Alright, this story doesnt immediately start off with Point Lookout, so dont leave any nasty comments before reading the whole thing! <_<

Prologue



"Get behind cover!" Captain Price yelled in a loud, commanding voice. Soldiers scattered for cover as Pvt. Issaic Miller dove behind a dilapidated shed. Bodies were dropping aound him one by one while he pulled a grenade out of a pouch on his belt. "Grenade, going in!" Issaic yelled yanking the pin off of the grenade. He quickly hurled the grenade towards a group of Enclave, it hit the ground and rolled towards them. "[censored]! Grenade!" one yelled just a second before it burst into a blood strewn fiery explosion. A dismembered arm soared down from the sky and landed a few meters away from Issaic. "Hell yeah! Four for one" Issaic yelled thrusting his fist in the air. "You see that Cooper, thats how its done!" Issaic said turning to a soldier standing adjacent to him, "Ok, now that was impressive!" Private Dillon Cooper Uttered in astonishment, as Issaic and Dillon hit fists. Dillon pulled his helmet off of his head, and wiped some sweat from his brow. "Whoo! This is intense!" Dillon yelled over the cries of soldiers, and bursts of gunfire. "What the hell is your problem! Put that helmet back on your thick skull, before your sorry ass is grass!" Captain Price shouted at Dillon. "Sorry, sir!" Dillon yelled. "What an ass.." Dillon muttered donning his helmet. "Tell me about it." Issaic sighed.

One last gunshot could be heard before a voice sputtered out of their Walk-E Talk-Es saying "Area secured.". The troops trudged through the sodden, gore ridden fields of Everglow National Campgrounds, and gathered under the shade of a large, black, decaying tree. "Allright ladies," the captain said teasingly. "Your gonna' haul your sorry asses over to Rockbreaker's Last Gas, and wipe out any remaining Enclave scum, without saying a word! Do you understand?" Captain Price bellowed over the troops. "Sir yes sir!" The troops cried together before they hurtled off towards Rockbreaker's.

"I can't wait to get back to the citadel.." Issaic mumbled. "I know, I cant wait to feel my recliner's warm embrace.." Dillon said almost drooling. "[censored]! Watch out!" Issaic yelled grasping Dillon's arm and pulling him behind a rock. Plasma soared inches away from Dillons head. Issaic blindfired a few shots from his laser rifle from behind the rock. A yelp of pain could be heard after the fourth shot. Issaic peered over the rock and saw an enclave with his arms wrapped around his stomach, cringing in pain. Issaic hopped over the rock and tackled the soldier to the ground. He pulled off the soldier's helmet and threw a strong punch into his head, as Issaic's fist met with the soldiers jaw, blood and teeth spewed out of his mouth. Issaic quickly got to his feet, and forcefully rammed his metal boot into the soldier's skull, leaving behind nothing but a bloody mess.

Dillon ran out from behind the rock, "Ho-ly [censored]...that was probably the coolest thing i've seen in my entire life!" Dillon blurted out with widened eyes. "Yea that was a bit insane wasn't it?" Issaic laughed. "Damn, when we get back to base you've gotta' teach me a thing or two Issaic!" Dillon exclaimed. "Alright, but right now lets focus on slaughtering the rest of these bastards." Issaic said. And so the two went on and caught up with the rest of the group. After approximately 4 hours of endless combat, the battle was finally over. A vertibird that was taken from Adam's Airforce Base, flew in and heartily greeted the brotherhood troops. "Outstanding job soldiers!" Lieutenant Cunnigan trumpeted to the soldiers. She then ushered the troops onto the vertibird as they flew off into the distance.

A good 20 minutes later they arrived at the citadel. The roar of the propellers could be heard throughout the citadel, as well as the wholesome cheers of the soldiers inside. The vertibird landed in the center of the citadel, and the troops poured out into the crowd. Everyone greeted the worn out troops and rewarded them for their courage. Issaic was greeted and applauded by many people, including Pvt. Nicole Cross. Issaic was always trying to impress her, he really liked her but never really got the chance to talk to her. Issaic headed to his dorm and removed his power armor, placing it in a trunk along with his weapons. He collapsed onto his bunk out of sheer exhaustment. Within seconds he was out like a light.

He woke up the next morning to his captains voice on his HAM radio saying "Alright girl scouts, rise and shine! We've been assigned an extremely important mission! Head down to my office for briefing!" Issaic slipped on a t-shirt, and some jeans, and waved his mid length dark brown hair out of his icey blue eyes. He put on a pair of boots and headed for the captains office. The captain sneered at the soldiers and yelled, "Alright maggots, you have been assigned a top priority mission to investigate unexplored territory. Not much is known about this place yet, except that is far unlike D.C. and its called, Point Lookout. It has few if any inhabitants so don't expect the thrill of a lifetime. Now gather your gear and report back here in 0600 hours. Dismissed!"

