guys Gone Wild Attack?

Evil? How dare you! I am merley Morally challenged.

And no, its not what it sounds like.

:rofl:

Nothing beats screaming at the daedra in Oblivion.

"RUN! RUUUUUN WHEN I KILL YOU! NO! AHH GET AWAY :gun:!!! NO I DIDN'T DO THAT! HE DID!!!! NOT YOU DON'T DIE! I MEAN YOU CAN DIE BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT YOU!! :ahhh: RUN HE HAS THE BIG SWORD :gun:!! OMG IT'S A BIKINIMARCHER :bolt:!!!!! HAHA TAKE THIS MARKYPANTZ :toughninja: !! STOP IT'S HAMMER TIME... AHH NO YOU DIDN'T STOP :banghead: !!!"

Extreme fun. Try it sometime.

I saw the guy who sells stuff for deepscorn hollow was all like, Psst, hey you, ya you. I got what you need. But he didn't say it to me. He said it to a guard. The guards just pvssyd right after that. I was like phew he didn't kill my favorite seller or arrest him.

I was walking around in Cheydinhal, and two guards were having a conversation... sort of. One guard walks up to the other and says, "Hello." The response?

"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"

I finally left after the 20th repetition.

I tried to mount a horse I turned to gold (using a mod) and the game bugged out, and started a completely random animation.
http://i32.tinypic.com/fozw1y.jpg
I lol'ed

I have a lot of extremely funny moments in oblivion, my mods are always clashing in funny ways. :lmao:

I was doing the DB quest where you have to fake the guy's death and then you have to lead him to the grey mare right? I went in, and he's like"oh thanks w/e blah blah" and the dad who wants you to help his sons fight goblins is like "Have you seen my sons?" The guy I saved is like "No soz" I then left the building, came back to buy and sell something and like 1 second has passed. See the dad say "Have you seen my sons?" to the same person.... :facepalm:

Also, after I did the quest to help kill the goblins for his sons, went back and he's like "Omfg saved my sons thanks give you this sword etc" Talk to him again a second later, "Get away from me!" "Go bother someone else!"

Me: *Save* Takes out newly obtained sword.

Yesterday in Bruma castle barracks:

Captain Burd: Have you heard any news from the other provinces?
Guard: Nothing i'd like to talk about.
Captain Burd: Have you heard any news from the other provinces?
Guard: They say syndicates of wizards...

:lmao:

Random Dinner Explosions

Whereby a group of NPCs are sitting around a table for a meal, a new one shows up and takes a seat, and he clips with an item on the table just right... and a chorus of loud thuds and bangs rings out as food and plates fly in every direction. The explosion escapes the notice of the diners, too. The nearest one smiled at me vaguely.


From a gameplay standpoint, becoming a master of conjuration at lvl1 brings a lot of laughs. Sneak sneak sneak, and summon a gloom wraith in a lowly marauder's face. Turn a dremora lord loose among a pack of churls. Fend off a rat with a storm atronach.

Remembered an old one with my Khajiit assassin, i had a save in Cheydinhal Fighter's guild. When i loaded it, a book flew just by my characters face, i turned to look where it came from, and there was an imperial sitting by a table looking innocently. Damn racists...

After saving a woman's husband who was trapped in a painting, we both returned and there was a cut scene where they were happy to see each other. She then gave me a huge thanks and a reward but as soon as that was over she went bi-polar on me and said "What are you doing Here" and "I suggest you leave immediately" (as if to call the guards). I guess the reason it happened was because I completed the mission at night around 2 or 3 am when most people are asleep. So once she was done there must have been a minor bug where she then thought I had just broken in the house. Anyway, I made a quick exit without an incident.

This wasn't much but on several occasions I have also seen Ongar the Weary (Thieves Guild Fencer) just walking around in stealth mode at the bar he usually hangs out at. He never does anything and will often say high to me as he sneaks on by.

Perhaps the funniest moment I had was when I planned on robbing a woman's house. I waited for the guard and lady to pass the house when another fellow shows up and sneaks behind the woman. He robs her but she notices and screams as the guard walking right next to her gives chase to the thief. I decide to follow them as they run all over the place but eventually the guard corners the thief at a bar and kills him with a few arrows. He then leaves. I searched the dead thief and get some nice new equipment, gold, and a key. It got even funnier when I realize that the key I found was the one that goes to house I planned to rob.

