Ive playeed high school lacrosse, not a particularly well known sport, for the past two years and ive probably spent about 3 hrs a day, 6 days a week for about 11 months a year. Needless to say ive grown very close to my team-mates. They are like brothers to me. Now since i started playing in 7th grade my class was told of the grandeur of winning the state championship and that we had a great chance at it. Unfortunately we lost in the quarterfinals to a team that we've lost to three years in a row in the same round. Right now the hurt is unimaginable, i know this seems selfish to say when they are so many greater tragedies in the world that could occur, but it still is overtaking every other thing in my life. It seems as if all the hard-work was for naught , part of my pain comes from my high school legacy being destroyed and the story-book ending to our season rewritten but also a tremendous fear that all the work ive put into relationships with my mates is now going to end. Whats your opinion on this particular issue and on overcoming grief in general.

If it′s from a thing like this you do it by recognizing that the other team is a good team that deserved the win. Look at it the optimistic way, you didn′t lose, they won.

Being able to recognize when others have worked hard and are better also makes it easier to recognize how well you did against those that lost to you. Or let me rephrase that, "against those that you won".

With this mindset I′ve never really felt bad about losing a sports event.

I don't see why losing should affect your relationships with your teammates at all.

THIS!

Its just a game you play it for fun.

It's not the losing its the fact I'm a senior and now the seasons over. I guess the team was really the only thing i felt I belonged to in high school

It's just high school.

Following high school, the real fun starts, and once you have a family of your own, the idea of belonging will merely be an afterthought.

There are many worse things that can happen in your life—things that are permanent. So instead of feeling down, go hang out with your friends from the team (some of whom are likely feeling down themselves) or organize a pick up game and just have fun remembering the good times.

It's just a game. :shrug:

I understand your attachment to it, but still, find something else to fill your time.

1: It is important to enjoy the journey, just as much as the end. Looking back, are you glad you've made friends with these people? Without all of your work towards this single goal (winning the state championship) I doubt you would have so strong a bond.

2: You don't need to win a state championship just to stay friends. A friendship takes 2, and the only reason it stops being a friendship is if one or both people stop making the effort to be friends.

Of course its going to hurt not winning the championship, but there is certainly a silver lining to it, dont you think?

EDIT: As for your feeling of acceptance into the team and similar feelings, there are more things yet in life you can feel accepted in, like a family, as Third Eye said.

Your contributions to your team don't end because your graduating high school. Every member of a team helps to create a legacy of knowledge and skills that are passed on through the team's coach and those members who stay on for the next year. Your very particpation, your every struggle, will eventually be the foundation for future victories for the team, even after you've long since moved on. As for the friends you made at the time, don't let the relationships go away just because the event is over. Networking outside the "official" enviroment is essential to long-term friendships.

The way I've looked at it when something really bad happens is that it certainly isn't the last time or the first time, so might as well get used to it. Remaining calm after a tragedy is a habit that doesn't just appear by itself.

High school drama, and it isn't even a relationship thread.

Become an hero.

"It's not about winning or losing, it's how you play the game."

So basically, in 10 years from now, it won't exactly make that much of a difference in your life anyway. What you'll take with you are all the good times and the memories. All the failures in life are merely stepping stones, like Thomas Edison once said, "I failed my way to success". There are so many successful people out there in the world, and they'll all have one thing in common, at least one failure. But if they stopped there and moped about it, they wouldn't have been able to move on and be what they are now! Jason Lee initially wanted to become a professional skater, but became an actor instead and is now the star of the hit TV show My Name Is Earl. You know who else started out wanting to be something else? Hitler! He actually wanted to become an artist.

Alternately, you could grow a beard, drink excessively, and cry yourself to sleep every night, but that won't really do you any good, would it? (Except the beard, which might get people to take you more seriously.)

So yeah, how we survive is what makes us who we are.

So your in Grade 12 (I assume) and you lost to these guys again and its your last year. Yes you have very reason to be upset and since you are going off to college/trade school/university/workforce next year you and your mates wont be seeing each other as much. It si sad that you all coudln't win, but I wouldn't exactly call that grief. Grief is when a family member dies, or a pet, or whenyour family injures yourself or commits a felony and goes to jail, not we lost the lacrosse championship.

This thread can't be for real.

Seriously, there are US, British, Canadian and German military units in both Iraq and Afghanistan dying everyday and you are worried about the last sporting event in your senior year of high-school?

C'mon. Get over yourself and your little clique of friends and open your eyes to the larger picture. Seems a little trite, inconsequential and unimportant losing the high-school championship compared to the grief the families of those soldiers go through.

Your team at least made it to the quarter finals. Think about the team that every year, loses to yours and doesn't make it to quarterfinals. Part of growth and maturity is dealing with loss. Yes, it is disheartening when you and your teammates put so much effort and time into the sport. Soon it will be college projects, then work related projects, and family projects. You still have teammates, keep in touch. Just because you are moving on in life doesn't mean you have to leave old friends behind.

War is not the best example for important things to bring to the table really. And even if it was more important it still hold no relevance to this thread in particular. May as well just mention the most important thing for everything then and debunk everything else as trivial. (Granted sporting events are quite trivial).

Really? That's what you are going with? I don't necessarily blame you. I blame society. They've made sports, sports stars and movie stars martyrs. They've made all the above more important than anything in the world. What do they report on first in the media? Who won what game. Then they make a small statement about who died during an IED attack then they go right back to sports.