Its just a prologue so dont complain about the length. Comments are appreciated! :tops:

Good work, I liked it, although I think I recognise "Captain Price"... Did you perchance play Call of Duty 4 recently? Lollz, either way, I liked it, good length for a Prologue. If you can, check out my story to! Although I think this is better than mine.

I was wondering where that name came from, lol. And noooooooo way is this better than your fan fic. Yours is freakin awesome!

Wow, thanks for the compliment, although I do think yours is intelligently written. I enjoyed it, I hope you enjoyed writing it!

Thanks! Once I get some more feedback I'll definately make more.

Bump?

Nicely written, the Cptn is tough but justifies.
It honestly reads like a train.

Some pointers though:


"then" is a word I try to avoid as much as I can. It's a bit like: And then, and then, and then....
u know what I mean.

And the timeline suddenly went quite fast.
I'd like to know how the fight ended, what they were up against etc.

But apart from that, very well written.

Thanks for the compliments and advice! I'll be sure to use them in chapter 1 :tops:.

[Deleted]

Nicely written, the whole rapid pace of the battle made me imagine how it must really be in combat. No real time to think, just act. Once again, nicely written. Hope to see more soon, mate

THanks! I'll try to write another tomorrow if i get the chance to.

another bump for good luck.

Wow, this doesnt seem to be doing very well . Oh well, I guess I'll write a new one tomarrow anyway, because I have a completely clear schedule tomarrow. :tops:

Never haste your writings. I always try to think up one or two side events for a chapter, so it never gets too boring.
I take it that you allready know the main story line.

Don't judge the popularity based on the first post you publish, publish a few more, and you're bound to get more attention. I love it so far, and Point Lookout is a very creative idea. Much better than those ones that take place with the main character in Fo3, because those just annoy me...

Allright, I'll get to work on chapter 1

This is pretty good, I look foward to the next chapter.

Chapter 1- The Nightmare Begins.

"Issaic. Issaic its time." Issaic could see his mother leaning over him, talking to him.

"Mom?" Issaic said in a confused tone. "What? What are you talking about its me, Dillon!" The voice laughed. Issaic's weary eyes widened. Sure enough, Dillon was leant over him, beckoning for him to get up. "Oh, sorry. I guess I must've been dreaming.." Issaic yawned. "Well theres no time for dreaming pal, we've gotta go!" Dillon lectured. "Oh [censored]! I completely forgot about that somehow!" Issaic exclaimed as he gathered his equipment. "How could you have forgotten about this? Its been like, 2 hours.." Dillon questioned. " I don't know, all I know is that we have got to be at the heli-pad before 0600 hours." Issaic muttered, as he buckled his belt, and put a few grenades in the pouches that were attached to it.

"Alright i'm ready, lets go." Issaic prompted. Issaic and Dillon, ran through the hallways of the A-Ring, to get to the heli-pad. They looked like children, racing eachother to the end of the halls before they started back up again. "Alright, good they didn't leave without us." Dillon sighed. They both slowed down and started walking up towards the helipad. Suddenly, the propellers on the vertibird, started to spin. They became faster, and faster, before the loud humming of the vertibird, echoed throughout their vacinity. "[censored]! They dont even see us, they're going to leave!" Issaic shouted over the incredibly loud noises of the vertibird. They both started running again, this time sprinting. They sped up the metal stairs of the heli-pad, each time there metal boot met with rustic stairs, a satisfying chime would sound. The pilot couldn't stop now he was just about to lift into the air, before Issaic and Dillon leaped into the interior of the aircraft. Just seconds later, it sped up into the air, and dissapeared over the horizon. "Damn, that was a close one." Issaic said panting.

"Jesus, where were you guys?" An accented voice yelled over the humming of the vertibird. It was Pvt. Manuel Perez. "Well, I had to run over to this idiot's room and wake him up! He would've overslept if it wasn't for me!" Dillon shouted with pride in his voice. He slapped Issaic over the back of the head. "Hey!" Issaic yelled, with a stern look on his face. Dillon and Manny laughed. "E.T.A. ten minutes!" the pilot shouted. "Alright, listen up!" a voice instructed from behind the trio. They turned around, Captain Price looked at them and frowned. "You maggots have got a new squad member! Private Nicole Cross." Captain Price yelled. Issaic's heart skipped a beat.

Wow, I definately didn't expect this. But I cant say I don't enjoy it. Issaic thought, with a grin on his face.

