I have to agree with OP on certain things such as not being able to freely Roleplay as whoever you want; i.e OP's example of a sneaky explosives master or some [censored] Bufflord who just smashes things (1 INT, MAX STR and Melee).
However, disagreeing with OP, we cannot see this game with shaded lens and say that "I want it this way, because I'm the customer". FO4 is a refreshing new change because:
They added a heavy background to the main character: a parent looking for his kidnapped son. Plus, that peson is either an Army veteran or a Lawyer. This effectively removes a lot of the roleplaying elements we want, i.e we can't create a [censored] female Bufflord anymore because she is a Lawyer! Although this narrows the roleplaying element by a huge factor, it opens up other elements like letting us create and GROW a character with some sort of realistic progression. That's quite role-playing to me; I mean, the level caps on Perks are so that one doesn't immediately master the wasteland as soon as he steps out of a cryogenic deep sleep. Bottomline: don't judge this game based on YOUR expectations of it. Bethesda marketed it as such on E3 as they DELIVERED.
There is a whole new element of building your own home. That itself is quite RP. I believe this element was taken from Minecraft? To be able to build your own Fort or settlement just like the stories of Vault Dwellers who founded great nations like NCR.
Removal of skills does make it slightly more realistic. I mean, how does a personal attribute affect the damage of an explosive or how does it allow a gun to do more damage when the damage is dependent on the hit area, caliber and weapon attribute. Of course, this is my take on how Bethesda is trying to make the game more "realistic". I could be wrong because breathing underwater ain't realistic (Aquaboy/girl) LOL. Level caps on perks are not new to RPGs as most RPGs (almost all) have that.
Nevertheless, we should see this as a game on its own and not take any expectations of previous titles into the game. From an objective point of view, this game is really good if we don't put our expectations onto it! Subjectively speaking, its a refreshing new change (aside from bullet sponging enemies )!
Kudos to Bethesda