You honestly believe that the OP's losing his high-school championship is more important than what is happening over seas? Really? That fighting two wars and losing thousands of lives holds no relevance to a sporting event? Really?

Sporting events are "quite" trivial? No. They are. They are the most unimportant thing next to folding a piece of paper. I'm sorry, comments like yours and the OP's are infuriating. Society has put these sporting events, sports stars and movie stars on pedestals they don't deserve to be on. The OP is dealing with "GRIEF" of losing a high-school championship? And that is MORE important that a soldier's family "GRIEVING" over the loss of their son, husband, daughter is not? Again, really?

Basically, what you said is that the OP's loss of his game is more important than a relative of yours dying.

This thread is trite. The feelings the OP has are trite. My only hope? This thread gets locked.

Those relatives wouldn′t be out there dying if the concept of an army did not exist. If there was not an army for corrupt leaders to play with. People who rule with an iron fist do it because they have an army to terrorize his subjects and other countries. I can′t think of a single country that has an army that has never been used for greedy or selfish purposes. I may have a bit of a clouded mindset since I come from a country that doesn′t have an army but can you say that one country has more conviction over the other that it is in the right ? Would people enlist themselves to defend leaders who are oftentimes bad people and would people enlist themselves to shoot others if they did not feel threatened or in the right ?

Extremist groups attack one country and it retaliates, the people of that country see an army stepping into their borders and feel the need to defend themselves. How do you think the USA would react if an extremist group in their country attacked another country, and that country decided to retaliate against the entire USA ?

No one can tell me soldiers can only do good and in my mind soldiers are worth less than your average student doing constructive things preparing for his future, and wars are worth less than something as trivial as a sports event. Honestly most wars are born from a lack of communication and education.

Of course death is a bigger deal than some sports event, but I think soldiers are a poor excuse for important people. They only support a vicious cycle that fuels war.

Perhaps I will see your point and perhaps you will see mine, but until someone convinces me otherwise this is my opinion.

Pretty simple actually. Have an issue? Grab a tissue.

J/K

It sounds like you've been getting outplayed by a better team over the past few years. Put your grief in your pocket, and spend that energy formulating a better game plan for the next time you face them. Grief doesn't and won't get you anywhere in life. Toughen up, because seeing as how you are so young, you have a whole lifetime of grief to look forward to. Losing people you love, breaking up with a gf, not getting that job you wanted, not getting into the school of your choice...etc etc. Go through life with a thicker skin, stop wasting time with foolish emotions. This is my adivce. And FFS, kick their [censored] next year!!

Its not about winning or losing, its how you play the game.

As i said in the op, it seems like a trivial issue. But it's something that has been my world for 2 years. By your way of looking at things anything bad that happens to you in life doesn't matter because someone else is getting it worse. Sure this is an omniscient view of the world but try actually putting that into action next time something hurts you, its not so easy.

If you are really passionate for the sport, find a college that has lacrosse. High school is great, but I just got finished with my first year of college, and I loved it. I didn't play any sports, but I took music classes, and I love them. They are so much better then high school classes dude. Just look at it that way! I know how you feel though. I remember playing at a battle of the bands, and my band worked really hard to make it there. We came in second.. It was devastating, but come to find out, there are so many other opportunities out there that we could have, that it didn't last too long. Think of the long run dude! It can SOMETIMES make situations like yours so much better.

Ok I had to stop reading and respond to this. So now there is more important things going on in the world? So how come you are on the interent? How come you are buying video games to play? (after tall you are on a video game forum). There are so many poor people in the world who don't even have shoes on thier feet. How come you spend money on internet and video games? I guess you spent money on a computer or console as well so that money could have been better spent than you playing video games.

In other words where do you get off being on your high horse? Is there more important things going in the world? Yes of course there is. So how come you are not giving up your internet, games and what ever else you do, and with all that money saved, give it to the poor and needy. You are no better and just a hipocrit.

The thing is we all have a life. Just like you, it's not more or less important than anyone elses. For you to say this is so low. It just upset me on how you can say such a thing and you are no better.



As to the OP, I am sorry I don't know what to really say. I have been an outcast in highschool. I was worse. I wasn't good enought to be with the cool crowd, but even worse, I wasn't smart enought to be with the nerds geeks or what not. So I was an outcast from all sides. So I can understand how the Lacross team gave you some meaning. Yes it's tough that it will be gone soon. I don't think that loosing again is what hurts (because even if you won, you will still feel what you do eventually) but it's loosing with what sense of idenity you have.

Learn from this experiance. Don't let it get you down, you are not the only person who is ever like this. We are all like this to some extent, worse or better. Yes it will be tough not to have the Lacross team anymore, but that doesn't mean it will end. You guys can still keep in touch afterwards. If they don't keep in touch, then they really are not your friends. There is so much to life, you will have something to fill in the void. It just takes time.

How about joining another leauge if that is possible. How about doing some other sports or going joining a gym or working out by jogging and doing other things? How about picking up an instrument, like a guitar vilon, or what ever strikes your fancey? How about art? Models or mintures and paint them? Make a new hobby to take over what you have lost.

There is alot of great advice here, you don't have to do it right away, but take it slowly but not to slowly. Make some new friends and enjoy life out there. It's up to you to grasp it.

Is it lonely up there on your pedestal?