"Now, she deserves just as much respect as you do! Hell, she deserves more respect than you do!" The captain continued. The whole squad glared at her with angered countenances. Except for Issaic. He just sat there, grinning. He looked like a complete idiot. Luckily no one was looking at him. Except for Nicole. They both stared at eachother. Now they both looked like idiots. Issaic turned away shaking his head.

Wow..that was akward..

"E.T.A. five minutes!" The pilot shouted again. "Now, if I see any of you slacking off, you'll be in a world of trouble! Now get ready, and I don't wanna' hear a word!" the captain shouted, patting Nicole on the back and sending her to a seat. The squad got all their gear together, and waited for their arrival.

"Prepare for landing!" The pilot shouted one last time. Everyone in the squad pulled their power helmets over their heads, and checked their weapons.

Issaic looked out of the window of the vertibird. The ground was rising up to them, closer, and closer, until he felt a bump. They had landed. The thick metal doors slid open, by the firm hand of Captain Price. "Alright, now get out there soldiers, and do what you came here to do!" Captain price yelled. "HOORAH!" The whole squad shouted in harmony. The squad exited through the doorway of the vertibird, and got a first look at their surroundings.

They were at an old, rundown amusemant park. A huge, dilapidated ferris wheel, loomed above them. "Damn, this place is...different." Issaic muttered. "Lets go marines!" Captain Price shouted, signaling for his squad to follow. The troops walked through the eerie amusemant park, their weapons drawed, taking in their surroundings. This place was nothing like anywhere else in the wasteland. This place was completely different. This place, was about to get much worse.

"Well, so much for a top priority mission.." Dillon remarked. The squad found themselves trudging through a murky swamp, pushing vines out of their way, and stepping over fallen trees. Issaic turned to see a blurr of movement behind the trees. He stopped moving abruptly. "What was that?" Issaic questioned looking through the trees. "What?" the captain said turning to Issaic. "I just saw something move behind those trees." Issaic said, pointing to where he saw it. "Alright marines, lets check it out." the captain ordered, walking to the trees. As soon as he turned around the corner, he held his weapon up and aimed it, searching for hostiles. "I don't see anything." The captain said. He turned around and looked at Issaic. "Is this some kind of joke soldier? Because I don't find it very fu-" The captain stopped suddenly. His eyes widened. Blood started to pour out of his mouth.

"What the hell!" Manny yelled. The captain legs buckled, and his limp body impacted against the muddy ground, revealing an axe, sticking out of his back. "Oh my god!" Nicole screamed in terror. Issaic took aim, looking in every direction. "What the hell's happening!?" Issaic shouted. A faint, shrill laugh could be heard. One of their squad members, Pvt. Chris Beckett, leaned over and checked the fallen captain's pulse. "[censored], hes dead." Chris sighed. "What the [censored]!!" Dillon yelled aiming his gun, in the opposite direction of Issaic. Manny fired a few rounds into the gloomy sky, "Come out you sick, [censored]!" Manny yelled, shooting some more. "Damnit' Manny, do you wanna' get us all killed!?" Pvt. Angela Robinson shouted. Issaic leaned over and pulled the holotags off of Cpt. Levi Price's neck. He slid two fingers over his opened eyelids, closing them. "We'll get em' for you Levi." Issaic whispered as he stood back up.

"Alright we've got to get out of here. I'm sure theres more of these psychos. Lets move!" Issaic ordered. Nicole was tearing up. Issaic couldn't help but feel sorry for her. After all, she was brand new. "Issaics right. Who knows who might be next. Lets find somewhere safe." Dillon said. The squad cautiously wandered off into the swamp. Their weapons drawed, there minds ever so vigilant. They couldn't let their guards down. Eventually they came to an abnormally large shed. Issaic signaled for everyone to stay put, "I'll check it out." Issaic announced.

Issaic slowly turned the handle on the shed door, before he threw it open and aimed his rifle into the shed. He couldn't believe what he saw.

Alright, there we go, Chapter 1 tell me what you think, and tell me if you find any errors. :tops:

Nice so far a few mispellings but besides that good job!

please point them out if you can so i can fix them

Sounds good but a few little things.

You are talking about the brotherhood I assume since they are based outta the citadel and have captured vertibirds. So no privates, or captains. You would have initiates, knights, and paladins.

Second Marines probably don't say who-ah. They usually say things like semper-fi.

But the story is good.

You don't bump fan-fics...

You write another chapter

Actually, marines do say hoorah, and the army says Hoo-Ah, but I do agree that i should've gona with the initiate knights and captains. I guess it just slipped my mind. And thanks for the compliment