Why Thank you my fellow dead thief. :celebration:

*BOTHER* Are we there yet? *BOTHER*



I love random conversations :rofl:

I hate posting right after I just posted, but this is extremely funny.

I was doing Unfriendly Competition, and I decided to stalk Thorinir wearing my underwear (I'm Crazyking; I don't need a reson ). So I crouched down where him and Agarmir meet, still in my skivvies, and listened. Something caught my eye, so I looked... and the main merchant of Mystic Emporium (UESP is down... again... sigh) was walking down the path. He glanced at the nvde stranger and the people he was spying on and kept on walking. :blink:

Not sure if this is funny or just plain WTF: weeks ago, in-game time, I borrowed a horse from Weynon Priory. It got attacked by a land dreugh on the road to Skingrad and died. (And I know it was dead, because its body was still sprawled in the road when I came back from Skingrad, two days later.)

I forgot all about it, since it'd been weeks, but last night I happened to be on the road to Skingrad again...when what should happen, but I came across a lone horse.

My horse, in fact. The Weynon Priory horse. Standing in the road, right where it'd died, perfectly alive and well.

...Whut. :blink:

Guard: Great, the Champion of Cyrodill just got his newbie horse killed!

Guard 2: What do we do?!?!

Ocato: I declare a crisis! :ahhh:

Guard 3: Uhh, guys... why don't we just send another one?

All: :blink:

I once talked to a member of the Black Horse Courier at just the right moment to see something that should not even be seen in Cirque Du Soleil. While the courier was talking to me, she bent over and put her torso between her legs and kept going until she was upright again. :blink: Then she did it three more times! :wacko: I've see flexible before (hell, I can rotate legs to face backwards while my torso faces forewards) but this is insane. Other things that make me laugh are those crazy breakdances that happen every now and then, the occasional floating arrow(s) that I come across and the AI. I once saw a guard in the IC Market walking in circles instead of his patrol route. I find these videos funny too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaP7UvOaM5E&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMRuOI5MqEU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhVD63fP0Kg&fmt=18

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tm1lS3YLe4

There was some AI weirdness during The Lady of Paranoia. It went something like this.
PC: Herdir, torture her!
Nelrene: No!
Herdir: *tortures!*
Nelrene: Auuugggh!
PC: *leaves*
Nelrene: *totally calm and casual* Be seeing you.

And this one I have to include for the epic fail on my part. It happened during the Molag Bal shrine quest. As usual, I attack the widower, and he started wailing on me. Then I noticed that his health was rather low, lower, gone. Later, I realized it was because... I was wearing some piece of jewelry that reflects damage. Way to go, self.

Just had a mildly funny one....

I was just coming out of Wendir, having cleaned the place out. I was working my way back out through the poison traps, when I hear, "Unh! Ah! Oh!" behind me. I thought, "What the hell?" and turned around and looked and who do I see charging heedlessly through the clouds of poison? Audens Avidius. By the time he got to me, I only had to hit him twice to kill him.

What a tool.....

Wow this is funny :lmao:

Whenever I shoot a goblin in the head they start spazzing around everywhere, sometimes to the point of flying two feet in the air. Other than that, I don't get many funny moments. :shrug:



Ah! Just remembered another. I was walking outside of the Roxey Inn, and there were the normal two horse riding patrols. But their horses were hovering about two feet in the air, and they were stuck into each other, so the horses' head was coming out the other's backside. The horses and guards were still making the riding motion. After staring for a second, I decided to wait an hour to see what would happen. As soon as the screen started fading in, I heard a horrible scream and both horses fell dead, and the guards continued their routes.

I entered castle Bravil during nighttime, for the Heart of the Dead quest mod, only to find two guards sitting on the two thrones, chatting. I approached ,and they greeted me, when i talked to them, they stood up and started patrolling again. :shrug:

Haha, slacking off, 'eh?

For some unknown reason (i know its mod related, as i have about 200 active) i will be running down the roads in cyrodiil, and all of a sudden a bandit will come running out of the bush. He doesnt attack me, but instead runs the way im heading. I follow him to find out that he is chasing another bandit, who is in turn chasing another, so on and so forth. i think the longest string i had was about 15 before i discovered that they were all chasing a single deer.

Something else i noticed is that none of the wild life seem to want to attack me. mud crabs dont go ninja on me anymore, deer dont flee, and wolfs to accost me anymore. Actually, more of than not, they actually help me. i had a mudcrab take on a bandit for me and WIN. :blink: figure that one out.