Hello, and welcome. This thread will be a forum game based on the lore of Skyrim. I will state a scenario based in the world of Skyrim. You can then reply with the action you wish for the protagonist to take. The first valid response will be the taken action. Then I will write the result of the action and then the next person can write another action and etc etc. A valid action is qualified as something realistic and possible in respect to the Skyrim setting.

So the scenario is:

You are Olfar, a poor farmer working on a windmill east of Markarth. One day you fell the spirit of adventure awaken inside of you. You decided to seek out wealth and glory in the land of Skyrim. Before you do you decide you need to get proper equipment to survive an adventure. You only own some ragged clothes and some loafs of bread. You only have 26 Septims as Orgarld the greedy mill owner barely pays you at all. How do you proceed?

Murder Orgarld and take all his stuff.

I set fire to the mill and eat the dirt surrounding it after smearing excrement all over myself.

You go into Orgarld's house at night. You expect him to be sleeping, but the fat Nord is finishing a 3 hour long dinner. You are surprised when you enter and Orgarld sees you. He jumps out of his seat and starts screaming at you out of rage. Luckily for you he begins to choke on a sweetrole he was chewing and falls down. You watch him die on the floor. You then search thru his items. You find some better clothes and an iron war axe. You also find 137 extra septims in a coffer. You get ready to leave when you hear someone outside. You assume it's Yarnlam a female nord who also works at the mill. What do you do?

Smear excrement all over my body, burst through the door and cry "Im on fire, I'm on fire!"

You attempt to smear excrement all over your body, but a poor diet makes it hard for you to produce any. The person outside is attempting to get in. What do you do?

Retrieve excrement from the corpse on the floor and smear it all over my body and burst through the door screaming "I'm on fire, I'm on fire!"

Drive the war axe through the wooden front door to stave off the intruder.

((Ignore soop if he's just going to talk about feces.))

You attempt to retrieve excrement from the corpse, but before you can a bandit burst thru the door. The bandit is a male Orc wearing fur armor and carrying an iron sword. You stare at each other for a second as the bandit takes in the scene. He then begins to close in at you ready to swing his sword. What do you do?

((good idea dragon slayer, sorry didnt see your post till i made my reply))

Lift the corpse and use its limbs in a comical manner to fend off the bandit.

Block the oncoming attack and dive to the right. While the attacker is off balance, go for a chop to the Achilles Tendon.

You attempt to lift the corpse, but it is far too heavy to lift in a way that can be practical. The bandit stops to observe you, but then proceeds with his attempt to stab you. What do you do?

((Dragon slayer gets next one))

(( or whoever posts))

I would.... Though I fear it may be ignored...

((post something more serious and ill do it))

Why so serious?

Humour is a legitimate method of story telling.

((well, its hard to work with constant feces jokes))

You attempt to lift the corpse, but it is far too heavy to lift in a way that can be practical. The bandit stops to observe you, but then proceeds with his attempt to stab you. What do you do?

Fail a block and take a stab to the chest.

You fail to block the bandits lunge and the sword slides into your chest. You fall back in shock and the bandit then attempts to pull the sword out. He has no luck and the hilt breaks off as the sword is old and worn. You now have a sword blade in your chest. The bandit fell back. You are heavily injured and bleeding out on the floor. What do you do?

Realize your mother after all had slept with the Redguard postman and his curved sword, discover the dormant powers of Adrenaline Rush within you and pull the blade out of your chest like a baws, yelling 'YOU FIGHT LIKE A PREGNANT COW' and stabbing the bandit with it.

You realize that your mother enjoyed a Redguard's curved sword and the power of Adrenaline Rush awaken inside of you. You pull out the blade in your chest and scream "YOU FIGHT LIKE A PREGNANT COW". You lunge the broken blade into the bandit. The bandit overtaken by this sudden assault fails to protect himself as a blade end cuts into his throat. He quickly dies and falls to the ground. You then catch your breath when Yarlam, the female Nord who also works the mill runs in. She gasps as she sees the two corpses as well as you bleeding. She runs to your aid and asks, what happened? What do you tell her?

Tell her that you had walked in on the bandit murdering Orgarld and avenged him, though you were heavily injured doing so. Ask her to take you somewhere safe and patch you up, while also saying that if you die tonight, you want it to be in the arms of such a beautiful woman. Then collapse from blood loss.

You tell her that you had walked in on the bandit murdering Orgarld and avenged him. You ask her to take you somewhere safe and patch you up and tell her that if you were to die tonight, you want to be in the arms of such a beautiful woman. You then collapse from blood loss. You wake up in her shack at the mill. She has treated your wound and you have a bandage on your torso. Yarlam is no where to be seen. You slowly exit her shack and examine the scene. The mill has been ravaged by bandits. The few other workers attempted to fight off the 5 bandits that attacked the mill the night before. Corpses of bandits and mill workers dot the area. You look around, but see no sign of life. You take a seat on a stump and meditate on the transpired events. Some time passes and Yarlam is no where to be seen. Later towards the evening you hear cries of struggle coming from a nearby patch of trees. You go towards it with a wood cutting axe you found near the stump. You see a very young Orc bandit on the floor, heavily injured fighting off 2 wolves. What do you do?

I would ask him to quit being a pansy.

Not really I will ash him what happened despite the reason being obvious.