We all know that writing and dialogue is very important in story and character-centric games like the Elder Scrolls. To help improve the writing lets pick out some isolated bits of dialogue that could be a really cool hook for a quest or reveal something interesting about a NPC.

Here's mine:

Trapped in a loveless marriage...

By Azura, by Azura, by Azura!

Not quite sure where you're going with this but okay...

Is that supposed to be on fire?

Stop!! You have violated the law!!!

Who stole my bloody spear?

You move like a pregnant cow!!!

:unsure:

"I saw a mudcrab the other day. Horrible creatures." bliviongate:

"Those bloody imperials took my ring!"

:cookie:


YOU ARE SO LUCKY I DON'T TRANSFORM INTO A WEREWOLF AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS

or

STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM (and everything else the guards say)

"How can I help you?"

Stops. "Good Day". Looks at you. Keeps going.

Niker

*Male Nord Notices you looking at him from across the tavern and walks over clearly drunk*

"You look funny at me so I open your head now." *Draws a battle axe*



*Random Nords*
"Would you like that nicely shaped watermelon on your shoulders sliced open?"

I would also settle for "Halt!"

"Please, feel free to die at any moment!"

(I've just got this one without thinking too much).

"Do you mind if I stay for breakfast?"

I, Hatchet Jack, being of sound mind and broke legs, do leaveth my axe to the next thing who finds it, Hircine hope he be a white man. It is a good axe, and kilt the bear that kilt me. Anyway, I am dead. Sincerley, Hatchet Jack.

That's a slight rewording of a funny note found on a dead man in the movie Jeremiah Johnson.

In the voice of Jack Sparrow: "You smell funny,"
Or, "Speak Up!" from the Morrowind Nords.

This!

I'd also like to see "I have a feeling you and I are about to become veeery close!"

"Greetings, marsh-brother" between two Argonians, in their little lizard accents...

STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SKUM! YOU'RE STOLLEN GOODS ARE NOW FORFIT!

Well since the OP is Shooter Macgavin how about, "Jacka$$!"

Ahh Yes! We've been expecting you...

You've finally arrived, but your records don't say from where...

Under sun and sky, outlander. We greet you warmly.

Ya like to dance close to the fire don't you?

Why walk when you can ride?

I don't recall ever using teleportation, but there I was....Naked.

I could kill that guar. Those boots are ruined.

Did your blind mother dress you this morning?

I have a feeling you and I are about to become very close.

May your kills be quick... and many!

Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt. Everywhere dirt.

Go about your business but I'm watching you.

You n'wah!

AAAiieeee! Ohoho! Aeeoohh! Ahahaaaah!

Ohh, you're naked...spare me

Why is it without clothes?

The prey approaches *gets hit in the mace with a face*

*sniff purrrrrr* This scent is new...

I have a feeling someone is watching me

By the gods! You tourists are a nuisance!

Ha! Fine words from one born from the wrong end of a guar.

Let's not make this official, outlander. Move along.

You're not exactly charming your way into my graces, friend.

*Burp* I should lay of the Mazte...

Smelly, unkempt, unwashed. I see standards are lowered every day.

Speak quickly oulander or go away!

Welcome, friend. I feel as though I should know you.

I think you're a thief because you've stolen my heart.

...so Hrokar says, 'Bend over and kiss your old mother goodbye!' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA

"Khajiit has no words for you!"

oh, hey. you're that guy who's slaying the dragons aren't you? you know, there's a dragon over there, I can see it from here. I think it's killing people... yep, definitely killing people. you could go slay it if you want, if it's not too much trouble. I don't want to pressure you or anything but, well... people are dying and it kinda svcks. Just a thought.

Seen any elves? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

You look half dead. Why don't you find someone to finish the job?

A man who says his words backwards or wears his pants on his head. Now that's a man you can trust.

[censored] that dragon has a big [censored]. Bigger than big [censored] Sigvat and he had a [censored] big [censored].

Ten fire dragons sitting on the wall...

Tooth paste. Is that for fixing broken teeth?

Seen any snow? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

There's a khajiit who's sure all that glitters is gold and they're climbing a stairway to heaven.

Of course I sell pillows and bug lamps.

Do you happen to know what the fine is here in Skyrim for necrophilia?